Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )
Feel free to consider any response that actually involves a word that startswith the letter D as acceptable.Sometimes, it is the perplexing and often amusing questions that someone asksin these online chat rooms that expose him as a phony. The following is a list ofactual questions that have been posed to me by allegedly “highly experienced”online Masters and Mistresses who claimed to have years and years of BDSMexperience. Seriously, I couldn’t make this stuff up:· Do your slaves let you have sex with them? I was just wondering.· How do you keep your slaves from running away? I’m having a bit ofa problem with that.· Would it be easier to get more slaves if I created second account as asub and collared myself?· How many slaves do you have? I have 23. More, if you count the oneswhose names I don’t remember.· All my slaves turn out to be, like, thirteen years old. What am I doingwrong?· I really want to be a real-life Master. Real-life Masters have lots andlots of sex, right? How much sex, exactly, are we talking about, here?· How do you get your submissives to respect you? This is way harderthan I thought it would be.· Do you practice forced collaring?Obviously, it’s not particularly difficult to separate the wheat from the chaff inthese kinds of conversations. The only real issue becomes, how do you handle aphony once he or she is exposed? Do you tell the person how you tripped himup? If you do, then the imposter simply chalks it up as a lesson learned, andtweaks his performance to better deceive the next person who comes along. Ifyou don’t, you are often left with the irksome feeling that you’ve allowedsomeone to think he has gotten away with deceiving you.Sometimes, the best solution is to simply inform the individual that you weren’tfooled. Then, if you have the power to do so, boot and ban.
ChallengesDespite all of the apparent pessimism you’ve thus far been bombarded with inthis chapter, online BDSM relationships actually do happen, and sometimes,even flourish. The keys to having a successful online BDSM relationshipgenerally come down to the following threefactors: Determining beforehand where the line is that separates your virtualBDSM life from your real-world life, deciding for yourself the importance of thereality behind the avatars, and asking yourself, “Why am I doing this, and whereis it going?” The answers tothese three questions aren’t easy, nor should they be. In fact, if one or more ofthe questions seems easy for you, then I would suggest that you’ve probablyseriously underestimated the complexity andgravity of the issues involved.The wildcard that is often overlooked when it comes to online relationships ingeneral, and online BDSM relationships inparticular, is the role that our emotions play in our perceptions and decisionmaking.We often go into these things with one set of expectations, only todiscover - after we have fallen in love - that a completely different set ofexpectations has suddenly appeared out of nowhere and taken precedence. Ifeither partner is unprepared for it when that happens, it can not only bepotentially devastating to the onlinerelationship, but it can lead to significant problems in their real-lives, as well.
- Page 68 and 69: a better partner. This usually cons
- Page 70 and 71: My Two Cents on SubmissionJade simp
- Page 72 and 73: Charlotte, the Spider: I'm versatil
- Page 74 and 75: the two extremes of Dominant and su
- Page 77 and 78: IntrospectionHow do you know if you
- Page 79 and 80: experience to speak of and just a f
- Page 81 and 82: enjoyed practically everything she
- Page 83 and 84: Sue, but submissive to Diane. His k
- Page 85 and 86: I have a very good friend named Ann
- Page 87 and 88: Chapter 4: The PrimalWhat is a Prim
- Page 89 and 90: Michael Makai’s PRIMAAL AnalysisP
- Page 91 and 92: o Award yourself an extra point if
- Page 93 and 94: How Primal Are You?0 to 15:You are
- Page 95 and 96: Primal PreferencesNow that we’ve
- Page 97 and 98: covered-in-birthday-cake kind of se
- Page 99 and 100: encounters. When Furries gather in
- Page 101 and 102: Primal ScenesA primal scene is not
- Page 103 and 104: She drew back for a split second, a
- Page 105 and 106: Primal InstinctsIn the final analys
- Page 107 and 108: We went back to her house, where we
- Page 109 and 110: Chapter 5: Online BDSM Relationship
- Page 111 and 112: CompuServe chat became available, i
- Page 113 and 114: worlds? The process of choosing an
- Page 115 and 116: sort. There’s no shame in admitti
- Page 117: the online BDSM lifestyle, but they
- Page 121 and 122: should suffice to know that if thes
- Page 123 and 124: · The percentage of vanilla online
- Page 125 and 126: them. An IP address usually looks s
- Page 127 and 128: Where Is It Going?Major League Base
- Page 129 and 130: by a radioactive mule.” (Hat tip
- Page 131 and 132: people discover the utility of cert
- Page 133 and 134: supposed neighborhood. If someone t
- Page 135 and 136: The safety advantage of online BDSM
- Page 137 and 138: come back. It’s that much of a sh
- Page 139 and 140: Chapter 6: The CollarWhat is a coll
- Page 141 and 142: adornments such as rhinestones or m
- Page 143 and 144: Types of CollarsA collar represents
- Page 145 and 146: consideration are also collars of p
- Page 147 and 148: vulnerable in BDSM environments tha
- Page 149 and 150: consideration involves money or mer
- Page 151 and 152: possibly be wrong with that? Well,
- Page 153 and 154: submissive the ability to choose wh
- Page 155 and 156: Your Collar, Your CommitmentIn this
- Page 157 and 158: considered a yin and yang metaphor,
- Page 159 and 160: Chapter 7: The Gorean WayThere are
- Page 161 and 162: Gor novels from 1967 through the mi
- Page 163 and 164: What is a Gorean?Devotees of the
- Page 165 and 166: What Do Goreans Really Believe?If w
- Page 167 and 168: The Gorean SlaveGorean slaves are c
Feel free to consider any response that actually involves a word that starts
with the letter D as acceptable.
Sometimes, it is the perplexing and often amusing questions that someone asks
in these online chat rooms that expose him as a phony. The following is a list of
actual questions that have been posed to me by allegedly “highly experienced”
online Masters and Mistresses who claimed to have years and years of BDSM
experience. Seriously, I couldn’t make this stuff up:
· Do your slaves let you have sex with them? I was just wondering.
· How do you keep your slaves from running away? I’m having a bit of
a problem with that.
· Would it be easier to get more slaves if I created second account as a
sub and collared myself?
· How many slaves do you have? I have 23. More, if you count the ones
whose names I don’t remember.
· All my slaves turn out to be, like, thirteen years old. What am I doing
wrong?
· I really want to be a real-life Master. Real-life Masters have lots and
lots of sex, right? How much sex, exactly, are we talking about, here?
· How do you get your submissives to respect you? This is way harder
than I thought it would be.
· Do you practice forced collaring?
Obviously, it’s not particularly difficult to separate the wheat from the chaff in
these kinds of conversations. The only real issue becomes, how do you handle a
phony once he or she is exposed? Do you tell the person how you tripped him
up? If you do, then the imposter simply chalks it up as a lesson learned, and
tweaks his performance to better deceive the next person who comes along. If
you don’t, you are often left with the irksome feeling that you’ve allowed
someone to think he has gotten away with deceiving you.
Sometimes, the best solution is to simply inform the individual that you weren’t
fooled. Then, if you have the power to do so, boot and ban.
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