Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

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ridiculous caricature of what some nerdy developer in Taiwan imagines happensduring BDSM sex. What is typically your first clue that the animator is vanilla?Apparently their view of BDSM sex involves lots of crying, and no orgasms.Go figure.It also seems to consist almost exclusively of tying people to beds and/or givingspankings. Beyond those two activities, it’s a virtual fetish wasteland.Suspensions? Nope. Edge play? Nope. Fire play? Nope. Violet wands, breathplay, anal play, breast flogging, or pussy spankings? No, no, no, no, and noteven anything close. Those poor Taiwanese animators really need to get outmore.One of the unique features of the online BDSM culture that you’ll encounter inmany virtual worlds is the slave market. Slave markets exist almost exclusivelyin BDSM chat rooms for the simple reason that they would be impractical orillegal anywhere else. They typically consist of chat rooms with kneelingpillows,upon which hopeful, unowned slaves kneel and wait to be interviewedby Dominants who imperiously sit on nearby thrones. The rooms are calledmarkets, even though no one buys – or even rents – anything, or anyone. Manyof these so-called slave markets require visitors to announce their “status” to theexisting occupants of the room and to request permission to enter. This statustheoretically consists of whether you’re a Dominant, submissive or switch,whether you are owned or unowned, and what – if anything - you happen to beseeking. An example might sound something like this: “I am an unownedsubmissive seeking a Mistress. May I enter?” Not all slave markets requiresuch formality, but when in doubt, it is usually best to err on the side of highprotocol.Upon being granted permission to enter, Dominants should inquire as to whichseats or thrones are appropriate to sit on. Submissives should assume thatkneeling-pillows are their only seating option, though there may be certainpillows that are reserved for moderators or chat room regulars. If the seatingarrangement consists of something other than thrones and pillows, it’s probablya good idea to ask the current occupants of the room where you should sit.You may be asked to tell the other people in the room a little about yourself;actually knowing how to respond to this question can go a long way towardsestablishing your credibility and making new friends. The absolute worst thingyou can do is attempt to bluff your way through an initial conversation of this
sort. There’s no shame in admitting you don’t know much about the lifestyle, aslong as you are open and honest about it. Misrepresenting your experience andknowledge is considered not only extremely bad form, but can be emotionallydevastating to your potential partners and potentially dangerous to everyoneinvolved.
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DOMINATION & SUBMISSION:THE BDSMREL
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DedicationThis book is for the peop
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Primal InstinctsMy Two Cents on Pri
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My Two Cents on Sex, Love, and BDSM
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PREFACE
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getting just a little ahead of your
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That is why you should fully unders
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTSI want to express my
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Chapter 1: The DominantWhat is a Do
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great majority of humanity.A very t
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IntrospectionDo you like being told
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more focused on facts than feelings
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also the not-so-insignificant matte
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equal partnership between two peopl
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If you are polyamorous, are youpoly
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Types of DominantsThere are many di
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subculture within the D/s lifestyle
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person’s anus. Yes, there really
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life to keep twenty-seven angry sla
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from such riff-raff? He knows all o
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was me - or more accurately, my own
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crying out, “Geez, Sir Knight! No
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Chapter 2: The SubmissiveWhat is a
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IntrospectionIf you are someone who
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I stated previously, most people ca
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behavior pleases her mate great, bu
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at the beginning of any relationshi
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her Dominant to have an orgasm - an
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Types of SubmissivesIf you are in t
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also requires us to believe that we
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hard - really hard.Theoretically, k
Page 64 and 65: accomplished by dinner time. This c
Page 66 and 67: categories: kittens, puppies, and p
Page 68 and 69: a better partner. This usually cons
Page 70 and 71: My Two Cents on SubmissionJade simp
Page 72 and 73: Charlotte, the Spider: I'm versatil
Page 74 and 75: the two extremes of Dominant and su
Page 77 and 78: IntrospectionHow do you know if you
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Page 81 and 82: enjoyed practically everything she
Page 83 and 84: Sue, but submissive to Diane. His k
Page 85 and 86: I have a very good friend named Ann
Page 87 and 88: Chapter 4: The PrimalWhat is a Prim
Page 89 and 90: Michael Makai’s PRIMAAL AnalysisP
Page 91 and 92: o Award yourself an extra point if
Page 93 and 94: How Primal Are You?0 to 15:You are
Page 95 and 96: Primal PreferencesNow that we’ve
Page 97 and 98: covered-in-birthday-cake kind of se
Page 99 and 100: encounters. When Furries gather in
Page 101 and 102: Primal ScenesA primal scene is not
Page 103 and 104: She drew back for a split second, a
Page 105 and 106: Primal InstinctsIn the final analys
Page 107 and 108: We went back to her house, where we
Page 109 and 110: Chapter 5: Online BDSM Relationship
Page 111 and 112: CompuServe chat became available, i
Page 113: worlds? The process of choosing an
Page 117 and 118: the online BDSM lifestyle, but they
Page 119 and 120: ChallengesDespite all of the appare
Page 121 and 122: should suffice to know that if thes
Page 123 and 124: · The percentage of vanilla online
Page 125 and 126: them. An IP address usually looks s
Page 127 and 128: Where Is It Going?Major League Base
Page 129 and 130: by a radioactive mule.” (Hat tip
Page 131 and 132: people discover the utility of cert
Page 133 and 134: supposed neighborhood. If someone t
Page 135 and 136: The safety advantage of online BDSM
Page 137 and 138: come back. It’s that much of a sh
Page 139 and 140: Chapter 6: The CollarWhat is a coll
Page 141 and 142: adornments such as rhinestones or m
Page 143 and 144: Types of CollarsA collar represents
Page 145 and 146: consideration are also collars of p
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Page 149 and 150: consideration involves money or mer
Page 151 and 152: possibly be wrong with that? Well,
Page 153 and 154: submissive the ability to choose wh
Page 155 and 156: Your Collar, Your CommitmentIn this
Page 157 and 158: considered a yin and yang metaphor,
Page 159 and 160: Chapter 7: The Gorean WayThere are
Page 161 and 162: Gor novels from 1967 through the mi
Page 163 and 164: What is a Gorean?Devotees of the
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What Do Goreans Really Believe?If w
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The Gorean SlaveGorean slaves are c
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by raiding parties. They refer to t
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"Even though she had then been turn
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Rent Slave. A rent slave is a slave
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Categories of CollarsGorean merchan
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Coil CollarA coil collar is constru
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within, will be a message." (John N
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occasions, the sleeve collar may be
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ceremonies described by Norman in h
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Now, with his two hands, he held th
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Gor in Real World RelationshipsCont
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My Two Cents on GorI admit it. I’
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“The meeting of two personalities
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with a submissive. He can choose to
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and I was serving in the Army, stat
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inclined to be as sympathetic as I
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True, the odds of that person being
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few days. Allot yourselves plenty o
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it and drive across it slowly and d
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asking yourselves is, is this the b
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First Meetings: Sheila’s StoryWhe
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were invariably ignored. John Edwar
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aka Slavemaster, lived with his wif
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but you also need to be able to tru
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important phone numbers and having
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The article examined the difference
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where you want your relationship to
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think I can do that.”Three days l
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Chapter 9: BDSM Toys & SafetyTypica
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It is not uncommon for some people
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Types of BDSM Toys & EquipmentWe co
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of his or her extremities for loss
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SleevesA BDSM sleeve is typically a
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order to escape smoke or fire.Harne
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Straps are often used in lieu of ro
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thing they all have in common is th
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plugs may also be susceptible to cr
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Impact GearBDSM impact gear is used
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the construction of paddles, but th
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these functions include sensation,
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strike, which can be far more probl
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has the potential to cause serious
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sensations. A significant part of t
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Piercing, Scarification & BrandingA
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bacterial soap, and use a fingernai
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was originally designed to be used
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person, but if you or your subject
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mask when engaging in this sort of
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the distant presence of an unfamili
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emergency signal that can be commun
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patented and trademarked product of
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physical, psychological, and sexual
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that is extremely low amperage, but
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EMS stands for Electrical Muscle St
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body part the electrical current fl
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torsion is another serious risk tha
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subject. Anyone who has ever gotten
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When it comes to safety, irritants
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cotton swab on a wooden stick, simi
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Cupping should be avoided by people
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Hot WaxHot wax play isn’t just fo
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your artistic talents, or just enjo
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reigns, plumes, harnesses, spurs, a
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inexpensive, and may even already b
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BDSM FurnitureBDSM furniture is a t
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bottom’s buttocks prominently and
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used to restrain the hands and neck
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suddenly discover a phobia of being
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My Two Cents on BDSM ToysThe year w
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“I refuse to join any club that w
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names, to draw attention to this br
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which often consist of families wit
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At best, you’ll embarrass yoursel
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makes youuncomfortable, turn your a
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you should resist the temptation to
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concerned.Don’t use it as a place
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revisiting it here, in our discussi
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furnishings, such as racks, platfor
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their own towel to sit on if they
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to separate the wheat from the chaf
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lifestyle-friendly businesses.If do
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fact, exactly what he did.In a path
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Chapter 11: Sex, Love, D/s, & BDSMP
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see naked, anyway.”“Apparently,
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Mistaking Love for BDSMPeople confu
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porn, and Natalie promised to keep
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well.It is unfortunate that Ian and
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“This is crazy; seriously crazy!
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Mark pondered her words and her emo
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I think D/s is sexy.My Two Cents on
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“The more you love, the more you
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for their mother, or for that matte
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should be able to marry whomever th
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Francisco area from 1971 until 1991
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Attention.It’s often easy to assu
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Potential Pitfalls of a Poly Relati
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· Don’t introduce new partners i
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members of the household before you
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Even positive changes can result in
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We don’t feel the need to drop on
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of the group are considered to be m
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Polyfuckery. A derisive term used t
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It seriously just kills me that I s
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Chapter 13: D/s, BDSM, & ReligionIt
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D/s and Judaism: Could Lead to Mixe
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D/s and Islam: Keep Your Clothes On
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haram under Islamic law. For exampl
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Tantric Buddhism involves harnessin
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that would today be considered typi
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own personal spirituality. Even so,
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United States, one can find a wide
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without sex, it’s relatively comm
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is subject unto Christ, so let the
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Another of Jesus’ unconventional
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Filling a VoidI wrote this chapter
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I think religion in general has unf
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Chapter 14: What Could Possibly Go
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Possible insights ahead. Use ‘em,
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dysfunctional D/s relationships tha
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understand what she’s done wrong
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lifestyle, I could easily adopt a t
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and submissives, and even went into
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such cases certainly favors a train
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betrayed by the little dots at the
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A folk tale that is often used to i
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Role reversal is characterized by a
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church, the community at large, or
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from now? Some states have recently
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“No, Dad.” I replied, “Techni
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such statements, but this woman was
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and experiences, much less tell you
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Avoiding the Train WreckIt may seem
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Thank you so much!I thought about i
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Chapter 15: Rainbows & UnicornsThis
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not as much of a pervert as you mig
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My Two Cents on HappinessGuess what
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“When I use a word,” Humpty Dum
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scenarios involving coercion, humil
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the law typically takes a dim view
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a submissive, passive, receiving or
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Torture)Catheterization. Catheteriz
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revoked. Alternately, a submissive
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submissive. A day collar may consis
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Eloctrostimulation. (See Electricit
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Flogger. A small hand-held whip wit
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activity with a person of the oppos
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any kind of rape fantasy does not m
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Hair Pulling. Refers to being sexua
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Injection Play. Injection play refe
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refuse, subject to circumstances, p
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another on aspects of the D/s or BD
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play, Spanking)Painslut. The painsl
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consider such activity as “intima
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trait, while furryism is more a mat
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ramifications. This sort of play is
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(See also: BDSM, Masochism, Sadisti
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in it, since this is an activity th
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another’s, and sanity can be hard
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general categories. BDSM Switches a
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Torture. Torture refers to any sust
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role playing as pet and veterinaria
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Appendix B: Silly Shit Mike Makai S
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much else matters. No one asks why
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Appendix C: About the AuthorMichael
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