EMPTYTHE CUPWritten by Rick Hanson, PhD
OOnce upon a time, a scholar came to visit a saint. After thescholar had been orating and propounding for a while, the saintproposed some tea. She slowly filled the scholar’s cup: graduallythe tea rose to the very brim and began spilling over onto thetable, yet she kept pouring and pouring. The scholar burst out:“Stop! You can’t add anything to something that’s already full!”The saint set down the teapot and replied, “Exactly.”Whether it’s the blankness of a canvas to an artist, the silencebetween the notes in music, bare dirt for a new garden, thenot-knowing openness of a scientist exploring new hypotheses,an unused shelf in a closet or cupboard, or some open timein your schedule, you need space to act effectively, dance withyour partners, and have room around your emotional reactions.Yet most of us, me included, tend to stuff as much as possibleinto whatever room is available – room in closets, schedules,budgets, relationships, and even the mind itself.Personally, my own mind is often filled with themes ofwork: details of tasks to do, problems to avert, opportunities tocapture keep swelling up again into awareness to capture myattention. For a friend of mine, the wallpaper of her own mind,as she puts it, is rumination about her health problems.Remember the cup: its value is in the space, the emptiness,it holds.How?Be more mindful of the element of space, openness, possibility,reserve capacity, and emptiness in your life. This includes roomin a drawer, the volume of air in a kitchen, the vacuum in alightbulb, openmindedness in a friend, or minimal traffic on ahighway. Consciously appreciate the beneficial somethings thatare the gifts of various nothings.What’s the “wallpaper” in your own mind – the everydaypreoccupations that fill it up like bermuda grass taking overa yard? The usual suspects include recurring worries, issueswith work, resentments, and regrets. Try to be more mindful ofthese, and disengage faster when they start taking over. Shiftyour attention to something that’s positive and interesting,and then try to invest yourself more in this topic.Sometimes you’re just stuck with a big bucket of tasks yet todo (I’ve been there . . . oops, I still am here!). But at least emptythe bucket faster than you fill it with new tasks.Put some space between finishing one thing and startinganother. For example, after sending one email, take a breathbefore replying to another one; when the dishes are done,pause for a break; in a conversation, let the ending of one topicreverberate for a moment before launching another one; takereal time for lunch.Drop the stuff you can no longer afford to lug around. At sealevel, you can run with a brick in your backpack, but if you’rehiking on a mountain, that brick’s got to go. Similarly, most ofus have some habits, indulgences, ideas, grudges, or fixationsthat were kind of OK at one time but now – with changingcircumstances (such as juggling more balls, raising a family,aging) – are wearing you down and really need to go. What’syour own brick? What would you gain by emptying it out ofyour own backpack?Explore the practice not-adding as a form of subtracting,emptying: not firing back with a tart rejoinder in a quarrel . . .not presuming you know the right answer to something . . . nottaking on a new commitment . . . not plopping more stuff onthe counter . . . not piling on another self-criticism . . .Enjoy emptiness in the forms that speak to you: perhaps thequiet at night when everyone’s asleep but you, a blank pagein your journal, a friend’s receptive listening, an open counteras you begin to cook (love this one myself), a hole in yourschedule, the space between thoughts as your mind calms andbecomes still, or a Saturday with no plans at all.Or a cup waiting patiently for tea.About The AuthorRICK HANSON, PHDRick Hanson, PhD, is a psychologist, Senior Fellow of the GreaterGood Science Center at UYC Berkeley, and a New York Times bestsellingauthor. His books have been published in 29 languages andinclude Neurodharma, Resilient, and Hardwiring Happiness.To Learn More Visit:www.RickHanson.net