Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

The Rewards
You might think, after wading through all of the negatives that we’ve discussed
thus far, that online BDSM relationships are not worth the effort, but that isn’t at
all the conclusion you should take away from this chapter. Some of the most
fulfilling and lasting D/s relationships I’ve ever been in began in one fashion or
another in an online environment. There really are a lot of positive aspects to
seeking or exploring a relationship online.
Ironically, one of those positive aspects is the paradox that allows people to be
themselves behind a cloak of relative anonymity. It’s been proven time and
again in psychological studies that people will typically reveal more of their
inner thoughts and feelings when they believe they are anonymous. Most of us
are taught from an early age to stifle or conceal our sexual urges, kinks, and
fetishes. Under the banner of equality, we are indoctrinated for most of our lives
to reject the notion that some people born leaders and others born followers, or
that there may actually be real and significant differences between men and
women. In their quest to eliminate real abuse, many in our society stigmatize
those who may find pleasure in pain, enjoy corporal discipline, or find
fulfillment in giving themselves fully and without reservation to the person they
love. Is it any wonder that many people have difficulty finding an outlet for
exploring and expressing such things? The online environment allows them to
do just that.
Anyone who has ever been involved in an online relationship can tell you that
not only can it be a very freeing experience, but it can also be a very deep one.
The medium forces you to focus on what is in your heads and hearts rather than
on things like appearances, age, physical characteristics, sex appeal, or social
and financial status. For many people, it will be the first time in their lives that
someone is willing to overlook those superficialities to see through to their
souls, and that can be quite intoxicating.
Another positive aspect of exploring an online BDSM relationship is its relative
safety. Obviously, you’re not going to get physically injured or contract a
sexually transmitted disease from a chat room. That safety feature begins
evaporate, however, the closer you get to actually meeting for the first time. In
Chapter 8: The First Meeting we’ll go over some of the steps you can take to
preserve that safety advantage.