Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )
almost by definition, the commitment is not yet strong enough to merit meetingin real life. Do online collared relationships ever successfully make the difficulttransition to real life? Of course they do. Unfortunately, the odds of ithappening are extremely low.
Types of CollarsA collar represents, for the individuals involved, whatever they agree that itrepresents. In other words, no one should attempt to define the symbolism,meaning or significance of another person’s collar. It would be very much liketrying to tell a married person what her wedding ring is supposed to symbolize.Each collar means something different to the person wearing it. Even so, thereare several generic classifications of collars which you may encounter thattypically have the same meaning to just about everyone in the BDSM lifestyle.In other words, if you want your collar to mean something else entirely, it’sprobably not a good idea to use one of the following names for it:Velcro CollarVelcro collars don’t really exist, at least not in the sense that the term isgenerally used in the BDSM community. It’s a derogatory term used by peoplein the lifestyle who take their collars very seriously to describe the practice ofcollaring indiscriminately and often, without regard to whether or not there isany real relationship at its core. The rapid growth of BDSM related internet chatrooms, games, and instant messaging programs have contributed to an onlineenvironment where casual and often anonymous experimentation occurs withfew significant or lingering consequences. As a result, it is not at all unusual tosee brand new, curious or naïve self-proclaimed Dominants collaring severalnew submissives each day. The commitment associated with accepting such acollar is typically limited to a one-night-stand of cybersex, after which the statusof the pseudo-relationship is dubious, at best.One of the things that make so-called Velcro collars a common phenomenon, atleast in the online BDSM community, is the unfortunate tendency on the part ofnew submissives to believe that they must find a Master immediately, and at allcosts. This is not only foolish, but can be extremely dangerous, especially forbrand new, naïve submissives who haven’t yet learned how to protectthemselves from the predators and abusers who are sometimes drawn to thelifestyle like moths to a flame. It’s reminiscent of the old Steve Martin jokeabout how to be a millionaire. (“First, get a million dollars.”) Similarly, thereare many curious people exploring the lifestyle right now who believe that thekey to becoming a submissive is, “First, get a Master.” The truly unfortunatething about it is, it’s not a joke.
- Page 91 and 92: o Award yourself an extra point if
- Page 93 and 94: How Primal Are You?0 to 15:You are
- Page 95 and 96: Primal PreferencesNow that we’ve
- Page 97 and 98: covered-in-birthday-cake kind of se
- Page 99 and 100: encounters. When Furries gather in
- Page 101 and 102: Primal ScenesA primal scene is not
- Page 103 and 104: She drew back for a split second, a
- Page 105 and 106: Primal InstinctsIn the final analys
- Page 107 and 108: We went back to her house, where we
- Page 109 and 110: Chapter 5: Online BDSM Relationship
- Page 111 and 112: CompuServe chat became available, i
- Page 113 and 114: worlds? The process of choosing an
- Page 115 and 116: sort. There’s no shame in admitti
- Page 117 and 118: the online BDSM lifestyle, but they
- Page 119 and 120: ChallengesDespite all of the appare
- Page 121 and 122: should suffice to know that if thes
- Page 123 and 124: · The percentage of vanilla online
- Page 125 and 126: them. An IP address usually looks s
- Page 127 and 128: Where Is It Going?Major League Base
- Page 129 and 130: by a radioactive mule.” (Hat tip
- Page 131 and 132: people discover the utility of cert
- Page 133 and 134: supposed neighborhood. If someone t
- Page 135 and 136: The safety advantage of online BDSM
- Page 137 and 138: come back. It’s that much of a sh
- Page 139 and 140: Chapter 6: The CollarWhat is a coll
- Page 141: adornments such as rhinestones or m
- Page 145 and 146: consideration are also collars of p
- Page 147 and 148: vulnerable in BDSM environments tha
- Page 149 and 150: consideration involves money or mer
- Page 151 and 152: possibly be wrong with that? Well,
- Page 153 and 154: submissive the ability to choose wh
- Page 155 and 156: Your Collar, Your CommitmentIn this
- Page 157 and 158: considered a yin and yang metaphor,
- Page 159 and 160: Chapter 7: The Gorean WayThere are
- Page 161 and 162: Gor novels from 1967 through the mi
- Page 163 and 164: What is a Gorean?Devotees of the
- Page 165 and 166: What Do Goreans Really Believe?If w
- Page 167 and 168: The Gorean SlaveGorean slaves are c
- Page 169 and 170: by raiding parties. They refer to t
- Page 171 and 172: "Even though she had then been turn
- Page 173 and 174: Rent Slave. A rent slave is a slave
- Page 175 and 176: Categories of CollarsGorean merchan
- Page 177 and 178: Coil CollarA coil collar is constru
- Page 179 and 180: within, will be a message." (John N
- Page 181 and 182: occasions, the sleeve collar may be
- Page 183 and 184: ceremonies described by Norman in h
- Page 185 and 186: Now, with his two hands, he held th
- Page 187 and 188: Gor in Real World RelationshipsCont
- Page 189 and 190: My Two Cents on GorI admit it. I’
- Page 191 and 192: “The meeting of two personalities
almost by definition, the commitment is not yet strong enough to merit meeting
in real life. Do online collared relationships ever successfully make the difficult
transition to real life? Of course they do. Unfortunately, the odds of it
happening are extremely low.
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