Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

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It is not uncommon for some people - typically people who have more moneythan common sense and who are relatively new to BDSM - to attempt topurchase credibility through their toys and equipment. They may not have anyexperience to speak of, but at least they can boast that they have the best toys intown. Just as some vanilla folks may use expensive cars and fine jewelry tobolster or flaunt their social status, there are a few BDSM folks who do thesame with fetish toys and equipment. Owning a RollsRoyce doesn’t necessarily make someone a good driver, and owning cool orexpensive BDSM gear doesn’t necessarily make him a good Top, either.Fourth, and finally, you should understand the need to fluid bond certain types offetish toys to specific individuals. Fluid bonding is the practice of ensuring thattoys or equipment which come into contact with bodily fluids are reserved forthe exclusive use of a single person, and no one else. Most of us instinctivelyunderstand this concept when it comes to things that are designed to come intocontact with bodily fluids, such as vibrators, dildos and buttplugs. But how many of us can truly say that we know where a flogger, orriding crop, or even a length of rope has been? The problemis further complicated by the fact that porous materials, such as leather, woodand hemp, can be practically impossible to sanitize effectively.This leaves us with two unpalatable options; one of them outrageouslyexpensive, and the other absurdly unrealistic. Thefirst option is to always assume that toys will come into contact with bodilyfluids and to fluid bond certain toys to certain individuals. The logicalconsequence of this is you’ll end up purchasingnew equipment each time you play with a new partner, which can quickly getprohibitively expensive. The other option involves going to ridiculouslengths to ensure that your equipment doesn’t ever come into contact withanyone’s bodily fluids, under any circumstances. The only conceivable way toaccomplish such a thing would
be to play only with fully-clothed individuals. I don’t know about you, but therealistic odds of that being my plan are pretty low.So, what do most people do, when faced with these two dreadful choices? Mostsimply do a little of each, picking and choosing which toys will become fluidbonded and which will not, and taking extra care with the non-bonded toys toavoid bodily fluids of any kind, or tosanitize them as best they can when it becomes unavoidable. Is it aperfect solution? Not by a long shot. But for most, it’s the only practical one.
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DOMINATION & SUBMISSION:THE BDSMREL
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DedicationThis book is for the peop
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Primal InstinctsMy Two Cents on Pri
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My Two Cents on Sex, Love, and BDSM
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PREFACE
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getting just a little ahead of your
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That is why you should fully unders
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTSI want to express my
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Chapter 1: The DominantWhat is a Do
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great majority of humanity.A very t
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IntrospectionDo you like being told
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more focused on facts than feelings
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also the not-so-insignificant matte
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equal partnership between two peopl
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If you are polyamorous, are youpoly
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Types of DominantsThere are many di
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subculture within the D/s lifestyle
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person’s anus. Yes, there really
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life to keep twenty-seven angry sla
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from such riff-raff? He knows all o
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was me - or more accurately, my own
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crying out, “Geez, Sir Knight! No
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Chapter 2: The SubmissiveWhat is a
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IntrospectionIf you are someone who
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I stated previously, most people ca
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behavior pleases her mate great, bu
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at the beginning of any relationshi
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her Dominant to have an orgasm - an
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Types of SubmissivesIf you are in t
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also requires us to believe that we
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hard - really hard.Theoretically, k
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accomplished by dinner time. This c
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categories: kittens, puppies, and p
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a better partner. This usually cons
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My Two Cents on SubmissionJade simp
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Charlotte, the Spider: I'm versatil
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the two extremes of Dominant and su
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IntrospectionHow do you know if you
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experience to speak of and just a f
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enjoyed practically everything she
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Sue, but submissive to Diane. His k
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I have a very good friend named Ann
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Chapter 4: The PrimalWhat is a Prim
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Michael Makai’s PRIMAAL AnalysisP
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o Award yourself an extra point if
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How Primal Are You?0 to 15:You are
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Primal PreferencesNow that we’ve
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covered-in-birthday-cake kind of se
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encounters. When Furries gather in
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Primal ScenesA primal scene is not
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She drew back for a split second, a
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Primal InstinctsIn the final analys
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We went back to her house, where we
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Chapter 5: Online BDSM Relationship
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CompuServe chat became available, i
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worlds? The process of choosing an
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sort. There’s no shame in admitti
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the online BDSM lifestyle, but they
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ChallengesDespite all of the appare
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should suffice to know that if thes
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· The percentage of vanilla online
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them. An IP address usually looks s
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Where Is It Going?Major League Base
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by a radioactive mule.” (Hat tip
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people discover the utility of cert
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supposed neighborhood. If someone t
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The safety advantage of online BDSM
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come back. It’s that much of a sh
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Chapter 6: The CollarWhat is a coll
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adornments such as rhinestones or m
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Types of CollarsA collar represents
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consideration are also collars of p
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vulnerable in BDSM environments tha
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consideration involves money or mer
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possibly be wrong with that? Well,
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submissive the ability to choose wh
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Your Collar, Your CommitmentIn this
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considered a yin and yang metaphor,
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Chapter 7: The Gorean WayThere are
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Gor novels from 1967 through the mi
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What is a Gorean?Devotees of the
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What Do Goreans Really Believe?If w
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The Gorean SlaveGorean slaves are c
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by raiding parties. They refer to t
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"Even though she had then been turn
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Rent Slave. A rent slave is a slave
Page 175 and 176: Categories of CollarsGorean merchan
Page 177 and 178: Coil CollarA coil collar is constru
Page 179 and 180: within, will be a message." (John N
Page 181 and 182: occasions, the sleeve collar may be
Page 183 and 184: ceremonies described by Norman in h
Page 185 and 186: Now, with his two hands, he held th
Page 187 and 188: Gor in Real World RelationshipsCont
Page 189 and 190: My Two Cents on GorI admit it. I’
Page 191 and 192: “The meeting of two personalities
Page 193: with a submissive. He can choose to
Page 196 and 197: and I was serving in the Army, stat
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Page 200 and 201: True, the odds of that person being
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Page 208 and 209: First Meetings: Sheila’s StoryWhe
Page 210 and 211: were invariably ignored. John Edwar
Page 212 and 213: aka Slavemaster, lived with his wif
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Page 224 and 225: Chapter 9: BDSM Toys & SafetyTypica
Page 228 and 229: Types of BDSM Toys & EquipmentWe co
Page 230 and 231: of his or her extremities for loss
Page 232 and 233: SleevesA BDSM sleeve is typically a
Page 234 and 235: order to escape smoke or fire.Harne
Page 236 and 237: Straps are often used in lieu of ro
Page 238 and 239: thing they all have in common is th
Page 240 and 241: plugs may also be susceptible to cr
Page 242 and 243: Impact GearBDSM impact gear is used
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Page 248 and 249: strike, which can be far more probl
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Page 254 and 255: Piercing, Scarification & BrandingA
Page 256 and 257: bacterial soap, and use a fingernai
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Page 260 and 261: person, but if you or your subject
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Page 264 and 265: the distant presence of an unfamili
Page 266 and 267: emergency signal that can be commun
Page 268 and 269: patented and trademarked product of
Page 270 and 271: physical, psychological, and sexual
Page 272 and 273: that is extremely low amperage, but
Page 274 and 275: EMS stands for Electrical Muscle St
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body part the electrical current fl
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torsion is another serious risk tha
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subject. Anyone who has ever gotten
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When it comes to safety, irritants
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cotton swab on a wooden stick, simi
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Cupping should be avoided by people
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Hot WaxHot wax play isn’t just fo
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your artistic talents, or just enjo
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reigns, plumes, harnesses, spurs, a
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inexpensive, and may even already b
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BDSM FurnitureBDSM furniture is a t
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bottom’s buttocks prominently and
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used to restrain the hands and neck
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suddenly discover a phobia of being
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My Two Cents on BDSM ToysThe year w
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“I refuse to join any club that w
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names, to draw attention to this br
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which often consist of families wit
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At best, you’ll embarrass yoursel
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makes youuncomfortable, turn your a
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you should resist the temptation to
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concerned.Don’t use it as a place
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revisiting it here, in our discussi
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furnishings, such as racks, platfor
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their own towel to sit on if they
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to separate the wheat from the chaf
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lifestyle-friendly businesses.If do
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fact, exactly what he did.In a path
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Chapter 11: Sex, Love, D/s, & BDSMP
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see naked, anyway.”“Apparently,
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Mistaking Love for BDSMPeople confu
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porn, and Natalie promised to keep
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well.It is unfortunate that Ian and
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“This is crazy; seriously crazy!
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Mark pondered her words and her emo
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I think D/s is sexy.My Two Cents on
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“The more you love, the more you
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for their mother, or for that matte
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should be able to marry whomever th
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Francisco area from 1971 until 1991
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Attention.It’s often easy to assu
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Potential Pitfalls of a Poly Relati
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· Don’t introduce new partners i
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members of the household before you
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Even positive changes can result in
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We don’t feel the need to drop on
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of the group are considered to be m
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Polyfuckery. A derisive term used t
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It seriously just kills me that I s
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Chapter 13: D/s, BDSM, & ReligionIt
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D/s and Judaism: Could Lead to Mixe
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D/s and Islam: Keep Your Clothes On
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haram under Islamic law. For exampl
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Tantric Buddhism involves harnessin
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that would today be considered typi
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own personal spirituality. Even so,
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United States, one can find a wide
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without sex, it’s relatively comm
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is subject unto Christ, so let the
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Another of Jesus’ unconventional
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Filling a VoidI wrote this chapter
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I think religion in general has unf
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Chapter 14: What Could Possibly Go
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Possible insights ahead. Use ‘em,
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dysfunctional D/s relationships tha
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understand what she’s done wrong
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lifestyle, I could easily adopt a t
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and submissives, and even went into
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such cases certainly favors a train
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betrayed by the little dots at the
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A folk tale that is often used to i
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Role reversal is characterized by a
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church, the community at large, or
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from now? Some states have recently
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“No, Dad.” I replied, “Techni
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such statements, but this woman was
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and experiences, much less tell you
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Avoiding the Train WreckIt may seem
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Thank you so much!I thought about i
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Chapter 15: Rainbows & UnicornsThis
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not as much of a pervert as you mig
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My Two Cents on HappinessGuess what
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“When I use a word,” Humpty Dum
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scenarios involving coercion, humil
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the law typically takes a dim view
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a submissive, passive, receiving or
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Torture)Catheterization. Catheteriz
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revoked. Alternately, a submissive
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submissive. A day collar may consis
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Eloctrostimulation. (See Electricit
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Flogger. A small hand-held whip wit
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activity with a person of the oppos
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any kind of rape fantasy does not m
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Hair Pulling. Refers to being sexua
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Injection Play. Injection play refe
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refuse, subject to circumstances, p
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another on aspects of the D/s or BD
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play, Spanking)Painslut. The painsl
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consider such activity as “intima
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trait, while furryism is more a mat
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ramifications. This sort of play is
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(See also: BDSM, Masochism, Sadisti
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in it, since this is an activity th
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another’s, and sanity can be hard
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general categories. BDSM Switches a
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Torture. Torture refers to any sust
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role playing as pet and veterinaria
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Appendix B: Silly Shit Mike Makai S
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much else matters. No one asks why
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Appendix C: About the AuthorMichael
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