V18 N30

The Quicky Horoscopes
Your near future in two sentences by Molly Stone
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ZACK MULLOCK for MAYOR
Endorsed by former Mayor Bob Elwell,
former Mayor Tom Phelan, former 25-year
Volunteer Fire Chief Barney Dougherty and
Former Freeholder & Cape May Business
Owner Bob Matthews
Our town is in deep financial trouble. We are
bleeding money on unfinished projects.
We need Fiscal Responsibility and we need to
finish the projects we’ve started.
Zack Mullock will bring Fiscal Responsibility
and Project Management to City Hall.
ARIES You will discover the joy of the cheddar rice puff snack called Pirate’s
Booty. You will buy an extra large bag “for the kids.”
TAURUS: You will read French literature in a shawl-collared smoking
• Lafayette St Park supposed to cost taxpayers $0,
jacket while sipping aged Cognac. Just kidding — you will watch the new
season of The Bachelorette in your underwear while eating raw cookie dough
now costing $3 Million+
with a spoon.
GEMINI: You will adopt a dog from the Cape May County Animal Shelter.
• Soldiers & Sailors Park supposed to be $0,
You will name him Bilbo Waggins.
now $1 Million
CANCER: You will finally decide on a Halloween costume. You will dress
as the 57th step of the Cape May Lighthouse.
LEO: You will go on a candle-shopping spree in an attempt to capture all
• Water System Repairs Est: $29 Million
the soothing scents of fall. Your home will smell like a pumpkin pie-eating
contest taking place at an apple orchard surrounded by coffee shops serving
• Public Safety Building Est: $20+ Million
cinnamon lattes to women in patchouli perfume.
VIRGO: You will try the new curry burger from Exit Zero Filling Station.
• Library Project Est: $2 Million+
You will be in a euphoric mood for the rest of the week.
LIBRA: You will vote. You will receive good karma (good parking in Cape
Meanwhile, no road projects. No flood mitigation
May) in return for your civic duty.
SCORPIO: You will take up kite surfing on Higbee Beach and you will accidentally
projects. We need Zack to clean up the mess!
fly into North Cape May. You will land conveniently at Harpoons
on the Bay bar where you will order a Mai Tai before flying home.
SAGITTARIUS: You will get your flu shot from the CVS on Myrtle Avenue
in West Cape May. You will reward yourself with chocolate-covered pretzels
from the Fudge Kitchen and an IPA from Cape May Brewing Company.
CAPRICORN: You will remember to wear your sunscreen. Yes, even in the
offseason.
AQUARIUS: You will put on real pants for the first time since March. You
will immediately take them off and wonder aloud what the heck you were
thinking.
PISCES: You will buy a goldfish to keep you company as quarantine drags
on. You will name him Spot and you will appreciate his opinions on the
potential role of US diplomacy in the Armenian-Azerbaijan conflict.
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COMMUNITY FIRST!
Fiscal Responsibility « Project Management « Financial Planning
www.MullockForMayor.com
Paid for by Mullock for Mayor, 1149 Lafayette Street, Cape May