Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

First Meetings: Sheila’s Story
When it comes to safety precautions for a planned first meeting, regardless of
the type of meeting, it is important to remember that sometimes, when it comes
to our own affairs, we are absolutely the worst judges of what may or may not be
a potentially dangerous encounter. Our good judgment quickly becomes
clouded by emotion and hope and we start to make critical mistakes, one of
which is to seriously underestimate the magnitude and possible consequences of
those mistakes.
When I caution friends to be wary and to take precautions prior to a first
meeting, I’m sometimes told, “Don’t worry, that won’t be necessary. I’ve been
chatting with this guy for months; I think I know him pretty well.” One very
pretty but incredibly naïve nineteen-year-old friend cockily assured me,
“Nothing bad is going to happen!” When I asked her how she knew, she replied,
“I know how to tell a guy no, if I need to.” And, I believe her; she probably
does. Unfortunately, there may be times and circumstances when that simply
isn’t going to be enough.
Take, for example, the case of Sheila, who was a hard-working, intelligent fortyfive-year-old
widow who lived in Pueblo, Colorado with her twenty-one-yearold
daughter, Debbie. Her husband had passed away eight years previously from
cancer, and she missed his companionship. Her daughter Debbie was confined
to a wheelchair due to a spinal condition called spina bifida, and Debbie’s care
requirements kept Sheila at home most nights with only her internet chat room
friends for company. She had just moved to Pueblo a few months earlier from
Fullerton, California and hadn’t yet made many friends in Colorado.
Eventually, through a personal ad and subsequent online chats, she became
acquainted with John, a successful fifty-year-old businessman in Kansas City,
Missouri. John was a lifestyle Dominant who was also a scoutmaster, tee-ball
coach, Sunday school teacher, and had even been a member of the board of
directors of a charitable organization that helped the handicapped. As far as
Sheila was concerned, the fact that he was knowledgeable and experienced in the
BDSM lifestyle and financially secure were just icing on the cake.
It didn’t take very long for Sheila to fall head-over-heels in love with John. He
seemed to be everything she had ever wanted in a mate; incredibly smart, funny,
successful and kinky. He told Sheila he had a job lined up for her in Kansas