Crossroads Initiative Edition 1

Dear Readers,
When you
Crossroads, wh
The official definition
“an intersection of two o
an beings, we are forced to ch
spect of life. Each emotion, actio
towards walking different types o
consistencies. Traveling through ro
of seeking leveled ground, Crossroad
meeting point for these differing roads w
oking to de-stigmatize mental health and find b
life, Crossroads aims to be an inclusive commu
hardships so that the bumps and roughness in
able obstacles that they marvel as they slowly o
being a part of this commable
to find your own beauti
as you read these
and

think of the word
at comes to mind?
by the dictionary is
r more roads.” As humoose
a path in every a-
n, and decision pushes us
f roads with distinguishing
ugh textures on the journey
s Initiative was created to be a
here wanderers can take rest. Loeauty
in the flaws and imperfections of
nity where students find strength in their
their journeys only turn out to be valuvercome
them. Thank you so much for
unity and I hope you are
ful, authentic, textured path
stories of pain, growth,
empowerment.
Sincerely,
Shailee Sankhala
President of Crossroads
Initiative

Madison Empalmado
Shailee Sankhala
Skye Lee
Noah Lee
PRO

MO

Pandemic Takes a Toll on Lives
Due to stressful work environments caused by COVID-19, two healthcare workers in Manhattan
became victims of suicide on April 27, exposing mental health concerns associated
with healthcare workers during the pandemic.
The world lost Dr. Lorna Breen, a 49-year-old medical director of the emergency department
at New York-Presbyterian Allen Hospital and John Mondello, a 23-year-old emergency
medical technician at New York City Fire Department’s Emergency Medical Services, due
to grueling hours, unprecedented stress and having to witness numerous deaths, according
to Business Insider.
“She was truly in the trenches on the front line,’’ father of Lorna Breen, Dr. Phillip Breen said in
an interview with the New York Times. “She tried to do her job, and it killed her.”
On top of having to risk infecting themselves as well as loved ones, healthcare workers are
required to battle the negative emotional toll of watching patients pass away, according to
Dr. Shauna Springer, psychologist and trauma-recovery expert at the Stella Center in
Illinois, in an interview with Business Insider.
“They’re working really long hours, they’re seeing these
traumas that are burning into their minds, and they
have very limited time to release,” Springer said.
“They tell me that they carry a heavy burden
of responsibility when they lose a patient,
[and that every life lost] can feel like
a moral injury.”
Others express concerns for a potential
upcoming increase in physician suicide
rates of the pandemic. Although
doctors were already susceptible to
suicide prior to the crisis, Dr. Sandro
Galea, of the Boston University
School of Public Health, and
colleagues wrote in a JAMA
Internal Medicine article that
stress, trauma and isolation
caused by the pandemic may
bring the “perfect storm” among
medical professionals.
Beyond Patients
Bia Shok

A study focusing on healthcare workers who worked with COVID-19 patients found that in
China, 50.4% of surveyed medical workers experienced depression and 71.5% experienced
distress. Italy, Iran and Indonesia also had COVID-19 related suicides of healthcare workers,
according to National Observer.
In order for health care workers to continue treating patients with Coronavirus, Dr. Charles
Marmar, chair of the department of psychiatry and director of the PTSD research program at
New York University suggested in an interview with Business Insider that it is necessary for
workers to relieve stress and
prevent themselves from gaining
chronic psychiatric
problems.
for 20 years and being a third-gener-
I can tell you this is new territory,”
Al-Agba, who runs a private prac-
Seattle said in an interview with New
Times, “I don’t know if we’ve ever
work and fear for our lives in the
“After practicing
ation doctor,
Dr. Niran
tice in
York
had to go to
same way.”

By:Varshene
Varshene Sivaprakash

DEENA ANSARI
A Tainted Smile
Junior Deena Ansari, who attends Irvine High School, spends most of
her day like everyone else, handling school, extracurriculars and family
life. Ansari is heavily involved in school academically with many
advanced placement courses at school as well as musically, through
marching and jazz band. She is an outgoing person who instantly
brightens anyone’s mood.
However, her life behind the scenes became quite different as she began
dealing with more jarring and detrimental realities of life.
“Over a year ago, I was outed to my parents regarding my gender
and sexuality,” Ansari said. “Coming from an Islamic background, it
definitely was not something they understood.”
Having to accept that her family members, who she put heavy trust
in, were the ones who least accepted her, took a negative toll on her
mental health.
“I was told not to wear certain things or look a certain way, making
me feel like I was losing a sense of identity,” Ansari said.
As she endured feelings of inadequacy, it led her to darker stages
where she needed professional care after being diagnosed with clinical
depression and anxiety in December of her sophomore year. Although
the pressure led to unbearable amovunts of tension, the experience
forced her to learn many truths to push through her life.
“Although I still feel unaccepted, a lot has changed. First, asking for
help is okay and not something to be ashamed of,” Ansari said. “I’ve
learned to accept my identity—it’s completely normal to feel like this.
Things get better over time.”
As time heals, a year later Ansari has grown to accept herself and build
a strong support group as she began talking to a few professionals and
friends in the fall of 2018 about her experiences, and grew to be unashamed
of her story by junior year. Although her environment hasn’t
all changed, she learned lessons she’ll never forget from her experience.
“I wish people knew that the person who you believe to be constantly
happy, may be struggling with a damaging mental illness and you
wouldn’t know,” Ansari said.
She has grown to learn that a little empathy and encouragement goes
a long way and hopes others take a step back to understand someone’s
situation before making judgements.

How the Racial Privilege Disparity
has Widened during the
Pandemic
George Floyd, a 46-year-old African American man, was killed on Monday, May 25 in Minneapolis Minn. at the hands of
a white police officer, according to the New York Times; the officer had pinned Floyd to the ground and pressed his knee
against Floyd’s neck for approximately 8 minutes and 46 seconds, all the while bystanders could hear Floyd saying “I can’t
breathe.”
Floyd’s death has become a symbol of systemic racism against the black community. While racial profiling and police brutality
has, unfortunately, become all too common in the United States, the global COVID-19 pandemic has caused the gap in racial
privilege to widen and become more apparent.
For one, COVID-19 has disproportionately affected black individuals. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
(CDC), 33% of hospitalized COVID-19 patients were black, which is far higher than the 18% community average.
However, given the intense systematic racism against the black community, this should, in all honesty, be unsurprising.
After all, compared to their white counterparts, black people have less access to wealth, safe living conditions, education and
healthcare. Although redlining, the practice of denying investment in neighborhoods with racial minorities, has since been outlawed,
its effects are still felt, according to the Washington Post. In the past, redlined neighborhoods were denied
loans, which made it harder for minorities to purchase houses and get into better school districts; white
citizens did not face such obstacles
Overall, this practice has caused a generational racial wealth gap between white
citizens and minorities, especially black people; according to a 2020 Brook
ings Institute report, white families have net worths ($171,000)
that are approximately 10 times greater than that of
black families ($17,150). Furthermore, without any
past opportunities for financial growth, black
citizens were more likely to fall into the cycle of
poverty.
Charlotte Cao

Due to this fiscal disparity, it has become increasingly difficult for black individuals to receive equal healthcare access during
this pandemic. According to Carlos Nelson, CEO of the Greater Auburn-Gresham Development Corp, in an NPR article,
black communities simply do not have the same COVID-19 testing resources as others do.
However, the double standard discriminatory practices extend far beyond healthcare and economic differences.
Following Floyd’s death, thousands of protestors led to the street to advocate for the Black Lives Matter movement; as of
June 9, at least 140 cities have hosted sprawling protests, both peaceful and violent, according to the New York Times.
The National Guard has been deployed in about 21 states and, as seen through various social media outlets, police officers
have employed unnecessary violence against peaceful protestors. President Donald Trump exacerbated the conflict by
tweeting, “When the looting starts, the shooting starts,” in reference to the small instances of property damage incurred during
the riots, according to the Atlantic. For context, this phrase was first stated in 1967 by Miami police Chief Walter Headley,
who was renowned for his racist attitudes and disdain for the Civil Rights movement.
On the other hand, when hundreds of white citizens protesting against the COVID-19 stay-at-home orders entered Michigan’s
state capital on April 30, they were met with little to no legal ramifications, according to the Washington Post. Some
carried guns while others dressed up in combat uniforms and yet, President Donald Trump labelled them as “very good people,”
in reference to a CNN article.
There is a stark and unnerving difference between these two situations; at its foundation, the justice system has punished one
group and lauded the other on the basis of skin color. Through the recent Black Lives Matter protests, it has become irrefutably
clear that racism has permeated into every aspect of life.
“The Black Lives Matter movement means everything to me, because I am a part of the black community,” recent Northwood
High graduate and rising Cal Poly Pomona freshmen Toriola Olora said. “I care so much about people who look
like me, and I wouldn’t hesitate to stand by others who are passionate about changing concepts about the present
to make the future better for people of color.”
Over the past few weeks, Olora has attended multiple Black Lives Matter protests in Irvine, determined to use
her voice to encourage change and help reduce the gap in racial privilege.
“I think people are realizing that there is a need to stand with the black community because black people are
human beings and have been stepped on for centuries,” Olora said. “Having that entire video of George Floyd
being killed and tortured on camera made everyone
feel something, and
society is accepting that this wasn’t police
protocol, it was
racism in
broad daylight.”

Am
I Not
Skin and
Bones Too?
Nisien Notario

Growing up in the city I used to be just a girl
but when I moved to the suburbs I discovered
that I had become a description of my skin as if it
added up to more than the sum of my whole ques
tions about me were answered with “That black girl” as
if the adjective could set me apart from the rest of my
classmates better than any other attributes- and set me
apart it did. It didn’t take me long to notice that I was different,
that I spoke differently and ate differently and thought dif
ferently and looked different. I often found myself as the only
one, and searching to find someone that looked like me
proved futile every time. I wasn’t invited to go play af
ter school, I was rejected by my classmates and teachers
became easily frustrated with me. The few friends I had
were diverse outcasts as well, as if someone had picked all
of the colorful candy out of a jar and set it aside to be eat
en separately. Interactions I had were limited to “Are you from
around here?” “Can I touch your hair?” “How come you don’t
sound black?” “How do you feel about the N word?” and “hey
we’re friends so I can say it, right?” Never “how are you? you
are living, breathing, thinking, human being. I also found
that words like upset, frustrated, perplexed, uncomfort
able, confused, and irritated didn’t apply to me because
if I was seen to be not smiling the default was that I was
angry, or mad. I found myself often talked down to as if
my skin color determined that I wasn’t capable of func
tioning at a level greater than or equal to that of my fair
skinned peers, and because nobody likes to admit that
racism exists and is institutionalized and slipped into
the crevices of our mannerisms, because nobody likes to
admit that the human mind rejects what it doesn’t un
derstand and the basic problem was that my peers didn’t
understand black skin, I internalized the way I was treated
and blamed myself for being different. I threw myself into as
similating, becoming better, trying to throw off my skin by sub
merging myself in reading and becoming somebody else for three
hundred pages at a time. Nobody ever told me that they hated
black people, or that it was bad to be black, and it took me a long
time to be able to admit that the micro-aggressions around me
were a big contributor to the problem. I had reduced myself in

every aspect until I wasn’t too much of anything anymore, I was fragments
of what I had been, I was a disgrace to the history carried in my bones. I
had carved out chunks of myself, chunks of my name, I was who I was as
I existed in order to please others because I forgot that I too was a person
deserving of just as much, and it all started with me saying “hey
I’m X but you can call me X if that feels better on the tongue, of
course whatever was easier to pronounce fit me better than
my god-given name, right? and then I’d continue with, yeah
you can touch my hair because your fingers deserve to
trespass my tresses if it’ll set you at ease, right? and I’d
finish off by smiling, smiling so wide you could see my
gums, because since I was young I was treated with
suspicion at my assumed aggression so i’d bow my head
and smile like a fool so it would be known that i wasn’t
as aggressive as the brutish tone of my skin might suggest,
because how dare I look hostile by existing in this color,
right? Anyway, I grew up a bit and I graduated in middle
school, then high school. I hoped things would get better
but in reality they just got different. the people around me
embrace and love black culture, accomplishments, music,
slang, products, humor, but I have yet to see this appreciation
extended to black people.
Nisien Notario

DISCUS
Black Lives Matter Teachers’ Perspectives
Madison Empalmado
Shailee Sankhala
Skye Lee

SIONS
Black Lives Matter Students’ Perspectives

“B
severely lim
tal health a
ness that fe
Anonymous Quotes
“I grew up with a family that is not very
outspoken about mental health and
my own insecurities prevents me
from sharing.”
“A lot of people have family issues
and a lot of people normalize it because
so many people have these
same issues. It almost feels like
you’re not justified in being r-
eally sad, even though everyone
has separate feelings.”
Joy Chen

eing put in a situation where in-person contact is
ited is very difficult to handle from the menspect,
especially when dealing with a mental illeds
on a lack of control or isolation.”

Jiho Ahn
ST

STAY HOME
AY TOGETHER

Compared to other demograph
Mental Health. While the class o
which had previously sheltered
OC Community
With families under lockdown a
tions rally behind their peers.
Every year, mental health illness
COVID-19. But combined with
persist.
The Orange County Register re
ty’s mental health helpline, whic
to provide support.
“I think communication online
presence that would normally g
Meanwhile, reports of verbal an
The Trevor Project reports that
out to their crisis service progra
Along with large organizations,
ademic stress that comes with E
school students.
“We overcame many struggles t
helped us work together for the
Overall, quarantine favors privil
these pressing times has never b
County mental health hotline a
While the future holds hope, it
Whether it be volunteering, reac
Hari Sreeramagiri

Bands Together Despite the Odds
nd tensions rising, Orange County mental health hotlines are ringing at unprecedented rates while student organizaes
have claimed the lives of approximately 8 million Americans, more than the 4 million deaths reported due to
the economic and familial struggles that were bolstered by quarantine isolation, many are finding it even harder to
ports increases in the number of Suicide Help calls made by those suffering from COVID-19 related anxiety. The counh
has only 12 staff members, eight additional clinicians and some work-at-home staff members, is frantically restaffing
ics, mental health concerns have disproportionately impacted young adults, according to the National Institute of
f 2020 reels from the cancellation of school events, others lack consistent support from friends and religious groups
them from problems at home and school.
through video call or text is so different,” Northwood High sophomore Helena Zhou said “There isn’t that real human
ive me energy or motivation or happiness.”
d emotional child domestic abuse are increasing as family relationships undergo strain, particularly for LGBTQ teens.
Coronavirus has comprised 25% of conversations with LGBTQ youth, while the number of teens who have reached
ms have doubled since the pandemic began.
students have used this time to take a stand to help children achieve academic success and mitigate some of the ac-
DL. A students run organization, Miracle for Youth, provides free tutoring services through Zoom for elementary
hroughout the creation of our organization but we stuck together,” founder and Executive Chief Justin Kim said. “This
sake of the community.”
eged populations who are not coping with as much economic and emotional trauma. But for many, persisting through
een harder. organizations The Trevor Project and Miracle for Youth as well as the dedicated staffers of the Orange
re working to prevent suffering and loneliness.
is of the utmost importance that Irvine students band together for the wellbeing of the community and their peers.
hing out or making time for our families, let’s all do our part in curing the biggest pandemic of 2020: mental health.

IUSD MENTAL
HEALTH RESOURCES
Students
may struggle
to maintain
their mental
health due to stress,
pressure accumulated
from schoolwork,
extracurriculars and issues
within friend groups. During
this pandemic, because it may
be even harder for students to
acquire access to mental health resources,
Irvine Unified School District
has offered programs to keep their students
mentally engaged.
Bia Shok

Irvine Family Resource Center
Low-cost or free student and family therapy services. Parent workshops, teen workshops and
resource linkage and referrals are included in the program.
You can also contact Irvine Family Resource Center:
Christine Guerrero
christineguerrero@iusd.org
Anaissa Ibrahimi-Mealiff
anaissamealiff@iusd.org
Mariposa Women & Family Center
Individual and group counseling provided for Orange County-residents for a low fee.
Western Youth Services
Provides mental and behavioral health counseling for youth. Their services continue online
during the pandemic.
The OC Warm Line:
Support call line for anyone struggling with emotional or mental health.
(877) 910-WARM (877-910-9276)
Centralized Assessment Team (CAT)
Helps assess suicidal children and links to resources, available 24 hours a day.
Community Service Programs (CSP) Teen Shelter
A 24 hour short-term sheltering service for runaway, homeless or at-risk OC youth with programs
and a support line for victims of rape, homicide or anyone going through a hard time.
Available Wellness Coordinators:
Michelle Santana
Creekside High School
michellesantana@iusd.org
Nancy Le
Irvine High School
nancyle@iusd.org
Megan Keller
Northwood High School
megankeller@iusd.org
Maureen Muir
Portola High School
maureenmuir@iusd.org
Lauren Stallings
Woodbridge High School
laurenstallings@iusd.org

Shreya Shankar
Yellow

van gogh used to eat yellow paint
because he thought it would
get the happiness inside of him.
he was crazy.
the paint was toxic,
lining his stomach with lead,
but i think i understand?
when you’re that unhappy,
even the craziest ideas seem like they might
possibly
work.
they give hope.
hope is like a foolish man’s drug,
but sometimes i find myself living for that high.
van gogh tried to paint the inner linings of his
stomach yellow,
tried to swallow the sun
so maybe he could feel a little more warmth.
everyone has their yellow paint.

At-Home Quarantine Has Caused a
Swelling of Domestic Violence Rates
Ever since the closure of schools, workplaces and public spaces due to COVID-19 stay-at-home orders, there has been an
influx of domestic violence reports.
On top of people losing their jobs, losing access to food and health resources, numerous police departments across the
nation have reported increased text messages and calls to domestic abuse hotlines.
“In Chicago, the number of people seeking help has increased significantly in recent weeks. During the first week of March,
383 people called a domestic violence hotline in the city,” said reporter Julie Bosman in an article with New York Times. “By
the end of April, the weekly number had soared to 549.”
Since lockdown forces an abuser and their victim to be stuck at home, abusers have been using COVID-19 limitations to
further control, abuse and cut off access for victims. However, domestic violence rates in urban areas like New York and
Los Angeles have decreased according to the New York Times.
Krisha Konchadi

“Those stats are very scary,” Queens district attorney Melinda Katz said in an interview with New York Times.
Along with this peak, there has also been a drop in calls and texts from abuse victims in some places. This decrease
most likely indicates an inability to contact domestic abuse hotlines, due to close proximity to abusers and inability to
escape difficult situations.
“Where domestic violence arrests have fallen nearly 40 percent,” Katz said. “The problem we think people are having is
how to notify us.”
According to the Los Angeles Police Department, the drop in calls doesn’t signify a drop in abuse cases, it signifies a
restriction on access to communication with authorities and officials who can help with violence cases.
Pertaining to Orange County, according to ABC news, “Other cities including San Diego, Anaheim, Burbank and Santa
Rosa have reported little change, while calls in Fresno County spiked in March but declined into April.”
For people currently facing domestic violence crises, the National Domestic Violence Hotline provides online chatting
services, informational resources and calling and texting hotlines.

Anonymous Quotes
“The hardest part is answering the ‘why.’
”
Why did I self sabotage? Why can’t I find
my reason to try? What is wrong with me?
”
Joy Chen
Bia Shok

“In January, one of my best friends from second
grade took his own life. It took me a good
month and a half for everything to catch up to
me, including the tears and the guilt of
knowing that I could’ve at least done or even
said something to prevent it...Now that I can’t
see them, I feel stuck with my thoughts and
that guilt.
”
“I’ve been inside for so long and I really miss
friends. Having to be isolated with a family
member that criticizes me when I’m genuinely
doing my hardest to learn is tough. I’m
afraid that I will forget how to socialize
and interact with people at school by the
time we get back too.
”

Puzzle
Do you know the feeling?
The feeling where you are by yourself in a world
of people
Yet you can’t speak or hold or touch
All moves around you but you stand
still and you don’t belong
It’s like life is one giant puzzle and you are
somehow a piece from a different puzzle
You don’t fit the way the other pieces do
and because of this you feel different too
On the outside you look the same
But on the inside you have no
name
An unspoken identity, unknown, unfamiliar
Life is a game but you are never the winner
You decide to try to fit in the puzzle
You want to see if you can make a
space
But no matter what you do
You will always be you
and that’s never going to change
You try to paint your skin another shade
but the skin underneath still remains
And when you look like you fit in your
insides feel grim
You know you’re in the wrong space
You know you’re not living in the right
place
But as you grow you move around you
see cities, sights, and small towns
And one day you find the right home
Like a perfectly pitched high note
in this home is people
People like you who you truly
wish to hold onto
If only yourself of the past
had known
that your piece would one day
find the right puzzle.
Puneet Singh
Lexi Teats

Competiti
Competition. We’re surrounded
measure success, growth, and a
pete to get that trophy, to get i
team. Competition by itself is n
naturally want to be the best.
I mean, we’ve all been there. A
how they only slept five hours
brag about your three hours of
downs this week? Well I’ve had
This mindset is widely used am
mental health issues. Psychothe
explains this phenomenon, one
teenage patients with an eating
to be the “best anorexic.” The m
noted being asked in group the
weight?” and she traced the ori
nation for competition. She ma
the hierarchy mutually held am
patients. A higher restriction of
of control, which is a trait often
patients. Perfectionism clouds t
cially impacts people with ano
ders.
When this mindset is accompa
mental health, which has led to
story on social media platforms
tal. Many people have turned t
stagram to share their recovery
for a space where people feel c
allows for this “best anorexic” m
people share their lowest weigh
not aware of how it could affec
ery. This activates the sense of c
one to invalidate the severity o
could be worse. They do not fu
baum has so poignantly put it,
oneself is not a goal worth achi
This does not mean we have to
struggles and experiences, but t
ful when doing so. Recovery is
everyone is at different points o
our awareness, we can ensure l
community.
Shreya Shankar
Shreya Shankar

ve Illness
by it. It’s how we tend to
ccomplishments. We comnto
that college, make that
either good nor bad. Humans
classmate complains about
last night, so, in turn, you
sleep. “You’ve had two breakfive.”
ong those who suffer with
rapist Lauren Grunebaum
she often sees among her
disorder, as an inherent want
ost common question she
rapy is “what was your lowest
gins of it to our natural inclinaged
to do this by noting
ong her anorexic and bulimic
intake indicates a greater sense
strived for in eating disorder
he minds of many, but esperexia,
anxiety and other disornied
by the stigma around
more people sharing their
, the effects can be detrimeno
platforms like TikTok and Instories,
and, while this allows
omfortable opening up, it also
indset to grow. Oftentimes,
t or amount of hospital visits,
t those who are still in recovompetition
held and causes
f their illness simply because it
lly recognize that, as Grune-
“being the best at starving
eving.”
stop opening up about our
hat we must be more carea
long and hard process and
f this process. By increasing
ess relapses and a healthier

Bringing Light to Alternative
Medicine
Anyone’s first thought for dealing with mental illness is therapy
and in later stages, medication and in a matter of weeks, recovery.
But treating mental illness has never been this simple.
For some, they may be stuck in stage one, because medication
causes them to fear detrimental side effects or disapproval
from society. Despite the various ways mental illness patients
can be treated, therapy and medication are the only trusted
means of treatment and do not guarantee improvement.
“Mental illness depends on not just the result of a chemical
imbalance but your genetics, lifestyle choices, relationships,
and coping skills,” Psychology and Health activist Melinda
Smith said. “Unfortunately we still can’t understand mental
illness to the fullest and therefore can’t rely on only two means
of treatment.”
What happens then? An hour of therapy isn’t enough to keep
you stable till your next appointment and medication isn’t in
the picture. Even for those who choose to take medication experience
counter effects that further deteriorates their mental
health.
Unknown to most, therapy and medication are only temporary supports and a “cure” for
mental illness has yet to be discovered: a harsh reality many don’t come to terms with until
a stage of irreversible damage. However, this void in the mental health industry pushed
specialists to discover alternative types of treatments. Thomas Insel, National Institute
of Mental Health’s former director confessed, “I spent 13 years at NIMH pushing on the
neuroscience and genetics of mental disorders, and... I realize that while I succeeded at
getting... papers published by cool scientists at expensive costs, we haven’t moved the needle
in reducing suicide, reducing hospitalizations, or improving recovery.”
Since this new step, various methods of treating mental illness have been discovered,
however, it follows a lot of skepticism. One method is Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation:
the use of magnetic fields to fire up nerve cells that have been shut down due to mental
illness. However, TMS is an unpopular field that causes patients to fear side effects, such
as seizures or permanent brain damage. However these rumors have not been supported
by research, as the worst side effects from TMS would be mild headaches or lightheadedness.
In fact, TMS has been proven to have longer-lasting effects than medication and
therapy. Some other alternative treatments to mental illness include nutrition therapy:
therapy to restore the chemical imbalance in a psychiatric patient through nutritional
Varshene Sivaprakash

diets or art/wilderness therapy
which has been proven to boost con
fidence and decrease anxiety levels by ig
niting passion for daily activities.
These alternative medications have proven
beneficial as they are easier to implement in
everyday life and allow a variety of sup plements to
continually engage your brain through various activities.
In order to restore faith in those battling with
mental illness, bringing light to various types of
treatments can comfort those who have given
up on treatment and cause a world of differ
ence.

R
Dad told me that the color red in our
culture means fortune and luck. Red w-
edding clothes, red money envelopes, red
charms to ward off evil, red accents on the
waving cat talismans that promise prosperity
at entrances of restaurants. Even people c-
an be red. They are optimistic, successful, and
respected; red people are good people that everyone
praises for accolades and obedience to law,
family, and heritage. Dad told me there’s a saying
that goes: to stick with red people, you become red
but stay too close to the black, you turn to the black.
Black is the antithesis of the color red in my culture. In
funerals, while red is banned for its happy connotations,
black is solely worn to express mourning for lost ones.
The color black is associated with concepts of sorrow and
ill luck, understandingly so. Black is tied with people of my
culture, too. Criminals and bullies for example are representative
of the color black in this almost synesthetic way of seeing
characteristics as the definition of a color. I think Dad
gave me this Cantonese saying to help me navigate the teetering
seesaws of friendship and winding trails of identity in childhood.
I had red friends and red or happy experiences that I remember in
the warm glow of growing up here in California. Productivity. Kindness
to everyone. Smiles. To be pure red, I experienced burnout like sugar
burning to a crisp instead of the candies like caramel dragons and pigs
made by Chinese sugar painters. I feel sad to say I am not strong enough
as a person to work hard everyday, but I accept that sometimes I am never
enough “What’s wrong with your mind?” “Do you want to live like this forever?”
The words of my parents echo through my mind and make me feel like a
bitter, dark wine color of a person, but the world gets muddy because my mind
clouded by so-called excuses of mental exhaustion makes me feel hopeless about
things being unfair. About loneliness and neglect. About feeling a little worse
about myself, like a bad person of the concepts of black. Though, I realize I am m-
uch more than two colors if humans could be represented by them. Colors are b-
road as literally the entire Pantone array of colors. Although the color of success and
happiness may be red, yellow could be my happiness, too, and green could be the peace
I have with myself. I am working towards this version of green, but I’m my own palette
of hues like everyone here and around me. I am sometimes “black,” too, like when I
mischievously ask my dad to take the trash out for me, but loving myself for my imperfections
makes me a better person. Same with everyone and even my parents, whose words I
am learning not to take personally. I’m neither a “black” person nor a “red” person, but I’m
my own definition of myself, whatever colors I may represent.
Kathleen Pan

ED PEOPLE

Anonymous Quotes
“Irvine unfortunately has a very toxic
environment when it comes to academics and
college. Irvine’s mentality about academics and
grades must change, and I hope the day comes
when kids realize that this is the time to experience,
make mistakes, embrace failures.”
Joy Chen

“It’s just been easier to keep to myself rather
than possibly ruin the way people view me,
especially with teachers or adults in my life. I
wouldn’t want them to see me any differently
than I was before they knew.”

Sonia Goyal
Sonia Goyal
Sonia Goyal

“That drawing represents
what I felt at one of the darkest moments
of my life but putting it onto paper help
put those moments behind me”

my favorite season has always been the fall sweater
season with pumpkin spice lattes. it’s the best.
when i moved to california, i kept looking for
fall, waiting for the day leaves would start
painting the sidewalk. it never came.
i asked a friend and they laughed
and said that california only has
two seasons, summer and less
hot summer. and i mean i
guess they have a point.
i wish my depression had
seasons, so that for at
least a few months a
year i could feel warmth.
i can’t complain
much because at least
it’s not a harsh winter.
it’s just fall. not
always cold, ‘
but lacking
just enough warmth. and after all, fall
has always been my favorite season.
we’re said to live in a state of per
manent light. Any day is a beach
day if you try hard enough. but
it can make you feel lonely.
when the cold inside of
you is harsher than
that which surounds
you. when leaves of
happiness start to
fall away and
your brain becomes
becomes a skeleton
of the tree it once
was. it gets lonely.
Shreya Shankar

F
A
L
L

Q&A with Kailyn Pham
singer. songwriter. survivor.
“Just as I was beginning to get better, I felt like everything
was just pulled out from under me. Over the
next year, when I was dealing with rumors about what
had happened, with people trying to take down my
reputation and people messaging me, talking about
me and posting about me, I developed really unhealthy
coping habits.”
Joy Chen

VARSHENE SIVAPRA
An aspiring psychiatrist
“I have definitely grown from my experiences,”
Sivaprakash said. “The afraid,
trapped girl I was before is no longer in
sight. My parents have completely transformed
their ways....I understood that our
cultural differences had a lot to do with
our miscommunication.”
Joy Joy Chen Chen

KASH

of @oat
Food for Though
“I think social media isn’t inherently toxic; it’s just
the community that you choose to involve yourself
in because the community that I found after
I started my account is full of people who
believe that health exists at every size
and that you don’t have to have a r-
estrictive relationship with food,”
Truong said. “But on the same
Joy Chen

t: an Exploration
citizen
platform, there’s a lot of weird fitness hacks… It’s
weird because it all exists in the same world and
they’re all really impactful, so it’s all a mat
ter of when you see it and what time
you see it and what place you’re
at mentally when you
see it.”

Sreenidhi Dhurjati

How the Media
Glamourizes Mental Health
Ever since the creation of the internet,
society has unknowingly gained a powerful
platform to spread right values,
and even some wrong ones. As such,
never before in history have suicide
rates in the United States increased so
substantially as people tip over the edge
of the psychological fence, and a major
player in this game of life or death, is the
media.

Meet Ou
JOY CHEN: WRITER
As the Editor-in-Chief and Viewpoint Editor, Joy Chen is honored to be helping fight stigma surrounding
mental health. In addition to her role in Crossroads Initiative, Joy is the Managing Editor
of Irvine High School’s ‘El Vaquero,’ the CEO of the IHS Virtual Enterprise team and the founder of
PERIOD @ Irvine. In her free time, Joy enjoys writing poetry, dancing and exploring Artificial Intelligence.
VARSHENE SIVAPRAKASH: WRITER
I’m Varshene, a rising senior at Irvine High School. My major passion in life is to spread awareness
about mental health and make sure everyone has resources to help their needs. I am always open
to help anyone with their journeys and will continue to spread awareness on this important issue.
In my past, I enjoy writing songs and writing for important causes.
BIA SHOK: WRITER
Bia Shok is the features editor and copy editor for Crossroads 2020! She is very excited to take
part in promoting mental health through journalism.
CHARLOTTE CAO: WRITER
My name is Charlotte Cao, and I am a rising junior at Portola High as well as a writer for Crossroads.
Having lived in Irvine for most of my life, I have experienced the stressful education system
firsthand and so, I am extremely excited to see all of the work that Crossroads Initiative will accomplish
for mental health awareness. In my freetime, I can be found reading a good book, blasting
music at midnight, or avidly spending all of my money on boba.
KRISHA KONCHADI: WRITER AND GRAPHIC DESIGNER
Krisha Konchadi is the creative director of the Crossroads team and a rising senior at Portola High.
She is super excited to join the staff and promote change in the middle of a progressive society.
Outside of school, she likes to paint, watch youtube, drink boba, or hang out with friends.
SREENIDH DHURJATI: WRITER
Sreenidh is a rising sophomore at Northwood HS who likes his friends, his dog, and video games.
In his free time, he likes to eat food, appreciate trees, and make grilled cheese. He also likes cars
and researches them in his free time. As a member of Crossroads Initiative, he hopes to decrease
the negative stigma around mental health.
PUNEET SINGH: POET
My name is Puneet Singh and I am a junior now in high school. I’ve always loved to express myself
to poetry and songwriting, especially about things that I am passionate about. I’m an advocate
of gender equality, all racial prejudice, and in this case, reducing the mental health stigma. I love
spreading the stories of experience whether it is my own or that of many. I hope people can find
comfort in the work that I have put my heart and soul into!
SHREYA SHANKAR: WRITER AND POET
Shreya Shankar is the Logistics Directors of Crossroads Initiative this year. Aside from dedicating
time to Crossroads, Shreya is a member of the Northwood speech and debate team, and she also
enjoys baking and spending time with her friends.

r Team
NISIEN NOTARIO: POET
My name is Nisien Notario, and I’m an Afro-Indigenous activist local to both Los Angeles and Orange
County. I have both educated myself on and experienced systemic racism & personal racism.
I hope that I can do everything in my power to eradicate racism and poverty wherever I go. Thank
you for giving my art meaning.
KATHLEEN PAN: POET
Kathleen is a current sophomore at Northwood High School. As a sophomore, she is actively interested
in the betterment of mental health of others and the connection of the body with psychology.
Kathleen also loves to incorporate visual arts and music through video-editing which she recently
used to commemorate the work of coronavirus helpers during the COVID19 pandemic on
her social media.
SHAILEE SANKHALA: FILM MAKER AND PHOTOGRAPHER
Shailee Sankhala is a rising junior at Portola High School. Stemming from her passion for storytelling
and mental health advocacy, she created Crossroads as a way to give teenagers the opportunity of
self expression. Through this organization, she hopes to decrease the mental health stigma by finding
beauty in the imperfections of life. Outside of Crossroads Initiative, she is also a filmmaker in her
school’s broadcast, where she continues to pursue her love for storytelling.
SKYE LEE: PRODUCER
Hi! My name is Skye Lee and I’m a senior at Portola High School. I like playing soccer and baking
in my free time. I’m currently in my school’s broadcast team and I hope that with the skills I’ve
learned in video production, i can create videos to inspire and convey hopeful messages for Crossroads
Initiative.
MADISON EMPALMADO: CINEMATOGRAPHER AND PHOTOGRAPHER
Madison Empalmado is a rising senior passionate about storytelling and sharing personal narratives.
As a producer of her school’s broadcast, she strives to tell stories that matter. At Crossroads Initiative,
she works hand in hand with the rest of her teammates to help spread awareness about mental
health issues.
LEXI TEATS: GRAPHIC DESIGNER
Lexi is a graphic designer attending Chapman university. With the strong influences of the modernist
era, she loves using bold colors and unique design elements. She hopes to use graphic design in
the future to make an impact on the world.
JIHO AHN: GRAPHIC DESIGNER
Hello! My name is Jiho Ahn and I am from Irvine High School. I enjoy volunteering, traveling, and
photography. This work was created during my advanced photo class, where I was directed to create
a work inspired by artist Keith Haring. I have created two different designs which connect to the
current situation of Coronavirus.
SONIA GOYAL: ARTIST
Hi I’m Sonia Goyal! I’m a senior at Portola High School who loves to do art in her free time. I’ve
used an assortment of different mediums such as oil painting, charcoal, graphite, acrylic, colored
pencils, and watercolor. As a teenager in high school, mental health is something I’m constantly
struggling with and art is one of the things that help me keep my emotions in check!