Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

the online BDSM lifestyle, but they can’t discuss knowledge of the lifestyle that
they don’t have. Their ignorance of the lifestyle very quickly becomes apparent
to anyone who is paying attention. A skilled interviewer, whether Dominant or
submissive, can usually expose the phonies by asking simple, polite questions in
a particular way. The questions should be carefully worded to be innocuously
inoffensive to authentic members of the online BDSM lifestyle, yet exceedingly
difficult for anyone pretending to be something that he is not.
Here are just a few examples:
· Never ask, “Are you a Dom or a sub?” This allows a clueless imposter
to simply pick one of the above. Instead, ask, “Are you a switch?” A
knowledgeable person will typically respond with one of the following:
No, I am a Dominant. No, I am a submissive. Or, Yes, I am! A phony
will invariably be dumbfounded for a moment and ask, “What’s a
switch?”
· Always ask, “How long have you been in the lifestyle?” Don’t refer to
it as the BDSM lifestyle. Anyone who is actually in the lifestyle will
naturally assume you mean the BDSM lifestyle. A phony, even as he or
she sits in a slave market, will often inanely respond with, “What
lifestyle?” While you’re at it, check his answer against his supposed age.
A twenty-year-old who claims to have been in the lifestyle for fifteen years
is not only a liar, he’s also a math-challenged moron.
· Try asking a philosophical question - perhaps something like, “Do you
think D/s is a matter of who you are, or what you do?” A knowledgeable
person will enjoy a chance to give his opinion on the subject, and you may
even gain some insight from his response. A phony will ask, “What’s
D/s?”
· Ask questions of preference: “What’s your favorite kind of scene?”
It’s a simple question for someone in the lifestyle – even for those who
may be very new, or may be limited exclusively to the online lifestyle. A
phony, however, will often be completely unfamiliar with the way the
word is used in this culture, and will typically respond with, “What do you
mean by scene?”
· Consider asking a trivia type of question: “We’re having a
disagreement about what the D in BDSM stands for. What do you think?”