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<strong>paul</strong> <strong>simon</strong> – 1984 <strong>playboy</strong> <strong>interview</strong> small black beetles: the overkill<br />
about my music, right? But that's a statement I would<br />
ignore. Totally ignore it.<br />
Playboy: Why?<br />
Simon: There's something in me - in a lot of people - that<br />
says, "Gee, if I admit that things are actually going well,<br />
maybe they'll stop." Or "If I admit I'm happy, maybe I won't<br />
be able to write." I think the psyche comes up with all<br />
kinds of contrivances to protect what it thinks is<br />
vulnerable. And sometimes those contrivances are that you<br />
stay in a state of unhappiness. Or victimization. It's almost<br />
saying, "Hey, don't get mad at me for being so successful<br />
and doing so well, because look how unhappy I am."<br />
Playboy: What changed that feeling?<br />
Simon: I think the success of Still Crazy loosened me up.<br />
Made me feel good about myself. My friendship with<br />
Lorne Michaels was very good. I could talk with him about<br />
anything, without any competitiveness. Also, my<br />
relationship with Shelley Duvall, during the same period.<br />
While it wasn't ultimately satisfying, it was really something<br />
that I enjoyed. As much as I was frustrated by it - and, of<br />
course, ultimately we broke up - I was very pleased that I<br />
was going with Shelley. I truly admired her work. I really<br />
liked the way she looked. We just weren't a match in<br />
terms of personality. So I think despite my habitual<br />
looking at the negative as a form of protection, I began to<br />
get happy.<br />
Playboy: What role has being short played in the negative<br />
feelings?<br />
Simon: I think it had the most significant single effect on<br />
my existence, aside from my brain. In fact, it's part of an<br />
inferior-superior syndrome. I think I have a superior brain<br />
and an inferior stature, if you really want to get brutal<br />
about it. The concept goes much further that that, but<br />
that's where it starts. And the inferior-superior feeling<br />
goes back and forth so fast sometimes that it becomes a<br />
blur.<br />
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