2020 Optimal Living Magazine Winter Issue
Tis the season to count our blessings and salute the selfless work of Allison James-Frison, Founder of Girls; Live, Love, Laugh! You will also gain valuable homeschooling tips to thrive in this pandemic through "I Have Three Daughters, Inc" founders. Plus, we are excited to share the opportunity to give generously to children for the holiday season through our new monthly planners and homeschool planner products! Don't miss your chance to be inspired and uplifted through our new Live, Love, Laugh Challenge! Stay Safe, Wear Your Mask & Be Grateful in all things! Enjoy!
Tis the season to count our blessings and salute the selfless work of Allison James-Frison, Founder of Girls; Live, Love, Laugh! You will also gain valuable homeschooling tips to thrive in this pandemic through "I Have Three Daughters, Inc" founders. Plus, we are excited to share the opportunity to give generously to children for the holiday season through our new monthly planners and homeschool planner products! Don't miss your chance to be inspired and uplifted through our new Live, Love, Laugh Challenge! Stay Safe, Wear Your Mask & Be Grateful in all things! Enjoy!
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Diamond Life
Virtual Tea &
Ebook products
How I Met &
Married My
Man of God
How One Power
Couple Mastered the
Art of Homeschooling
3 Amazing Daughters
Join the
30 Day Live,
Love, Laugh,
Challenge!
5 Lessons Learned From
THE LIFE &
LEGACY OF
CHADWICK
BOSEMAN
much
more
ALLISON JAMES-FRISON
LEADING BRILLIANT GIRLS OF NEWARK,
NJ IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC
Our Staff
Editor-in-Chief
Tanisha H. Shaw
Associate Editor
Mark McDonald
Contributors
Mishell Ellis
Pat Evans
Madinah James
Christoph Jenkins
Candace Thornley
Alana Stephens
Table of Contents
05 Publisher’s Perspective
06 Diamond Life Reflection
08 If I Could Write a Note to My
Younger Self
10 We Salute Allison James - Frison
11 I Have Three Daughters
Homeschooling Tips
13 How I Met & Married My Man of God
15 Chastity Life & Style
18 Keep It Simple Home Dêcor
19 Spices of Life Recipes
22 A Time of Intercession
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Copyright © 2020 by Optimal Living Magazine
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THE PUBLISHER’S PERSPECTIVE
Our lives are shaped
by the choices we make
every single day...
W
hen I was 5 years old, I looked up at the sky and had my first
conversation with God. At the time, I was not pleased with my
living conditions, and it made me determined to work hard to
create a better life for myself. I simply said, “God this isn’t for me.
When I grow up I’m going to be somebody great. I am not meant
to live in lack.” From that point on, I worked hard and made
choices based on where I wanted my life to go.
If I wanted to get out of poverty, I had to stay away from the wrong crowd,
study hard, open myself up to different academic experiences, get my
education and not get pregnant before my time. This meant that I had to
say “no” to anything or anybody that was going to keep me from living the
“diamond” life of my dreams.
In spite of it all, we rise, fall, live and we learn. I started Optimal Living Magazine
at the point of my own personal recession. Producing Optimal Living has been
a source of personal healing, growth and revelation on many levels. I’ve shared
life changing principles and stories that have propelled myself and thousands
our precious readers forward, since 2008. Along the way, I realized some things
I would do differently financially, in relationships and in business, if I would
have known what I know today. Now, I am taking the gifts, talents, resources
and life lessons God has given me to launch my first podcast, “Diamond Life
Producers”. Starting November 14th, tune in every Saturday at 3pm to discover
new ways to create the diamond life of your dreams and how to protect it
through the ups and downs of life @ bit.ly/diamondlifepodcast.
Build it, Bless
Others, Use
Wisdom &
Protect It.
Then, I cordially invite you to our “Diamond Life Virtual Tea”. . I am SUPER
excited to bless you with all the phenomenal events planned. Enjoy a free
digital magazine and check out our new Diamond Life Monthly Planner,
Homeschool Planners and Prayer Journal Ebooks to get your mind right and
prepared for the year ahead. And be sure to visit our website to find out how to
give 30% of your ebook purchase to the organization of your choice.
Loving you always,
Tanisha H. Shaw
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief
publisher@optimal-livingmagazine.com
Walk in His Peace!
Follow Me on @Olmagazine
Follow Me on optimallivingmag
Follow Me on optimallivingpublisher
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MY DIAMOND LIFE REFLECTION
LESSONS
LEARNED FROM
THE LIFE & LEGACY
OF CHADWICK
BOSEMAN
By Tanisha H. Shaw
If you only had 4 years left to live,
where would you go, what would
you do, what message would you
leave the world about your God, your
cause and your legacy? Chadwick
Boseman didn’t pass in vain for me.
I’m going to live this life like it’s golden.
I’m going to get back into the presence
of God daily, and discover “ALL” He has
for me and my family. I’m going to try
my best to love ❤ more people, even
when their own brokenness makes
it impossible. I’m going to find ways
to be more present each day that I
live. I’m not doing anything that isn’t
authentic, or against my personal
manifesto. I’m going to put so much
“funk”, confidence, humility, prayer,
love, faith and greatness into my
child that generations to come will be
grateful they had an opportunity to
meet her, and know she came from
good stock. I’m going to show my
love, respect and appreciation to my
husband for giving me time, space
and freedom to express my gifts and
talents in any way I feel led. Finally, I’m
not leaving this world without being
empty; nah, not going to be able to do
it, and neither should you.
Tanisha H. Shaw
Editor. Publisher. Diamond Life Producer
“Build it, Bless Others & Protect It.”
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If I Could Write a Note To
MY YOUNGER SELF....
By Madinah N. James
If I could write a note to my younger self,
there are so many different things that I
would tell her!! I would definitely tell her
to focus on being true to herself and her core
beliefs, not compromising in any capacity
and following her instincts. I would advise her
to spend more time cultivating her gifts and
talents at an earlier age and not deviating
from her ordained path because she second
guessed herself, or because life got rough. I
would tell her to trust herself more and not
always listen to other people’s opinions,
perspectives or viewpoints.
At the end of the day, we are all human and
everyone goes through real life challenges
and experiences from various perspectives,
and what works for everyone else doesn’t
necessarily work for you.
You need to have the capacity necessary to
effectively navigate through YOUR own journey
and do what you feel works best for YOU.
I definitely wish that I had a more in-tune
relationship with God and the Holy Spirit
when I was younger. Having that close bond
and dialogue really allows you to have
better discernment, clarity and insight while
navigating through the journey of life.
When you’re able to decipher that guiding
voice, you are able to make better decisions
effectively from a spiritual perspective vs. a
carnal perspective, thus saving yourself a lot of
trouble, aggravation and potential
heartbreak. There are definitely some personal
and professional relationships that I would have
never gotten involved in, due to all of those
factors alone.
I think as young ladies mature and evolve, they
experience insecurity and not fully believing
in themselves, which is normal to some extent
as they grow throughout different life stages
and cycles. They may tend to shrink and not
walk completely in the fullness of themselves
because a lot of times society and life
experiences dictate otherwise. However, I would
say to them, “stay true to yourself always.”
YOU know who YOU are and although you may
not be fully aware of your purpose yet, you
know that God has an ordained destiny for you
and has deposited some precious gems and
jewels inside of you. No matter what happens,
or what life may throw your way, always listen
to that still, inner voice, it will never guide you
wrong.
Madinah N. James
Media Consultant
CEO of MNJ Media Consulting
Madinah is a professional media connoisseur with extensive experience
in television, production and print media. Madinah has worked with
renowned domestic/international outlets and organizations such as
CNN, MSNBC, Harper’s Bazaar Arabia, The Huffington Post, Thrive
Global, Mercedes-Benz, New York Fashion Week, The United Nations,
etc. Madinah is the CEO of MNJ Media Consulting Corporation, a fullservice
media relations company and can be reached via her website
at: http://linktr.ee/madinahnjames
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We Salute Allison James-Frison, Founder of Girls; Live, Love, Laugh, Inc.,
SELFLESSLY LEADING SOME OF NEWARK
NJ’S MOST BRILLIANT MINDS IN THE
MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC
By Tanisha H. Shaw
Allison James- Frison is the Founder of
Girls; Live, Love, Laugh Inc., a 501(c)3
nonprofit mentoring program for
girls from the inner city of Newark, NJ, and
neighboring communities, ages 6-15 years
old. Her organization was established on
September 16, 2009 with an objective to
create a culture for girls to live, love and
laugh out loud, while in their pursuit of
excellence, in the Newark NJ metropolitan
area.
“I was inspired to start Girls; Live, Love,
Laugh Inc, because of the personal
adversities I had endured as a young
girl, born and raised in Newark Housing
Authority, of the Stella Wright Projects.
I experienced a great deal of trauma,
which commenced at nine years old.
I am a survivor of child sexual abuse,
homelessness, gun violence and domestic
violence. My father died when I was
seventeen years old. He was a victim of
domestic violence by his girlfriend at
the time. He and my mom had parted
ways. My mom lost a long-time battle of
diabetes, when I was twenty-four years
old, and my former fiance was shot and
killed, when I was thirty years old, due
to street violence. In 2005, one of my
siblings was shot in the head, which left
him paralyzed on one side and blind in
one eye.”
“Because of my experiences in life, I
wanted to help girls overcome obstacles
that they may encounter. When I was
at the lowest point in my life, I spoke to
God and he spoke back to me. He placed
it on my heart to create a community
organization, which would be centered
around girls living in the inner city of
Newark. The mission was simply to help
girls overcome obstacles they may endure.
It is embedded in my soul to not allow girls
to hurt alone. or silence their voices, nor
to let life get the best of them. We want
them to be the best version of themselves.
Therefore, Girls, Live, Love, Laugh, Inc, is
available to help them navigate their way
through life’s trials and tribulations. “
Girls; Live, Love, Laugh Inc, offers
impactful workshops to assist girls in
becoming tomorrow’s leaders in the areas
of career exploration, academic success,
socialization skills and healthy behavior.
The organization also offers social media
branding and they are committed to civic
engagement.
Allison James-Frasier says, “As a civic
leader, the most challenging thing that I
must face in regard to trying to keep the
girls and parents uplifted and inspired
is, keeping the girls focused on their
academics. With so many distractions
around them, they could easily become
a victim of the negativity in society. We
create new ideas to capture their interest,
which encourages them to put down their
cellphones and participate in lesson plans
we scheduled for Saturdays. As for the
parents, it’s keeping them motivated to
want more and a better way of life for their
daughters. It’s really good to know, the
parents trust me with their girls to travel
wherever this journey takes us and to
believe in the mission or the organization.
The world is an oyster and the challenges
are what to do next for them, better than
the last adventure. We thrive on the hopes
of our girls never growing out of it.
My prayer for every girl I meet is,
Proverbs 22: 6:
“Train up a child in the way he should
go; and when he is old, he will not depart
from it.” My prayer is that whatever they
discovered from this organization, it will
never depart from them.
For more information about this life
changing community organization, visit:
www.girlslivelovelaugh.org .
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How One Power Couple Mastered the Art of
Homeschooling 3
Amazing Daughters
By Christoph Jenkins
Who would have thought that
March 2020 would end our
everyday “normal” due to
COVID-19. Navigating our new normal
has not been without its challenges. We
have three small girls, 5 and under, if
that is not a challenge in and of itself,
let’s also throw a pandemic on top of it.
When we pulled the girls from school in
March 2020, we had already made the
decision that they would be home with
us indefinitely. Homeschooling our girls
was a conversation we had not too long
before. While we are grateful that our
children are young enough that they
were not impacted by the shift to virtual
learning, as a result of being in daycare,
we still understand that these years are
the stepping stones to laying a solid
educational foundation.
Managing the day to day of homeschool
for our girls has been difficult, as we
both work full-time jobs. Thankfully,
both of our positions are fully remote
(non-pandemic related).
To balance the many daily
responsibilities, we’ve created a
routine. As an example, we are adamant
about cultivating a healthy relationship
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with reading. It’s been difficult trying
to fit in reading lessons for all three
girls because they are all on different
reading levels. So, we came up with
a fun way to get them excited about
reading and to complement our daily
work schedules.
“Wake up and read” is our family
campaign where our girls literally wake
up, grab a book and read! Our oldest,
5, reads a book. Our middle child, 4,
practices her flashcards with Daddy.
Our youngest, 2, plays with her letters
and practices their sounds. Without
getting too deep into the science of brain
activity, it has been said that your first
20 minutes upon waking up can set you
up for success for that day. We choose
to use that time to fill our girls with new
words, sounds and images.
We believe it’s important to create
family values. We also believe that it’s
important to know your family has value.
Through the pandemic, we’ve taken the
opportunity to create a family business
surrounding our three daughters
called “I Have Three Daughters”. We
use the business as a means to teach
our girls about entrepreneurship and
building something from the ground up.
Additionally, we want to instill in them
that no matter their age, no dream or
idea is too small to accomplish.
I Have Three Daughters, LLC, focuses on
designing, developing and delivering
high quality reviews on children’s books,
toys and products. We wanted to create
a business that the kids could not only
be a part of, but have fun with as well.
What more could a kid ask for as they
are playing with toys, reading books and
testing out cool products. They have
a great time with the reviews, while
learning how a business operates and
appreciating the hard work that goes
into it.
Overall, we are enjoying our time
together as a family. We feel blessed
to be in a position to share these
experiences with our girls and we are
embracing the new changes in our
lives with gratitude. To follow us on our
journey, as we navigate life as parents
and entrepreneurs, you can find us on
Instagram @ IHaveThreeDaughters, or
www.IHaveThreeDaughters.com
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How I Met & Married
My Man Of God
He Found Me Lost in My Father’s Word
I
first met my husband Octave in 1994,
when we were both 15 years old. At the
time, we were both in high school, and
I was only interested in being his friend.
I just thought he was a “nice and smart”
guy. Every time he would look at me, he
would look at me in such a way that clearly
showed me that he was interested in being
more than friends; but, our relationship
never developed into anything more.
Our conversations on the phone in our
teen years tended to range from what we
wanted to be when we became adults,
to the dangers of eating pork (that
I totally didn’t buy at the
By Mrs. Mishell Ellis
time, but later saw he was right). His
conversations were quite intellectual. He
was different...even then. The following
year I transferred to another high school
and I never saw or spoke to him again.
Nevertheless, I always wondered what
happened to him.
So much took place over the 20 years we
had not seen or spoken to each other. I
made mistakes in my personal life, though
one was a blessing,
having my
daughter. I firmly believe that all of my
steps prepared me for being reunited with
him. I had to realize that it was not just
me in this life, it was my daughter too. She
deserves the best role model there is, in
my eyes, she can look up to and know how
a man should treat a woman.
There comes a time when a person has
to say enough is enough and needs to
take a step back and evaluate one’s self.
My “aha” moment happened in 2014. I let
go of what was slowly draining me and
focused more on pleasing God and
not myself. I went to church and
it felt so good! A load had been
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lifted and I felt free. I felt like it was time
to make a change. I could not afford to be
lukewarm with my walk with Him. When
the chance came to go back to where God
delivered me from almost one and a half
years earlier, His angels came and saved
me from making possibly the biggest
mistake of my life, just like He said He
would in Psalm 91:11.
A Woman’s Heart Should Be So
Lost in God That a Man Should
Go Through Him to Find Her…
In March 2015, Octave and I reconnected
and have been growing together
ever since. By this time, I had grown
spiritually and my discernment had
grown considerably too. From our first
conversation, I made it clear to him my
do’s and dont’s in a relationship. I spoke
with him about my faith in God and was
waiting for him to tell me how noble I was
and that he thinks what I am doing is cool
and that’s it. However, that night Octave
prayed with me. That night he shared that
he loves God just as much as I! I told him I
had a daughter, a few weeks later he sent
her a gift that she and I could work on
together. I cried tears of joy.
There are still men of God in the world and
there is actually one who cares about me
and my daughter. He made me an even
better person. He strengthened my faith
in God and encouraged me to get into His
Word more. I must admit, it did take me
awhile to trust that he was really genuine;
but, it was not long before he showed me
that his intentions were real.
How could this man with no children,
never been married, with a Master’s
Degree from Tulane School of Public
Health and Tropical Medicine and the
University of Arkansas Clinton School of
Public Service, and is close to earning a
PhD in Psychology want to be with me?
Granted, I have a Master’s of Science in
Nursing from Georgetown University, but
I have what some would call “baggage”.
Then I said to myself, I am a child of The
Most High, the Daughter of a King. Why
not?
We ladies pray to meet a good man, but
very seldom do we acknowledge him until
our spiritual eyes are opened by God who
allows for trials to take place that cut
and shape you into a precious diamond.
They say what doesn’t kill you, makes you
stronger, but it also changes you...in my
case for the better. It is at that point, He
WE LADIES PRAY TO MEET A GOOD MAN, BUT VERY
SELDOM DO WE ACKNOWLEDGE HIM UNTIL OUR
SPIRITUAL EYES ARE OPENED BY GOD WHO ALLOWS
FOR TRIALS TO TAKE PLACE THAT CUT AND SHAPE YOU
INTO A PRECIOUS DIAMOND. THEY SAY WHAT DOESN’T
KILL YOU, MAKES YOU STRONGER, BUT IT ALSO
CHANGES YOU...IN MY CASE FOR THE BETTER.
is ready to present you to His child that
he has had for you all along. His ways are
certainly not ours, but in the end what
God has planned can’t anyone take away,
no matter how many years it takes to
happen... and no matter what God allows
to take place to prepare you for what He
has for you.
I am so grateful to God for allowing
Octave to come into my (our) lives. He
has shown me what it looks like when a
man allows God to order his steps. He is a
great leader, a wonderful role model and
a loving man. He goes above and beyond
to show his love for me. He is a shining
reflection of God’s love for me. He gives
me peace. And, he deserves the best
version of me. Octave found me restored
and in the same condition I was in when
he initially went looking for me, lost in
the Word of God.
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KEEP IT SIMPLE
HOME DÊCOR
Decluttering Tools Can Take Your Home Workspace
In a chaotic world, nothing says “I can do
this” like a clutter free home and office
space. Here are a few tips and tools
to take your life and productivity to the
next level!
Productivity To the Next Level
By Pat Evans
• Use Google Calendar. Even in the midst
of the pandemic, we must keep up
with our schedules. A good app to use is
the Google Calendar. Within minutes of
using this app, you will be able to record
events. With the Google Calendar,
you can also create multiple folders in
which you can color code for easy
viewing and tracking. Google also offers
a host of other worthwhile apps for free.
• Use a Desk Organizer. Do you have
bills lingering throughout your home?
Invest in a desk organizer with multiple
dividers which will allow you to have
multiple items contained in one place.
By purchasing a 3-divider organizer,
you can store your bills along with
other things you use, such as writing
instruments and even file folders for
your everyday/weekly use. This is great
for small spaces.
• Scan All Items of Importance. If
you accumulate lots of paper in your
working space, now is the perfect
time to sort and scan anything of
importance. Sort the mail immediately,
as it comes. If you’re still receiving
paper correspondence through the
mail, start requesting to receive all bills
electronically. This will cut down on the
paper clutter and you can save to your
portable device for future reference.
• Use an Acrylic Makeup Organizer
for paperclips, post-its and other
miscellaneous items. Not only are these
trays stylish, but it’s the perfect look
for a well organized desk. This will help
keep your space organized and tidy.
• Organize for the Next Day. At the end
of the night before you turn in, make
sure you put things away for the next
day. This will allow you to feel refreshed
and ready to start your day.
Pat is the Owner & Founder of Pat’s World
Staging & Redesign, in Chester, Virginia.
She is a Certified Professional Home
Stager and Re-designer specializing in
Home Staging & Interior Decorating. Visit
her website for more home decor ideas @
www.patsworldstaging.com.
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CANDACE THORNLEY’S
SWEET POTATOES WITH
PECANS & MARSHMALLOW
Prep Time: 10 minutes • Cook Time: 65 minutes • Total Time: 75 minutes
INGREDIENTS
• 12 large sweet potatoes
• 3
/ 4
cup (11/2 sticks) unsalted butter
• 3
/ 4
cup light brown sugar
• 3
/ 4
cup all-purpose flour
• ¼ teaspoon ground cinnamon
• ¼ teaspoon salt
• 1 cup toasted pecan pieces
• 1 cup miniature marshmallows
PREPARATION
• Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
• Wash the sweet potatoes, scrubbing them well to remove any dirt.
With a fork, prick the sweet potatoes in a couple of spots and place
them on a sheet pan. Bake for about 45 minutes, or until a knife
inserted in the center goes in easily.
• In a large bowl, mix the butter, brown sugar, and flour together
until it’s crumbly-looking. Add the cinnamon, salt, pecans, and
marshmallows; fold the streusel topping together to combine.
• Slice the sweet potatoes lengthwise down the center and push the
ends towards the middle so it opens up. Stuff the sweet potatoes
generously with the streusel topping and return to the oven. Bake for
another 20 minutes, or until the topping is bubbly and brown.
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QUARANTINE TURKEY CHILLI
RECIPE (LOW SODIUM)
INGREDIENTS
• 2 teaspoons olive oil
• 1 yellow onion, chopped
• 3 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 medium red bell pepper, chopped
• 1 pound extra lean ground turkey or chicken (99%)
• 4 tablespoons chili powder* (I used McCormick chili powder)
• 2 teaspoons ground cumin 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 4 slices of jalapeño pepper
• ¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1 (28-ounce) can diced tomatoes or crushed tomatoes
• 1 ¼ cups chicken broth
• 1(15 oz) can dark red kidney beans, rinsed and drained
• 1 (15 oz) can sweet corn, rinsed and drained
• 1 teaspoon of Onion & garlic Mrs.Dash
• 2 tablespoons of Agave nectar For topping: cilantro, sour cream
DIRECTIONS
Cook turkey ground meat in a saucepan, and drain any excess water.
Combine all prepared ingredients below into a pot with the drained
turkey meat. Let everything cook for 40 minutes, then serve with sour
cream and chives dip. Add mild cheddar cheese, if desired.
SAY CHEESE! RIVER CITY
FLAME QUESO RECIPE
As much as we love the classic, we can’t help but get creative with
our recipes sometimes. So without further ado, here’s an incredibly
delicious new way to add a little kick to your Queso using River City
Flame Sauce and ground beef.
INGREDIENTS
• 1 – 16 oz. package
Velveeta
• 1 – 12 oz. jar of Salsa
• ¼ cup Chilli Richmond
Sauce
• 4 ounces cream cheese
• ¼ cup green onions,
chopped
• ½ jalapeno, seeded and
chopped
• ½ pound ground beef
• Tortilla Chips
DIRECTIONS:
Chop Velveeta into half-inch cubes and
place into a crock pot turned to high.
Add Salsa and cream cheese, heat until
smooth and creamy, stirring every
15 minutes. (Tip: No crock pot? No
problem. You can hack this recipe using
the microwave. Just heat Velveeta and
cream cheese on high for 2 minutes,
stir, then heat for an additional 30
seconds before stirring again. Repeat
this 30-second process until your cheese
is fully melted. Just be sure not to burn
it!) Add remaining ingredients. In a pan,
cook ground beef until done. Drain and
add to the Queso mixture. Enjoy it warm
or room temperature with Tortilla Chips!
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A Time Of
Intercession
Father God in the name Jesus, we come to you
thanking you for this day. We lift Your name on
high and come humbly before Your throne of
grace with thanksgiving in our hearts. We ask that
you bless, protect, and pour Your favor upon our
families, children, spouses, and friends.
Father, we pray for divine intervention in all areas
of our lives. Where there is sickness, we pray for
wellness; where there is brokenness, we pray for
wholeness; where there is grief, we pray for Your
comfort; where there is loss, we pray for restoration.
We pray that Your loving kindness will be felt
throughout this land. We pray that lost souls would
be restored to You from the east, west, north, and
south.
We pray for pastors, teachers, transit workers,
nurses, doctors, and other public servants working
tirelessly, often without adequate protection:
God, give them strength and wisdom every day.
Keep them from falling ill to Covid-19, or any other
ailments.
Father, we trust You with everything concerning us
and thank You that as we speak Your Word, it will
not return void. We thank You that wherever we go
and whatever we do, Your blessing, protection and
favor goes with us. The effectual fervent prayer of a
righteous person avails much. Therefore, we believe
we receive what we pray for right now. In Jesus’
name, Amen!
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