April & May 2019

A wise man who for decades ran a very
successful restaurant with his wife in Cape May
told me just before I opened Exit Zero Cookhouse
in 2015, “Want to know how to make a
small fortune in the restaurant business? Invest
a LARGE fortune!” You were so right, Steve.
I was terrified of opening a restaurant, but
that didn’t compare to how nervous I was at the
thought of operating a gas station without any
experience. I was right to be.
Jerry and Andrew at Cape Harbor Shell?
We might be going after the same gas customers,
but those guys are classy. They’ve always
been available to answer questions I have about
the business. And when one of our gas dispensers
got stuck in a Volvo car for 45 minutes, they
came to the rescue. Apparently it happens with
Volvos. Who knew? (I sure didn’t.)
I would tell you about the time one of our
gastenders put regular in a diesel van, but you
might be scared to ever bring your vehicle here.
But don’t worry, it will never happen again. It
better not — cost me $700.
Another thing that will never happen
again? One of our gastenders (coincidentally,
the same one as above) left the pumps switched
on overnight. Good thing no one came to our
station after hours, because they would have
got a LOT of free gas.
Is that gastender still working for us? Yes,
because he’s a really good restaurant server
and they don’t grow on trees. And when he’s
not doing really stupid stuff, he’s a pretty good
gastender, too. Just the other week, someone
came to eat at the restaurant based on that gastender’s
enthusiastic recommendation of our
amazing Thai shrimp soup.
Plus, we all make mistakes. I can’t blame
that gastender (by the way, his name is Terry
O’Brien in case you were wondering) for the
time we ran out of regular gas. That one’s on me.
But that’s never happened again either. Yet.
Someone told me our gas prices are much
higher than in Rio Grande. I asked them to check
how much those guys are paying in rent over
there. This building isn’t cheap. In the offseason,
pumping gas here is more of a public amenity
than a business. We’re not making money in January
and February, but we’re going to stay open.
It’s important.
Back to that Thai shrimp soup... three people
have told me they want to take a bath in it.
I suppose the coconut milk would be good for
your skin.
Everyone should have to work a year in the
restaurant business before they reach adulthood.
It would make them much better people.
And waaaaay better customers. It’s incredible
exit zero 40 april-may
the assumptions people make when they sit
down to eat in a restaurant. I know I absolutely
did before I actually operated a restaurant.
If you’re going to order the well-done
burger, please don’t complain that it takes
nearly 15 minutes to grill. Besides, medium is the
best way to enjoy our juicy burgers.
The most effective way to make sure you
have an enjoyable eating experience? Talk to
your server, or the manager, if something is
wrong. No one is TRYING to make your experience
miserable. But mistakes happen in busy
kitchens. Would be a miracle if they didn’t.
Don’t hold it all in and vent later to TripAdvisor
or Yelp. No one will think you’re a jerk if you let
us know something isn’t right. We WILL think
you’re a jerk if you go on social media later and
write, “Probably the absolute worst restaurant
experience I’ve had in Cape May,” as someone
did after we ran out of waffle fries and had trouble
with our receipt printer.
Cooking in a busy kitchen is a way more
stressful job than you can imagine (unless
you’ve actually worked in a restaurant, and then
you know).
Cooking is so stressful that sometimes
the guys in the kitchen forget to order things.
Important things. Like rice. A restaurant that
serves curry should never run out of rice. But