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PANACHE DESAI
ISSUE NO.116

JUNE 2020
TABLE OF CONTENTS
ISSUE NO. 116
PANACHE DESAI
HEALING FROM
SHOCK AND TRAUMA
42
WHY RELATIONSHIPS
MAY NOT WORK
28
PREVENT OR REVERSE
HEART DISEASE
16
INSIDE THIS ISSUE
Mark Hyman, MD
The Biggest Drug to Prevent
or Reverse Heart Disease
Isn’t a Medication
P16
Guy Finley
Rise Above All Runaway
Reactions
P20
Lorie Gardner
Communication: A Key to
Managing Burnout and
Stress
P38
Linda Mitchell
A Path to Healing from
Shock and Trauma
P42
ON THE COVER
Panache Desai teaches how to
discover your power, potential
and possibility.
LISTEN TO PANACHE
ON CONVERSATIONS
WITH JOAN:
https://spoti.fi/3bRcRgV
Joan Herrmann
Sometimes It Just Doesn’t Fit
P28
Allison Carmen
Why Is It So Difficult to
Be a Positive Thinker?
P32
Janna Lopez
Midlife Is No Crisis —
It’s Grief
P44
Julie Evans
Reaching for Joy in Isolation
P46
Gayle Gruenberg
Organizing Small Spaces
P36

EDITOR IN CHIEF
Joan Herrmann
—
ASSOCIATE EDITOR
Lindsay Pearson
—
CREATIVE DIRECTOR
Matt Herrmann
—
GRAPHIC DESIGNERS
Chris Giordano
Andrea Valentie
Oliver Pane
—
CONTRIBUTORS
Allison Carmen
Julie Evans
Guy Finley
Lorie Gardner, RN, NBC-HWC
Gayle Gruenberg
Joan Herrmann
Mark Hyman, MD
Janna Lopez
Linda Mitchell, CPC

FROM THE EDITOR
—
Life can present many challenges, as
most of us know from recent events.
A pandemic, financial concerns, isolation,
and health issues can create anxiety
and fear. Re-emerging from a crisis takes
inner strength and determination. But,
when we are in the throes of emotional
turmoil, it often feels like we can’t get
through it.
I recently sat down with Panache Desai,
author of the new book, You Are Enough:
Revealing the Soul to Discover Your Power,
Potential and Possibility. Panache teaches
how to reconnect to inner wisdom and
guidance so we can reach levels of personal
and professional success.
According to Panache, during challenging
times there is a lack of certainty and
everything we believe to be solid and reliable
is shaken. This puts us in a moment of
redefinition and reprioritization. It becomes
a time where the authentic aspect of who we
are emerges.
Panache shared insights as to how
we can navigate difficult situations and
emerge strong and whole.
Panache is a bestselling author, thought
leader, and business and life catalyst. He
has been interviewed by Oprah Winfrey on
Super Soul Sunday, and he has collaborated
with Deepak Chopra, Reverend Michael
Beckwith, and Neale Donald Walsch.
Listen to my conversation with Panache:
https://spoti.fi/2Bw0ydj
— Joan Herrmann

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his work at www.marknepo.com.

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ISSUE
NO.116
JUNE
2020
THE BIGGEST
DRUG TO
PREVENT
OR REVERSE
HEART
DISEASE
ISN’T A
MEDICATION
A recent question: “Dr. Hyman, my father has heart disease,
his father did too, and I’m obviously concerned about my
own heart. What can I do to prevent heart disease?”
Written by Mark Hyman, MD

M
Most importantly, please know
while genetics contributes to some degree, many other
factors completely within your control can contribute to or
reverse heart disease.
Genetics loads the gun, but environment pulls the
trigger. The way you eat, how much you exercise, how you
manage stress, and your exposure to environmental toxins
all contribute to things like high cholesterol, high blood
pressure, high blood sugar, and of course, heart disease.
The current way doctors treat heart disease is misguided
because they treat the risk factors not the causes. To think
we can treat heart disease by lowering cholesterol, lowering
blood pressure and lowering blood sugar with medication
is like mopping up the floor while the sink overflows.
Instead, we need to ask what causes these risk factors
like high blood pressure, high blood sugar or abnormal
cholesterol in the first place. Spoiler alert: These are not
medication deficiencies! We treat these problems with
medication, but studies have increasingly shown that
treating these risk factors has only little benefit, or none at
all. Research shows changing your lifestyle can be a more
powerful intervention to prevent heart disease than any
medication.
Your environment, in turn, changes gene expression,
subsequently modulating inflammation, oxidative stress
and metabolic dysfunction. These are the reasons we get
sick and develop heart disease along with other problems.
That’s actually good news. Addressing and fixing
the root causes benefits most chronic disease. These
modifications will make you feel alive and healthy without
the side effects of medication.
Occasionally, I will use medications if I feel a patient
shows a strong genetic predisposition for heart disease
or if significant heart disease already exists. Under those
circumstances, I carefully weigh a medication’s risks
and benefits.
At the same time, most patients can achieve the benefits
of most medications through lifestyle changes.
Simply put, preventative medicine becomes the best
form of medicine. These 10 simple modifications can go a
long way to preventing or reversing heart disease.
Eat a healthy diet. Increase healthy, whole foods rich
in nutrients and phytonutrients (plant molecules).
Aim for at least 8 to 10 servings of colorful fruits
and vegetables every day. These foods are loaded
with disease-fighting vitamins, minerals, fiber,
antioxidants and anti-inflammatory molecules.
Steady your blood sugar. Studies show blood
sugar imbalances contribute to heart disease. Stabilize
your blood sugar with protein, healthy fat and healthy
carbohydrates at every meal. Never eat carbohydrates
alone, and avoid processed sugars with carbohydrates.
Increase your fiber. Work your way up to 50 grams
of fiber per day. High-fiber foods include vegetables,
nuts, seeds and lower-sugar fruits like berries. If
that becomes a challenge, try a fiber supplement.
Avoid processed junk foods. That includes sodas,
juices and diet drinks, which adversely impact sugar and
lipid metabolism. Research shows liquid-sugar calories
become the biggest contributor to obesity, diabetes and
heart disease. Don’t be fooled that 100 percent fruit juice
is healthy. Juices are essentially pure, liquid sugar because
processing strips away the fruit’s fiber.
Increase omega-3 fatty acids. Eat anti-inflammatory
foods like cold-water fish including salmon, sardines and
herring, as well as flaxseeds and even seaweed. Healthy
fat actually benefits your heart by improving your overall
cholesterol profile. It also lowers the small, dangerous LDL
particles that contribute to heart disease by converting
them into light, fluffy, safe LDL particles
Eliminate all hydrogenated fat. Hydrogenated
fat lurks in margarine, shortening, processed oils
and many baked goods and processed foods like
cookies and crackers. Even when the label states
“no trans fats,” the word “hydrogenated” indicates
that the product contains trans fat in one or more
of the ingredients. Use healthy oils instead like
coconut oil (rich in medium-chain triglycerides or MCTs),
extra-virgin, organic, cold-pressed, olive oil, organic sesame
oil, and other nut oils.

Avoid or reduce alcohol intake. Alcohol can raise
triglycerides, contribute to fatty liver and create sugar
imbalances. Reducing or eliminating alcohol intake lowers
inflammation, which contributes to heart disease and nearly
every other chronic disease.
Take quality supplements. Combined with a healthy
diet and exercise program, supplements can dramatically
improve cardiovascular health. Take a good multi-vitamin/
mineral along with a purified fish oil supplement. I also
recommend a fiber supplement to lower cholesterol and
balance blood sugar levels.
Get out and move! Research shows 30 to 45 minutes of
cardiovascular exercise at least five times a week can benefit
your heart. After all, your heart is a muscle, and muscles
need exercise. If you feel stronger and more capable, highintensity
interval training (also called burst training)
and strength training help build muscle, reduce body fat
composition and maintain strong bones. You simply cannot
age successfully without sufficient, optimal exercise.
Manage stress levels. Stress alone can cause a heart attack.
Sadly, chronic stress often triggers a cascade of events that
cause that final, fatal heart attack. Among its problems,
stress increases inflammation, raises your cholesterol and
blood sugar, increases blood pressure and even makes your
blood more likely to clot. Find your pause button to manage
stress and relax. Yoga, Tai Chi, meditation, breathing
techniques and guided imagery can lower stress.
About The Author
MARK HYMAN, MD
Mark Hyman, MD, is a practicing family physician, an
nine-time #1 New York Times bestselling author, and an
internationally recognized leader, speaker, educator, and
advocate in his field. He is the director of the Cleveland
Clinic Center for Functional Medicine. He is also the
founder and medical director of The UltraWellness Center,
chairman of the board of the Institute for Functional
Medicine, a medical editor of The Huffington Post, and
has been a regular medical contributor on many television
shows including CBS This Morning, the Today Show, CNN,
The View, the Katie Couric show and The Dr. Oz Show.
To Learn More Visit:
www.DrHyman.com

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ISSUE NO.116
JUNE 2020
RISE ABOVE
ALL RUNAWAY
REACTIONS
R
As events occur in our lives, it seems we always know exactly
what they mean for us. Then immediately we rush into what
feels like the appropriate emotional reaction.
Written by Guy Finley

E
Early on, as events occur
in our lives, it seems we always know exactly what they
mean for us. Then immediately we rush into what feels
like the appropriate emotional reaction.
That reaction further influences the way we view the
event, and in this way our initial response is confirmed.
We rarely question either our view of events or our
response to them.
As we are carried away unconsciously from one
automatic reaction to another, these conditioned
responses grow more entrenched. And with each
repetition, they feel more and more natural to us.
The likelihood that we will ever question them
diminishes. Our behavior grows more settled into these
mechanical responses and the way we view events
becomes increasingly rigid. As a result, we are taken
further away from the spontaneous lives we were meant
to enjoy.
But it’s not necessary to continue being defeated
by our own mechanical responses. We can learn to
recognize these “dark horse reactions” eager to take us
on a bad ride, before we are carried away by them.
If we know what many of these runaway reactions are,
the battle is half won. Fear is dark. Anger is dark. So are
anxiety, dread, self-pity, and feeling the whole weight of
the world upon our shoulders.
Add to this list the dark horses of hatred, revenge,
insistence on being right, impatience, and depression —
and you have most of those negative states which, if not
outright trampling us under their heartless hooves, are
certainly sources of unconscious torment.
Recognizing the true purpose of these harmful
reactions is not that complicated. You can be sure
you’ve taken the wrong horse - one that will lead you
on a punishing, pounding ride - whenever your inner
state has you feeling:
• like you’ve lost control
• frightened by what you see
• angry with yourself or another
• confused or anxious about where you’re headed
• pained in your present position
• hatred or resentment for someone else
• sorry you were ever born
• envious of anyone
• desperate for a solution
• certain nothing else counts besides fixing how you feel
Now, the truly amazing thing is that in spite of these
“rides” that wreck everything from our health to our
relationships, we still take them! Surely, if we were
aware of what we were doing, nothing on earth could
convince us to hop on what is hurting us. So, let’s see
what’s happening to cause us to continue making the
painful mistake.
An event occurs. We’re not sure how to react
so we naturally look for help. We know that a
right response is the same as a rescue. And it is.
But before we know it, up pops a self that always
comes complete with the appropriate thoughts
and feelings to support why we should let it be in
charge of the moment. Simply put, this is the dark
horse, and it’s there to carry us off. In the past,
we’ve always been so grateful for the arrival of that
response that told us who we were and what to do that
we never questioned it. But now we want to be selfruling
rather than get carried off by one ride after
another to nowhere.
Before we release ourselves into the hands of any
automatically appearing rescuing agent, we must first
take it into the light in order to see who sent it.
The higher power to choose what will carry us and
what won’t, is only as powerful as our willingness to
come to a special kind of psychic pause, an inner halt.
Momentarily anchoring ourselves in the fully present

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moment, we bring our own thoughts and
feelings into the light of consciousness
to see them for what they are. In that
moment, it’s not so much going with
what feels right as it is basing your
choice in seeing what is truly for you; in
knowing without thinking about it that
no negative state wants what is right
for you.
This exercise of taking a psychic
pause may sound as though it would
be easy, but it takes practice and
persistent effort. You see, it’s very
tempting to just let ourselves be carried
away. In fact, there’s nothing to it!
Then the rest of our time is spent
trying to straighten out the bad rides
we’ve taken. All this not only steals our
energy, but also keeps us from being
someplace real.
So now, we’re going to take that pause
before we believe that any automatic
response is the right one. We’re going to
just come wide-awake. This conscious
choice transforms us from a person
who is completely identified with the
runaway state into a person who is
aware of it. Through that awareness
we jump off the wild ride and into the
safety, sanity, and solid ground of the
present moment.
Jumping clear of your own jumbled
reactions takes special skills, but these
come to you as you see the need for
them. So, don’t get discouraged. Stay
off of that horse! The aim is to try to
be aware and know what’s happening,
so you don’t fall into the same mistake
again and again.
When we see ourselves looking for
a reaction and putting a light on it,
we make an effort to determine the
quality of the help that comes to get
us by first choosing to help ourselves
by stepping back from our own rush to
be rescued. Standing apart in this way
is the only way to see whether the
From The Story
“Momentarily
anchoring
ourselves
in the fully
present
moment, we
bring our own
thoughts and
feelings into
the light of
consciousness
to see them for
what they are.”
arriving solution is, for us in that moment,
true or false.
If we take that psychic pause that
empowers, and in it allow Reality to show
us that our real self cannot be hurt – or
betrayed – then we are free!
About The Author
GUY FINLEY
Guy Finley is an internationally renowned
spiritual teacher and bestselling self-help
author. He is the founder and director of Life
of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit center
for transcendent self-study located in Merlin,
Oregon. He also hosts the Foundation’s
Wisdom School — an on-line self-discovery
program for seekers of higher self-knowledge.
To Learn More Visit:
www.guyfinley.org

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ISSUE NO.116 JUNE 2020
Written by Joan Herrmann
Sometimes
It Just
Doesn’t Fit

This morning I was perusing a toy catalog, shopping
for a gift for a friend’s child, when I stumbled upon an
item that brought hours of enjoyment to my children.
It’s a square box that has different shapes cut out into
each side with accompanying matching pieces. The
goal of the toy is for children to fit each piece in its
corresponding hole thus learning to recognize shapes
and how to fit “like” things together.
My boys spent hours placing the various shapes
into their respective holes. Most times the pieces fit
together with ease, but on occasion, they would work
tirelessly trying to make the wrong piece fit into the
wrong hole: an oval in a circle; a square in a triangle;
a rectangle in a square.
As I reminisced about them
sitting on the floor working
at this task, I began to think
about how this activity mimics
what we do throughout our
life: work to make the pieces
fit. Sometimes our choices fit
perfectly, but sometimes we
expend tremendous energy
trying to make the wrong
relationships fit.
How many times have you
been in a friendship or romance
that didn’t work out? In most
situations, when the breakup
occurred, anger, heartbreak,
and disappointment soon
followed. Then blame. Someone
must be at fault! Someone was
wrong! You tried so hard so
why couldn’t it survive?
Instead of being consumed
with anger and resentment,
did you ever stop and think
that maybe, just maybe, it was
simply a wrong fit? And that
no one is to blame?
Like the pieces in the toy, each of us has an
individual design derived from life experiences. We
are each as unique as a circle, square, triangle or
octagon. When we make the right match, everything
fits perfectly, but when we have the wrong pieces, it
doesn’t work no matter how hard we push or on what
angle.
It would be ridiculous to say something is wrong
with the circle because it doesn’t fit in the square, we
recognize the shapes as being different, so why do we
make those claims about people? Why do we assign
blame to a person and then spend the rest of our life
being angry and resentful, thinking about what could
have been?
Perhaps a new perspective would be to view each
“Sometimes
our choices
fit perfectly,
but some–
times we
expend
tremendous
energy
trying to make
the wrong
relation–
ships fit.”
of us as the pieces of the toy – unique with our
own characteristics, perfect in our design – but
not always a fit, no matter how hard we try to
squeeze it together and how much we want it.
Perhaps looking at life experiences in this
way may make it easier to let go and stop
assigning blame. It may enable us to forgive
and move forward.
So, the next time you experience the loss
of a valued relationship, rather than being
consumed with anger and bitterness, just
release it. Try to view yourself and the other
person as shapes, different from each other,
but with their own purpose, beauty and value.
Perfect in their individuality, but they just
don’t fit!
About The Author
JOAN HERRMANN
Joan Herrmann is the creator of the Change
Your Attitude…Change Your life brand and host
of the radio show and podcast, Conversations
with Joan. She is a motivational speaker and the
publisher of 24 Seven magazine.
To Learn More Visit:
www.JoanHerrmann.com

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June 2020 Issue
Why Is It So Difficult To
Be A Positive Thinker?
Written by Allison Carmen
I have spent
most of my life
trying to be a
positive thinker.
Each morning,
I’d wake up
and try to put
a positive spin
on everything
in front of me. However, often times before I even got
out the door, something unexpected happened and I
would be thrown off course. It could have been as simple
as spilling my coffee and I would start to feel the day
was not going my way. Still, I would take a deep breath
and try to return to my positive thoughts; but as the
day went on it became harder to hold onto this positive
outlook. Sure, good things would happen to me each
day, but also unexpected events would happen that I
perceived as bad or “life not working out.”
As I started working as an attorney at a large law firm,
life became more complicated and so did my struggle
with positive thinking. I would still try to start each day
with positive thoughts but it became more apparent that
I couldn’t control the events around me. If a partner at
the law firm did not like my legal memorandum or the
firm lost a longstanding client, I projected what each
event might mean for my job in the future. I worried
that I might get fired or not get a raise. Sure, these were
only possibilities, but these thoughts consumed me each
day. My fear of the unknown and “what could happen
tomorrow” seemed to have a more powerful effect over

me than my positive thoughts. Ultimately, at the
end of most days, I felt negative and fearful of
what the future might bring.
Nevertheless, as the years passed, I persevered
and continued my journey of trying to be a
positive thinker. When I came across Norman
Vincent Peale’s, The Power of Positive Thinking, I
was so re-inspired that I tried even harder to be a
committed positive thinker. I began to hold onto
my positive thinking so tightly that, instead of
battling between negative and positive thoughts
as I had before, I now found I could force away
the negative thoughts with positive ones.
I later learned that there was a problem with
my new practice. I realized that we can’t push
down a negative thought completely, because it
stays inside us, festers and grows. In fact, after a
short while of only permitting positive thoughts,
I had a horrible nightmare in which many people
that I loved died. I woke up petrified and when
I fell asleep again I had the same dream.
I had never had the same dream twice
in one night or a dream with so much
negativity and loss. To this day, I believe
these nightmares surfaced because I was
not permitting my mind to be negative.
I was suppressing my feelings and then
the pressure became so great that my
mind released a tremendous amount of
negativity when I fell asleep and could
not consciously control my thinking.
After decades of struggling with the
pain and pressure of trying to shape my
perceptions, one day I heard a simple
Taoist story that introduced me to the
idea of Maybe. The very minute I heard
this story all the experiences in my life
immediately changed. I was struck with
the realization that every situation has
multiple possible outcomes and within
those outcomes is always the hope that
whatever is happening, Maybe it will
lead to something good, Maybe circumstances
will improve, or Maybe I will find a way to accept
the situation and still be okay.
For me, it was the perfect combination; I could
stay positive but with Maybe I could accept and
dilute my negative thoughts. Once I accepted that
life could unfold in infinite ways, I was no longer
stuck in my negative projections of the future. I
began to live with the continuous realization that
Maybe something else could happen other than
the thing I feared most. Since embracing Maybe
I am now a much more effective positive thinker.
Negative thoughts no longer hold sway over me
We can’t
push down
a negative
thought
completely,
because it
stays inside
us, festers
and grows.
because I know they are just a limited view of all
that is possible.
As I held this mindset of Maybe and transitioned
my work to become a business and life coach,
I started to see how many of us struggle with
positive thinking. In fact, most of us start each
new endeavor with hope and a positive outlook
that we will be successful. We start businesses,
take new jobs, save our money for a new home,
marry and much more. Then life throws us
a curveball and something happens that we
didn’t expect. The economy could change, we
could lose a good job, our business’ profit might
decrease dramatically or trouble might brew in an
important relationship.
For many of us, when we don’t see the results
that we had hoped for we worry and get stressed
that things won’t ever work out or will get even
worse. We create negative projections about what
the future will bring based on what happened in
the past. Because of this, some of us give up on our
dreams completely or we live with tremendous
stress and worry that leads to serious emotional
pain and sometimes even physical illness.
With the mindset of Maybe we can hold on to our
goals and just find new ways to achieve them. We
can stay positive and open because we hold onto
the realization that we are not “stuck” and that
life can unfold in many ways. We are not “leaving
things to chance” but instead we are expanding
our minds to embrace all that is possible. In turn,
Maybe shows us more opportunities to find the
life we are seeking.
I hope you are able to embrace Maybe in your
life. It is just one simple word, but MAYBE it
changes everything.
About The Author
ALLISON CARMEN
Allison Carmen is a business consultant, business/
life coach, and author of The Gift of Maybe:
Offering Hope and Possibility in Uncertain Times,
published by Penguin Random House. Allison’s
podcast, 10 Minutes to Less Suffering, provides
simple tools to reduce daily stress and worry. Allison
is a blogger for Psychology Today, Huffington
Post, Thrive Global and Mind Body Green.
To Learn More Visit:
www.AllisonCarmen.com

Can you relate?
We can help.
• Chronic Disorganization
• Professional Women
• Divorce Organizing Support
• Estate Organizing
• Kosher Organizing
Gayle M. Gruenberg, CPO-CD ®
Chief Executive Organizer of Let’s Get Organized, LLC Creator of the Make Space for Blessings System
LGOrganized.com 201-364-6833 Gayle@LGOrganized.com

June 2020 Issue
Organizing Small Spaces
Written by Gayle M. Gruenberg, CPO-CD ®
S
Single-family homes are
becoming too time and energy consuming
to maintain. Condo communities are
popping up like mushrooms after a rain.
Tiny houses are all the rage. Some people
are giving up their mansions for a motorhome.
Are you now or would you like to
be living in a small space, but you have
enough stuff to fill an airplane hangar?
While it can be a challenge to go from
expansive to contracted living, it’s also an
opportunity.
How do we achieve an organized small
space?
The first step is to have the right
mindset. If you’re claustrophobic, small
space living may not be for you. It may feel
like the walls are closing in on you, even if
the room is empty. If feeling cozy sounds
appealing, then let’s continue.
Pare down to the essentials. I advocate
organizing according to our core values.
Dwelling in a small space is the perfect
way to identify what is truly important
and live according to that criterion. To
paraphrase 19th century architect William
Morris, keep only what you love, know to
be useful, or believe to be beautiful. Let
the rest go.
We tend to use 20 percent of our stuff
80 percent of the time. That means we
can purge four times as much as we keep.
If something doesn’t satisfy your body,
heart, soul, or mind, you probably don’t
need to hold onto it.
Next, contain. Remember the old adage,
“A place for everything and everything
in its place”? Think of the phrase “ship
shape.” Only what is needed is kept, and
everything has a home. That mindset is
essential for safely and healthfully living
in small spaces.
Choose furniture pieces, sized for small
spaces, that will do multiple jobs, like a
storage ottoman or a coffee table with
drawers and a lift-up top. Having fewer
pieces that can multitask eliminates the
need for more stuff and creates more
open space.
In the office, a standing desk may
have a small footprint, eliminates the
need for a chair, and provides the bonus
opportunity to burn a few calories while
working. Consider receiving documents
only electronically, scanning and recycling
or shredding most existing documents,
and eliminating a file cabinet.
Utilize every possible nook and cranny.
Be creative. Look critically at your home
or office to identify overlooked and
underutilized areas where things can be
stored. Use the insides of cabinet doors
and the backs of room doors. These are
hidden spaces that keep things organized
yet out of sight, which helps to create a
serene and peaceful environment.
Go vertical. Use the walls and hang
as much as possible. This gets things off
the floor and makes a room appear to be
bigger. Hooks and mesh shoe pockets are
some of the tools I like to use most often.
The final step is to mindfully maintain
your small, organized space every day.
Put things back after you use them and
return things to their proper homes if
they wander away.
About The Author
GAYLE M. GRUENBERG
Gayle M. Gruenberg, CPO-CD ® is the chief
executive organizer of Let’s Get Organized,
LLC, an organizer coach, and the creator of
the Make Space for Blessings system.
To Learn More Visit:
www.LGOrganized.com

Communication:
A Key to
Managing
Burnout and
Stress
Written by Lorie Gardner, RN, NBC-HWC
T
The COVID-19 pandemic
has shaken us to our core physically, mentally
and economically. This has caused extreme
stress. Burnout and stress are common
worldwide problems.
We are overloaded by news, updates,
warnings, dire predictions, and fear for our
abilities to care for ourselves in this new
world. We have been isolated in our homes.
Our daily routines have been turned upside
down. What once came easy, like finding toilet
paper and basic necessities of life, is now an
everyday challenge.
We may continue to have challenges related
to recovery to this pandemic and this can
be hard. So, how do we move forward and

manage this stress, and
what does communication
have to do with managing
stress?
Worry and fear caused
by chronic stress begins
in the mind and can have
negative consequences in
both the brain and the body.
Communication with self is
the beginning of learning
how to cope and manage
your stress. You may not be
able to change all of your
circumstances, but you do
have some control over how
you react.
Stress and Brain Function
It is important to know
that what happens in your
mind affects your body. In
a state of chronic worry
and stress, an imbalance is
caused in your body and it
affects every cell in your body. It can affect
brain function, which can affect your memory
and decision making. Inflammation can also
be a side effect of chronic stress, which could
lead to disease.
What if you could break that mental
pattern of chronic worrying? What if you
could retrain your brain to “break the cycle”
of fear and worry to adapt new powers to cope
and move forward? This is possible but takes
some self-communication. It takes a desire
to become aware of what your thoughts are
doing to you. Rather than getting caught up
in an anxious thought, your self-awareness of
what that thought is doing to your body and if
it is actually true in this moment, can be the
start to breaking that mental pattern.
Communication Helps
It is important to be in communication with
yourself regarding your feelings and how you
are coping. Often, you may be hesitant to ask
for help. You think there are others under
more stress. You may feel vulnerable and weak
asking for help. You may not want to burden
anyone with your woes. You want to seem like
you have it all together and are self-reliant.
Here is where communication is important.
Asking for support and help is not a sign of
weakness, but rather a sign of strength and
From The Story
“Worry and
fear caused by
chronic stress
begins in the
mind and can
have negative
consequences
in both the
brain and the
body.”
self-awareness. Stress, anxiety, and worry are
not to be ignored.
Communicating the things for which you are
grateful in the present moment can minimize
stress and increase hope. When you increase
your level of hope, you are more likely to be
solution oriented and find answers to your
problems.
Tips to Manage Stress
Focus on beep breathing. This will relax you
providing space to identify your needs.
Question thoughts. Are your fears and
anxieties true at this moment? A majority of
what you worry about never actually happens.
As you challenge whether a thought is true,
you will develop more balance and calm.
Develop a support system. Identify who
your support system is and communicate with
them. Share yourself and your feelings.
Create a daily plan. Make a daily to-do list
to keep you focused and on task. This can
minimize “mind wandering” if you can go from
one task to another. Practice deep breathing
between tasks and applaud yourself for each
accomplishment, no matter how small.
Practice gratitude. Spend some time each
day focused on what you have or what is
happening that you can be grateful for.
Eat healthy. Focus on eating healthy foods
and minimize sugar, caffeine, and alcohol.
Exercise. Plan your favorite way to exercise
regularly.
Sleep well. Try practicing good sleep hygiene
to improve your ability to sleep soundly. Keep
a list of “worry items” and add to them as
needed. Dedicate yourself to letting these all
go in the early evening and finding positive
thoughts to focus on in preparation for sleep.
About The Author
LORIE GARDNER
Lorie Gardner RN, BSN, NBC-HWC, founded
Healthlink Advocates, Inc., to assist people
with all aspects of their healthcare. As a
private nurse patient advocate and boardcertified
health and wellness coach, she
partners with clients seeking assistance
navigating the complex healthcare system
and those seeking self-directed, lasting health
improvements aligned with their values.
To Learn More Visit:
www.healthlinkadvocates.com

June 2020 Issue
A Path to Healing
From Shock And Trauma
Written by Linda Mitchell, CPC
S
Somewhere along this journey,
we’ll all encounter some type of overwhelming adversity or
trauma that challenges or changes us. When life pulls the
rug out from under us, we feel out of control, anxious, and
uncertain. Our confidence is shaken, and we’re consumed
with fear and worry. How do we process and release grief, loss
or pain and return to some semblance of normalcy?
There are several stages in the process. We must honor
ourselves with time, self-compassion and honest introspection
in order to heal. Pain, grief or trauma leave deep imprints that
can alter our identity if the mind relives a trauma over and
over without truly getting beyond it.
Unresolved emotions and issues land in our bodies causing
physical pain which compounds the hardship. While there is
virtually no way to forget life-altering circumstances, being
able to heal is a vital component of living a happy, healthy life.
These tips will help you begin moving beyond the darkness
into the light:
Practice self-compassion, seek support and resist
temptation to self-medicate. When just executing the
activities of daily life feels challenging, it’s imperative to seek
support. Don’t go it alone. Some tend to shut the whole world
out but that simply encourages marinating in the pain. Accept
favors and gestures that lighten your load. Be gentle and treat
yourself as you would treat your best friend.
Tempting escapes like comfort food, alcohol, smoking or
shopping only feel good in the moment and typically result
in feeling worse afterwards. The last thing you need is
to pile on guilt, shame or self-loathing. Instead, take baby
steps toward goals that lift you up. Walk in nature, call
a friend, enjoy a healthy nourishing meal. Don’t expect
perfection. Use the 51% rule: if you’re doing something good
for yourself 51% of the time, it’s technically the majority
of the time. Celebrate that and take another small but
helpful step forward. It’s about progress, not perfection.
Allow emotions to surface. Be real, don’t stifle your
emotions, acknowledge them. You can’t dance around
difficult emotions - you have to travel through them.
Distracting yourself or stuffing emotions simply means
they’ll reappear again later. Allow yourself a good cry, even
a short pity party as long as you don’t unpack and live there.
Dealing is healing. Stuffing is postponing the inevitable.
Find an uplifting spiritual practice. Try yoga, journaling
your feelings and musings, reading spiritual or uplifting
messages, practicing meditation or prayer, playing music or
anything that gives you hope and allows for quiet reflection.
These practices bolster connection to your inner wisdom and
guidance.
Practice gratitude. Sound unthinkable? Maybe, but
gratitude assists healing. Those who find things to be grateful
for create a faster and easier path to wholeness. Ask yourself
– What’s good in my life right now? It’s impossible to be in
a state of gratitude and anger or fear at the same time. Try
these tips to regain balance, wholeness, move forward and
truly heal. You deserve it.
About The Author
LINDA MITCHELL
Linda Mitchell is a board certified coach, speaker,
and reinvention expert. She empowers people that are
stuck, overwhelmed, or ready for change to release
the struggle and gain clarity, balance, and radiant health
as they step into their highest purpose and move through
life’s challenges and transitions.
To Learn More Visit:
www.LivingInspiredCoaching.com

June 2020 Issue
Midlife Is No Crisis — It’s Grief
Written by Janna Lopez
W
People often ask how I
got through it. By “it” they mean the funky
dark mass of midlife junk. You know, the
time from when everything you believed
about your self, life, and your being, made
sense. Then one day, one month, or one year,
they didn’t.
Something happened. Someone
you loved died, you received a disease
diagnosis, a child left the nest, or maybe a
decades-long marriage ended. Life became
overwhelmed by change, sadness, and
confusion. Calling such radical midlife
transitions a “crisis” is a superficial term
for a complicated juncture. This entire
conversation needs reframing.
In the midst of the transitions is another
often overlooked, mostly never talked
about element: the loss of identity and
subsequent grief.
I’ve discovered that midlife is actually
a profound time for mourning the loss of
connection to and understanding of, one’s
self. Whatever individual circumstances turn
your world upside down, a common thread
is a buried cesspool of unnamed grief.
This goes beyond not becoming who
we’d thought we’d become, or not getting a
promotion we thought we would. Whatever
it is that shifts in midlife, (and something will,
it’s inevitable), this shakes the foundation of
what we believed to be true about who we
are in the world. This leaves us with heads
spinning. But more to the core, to our truth
and our foundation, it leaves us clutching
completely crushed hearts.
I believe midlife wounds us in ways
we don’t fully understand. We’re often
disassociated. Angry at ourselves. Searching
for ways to move forward, yet what we once
did to change emotional channels, or tools
we once applied, no longer work. There’s a
layer of helplessness.
Back to the question at hand: how did I
get through? Here are three among many
things I learned.
First, I had to acknowledge that these
midlife intersections of time, place, and
circumstance craft perfect storms for lost
identity. I donned this particular juncture
the “dark flight of the self”. By understanding
I was in something I couldn’t necessarily
“fix” or “do” differently helped me feel less
crazy.
Second, I had the stark realization
that the changes were part of and left a
groundswell of deeply rooted grief that
needed to be named, acknowledged as
such, and specifically attended to. Grief is
complicated and has its own rhythm.
This leads to my third insight. Knowing
it was grief meant I could be a little kinder
to myself along the way. Would you ever tell
someone in grief to hurry up and get their
act together? The same grace should be
provided from and to your self.
When midlife circumstances drastically
change, a foundation of our identity
dies, too. We’re left searching for familiar
fragments of who we are for comfort,
clarity, and connection. Please be kind to
yourself as you navigate through midlife’s
dark flight of the self. This isn’t a crisis,
you’re not crazy, nor alone. You’re doing
your best to fly your way through a forever
transformative realm of grief.
About The Author
JANNA LOPEZ
Janna Lopez is a speaker, midlife coach,
and author of Me, My Selfie & Eye - A Midlife
Conversation About Lost Identity, Grief and
Seeing Who You Are.
To Learn More Visit:
www.jannalopez.com

ISSUE NO.116
JUNE 2020
REACHING
FOR JOY IN
ISOLATION
When I was a young girl growing up in a small town in Minnesota, my mother
drank too much. Her drinking separated us from neighbors, relatives, and sadly,
from each other. We existed in a strange state of isolation.
Written by Julie Evans

E
Early on, I learned to busy
myself by rearranging and polishing the furniture, raking
the shag carpeting, and dragging heavy dresser drawers
into the TV room to organize.
Today, nearly 60 years later in the midst of a global
pandemic, I just finished doing the same thing.
During this time of isolation, I have found myself or
parts of myself, that were buried beneath the rubble of
the trauma of my early years. My mother’s life was full of
tragedy and loss. So was mine. By the time I was 17, she
was dead of cirrhosis and I muscled through the loss of
her company and love on my own and found my way into
a profession that helps people recover and feel better.
For 40 years I have given massages in my home office, in
hospitals, nursing homes, and in a free mobile alternative
health clinic. During Covid19 my hands are tied. I can’t
work on people with my hands but maybe I can still touch
them through my writing.
I opened my laptop and stared at the blank page. My
eyes wandered to a neglected pile of papers on my desk.
I picked up a list from last spring with the words ‘buy
a bluebird house’ scribbled above this quote from Steve
Jobs: “Remembering that you are going to die is the
best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have
something to lose. You are already naked. There is no
reason not to follow your heart.”
His words stirred something within me, but my fingers
just rested upon the keys. I didn’t know what to write so
I closed my laptop and headed out for a walk.
As I crossed a little bridge over the stream I wondered
if I’ve forgotten to live my life as if time were running out.
Why don’t I take more chances and go for what I want
with everything I have?
As I walked the familiar path a bluebird flittered from
branch to branch and tree to tree. I was caught up in
its flight. It happens every time. I fell in love with that
bluebird. Even in her aloneness she seemed so complete,
so at peace with the world, her color so vibrant against
the sky. How glorious she dipped and soared.
I once had bluebird houses, but my dear goat, Willie
Belle, took it as his mission in life to butt the 4x4 posts
they were mounted on to the ground. After Willie died,
I didn’t have the heart to move them so those bluebird
houses got broken and rotted away. They, like so many
other things in my life need to be replaced.
I hurried home, put on my mask and gloves and
ventured out into the world to buy a bluebird house.
It is time.
Time to get rid of limiting thoughts and behaviors and
get started living the life I dream of. Time to break up
the hard ground and do some inner gardening. What
seeds do we want to sow into this beautiful world of
ours? I am hopeful that there is something courageous
going on right now in my heart, my yard, and my world.
The bluebird house is a step toward something
wonderful. It feels like I am finally ready to address
what is lacking or in need of renewal. In this time of
fear, suffering, and loss, we need to hold on to our joy
and inner peace more than ever.
About The Author
JULIE EVANS
Julie Evans is the author of the book, Joy Road:
My Journey from Addiction to Recovery.
To Learn More Visit:
www.WordsByJulieEvans.com