Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

Toy Tips
There are a few things that I think are important to touch upon before we get too
wrapped up (pun semi-intended) in our examination of the joys of kinky toys.
The first would be this one: As exciting and wonderful as these toys can be, they
can’t replace the human touch and they are piss-poor substitutes for real
relationships.
Perhaps my personal bias towards meaningful D/s relationships is showing here,
but I truly believe that, ideally, these toys and their related activities are best
enjoyed with someone you love. If that isn’t possible, the next best thing is to
enjoy them with a good friend.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t or wouldn’t enjoy using them with strangers; I’m
just telling you where you’ll get the best bang for your buck.
The second tip I’d like to give you is this: Avoid becoming so focused on your
toys that you begin to see people as accessories. A person with a healthy
perspective thinks, “I love being with my girl; I can’t wait to try out some of
these news toys
with her!” Conversely, someone with a toy-focused perspective thinks, “I love
my new violet wand; I can’t wait to try it out on whomever.”
It is, of course, perfectly natural to be excited about your new toys. But do try
to remember that your toys should exist to please your
partner; your partners don’t exist to justify your toys.
The third word of advice concerns an unfortunate tendency among many in the
BDSM lifestyle to equate sophisticated or expensive fetish equipment with
experience and judgment. It’s natural to believe that because people have the
latest gadgets or top of the line fetish
equipment, that they know what they’re doing. But that isn’t always the case.
Be careful about assuming anything about potential play partners based simply
on their toys. They may not have a clue.