Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

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That is why you should fully understand what you’re getting into, why you’redoing it, and whether you are suited for it. It is only after those key questionshave been answered, that you should be at all concerned with whether or not youmight be any good at it.A final caveat, which I feel compelled to make before you read much further,would be to explain my conscious decision to dispense with the practice offootnoting all factoids and their sources. I am a firm believer in the words offinancial wizard Bernard Baruch, who once quipped, "Every man has a right tohis own opinion, but no man has a right to be wrong in his facts." I have gone togreat lengths to be as meticulous as possible in researching and validating thefacts, statistics and data that I’ve cited in this book. I’ve also shared many of mypersonal opinions and anecdotes, which I always attempt to identify as such.The controversial topic and treatment of my first book, published in 2012 undera pseudonym, taught me an extremely valuable lesson. That book waspainstakingly researched, heavily footnoted, and meticulously researched fromthe most credible and authoritative sources available. In the end, that simplydidn’t matter.Readers who were predisposed to agree with my world-view ignored the thirtypluspages of footnotes. Conversely, readers who held differing views frommine seemed all too willing and eager to automatically dismiss any source ofdata that supported an opposing point of view as being non-credible.Consequently, the notes which were provided as an expression of my earnestdesire to be scrupulously accurate and transparent in my research became,instead, nothing more than a distraction and liability.The lesson I learned from that experience was this: The measure of a book’ssuccess isn’t found in its footnotes, it can only be found in its utility. If you findthe information contained in the pages of this book to be useful to you, then thatis a very good thing. In that case, I would recommend that you put thatinformation to work at making your relationships more fulfilling, and your lifebetter. I would also ask you to recommend or give the book to your friends andrelatives who might derive some benefit from it.If, on the other hand, you don’t much like the facts and statistics that I’vepresented in this book, or if you strongly disagree with my admittedly uniquelifestyle perspective, that’s perfectly okay too. You are certainly entitled to yourown opinions, if not your own set of facts. I would encourage you, if you’re any
good at articulating your thoughts and are ready to write a best-selling book, togive me a call. Maybe I can help you out.The bottom line is I hope you will enjoy reading this book as much as I enjoyedwriting it, and that you will feel that the price you paid for it was money wellspent.
Page 2 and 3: DOMINATION & SUBMISSION:THE BDSMREL
Page 4 and 5: DedicationThis book is for the peop
Page 6 and 7: Primal InstinctsMy Two Cents on Pri
Page 8 and 9: My Two Cents on Sex, Love, and BDSM
Page 10 and 11: PREFACE
Page 12 and 13: getting just a little ahead of your
Page 16 and 17: ACKNOWLEDGMENTSI want to express my
Page 18 and 19: Chapter 1: The DominantWhat is a Do
Page 20 and 21: great majority of humanity.A very t
Page 22 and 23: IntrospectionDo you like being told
Page 24 and 25: more focused on facts than feelings
Page 26 and 27: also the not-so-insignificant matte
Page 28 and 29: equal partnership between two peopl
Page 30 and 31: If you are polyamorous, are youpoly
Page 32 and 33: Types of DominantsThere are many di
Page 34 and 35: subculture within the D/s lifestyle
Page 36 and 37: person’s anus. Yes, there really
Page 38 and 39: life to keep twenty-seven angry sla
Page 40 and 41: from such riff-raff? He knows all o
Page 42 and 43: was me - or more accurately, my own
Page 44 and 45: crying out, “Geez, Sir Knight! No
Page 46 and 47: Chapter 2: The SubmissiveWhat is a
Page 48 and 49: IntrospectionIf you are someone who
Page 50 and 51: I stated previously, most people ca
Page 52 and 53: behavior pleases her mate great, bu
Page 54 and 55: at the beginning of any relationshi
Page 56 and 57: her Dominant to have an orgasm - an
Page 58 and 59: Types of SubmissivesIf you are in t
Page 60 and 61: also requires us to believe that we
Page 62 and 63: hard - really hard.Theoretically, k
Page 64 and 65:
accomplished by dinner time. This c
Page 66 and 67:
categories: kittens, puppies, and p
Page 68 and 69:
a better partner. This usually cons
Page 70 and 71:
My Two Cents on SubmissionJade simp
Page 72 and 73:
Charlotte, the Spider: I'm versatil
Page 74 and 75:
the two extremes of Dominant and su
Page 77 and 78:
IntrospectionHow do you know if you
Page 79 and 80:
experience to speak of and just a f
Page 81 and 82:
enjoyed practically everything she
Page 83 and 84:
Sue, but submissive to Diane. His k
Page 85 and 86:
I have a very good friend named Ann
Page 87 and 88:
Chapter 4: The PrimalWhat is a Prim
Page 89 and 90:
Michael Makai’s PRIMAAL AnalysisP
Page 91 and 92:
o Award yourself an extra point if
Page 93 and 94:
How Primal Are You?0 to 15:You are
Page 95 and 96:
Primal PreferencesNow that we’ve
Page 97 and 98:
covered-in-birthday-cake kind of se
Page 99 and 100:
encounters. When Furries gather in
Page 101 and 102:
Primal ScenesA primal scene is not
Page 103 and 104:
She drew back for a split second, a
Page 105 and 106:
Primal InstinctsIn the final analys
Page 107 and 108:
We went back to her house, where we
Page 109 and 110:
Chapter 5: Online BDSM Relationship
Page 111 and 112:
CompuServe chat became available, i
Page 113 and 114:
worlds? The process of choosing an
Page 115 and 116:
sort. There’s no shame in admitti
Page 117 and 118:
the online BDSM lifestyle, but they
Page 119 and 120:
ChallengesDespite all of the appare
Page 121 and 122:
should suffice to know that if thes
Page 123 and 124:
· The percentage of vanilla online
Page 125 and 126:
them. An IP address usually looks s
Page 127 and 128:
Where Is It Going?Major League Base
Page 129 and 130:
by a radioactive mule.” (Hat tip
Page 131 and 132:
people discover the utility of cert
Page 133 and 134:
supposed neighborhood. If someone t
Page 135 and 136:
The safety advantage of online BDSM
Page 137 and 138:
come back. It’s that much of a sh
Page 139 and 140:
Chapter 6: The CollarWhat is a coll
Page 141 and 142:
adornments such as rhinestones or m
Page 143 and 144:
Types of CollarsA collar represents
Page 145 and 146:
consideration are also collars of p
Page 147 and 148:
vulnerable in BDSM environments tha
Page 149 and 150:
consideration involves money or mer
Page 151 and 152:
possibly be wrong with that? Well,
Page 153 and 154:
submissive the ability to choose wh
Page 155 and 156:
Your Collar, Your CommitmentIn this
Page 157 and 158:
considered a yin and yang metaphor,
Page 159 and 160:
Chapter 7: The Gorean WayThere are
Page 161 and 162:
Gor novels from 1967 through the mi
Page 163 and 164:
What is a Gorean?Devotees of the
Page 165 and 166:
What Do Goreans Really Believe?If w
Page 167 and 168:
The Gorean SlaveGorean slaves are c
Page 169 and 170:
by raiding parties. They refer to t
Page 171 and 172:
"Even though she had then been turn
Page 173 and 174:
Rent Slave. A rent slave is a slave
Page 175 and 176:
Categories of CollarsGorean merchan
Page 177 and 178:
Coil CollarA coil collar is constru
Page 179 and 180:
within, will be a message." (John N
Page 181 and 182:
occasions, the sleeve collar may be
Page 183 and 184:
ceremonies described by Norman in h
Page 185 and 186:
Now, with his two hands, he held th
Page 187 and 188:
Gor in Real World RelationshipsCont
Page 189 and 190:
My Two Cents on GorI admit it. I’
Page 191 and 192:
“The meeting of two personalities
Page 193:
with a submissive. He can choose to
Page 196 and 197:
and I was serving in the Army, stat
Page 198 and 199:
inclined to be as sympathetic as I
Page 200 and 201:
True, the odds of that person being
Page 202 and 203:
few days. Allot yourselves plenty o
Page 204 and 205:
it and drive across it slowly and d
Page 206 and 207:
asking yourselves is, is this the b
Page 208 and 209:
First Meetings: Sheila’s StoryWhe
Page 210 and 211:
were invariably ignored. John Edwar
Page 212 and 213:
aka Slavemaster, lived with his wif
Page 214 and 215:
but you also need to be able to tru
Page 216 and 217:
important phone numbers and having
Page 218 and 219:
The article examined the difference
Page 220 and 221:
where you want your relationship to
Page 222 and 223:
think I can do that.”Three days l
Page 224 and 225:
Chapter 9: BDSM Toys & SafetyTypica
Page 226 and 227:
It is not uncommon for some people
Page 228 and 229:
Types of BDSM Toys & EquipmentWe co
Page 230 and 231:
of his or her extremities for loss
Page 232 and 233:
SleevesA BDSM sleeve is typically a
Page 234 and 235:
order to escape smoke or fire.Harne
Page 236 and 237:
Straps are often used in lieu of ro
Page 238 and 239:
thing they all have in common is th
Page 240 and 241:
plugs may also be susceptible to cr
Page 242 and 243:
Impact GearBDSM impact gear is used
Page 244 and 245:
the construction of paddles, but th
Page 246 and 247:
these functions include sensation,
Page 248 and 249:
strike, which can be far more probl
Page 250 and 251:
has the potential to cause serious
Page 252 and 253:
sensations. A significant part of t
Page 254 and 255:
Piercing, Scarification & BrandingA
Page 256 and 257:
bacterial soap, and use a fingernai
Page 258 and 259:
was originally designed to be used
Page 260 and 261:
person, but if you or your subject
Page 262 and 263:
mask when engaging in this sort of
Page 264 and 265:
the distant presence of an unfamili
Page 266 and 267:
emergency signal that can be commun
Page 268 and 269:
patented and trademarked product of
Page 270 and 271:
physical, psychological, and sexual
Page 272 and 273:
that is extremely low amperage, but
Page 274 and 275:
EMS stands for Electrical Muscle St
Page 276 and 277:
body part the electrical current fl
Page 278 and 279:
torsion is another serious risk tha
Page 280 and 281:
subject. Anyone who has ever gotten
Page 282 and 283:
When it comes to safety, irritants
Page 284 and 285:
cotton swab on a wooden stick, simi
Page 286 and 287:
Cupping should be avoided by people
Page 288 and 289:
Hot WaxHot wax play isn’t just fo
Page 290 and 291:
your artistic talents, or just enjo
Page 292 and 293:
reigns, plumes, harnesses, spurs, a
Page 294 and 295:
inexpensive, and may even already b
Page 296 and 297:
BDSM FurnitureBDSM furniture is a t
Page 298 and 299:
bottom’s buttocks prominently and
Page 300 and 301:
used to restrain the hands and neck
Page 302 and 303:
suddenly discover a phobia of being
Page 304 and 305:
My Two Cents on BDSM ToysThe year w
Page 306 and 307:
“I refuse to join any club that w
Page 308 and 309:
names, to draw attention to this br
Page 310 and 311:
which often consist of families wit
Page 312 and 313:
At best, you’ll embarrass yoursel
Page 314 and 315:
makes youuncomfortable, turn your a
Page 316 and 317:
you should resist the temptation to
Page 318 and 319:
concerned.Don’t use it as a place
Page 320 and 321:
revisiting it here, in our discussi
Page 322 and 323:
furnishings, such as racks, platfor
Page 324 and 325:
their own towel to sit on if they
Page 326 and 327:
to separate the wheat from the chaf
Page 328 and 329:
lifestyle-friendly businesses.If do
Page 330 and 331:
fact, exactly what he did.In a path
Page 332 and 333:
Chapter 11: Sex, Love, D/s, & BDSMP
Page 334 and 335:
see naked, anyway.”“Apparently,
Page 336 and 337:
Mistaking Love for BDSMPeople confu
Page 338 and 339:
porn, and Natalie promised to keep
Page 340 and 341:
well.It is unfortunate that Ian and
Page 342 and 343:
“This is crazy; seriously crazy!
Page 344 and 345:
Mark pondered her words and her emo
Page 346 and 347:
I think D/s is sexy.My Two Cents on
Page 348 and 349:
“The more you love, the more you
Page 350 and 351:
for their mother, or for that matte
Page 352 and 353:
should be able to marry whomever th
Page 354 and 355:
Francisco area from 1971 until 1991
Page 356 and 357:
Attention.It’s often easy to assu
Page 358 and 359:
Potential Pitfalls of a Poly Relati
Page 360 and 361:
· Don’t introduce new partners i
Page 362 and 363:
members of the household before you
Page 364 and 365:
Even positive changes can result in
Page 366 and 367:
We don’t feel the need to drop on
Page 368 and 369:
of the group are considered to be m
Page 370 and 371:
Polyfuckery. A derisive term used t
Page 372 and 373:
It seriously just kills me that I s
Page 374 and 375:
Chapter 13: D/s, BDSM, & ReligionIt
Page 376 and 377:
D/s and Judaism: Could Lead to Mixe
Page 378 and 379:
D/s and Islam: Keep Your Clothes On
Page 380 and 381:
haram under Islamic law. For exampl
Page 382 and 383:
Tantric Buddhism involves harnessin
Page 384 and 385:
that would today be considered typi
Page 386 and 387:
own personal spirituality. Even so,
Page 388 and 389:
United States, one can find a wide
Page 390 and 391:
without sex, it’s relatively comm
Page 392 and 393:
is subject unto Christ, so let the
Page 394 and 395:
Another of Jesus’ unconventional
Page 396 and 397:
Filling a VoidI wrote this chapter
Page 398 and 399:
I think religion in general has unf
Page 400 and 401:
Chapter 14: What Could Possibly Go
Page 402 and 403:
Possible insights ahead. Use ‘em,
Page 404 and 405:
dysfunctional D/s relationships tha
Page 406 and 407:
understand what she’s done wrong
Page 408 and 409:
lifestyle, I could easily adopt a t
Page 410 and 411:
and submissives, and even went into
Page 412 and 413:
such cases certainly favors a train
Page 414 and 415:
betrayed by the little dots at the
Page 416 and 417:
A folk tale that is often used to i
Page 418 and 419:
Role reversal is characterized by a
Page 420 and 421:
church, the community at large, or
Page 422 and 423:
from now? Some states have recently
Page 424 and 425:
“No, Dad.” I replied, “Techni
Page 426 and 427:
such statements, but this woman was
Page 428 and 429:
and experiences, much less tell you
Page 430 and 431:
Avoiding the Train WreckIt may seem
Page 432 and 433:
Thank you so much!I thought about i
Page 434 and 435:
Chapter 15: Rainbows & UnicornsThis
Page 436 and 437:
not as much of a pervert as you mig
Page 438 and 439:
My Two Cents on HappinessGuess what
Page 440 and 441:
“When I use a word,” Humpty Dum
Page 442 and 443:
scenarios involving coercion, humil
Page 444 and 445:
the law typically takes a dim view
Page 446 and 447:
a submissive, passive, receiving or
Page 448 and 449:
Torture)Catheterization. Catheteriz
Page 450 and 451:
revoked. Alternately, a submissive
Page 452 and 453:
submissive. A day collar may consis
Page 454 and 455:
Eloctrostimulation. (See Electricit
Page 456 and 457:
Flogger. A small hand-held whip wit
Page 458 and 459:
activity with a person of the oppos
Page 460 and 461:
any kind of rape fantasy does not m
Page 462 and 463:
Hair Pulling. Refers to being sexua
Page 464 and 465:
Injection Play. Injection play refe
Page 466 and 467:
refuse, subject to circumstances, p
Page 468 and 469:
another on aspects of the D/s or BD
Page 470 and 471:
play, Spanking)Painslut. The painsl
Page 472 and 473:
consider such activity as “intima
Page 474 and 475:
trait, while furryism is more a mat
Page 476 and 477:
ramifications. This sort of play is
Page 478 and 479:
(See also: BDSM, Masochism, Sadisti
Page 480 and 481:
in it, since this is an activity th
Page 482 and 483:
another’s, and sanity can be hard
Page 484 and 485:
general categories. BDSM Switches a
Page 486 and 487:
Torture. Torture refers to any sust
Page 488 and 489:
role playing as pet and veterinaria
Page 490 and 491:
Appendix B: Silly Shit Mike Makai S
Page 492 and 493:
much else matters. No one asks why
Page 494:
Appendix C: About the AuthorMichael
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