Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

She drew back for a split second, and then clocked me hard right on the nose
with her fist. I staggered and almost went down, but figured I’d take her down
with me, so I tackled her to the grass, where we wrestled and I bled all over her
until the other people on the patio pried us apart and positioned themselves
between us.
I stood there, bleeding from my jaw and my nose while she, covered in my blood,
paced like an angry feral cat that had been swung around by its tail. Someone
mentioned calling the police, and we both instantly and simultaneously said,
“No!” She assured them further, saying, “It wasn’t a fight... it was...” She
paused, and I jumped in to finish her sentence. “Foreplay,” I said. They
laughed. We laughed. And then we went to my place for sex.”
It isn’t always simply the unpredictability of a primal scene that can sometimes
make it problematic. When I asked my friend ShadowCat, a twenty-two-yearold
Primal switch who leans heavily dominant, whether she usually sought out
other Primals as potential partners, she surprised me with an unexpected
response. She said that she typically did not prefer other Primals, and explained
why:
“Being with other Primals can actually be kind of dangerous for someone like
me. I’m a woman, a Primal, and I’m usually a Dominant. But Primals don’t
care about what you usually are; they make up their own minds about your
position in the pecking order. Many just automatically assume that if you’re a
woman, that there must be a submissive buried deep down inside there,
somewhere. They figure all they have to do is beat me into submission to bring
it out. Don’t get me wrong - I like my sex rough, but I don’t want to end up in
the hospital, either. Some of these guys just can’t get it into their heads that I’m
very dominant. Their instincts keep telling them that if they just try a little
harder, take the violence up just one more notch, that I’ll submit. But I don’t
and, sometimes, they just don’t know when to quit. That usually doesn’t end
well.”
Primal scenes and other intimate primal encounters always have the potential to
be simultaneously exciting and terrifying; erotic and dangerous. A Primal’s
instincts can typically do a wonderful job of telling him who to play with and
how to play, but may not always be adequate at telling them how far is too far,
and when to stop.