Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

Introspection
Do you like being told what to do? Practically everyone answers “no” to this
question, at first blush. After all, no one likes to be told what to do, particularly
if it’s done rudely, or when it’s not necessary. But I want you to think very
carefully, and ask yourself this: When I am confused, or hurt, or lost... when life
seems to be crashing down around my shoulders, do I then like being told what
to do? If you were to find yourself in a burning building, and an authoritative
voice yells, “Everyone run to the rear exits!” do you reflexively do so, or do
you instantly suspect that doing so might be a fatal mistake, if for no other
reason, than because everyone else will be doing so? If your immediate and
visceral reaction to any directive, no matter how reasonable, polite, or helpful, is
generally negative then (at the risk of sounding like the punch line from a certain
redneck comedy routine) you just may be a Dominant.
This is not to say that a Dominant can’t take orders. Of course they can take
orders. A Dominant does what he has to do, but he doesn’t necessarily have to
like it. In my particular case, even though I have been a die-hard Dominant all
of my life, I was also able to have a very successful military career. I had two
basic strategies for coping with being told what to do. First, I learned how to
become so good at what I did, that even my superiors consistently came to me
for advice and, second, I quickly got promoted to positions where I eventually
became the one giving the orders.
Unfortunately, many people are eager to accept the common misconception that
Dominants can’t or won’t take orders, or conversely, that because he does, he
must not really be a Dominant. Just because every two-year old child is at the
center of his or her own universe and doesn’t want to be told what to do doesn’t
mean that every Dominant must behave like a two-year-old and throw a tantrum
when he doesn’t get his way. It is, however, why it’s always important to be
able to differentiate between what a person does and who a person is.
Are you stubbornly independent, even to a fault? Imagine wandering through an
unfamiliar city, looking for the train station. Do you prefer to wander on your
own, even if it takes twice as long to get to your destination, rather than ask
someone for directions? Does it rub you the wrong way to accept help from
someone, even if you sorely need it or are probably entitled to it? Are you the
kind of person for whom the three most difficult words in the English language