Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

with a submissive. He can choose to reveal himself by his mannerisms or by
discussing the fact that he is a Dominant, or he can impose himself on the other
person by unwisely attempting to dominate her at this first encounter. The
former is a revelation; the latter, an imposition.
His date may be a submissive, but she is not his submissive.
Even if a submissive is normally attracted to this sort of dominant behavior, she
may not appreciate being placed in a position of having to decide how to react to
his attempt at asserting himself in such a fashion this early in the process.
Feeling imposed upon may be an uncomfortable feeling, but it is of relatively
minor consequence compared to the very real danger that some submissives may
face in the event that a Dominant unwisely asserts himself in a way that
oversteps the boundaries of
everyday etiquette and lifestyle protocol. A submissive can sometimes
find herself in a potentially dangerous first meeting scenario where her usual
good judgment and survival instincts are swept aside when she is caught up in
the overwhelming emotions of the moment.
How do you know if you are about to do something potentially stupid and
dangerous? Here’s how: If you’re considering a mid-meeting change to your
original plan for how things were supposed to go, then this would be a good
time to take a couple of deep breaths, count to ten slowly, and remind yourself
that there were some very
good reasons for the original plan. One of those reasons was to protect
you from your own emotionally compromised judgment and impulsivity. No
matter how badly you may want to turn off your phone and follow him back to
his hotel for a good spanking, odds are that if it wasn’t part of the
original plan, it’s probably not a good idea. At times like that, it might be a
good time to say, “I love you, but not in an I-want-to-be-featured-on-an-
Investigation-Discovery-episode kind of way.”