Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

sort of thing happens to dominant people who are required to function as
subordinates at work or in relationships.
We’ll discuss various ways to help a person to determine their core D/s
personality type elsewhere in this book. As a general rule of thumb, the mere
fact that you may be uncertain and questioning about your role probably places
you in that not-so-rare category that I like to call “normal.” Most people are
perfectly comfortable assuming either role, depending on the needs and
appropriateness of the given situation. A hard-wired or true Dominant knows no
other way to be, and is often profoundly uncomfortable assuming the role of a
submissive, under any circumstances. Similarly, a hard-wired or true
submissive would sooner cut off her right arm than have to take on a dominant
role. If neither of those reactions sounds very familiar to you, then you’re
probably like most people, meaning you fall somewhere between those two
extremes.
If BDSM is a growing sexual fascination for you, or simply an opportunity for
you and your partner to try something new and exciting, that’s perfectly okay.
You can learn a lot from this book, and adopting some BDSM interests and
techniques can definitely be a healthy and deliciously kinky way to spice up
what otherwise might be a pretty routine sex life. It is important, however, to
know the difference between a kink and a lifestyle, and to be honest about that
with your potential partners.
The Domination/submission lifestyle, like any other lifestyle choice, can be a
complex yet rewarding way to live if you and your potential partner(s) are
guided by similar values, follow familiar protocols, and share the same vision.
Conversely, your experience with the lifestyle can end up being a train wreck if
you fail to take inventory of your own capacity to live in a D/s relationship, as
well as your tolerance levels for the great diversity of expression you’ll
encounter from others in this lifestyle.
A Domination/submission relationship can be as comforting as a warm blanket
or as frightening as an unexpected encounter with a knife-wielding stranger in a
dark alley. It can be uplifting and empowering, or it can be abusive and
dangerous. It can bring great joy into your life, or tremendous sadness.
Ultimately, it will be whatever you and your partner make of it. If you fail, it
won’t be because there is something wrong with the lifestyle. It will be because
you were inadequately prepared to live it.