Prevention and combating cyber bullying and internet violence among youth
This manual is developed as part of the project: “Prevention and combating cyber bullying and internet violence among youth”. Manual presents 10 educational workshops, each in duration from 45 to 90 minutes. Workshops are developed in a way that they can be used by trainers, facilitators, pedagogues, teachers; in training courses, educational sessions, camps, school classes, extra curricula activities etc.
This manual is developed as part of the project: “Prevention and combating cyber bullying and internet violence among youth”. Manual presents 10 educational workshops, each in duration from 45 to 90 minutes. Workshops are developed in a way that they can be used by trainers, facilitators, pedagogues, teachers; in training courses, educational sessions, camps, school classes, extra curricula activities etc.
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Prevention and combating
cyber bullying and internet
violence among youth
INSTITUT ZA RAZVOJ
CIVILNOG DRUŠTVA
- IRCD -
Belgrade, 2020
Prevention and combating cyber bullying and
internet violence among youth
- manual for youth workers -
Authors:
Nedim Mičijević
Pavle Jevđić
The European Commission's support for the production of this publication does not
constitute an endorsement of the contents, which reflect the views only of the
authors, and the Commission cannot be held responsible for any use which may be
made of the information contained therein.
INSTITUT ZA RAZVOJ CIVILNOG DRUŠTVA
Table of Contents
1. Introduction .......................................................................................................................... 1
1.1. What this manual is about ............................................................................................... 1
1.2. Non-formal approach to the education ............................................................................ 1
1.2.1. Methods that are present in the manual .................................................................... 2
1.3. Educational basis of the manual ...................................................................................... 5
1.4. About the manual - how to use it .................................................................................... 6
2. Workshops ............................................................................................................................ 8
Workshop 1: Identities – sex and gender ................................................................... 9
Workshop 2: Can we love the same sex person? ..................................................... 13
Workshop 3: Understanding trans* ......................................................................... 16
Workshop 4: Violence ............................................................................................. 19
Workshop 5: What is cyber bullying and internet violence .................................... 26
Workshop 6: If you post it online, then everyone can see it .................................... 31
Workshop 7: Understanding the cycle of violence .................................................. 35
Workshop 8: Communication styles (aggressive, passive, or assertive style)......... 39
Workshop 9: Assess the situation ............................................................................ 43
Workshop 10: Breaking the silence and getting help .............................................. 46
Sources ..................................................................................................................................... 48
Prevention and combating cyber bullying and internet violence among youth
– manual for youth workers –
1. Introduction
1.1. What this manual is about
This manual is developed as part of the project: “Prevention and combating cyber bullying and
internet violence among youth”. Manual presents 10 educational workshops, each in duration
from 45 to 90 minutes. Workshops are developed in a way that they can be used by trainers,
facilitators, pedagogues, teachers; in training courses, educational sessions, camps, school
classes, extra curricula activities etc.
Flow of the workshops is developed in a way that participants first learn about identities, what
is sex and what is gender and how sex and gender are part of what we are and how we see
ourselves – our identity. In second workshop participants talk and discuss what is love and can
someone love same sex person. In this workshops participants have a chance to go through
different stories and see what love means from different angles and points of view. Important
aspect of the manual is to better understand transgender and transsexual people, thus the third
workshop is developed with that aim. We have used guided story for this purpose. In fourth,
fifth and sixth workshop participants are learning more about violence, different forms of
violence and cyber/online violence and how to be aware and what to do if someone is bullying
them on internet. Last four workshops in the manual are developed for participants to
understand the cycle of violence, think about different communication strategies and how those
strategies are connected to violence and violence prevention, accessing situations and
developing skills for resolving conflicts and to discuss about breaking the silence when it comes
to online violence but also other forms of violence.
1.2. Non-formal approach to the education
In this manual we have decided to use non-formal approach to education. Why? Because we
think that experiential way of learning (experiencing a situation in a form of reading a story,
analysing some story(ies), or doing a role play) is a best way for a person to acquire new
information, and later think about her or his attitudes. That’s the basic concept behind
workshops presented in this manual. We’ve developed a flow of workshop in which you start
with an introduction to the topic for participants. Then you give some smaller participatory
tasks to participants. At the end participants have a chance to discuss about the given topic and,
with your help, make a conclusion.
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Prevention and combating cyber bullying and internet violence among youth
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Aim of each of the workshops is not to change opinion or attitude of a participant, but rather to
present new angle of seeing things and make participant think about his or her attitudes and
previous behaviours. For that reason, we are using non-formal education as an approach to work
with participants on given topics.
Non-formal learning takes place outside formal learning environments but within some kind of
organisational framework. It arises from the learner’s conscious decision to master a particular
activity, skill or area of knowledge and is thus the result of intentional effort. But it need not
follow a formal syllabus or be governed by external accreditation and assessment. Non-formal
learning typically takes place in community settings: youth club, association, organisation,
sports clubs of various kinds for all ages, reading groups, debating societies, amateur choirs and
orchestras, and so on.
1.2.1. Methods that are present in the manual
In this manual we have used many methods aiming to involve participants in the topic as much
as possible. Below we are presenting some of the methods that we used, but also some
additional methods that you can use in work with groups. We have provided description of the
methods, characteristics of each of the method, suggestion when to use it and what are the
specific limitations of each of the methods.
These, and much more methods can be found in Educational Toolkit for Teachers, developed
by Predstavništvo CARE Serbia in Belgrade, 2018. (p. 316. – 320.)
Method Characteristics Description When to use Limitations
Lecture Telling the
group on the
basis of preprepared
materials or
notes.
The leader
represents the
topic to the
group/club.
Discussion
Discussion of a
problem that is
common to all
members of a
The leader
represents the
topic to the
group/club. The
When
participants are
already familiar
with the topic
and when the
group is large
(10-15
members). Also,
when a large
amount of
information is
concerned, it
requires a
lecture.
This method
can be applied
when
participants are
This method is
least effective,
because
listeners
remember the
lease
information and
their
applications in
practice. Also,
listeners can
quickly lose
their attention.
There is a
possibility that
not everyone
will be equally
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Icebreaker
group/club. The
conclusions
should be in line
with the
questions asked
at the beginning
of the
discussion.
Short activity
with
participants
aimed at
creating a nonformal
atmosphere in
the group and
bringing
participants
closer to each
other.
leader presents
provocative
statements or
questions, preprepared
that
might stimulate
the participants
to engage in
discussion.
The leader
leads, most
often physical
activities in
which the
participants are
in direct contact
(physical,
verbal...) He/she
can, but also do
not have to be
connected with
the topic.
already familiar
with the topic
and have prior
knowledge.
The aim is to
overcome the
barrier in
communication,
contributing to a
better nonformal
atmosphere.
The selected
activity should
be reflected on
all the
specificities in
the group.
involved in the
discussion,
especially in
new groups.
There is a
possibility that
participants will
refuse to
participate in
"children's
games".
Rejection is
actually
happening
because of the
fear of physical
contact with
strangers.
Brainstorming
It aims to
produce as
many
alternative
solutions or
answers as
possible for a
given problem
or topic.
Quantitative
method. We do
not estimate the
received ideas,
they are further
developed.
In order to
create many
creative ideas, it
is best to use
work in smaller
groups (of five,
six
participants).
The same is
used when
starting with a
new topic.
Outcomes can
be different.
Much energy is
focused on
analysing and
creating new
ideas.
Group work
Participants are
divided into
several smaller
groups in which
they discuss one
or more of the
given topics.
The groups
discuss and
work together
on a given topic
and after a
given time limit
they have the
task of
presenting
This gives the
opportunity for
better
discussion,
interaction and
better exchange
of opinions
within the
group. It also
Usually it is not
facilitated, so
there is a
possibility that
the method will
not be
successful. One
of the
limitations can
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Prevention and combating cyber bullying and internet violence among youth
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Role play
Group members
have the
opportunity to
behave in
accordance with
the given
simulated
situation over a
specific time.
group work to
other
participants.
Division into
groups should
be using a
random method.
The only
exception is
when you need
to create groups
based on the
previous
experience of
the participants.
If the division
into groups is
done according
to some criteria,
the participants
should be
presented with
the criteria.
The focus is on
learning
potential
behaviours, not
on conclusions.
Real roles from
life can be
included, all
changes are
allowed. Watch
the groups.
After the
activities, the
participants
analyse together
the attitudes and
behaviour of
certain roles.
gives more
space to "quiet"
participants.
One of the most
common
methods.
This method
can be used
when there are
different views
and opinions
about the same
situation. This
allows frequent
contradictory
behaviour to be
seen, and
provides an
opportunity for
the analysis
with the
minimal risk.
Role plays show
the importance
of tolerance to
different
opinions.
also be that the
space for
expressing
opinion is taken
by the more
dominant
participants, and
the quiet ones
remain aside.
The role play
requires
participants to
feel comfortable
and secure.
Using this
method at the
very beginning
can cause that
participants
reject the
training itself or
the trainer. This
method involves
a lot of
emotions,
followed by a
section that is
an introduction
to the topic
dealing with
emotions.
Participants
should get out
of their roles
before
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Case analysis
Discussion
groups
Members
analyse the
prepared
description of
the problem
situation. It is
customary to
use a situation
written and
prepared on the
paper.
Small groups
for discussion,
in which
participants
share their
views on a
given topic;
without the
presence of a
leader.
Individual or
group work
when
participants
seek answers
for a particular
situation. The
situation should
be realistic
(something that
happened or
could
potentially
happen).
This method
allows the
opening of a
discussion
where
participants lead
the process. The
basic rule is that
information is
not reported
outside the
group without
the approval of
all members.
Theoretical
knowledge is
gained through
the practical and
through specific
examples that
we analyse.
Most often, in
the evening -
after the end of
the activity,
participants can
express their
opinions,
feelings,
evaluate
methods,
approaches of
team members
and the group
itself.
consideration
and analysis.
Insufficient time
can be a
limitation for
good
understanding
and case
analysis. It is
difficult to
make a good
case analysis
(sufficient facts,
updated
information,
understanding
logic with ease).
Shifting from
one topic to
another, chaos
during a
conversation
when the leader
is not present
can be
limitations.
1.3. Educational basis of the manual
Basis of this manual is education, especially in field of prevention of online violence/cyber
bullying and any other forms of violence (such as violence based on someone’s gender, sex,
attitude, wardrobe etc.). Manual that you are holding in your hands contains clear instructions
and information that are important for organising, coordinating and implementing educational
workshops.
Manual is primarily developed for youth organisations and youth workers/facilitators within
the organisations who want to organise educational workshops with youth on topics provided
through the workshops in the manual. Taking into account that non-formal approach to
education is often considered and used in schools and other more formal oriented institutions,
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we have developed workshops in a way that they can easily be transformed into shorter
workshops or be implemented in two consecutive classes.
Traditional approaches to learning and studying forecast that with sufficient knowledge a young
person automatically has enough competence to make adequate and “healthier” decisions. The
new approach that we promote in the manual is significantly more complex than traditional
“ex-department/cathedra“ approaches and is harmonized with most modern educational
standards. Besides relevant knowledge, manual encourages adoption of relevant information
and values and motivates young person to make informed decisions with more self-confidence
as they face different challenges.
We have created this manual and are offering it to youth clubs, non-governement organisations,
associations, non-formal groups, schools, trainers, facilitators and individuals for free usage so
they can use it as a valuable resource for promoting responsible, non-violent and gender
equality decision making.
1.4. About the manual - how to use it
The manual is intended for use by trainers, educators, facilitators, professional staff, teachers,
professors, experts or volunteer that work or would like to work with young people. Each of
the workshops is designed to last between 45 to 90 minutes and can be implemented in different
environments; from local youth club, non-governmental organisation, youth association,
school, sport clubs to schools, parks, training courses, seminars etc. It’s necessary for person
who is planning and implementing workshops to foster a safe environment for participants so
they can learn and complete different tasks and exercises included in the workshops.
Activities are based on a model of experiential learning in which young people are encouraged
to examine and analyse their life experiences, related to topics of violence, online violence,
gender equality and understanding others. Workshops engage participants to think about how
they can make positive changes in their lives and communities. This examination and change
process takes time. Manual is intended to be use as a whole, as opposed to using just one or
two stand-alone workshops. It can be a case that only one of the workshops or only few of them,
are used; but for best results and outcomes of work we recommend using the whole set of
workshops. Many of the workshops complement each other and when used together inspire
richer and more productive engagement than when used alone.
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Also, the activities function better with smaller groups (i.e., 8 to 25 people), although it is also
possible to work with bigger groups. But a group that is too big can decrease the opportunity
for everyone to participate to the fullest extent.
Experienced facilitators are the key to a successful group educational process. Before starting
to work with young people, facilitators must know themes from this manual, have experience
working with young people, and have the support of their institution(s), organization(s), and/or
other adults for the implementation of these activities. The main role of the facilitator is to
create an open and honest environment full of mutual respect where there are no prejudgments,
attitudes, language, or behaviour critical of young people. Since conflict might occur during
heated discussion, it is necessary for the facilitator to have the necessary skills to intervene in
such situations and to promote respect for differing opinions.
Workshops need to be implemented in a private and comfortable space in which participants
can move freely. Many young people like to move and it can be helpful for better inclusion into
activities.
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2. Workshops
All of the below presented workshops in this manual make a complete learning program for
participants of workshops. Even though all of the workshops do make a complete learning
program, you are free to choose and combine those workshops that you see most need for
implementing with specific groups of youngsters you work with. With this freedom of choice,
the sequence and final concept used may vary. Modular and interactive teaching that is visible
through the workshops can increase participation of participants in the learning process.
Learning process that is proposed throughout the workshops is based on the principle
“participants in the centre”. All workshops are based on the principle that youth worker who is
using this manual is the person that facilitates each workshop and encourages and stimulates
youngsters participation by using pedagogical principles and standards.
Participants are an important resource and potential allies in the learning process. Their active
participation ensures that their voice, stance, opinion, and current ways of thinking about certain
subjects are incorporated into each workshop. In this way, participants can feel a greater level
of ownership over workshop outcomes. They help to shape the outcomes while the youth
worker/educator helps to guide that process toward desirable constructs and conclusions.
During workshops, participants are addressing certain questions, but they are also directly
involved in analysis of the case studies. Participants can offer and discuss what might be
adequate solutions and alternatives, which allows them to analyse conclusions before adopting
them. This process allows participants to analyse specific problems in a greater variety of ways
than they might otherwise consider and they can offer solutions under the supervision of youth
worker/educator.
Workshops presented in this manual do not require specific facilities. Most of the workshops
can be implemented in out-of-building environments (i.e. parks). This can further enhance the
experience by offering additional freedom to use and environment that relates to the theme,
area, and concept of the workshops.
Duration of workshops is between 45 to 90 minutes, mostly depending on interest of the
participants and size of the group.
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Workshop 1: Identities – sex and gender
Duration of the workshop: 45 minutes
Materials needed: Flipchart paper, tape, and markers.
Aim
To understand the differences between sex and gender and reflect on how gender norms
influence the lives and identities of women and men.
Guide for facilitator
Note for facilitator
Before carrying out this activity, it is important that the facilitator understand the differences
between sex and gender.
Sex is biological – that is, we are born with male or female reproductive organs. Gender is how
we are socialized – that is, how attitudes, behaviour, and expectations are formed based on what
society associates with being a woman or being a man. These characteristics can be learned
from family members, friends, cultural and religious institutions, and the workplace. (CARE
International, 2011.)
Some participants might confuse gender with sexual orientation. It is important to clarify
that gender is a sociocultural construct by which certain attitudes and behaviours are assigned
to individuals based on their physical and hormonal attributes. Sexual orientation, on the other
hand, is the feeling of being able to relate romantically and sexually towards someone of the
opposite sex (heterosexual), the same sex (homosexual), or persons of both sexes (bisexual).
Independent of one’s sexual orientation, every individual is influenced by social expectations
based on their sex. (CARE International, 2016.)
During the discussion part of the workshop, facilitator should be careful not to go into extreme
positions or seem as if she/he is against women/men participating in any activity or behaviour
associated with their traditional gender roles. The discussion should move toward the
conclusion that everyone should have a real choice in life. For example, it is acceptable for a
woman to be a housewife as long as it is her choice and not something forced on to her by
gender roles, family, or society, and that she feels empowered to make decisions for herself.
Another example is that for a man it is acceptable to be a sole provider for his family, as long
as it’s his choice and choice which is considered fair both by him and his partner; and not
something that he feels obliged to do based on society rules, gender role etc. Choice is important
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Prevention and combating cyber bullying and internet violence among youth
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to the individual and his/her fulfilment and happiness. A society that views its members
according to only their gender roles is a one in which everyone is limited by other people’s
expectations.
It is also important that gender and sex are not presented as rigid or dichotomous identities.
During the activity, the facilitator might want to discuss how transgender and transsexual
people do not fit within these traditional gender and sex categories. Transgender people do not
identify with the gender to which they were assigned at birth, such as an individual who was
born female but identifies as male. Transsexual people are those who choose to medically
transition to the gender that feels right for them. Intersexual (also known as hermaphrodites)
are persons born with partially or fully developed male and female and sex organs. (CARE
International, 2016, p.45)
Step by step guide
Draw a line on flipchart paper to divide a page of the flipchart into two columns (or use
two large pieces of paper).
At the top of the first column write “woman.” In the second column write “man.”
Ask participants to think of words and phrases associated with the idea of “being a
woman”. Write these in the first column while they are being said. The responses can be positive
or negative. Help the participants mention both social and biological characteristics.
Repeat the same step for the “man” column.
participants.
Briefly review the characteristics listed in each column – read them aloud to
Exchange the titles of the columns by putting “woman” in the place of “man” and vice
versa. Ask the participants if the characteristics mentioned for women could be attributed to
men and vice versa. Put “x” over the words and attribution/characteristic that can be used for
both a man and a woman. Put circle around those attributes that are unique only for a man or a
woman.
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Use the questions below to facilitate a discussion about which characteristics the
participants do not think can be attributed to both men and women, and why. It is important
that these sex and gender categories are not presented as rigid or strictly dichotomous.
Discussion
1. What does it mean to be a woman?
2. What does it mean to be a man?
3. Do you think men and women are raised the same way? Why or why not?
4. What characteristics attributed to women and men are valued as positive or negative by
our society?
5. What would it be like for a woman to assume gender characteristics traditionally
associated with men? Would it be hard or easy?
6. How would it be for men to assume gender characteristics traditionally assigned to
women? Would it be hard or easy?
7. How do our families and friends influence our ideas of how women and men should
look and act?
8. Are boys and girls given the same toys? Why or why not?
9. How does media (television, magazines, radio, etc.) influence our ideas of how women
and men should look and act?
10. Is there a relationship between gender and power? Explain.
11. How do different expectations of how women and men should look and act affect your
daily lives? Your relationships with family? Your relationships with intimate partners?
12. How can you, in your own lives, challenge some of the negative, or non-equitable, ways
that men are expected to act? How can you challenge some of the negative, or nonequitable,
ways that women are expected to act?
13. What did we learn with this activity? Is there anything we can apply to our own lives or
relationships?
11
Conclusion
Prevention and combating cyber bullying and internet violence among youth
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Throughout their lives, women and men receive messages from family, media, and society
about how they should act and how they should relate to each other. It is important to understand
that, although there are differences between men and women, many of these differences are
constructed by society and are not part of nature or biological make-up. Even so, these
differences can have fundamental impacts on women’s and men’s daily lives and relationships.
For example, a man is often expected to be strong and dominant in his relationships with others,
including with his intimate partners. At the same time, a woman is often expected to be
submissive to a man’s authority. Many of these rigid gender stereotypes have consequences for
both men and women. As we become more aware of how gender stereotypes can negatively
impact our lives and communities, we can think constructively about how to challenge them
and promote more positive gender roles and relations in our lives and communities. (CARE
International, 2016, p.47)
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Workshop 2: Can we love the same sex person?
Duration of the workshop: 90 minutes
Materials needed: Flip-chart, markers, and tape.
Aim
To have participants think about their understanding of love, relationships and romantic
relationships between two men or two women.
Guide for facilitator
Carry out a brainstorming with participants on how they would define homophobia.
(The Merriam Webster dictionary defines homophobia as an irrational fear of, aversion to, or
discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals) 1 .
Divide the participants into smaller groups and give each group one of the story
beginnings included in the Workshop 2 resource sheet (or other story beginnings that the
facilitator might create).
Explain to the groups that they will have 15 minutes to read and continue the stories.
Invite the groups to present their stories (the beginning and details they added) by
reading it aloud, through dramatization or other method of their choosing.
After the presentation of the stories, use the questions below to start a discussion.
Discussion
1. Why is it difficult for many people to accept homosexuality or homosexual behaviour?
2. What is the difference between lesbian, gay and bisexual?
3. How would you define transsexual person?
1
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/homophobia
Last accessed on 18.06.2018.
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4. Can a person have sexual relations with someone of the same sex and be heterosexual?
5. What type of prejudice and/or violence against gays or lesbians have you seen or heard
about? What are the consequences of this prejudice and/or violence?
6. What names are commonly used to refer to gays, lesbians, transsexuals? Do any of these
names have negative meanings?
7. Have you ever been called gay/lesbian by some of your friends for not doing something,
such as fighting or having interest in clothes? What do you think about this?
8. Why do you think that men are called gay when they do not act according to the
dominant norms of masculinity?
9. What have you learned from this workshop? How can you apply this in your own lives?
Conclusion
Everyone has a sexual orientation – that is, you are romantically and sexually attracted to men,
women, or both. Although we do not know precisely what determines a person’s sexual
orientation, we do know that is formed early in life, is not chosen by the person, and cannot be
changed, although because of social taboos and homophobia, it might be hidden.
Such social taboos and homophobia can put gays and lesbians at particular risk for violence,
discrimination, depression, and self-destructive behaviours like drug and alcohol abuse or
suicide.
It is important to work to dispel myths and promote respect for the right of women and men to
express their sexual orientation free from discrimination and, especially, violence.
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Workshop 2 resource sheet
Story no.1
When she was 18, Jovana had her first sexual experience with another woman, and from then
on she knew she was a lesbian. She had many partners before she met Mirela. They were
together for a long time and finally decided to tell their families and move in together...
Story no.2
One night, Branko went out with a group of friends, all from the same class at school. One of
them, Robert, said: “Let’s go and beat up some fags. I saw some transvestites in the square.
Come on!”...
Story no.3
One night, when he was down at the beach camping with a group of friends, Luka found himself
in the same tent with his friend, Goran. They had had a few beers before going to the tent. Luka
always considered himself to be heterosexual. He was thinking about sex with his girlfriend
and became excited when he went to the tent. When Goran saw that Luka was excited, he
began…
Story no.4
At 17, Josipa thought she was bisexual. She liked sex with boys and with girls. One night her
father saw her embracing another girl and when Josipa got home her father started shouting at
her...
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Workshop 3: Understanding trans*
Duration of the workshop: 45-60 minutes
Materials needed: None
Aim
To make participants identify/empathise with a person who is transgender/transsexual, and to
make them more sensitive and to influence on their attitudes related to homophobia and
transphobia.
Guide for facilitator
1. Before you begin with the workshop, explain to participants what is cis* so they could better
understand the story. Cis* is a term for people whose gender identity matches the sex that they
were assigned at birth. It is often referred to as cisgender or cissexual. For example, someone
who identifies as a woman and was assigned female at birth is a cisgender woman.
2. Ask participants to close their eyes and try to fit in the role from the story.
2. Read the story from the resource sheet.
3. After reading a story, lead the discussion based on the given questions, or add some of your
additional ones depending on the discussion flow.
4. It’s important that facilitator should add some energizer/exercise that would help participants
to come back to reality after this workshop. In this way emotional valve will be closed and
participants will feel less emotionally fragile after the workshop.
Discussion
1. How was this exercise for you? What are your emotions now like?
2. Can this be a realistic situation?
3. How did you feel during the guided story?
4. What do you think; do trans people feel like you did in the story?
5. Why is it difficult for transgender/transsexual persons to live in environment such as
ours?
6. Is it really important what’s your gender identity?
7. What can we do to stop discrimination based on gender, sex and sexual orientation?
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Prevention and combating cyber bullying and internet violence among youth
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Trans* population cannot always choose their surroundings and are forced to move in it, where
discrimination exists, and exists in a significant degree.
It primarily concerns the work environment. Every day they are experiencing discrimination at
work, in school, at the gym... which is result of different gender/sexual identity. Much of
discrimination and transphobia is based on perceptions of what it is to be “masculine” or
“feminine” in our society, what roles should be taken by males and what roles by females.
These gender-role standards (heteronormativity 2 ) and the pressure to adopt gendered patterns
of behaviour converge on children from a range of sources: from family, peers, schools, popular
culture, authority figures, and the media. Young people who do not adopt gender-stereotyped
patterns of behaviour are often the targets of homophobic, transphobic and heterosexist
bullying, harassment, and discrimination.
2
Heteronormativity is what makes heterosexuality seem coherent, natural and privileged. It
involves the assumption that everyone is ‘naturally’ heterosexual, and that heterosexuality is an
ideal, superior to homosexuality or bisexuality.
Definition from European Institute for Gender Equality. Last accessed on 22.06.2019.
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Workshop 3: Cis* in trans* world story
Imagine you are 13 and grow as a cis* person in world where all are trans*. Your teacher is
trans*, your tennis instructor, your aunt, your brother...
You're going to the school library and trying to find information about what is normal. You
find a book, but do not dare to take it, because you are afraid what is written in it.
Every year, there is a party organized in the school. What will you do? You're leaving because
you do not want people think you're weird or different. On the party, girls are dancing with
girls, boys with boys, boys are dressed as girls and girls as boys. You wonder what will you do
if your partner and you are too close? What happens if you kiss? What if everyone founds out
about your gender identity? Some people say that it is a sin to be cis*. How do you feel when
people speak in the church/mosque/synagogue/temple where you are going?
Now you are 18. At a nearby newsstand you see a magazine with cis* news in the headline.
You ignored your fear and shame, and you bought the magazine. You are hiding the magazine
and carrying it home. You read about a new club in town for young cis* people and decide to
go there. Finally, you go to the club and you meet people who are like you. Young men and
women dance together, talk to each other.
After a few months, you decide to live together with your partner, but you should be careful, in
the evening you have to put curtains on your window, because the owner of the apartment can
accidentally see you, who is also a trans*.
Unfortunately one day your partner is hit by a car. You run to the hospital, but you cannot go
into the room, and you stay and look through the glass to your loved one, who is full of bruises
and fractures. A sign on the door says that the entrance is allowed only to partners and family.
How can you see your partner?
Do you need to tell all these people that this person is your partner?
Will it affect their care for your partner?
What will you do?
Now, slowly open your eyes.
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Workshop 4: Violence
Duration of the workshop: 90 minutes
Materials needed: Flipchart papers, markers, copies of stories – resource sheet
Aim
To identify different types of violence that may occur in relationships, families and
communities.
Guide for facilitator
What to know in advance
Prior to the sessions on violence, it is important to research locally relevant information
concerning violence, including existing laws and social support for those who use and/or suffer
from violence. It is also important to be prepared to refer participants to the appropriate services
if they reveal that they are suffering violence or abuse.
Case studies included in stories after this workshops present diverse examples of violence,
including men’s use of physical, sexual, and emotional violence against women in intimate
relationships, men’s use of physical violence against women outside the context of an intimate
relationship, physical violence between men, violence by women, and community-level, or
institutional, violence against individuals and groups of people.
If necessary, you can make adaptations to these case studies or create new ones to address
other types of violence that also occur in intimate relationships, families, and/or communities.
STEP 1 – Discussion on topic: What does violence mean to me? (30 minutes)
Ask the group to sit in a circle and to think silently for a few moments about what
violence means to them.
Invite each participant to share with the group what violence means to them. Write the
responses on flipchart paper.
Alternative: Invite participants to write or draw what violence means to them.
Discuss with participants some of the common points in their responses, as well as some
of the unique points. Review definitions of violence below and tell participants that there is
often not a clear or simple definition of violence. Explain that in the second part of the exercise
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you are going to read a series of case studies to help them think about different meanings and
types of violence.
Definitions of violence:
‣ Physical violence: is the use of physical force such as hitting, slapping, or pushing.
‣ Emotional/Psychological violence: is often the most difficult form of violence to
identify. It may include humiliating, threatening, insulting, pressuring, and expressing
jealousy or possessiveness such as controlling decisions and activities.
‣ Sexual violence: involves pressuring or forcing someone to perform sexual acts (from
touching to kissing to sex) against their will or making sexual comments that make
someone feel humiliated or uncomfortable. It does not matter if there has been prior
consenting sexual behaviour.
‣ Cyberbullying: the activity of using the internet to harm or frighten another person,
especially by sending them unpleasant messages. 3
Violence is also often categorized according to the victim-perpetrator relationship: 4
Self-directed violence refers to violence in which the perpetrator and the victim are the
same individual and is subdivided into self-abuse and suicide.
Interpersonal violence refers to violence between individuals, and is subdivided into
family and intimate partner violence and community violence. The former category
includes child maltreatment; intimate partner violence; and elder abuse, while the latter
is broken down into acquaintance and stranger violence and includes youth violence;
assault by strangers; violence related to property crimes; and violence in workplaces
and other institutions.
Collective violence refers to violence committed by larger groups of individuals and
can be subdivided into social, political and economic violence.
These definitions can be written on flipchart paper. Remember to save this flipchart paper since
it will be useful for some of the workshops following this one.
STEP 2 – Discussion on differently types of violence (60 minutes together with discussion
and conclusion part)
3
Definition by Cambridge Dictionary
4
Text taken from https://www.who.int/violenceprevention/approach/definition/en/
Last accessed on 23/06/2018.
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Read case studies available at the end of this workshop.
After reading each story, discuss with participants following questions (visible in part
Discussion). Make note that not each question is applicable to every one of the stories that are
prepared, and that list of questions in discussion part is made as a list of different questions
that can be used for discussion. Use questions that are applicable to the specific story.
Discussion
1. What kinds of violence most often occur in intimate relationships between men and
women? What causes this violence? Examples may include physical, emotional, and/or
sexual violence that men use against girlfriends or wives, as well as violence that women
may use against their boyfriends or husbands.
2. What kind of violence most often occur in intimate relationships between same sex
partners? Is it different from cases with different sex couples? Explain how
3. What kinds of violence most often occur in families? What causes this violence?
Examples may include parents’ use of physical, emotional, and/or sexual violence
against children or other types of violence between family members.
4. What kinds of violence most often occur outside relationships and families? What
causes this violence? Examples may include physical violence between men, women,
violence against LGBTQIA community, gang or war-related violence, stranger rape
and emotional violence, or stigmas against certain individuals or groups in the
community.
5. Are there types of violence that are related to a person’s sex? What is the most common
type of violence practiced against women? Against men? Against intersexual
individuals?
6. Are only men violent, or are women also violent?
7. What is the most common type of violence that men use against others?
8. What is the most common type of violence that women use against others?
9. Does a person – man or woman – ever “deserve” to be hit or suffer some type of
violence?
10. What are the results and consequences of violence on individuals? On group? On
communities? On relationships?
11. What can you and your peers do to prevent/stop violence in your local community?
Conclusion
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At its most basic level, violence can be defined as the use of force (or the threat of force) by
one individual against another. Violence is often used as a way to control another person, to
have power over them.
It happens all around the world and often stems from the way that individuals, especially
men, are raised to deal with anger and conflict. It is commonly assumed that violence
is a “natural” or “normal” part of being a man. However, violence is a learned behaviour and,
in that sense, it can be unlearned and prevented.
In your daily lives, it is fundamental that you, as young people, think about what you can do to
speak out against other’s use of violence.
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Stories – Resource sheet
Story no.1
Mirko and Sanja are a young married couple. Mirko’s family is coming over to their home for
dinner. He is very anxious that they should have a good time, and he wants to show them how
great of a cook his wife is. But when he gets home that night, nothing is prepared. Sanja has
not been feeling well, and she has not started making the dinner yet. Mirko is very upset. He
does not want his family to think that he cannot control his wife. They begin to argue and yell
at each other. The fight quickly escalates, and Mirko hits her.
‣ How should Sanja react?
‣ Could Mirko have reacted differently in this situation?
Story no.2
You are dancing with a group of friends at the disco. When you are about to leave, you see a
couple (a boy and a girl, apparently boyfriend/girlfriend) arguing at the entrance. He calls her
a bitch and asks her why she was flirting with another guy. She says, “I was not looking at
him... and even if I was, aren’t I with you?” He shouts at her again. Finally, she says, “You
don’t have the right to treat me like that.” He calls her worthless and tells her to get out of his
face – he can’t stand to look at her. He then hits her, and she falls down. She screams at him,
saying that he has no right to do that.
‣ What would you do? Would you leave? Would you say anything? Why or why not?
‣ Would it be different if it were a guy hitting another guy?
‣ What can you do in situations like this one? What are your options?
‣ What is our responsibility to prevent others from using violence?
Story no.3
Miran is an older boy who comes from a wealthy family. He meets Petar one day on his way
home from school and they chat a little. The next day, he meets up with him again and this
continues until one day he invites him to dinner. At dinner, he tells Petar how much he likes
him and then invites him to come over to his house. At his house, they start to kiss and Miran
starts touching Petar. But, then Petar stops and says that he doesn’t want to go any further.
Miran is furious. He tells him that he has spent lots of time with him. He pressures him to get
him to change his mind. First, he tries to be seductive, and then he begins yelling at him in
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frustration. Then he begins pulling at him forcefully, pushing him down. He then forces him to
have sex, even though Petar keeps saying, “No, stop!”
‣ Is this a kind of violence? Why or why not?
‣ What do you think Miran should have done?
‣ What do you think Petar should have done?
Story no.4
A group of friends go dancing. One of them, Daniel, sees that some guy is staring at his
girlfriend. Daniel walks up to the guy and shoves him and a fight begins.
‣ Why did Daniel react this way? Do you think he was right to shove the other guy?
‣ How else could he have reacted?
‣ What should his friends have done?
Story no.5
In many communities, people who are living with HIV/AIDS are shunned. They are insulted.
Sometimes their children are not allowed to go to school.
‣ Is this a type of violence?
‣ Do you think that this type of discrimination hurts people living with HIV/AIDS?
‣ What can be done to stop these types of things from happening?
Story no.6
Jovan is a young gay man who has recently come out to his family and friends. At first, it was
hard with his family but they have finally come around. At school, however, some kids have
started to call him a “fag” and other derogatory names. They also push him around a lot, and
sometimes even beat him up.
‣ Is this a type of violence? Why or why not?
‣ What can Jovan do?
‣ What can his friends do?
‣ What would you do in a situation like this?
Case no.7
Vanja is a 19-year-old university student who just moved in with a roommate to a one-room
flat near campus. Vanja has been HIV positive since she was 17. She takes medications for
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HIV, which need to constantly be refrigerated. One day, her roommate asks her what the
medications are for. Vanja decides to be honest and tells her roommate that she is HIV positive.
Her roommate is shocked and furious. She tells Vanja that she needs to move out of the flat
immediately, before she passes her infection to her.
‣ What do you think about the way that the roommate reacted?
‣ Do you think there is risk for the roommate to be infected by living with Vanja?
‣ Is this a type of violence?
‣ What can be done to stop these types of things from happening?
Case no.8
Matej is 16 years old boy. One night he goes on Chatrullete and meets with one nice looking
girl from USA he liked immediately. She introduces herself and tells she is 17 years old. After
chat goes on, this girl starts talking with Matej about sex. They agree to try cybersex, by using
Skype. Matej adds her on Skype and they start the video call. She asks him to stand up, take off
his clothes and to start masturbating. Matej listens to her. In few minutes call ends up and he
receives video of him getting naked and masturbating. Girl is blackmailing him to send her
100$ or she will post the video online. Matej is scared, he doesn’t have that amount of money
and is too embarrassed to talk with his parents or friends and ask for an advice.
‣ Is this violence? Which kind of violence?
‣ What Matej should do? What would you advise him to do?
‣ Did you hear about cases similar to this? If yes, can you share with rest of the group?
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Workshop 5: What is cyber bullying and internet violence
Duration of the workshop: 45-60 minutes
Materials needed: Flipchart papers, markers, 3 to 4 copies of Cyber bullying story –
Resource sheet
Aim
To discuss cyber bullying and internet violence, and the different situations in which it can
occur.
Guide for facilitator
Introductory remark for facilitator
In the same way that talking about other forms of violence might cause discomfort because of
possible connections with participants’ own lives, it is important to be sensitive to the
possibility that some of the participants might have suffered some type of cyber bullying and
internet violence in their life and might need advice or help.
They may have suffered cyber bullying (from their peers or from other people in their lives or
even anonymous person), but never spoken with anybody about the matter, out of shame or
fear. Others might know of their friends or family members who have been victims of cyber
bullying and online violence.
It is important to be prepared for these possibilities and to know where and to whom you can
refer participants who might need professional support.
Step by step guide
Explain that the purpose of the activity is to talk about cyber bullying and internet
violence.
Carry out a brainstorming session with the group on the meaning of cyber bullying –
internet violence and the different situations in which it can occur. Use markers and write on
flipchart paper different ideas you get from the group. Review the definition of cyber bullying
included in the Workshop 4: Violence. Save the flipchart with brainstorming ideas, it will be
needed for Workshop 6.
Depending on the number of participants, divide them into three or four smaller groups,
handing out a copy of the Cyber bullying story – Resource sheet. Ask the small groups to read
the story together. Alternatively, you can read the story aloud to participants.
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After reading the story, have an open discussion about the following points, encouraging
the participants to reflect on the story:
‣ Is this story realistic?
‣ Do you think Lucie should’ve done something differently? What, how and why?
‣ Can it be considered violence? Why yes or why not?
‣ Why do you think Lucie’s friend acted the way they acted? Could they do something
differently? What?
‣ Is there any good reason to bully someone online?
‣ Do you have some story of your friends/families similar to this that you would like to
share with the group and analyse?
After discussing the story, wrap-up the discussion using the following questions.
Discussion
1. What are the consequences of cyber bullying and internet violence?
2. What do you think who is committing acts of cyber bullying more often? Younger or
older generations? Men or women? Why do you think it is like that?
3. What can you do to help prevent situations of cyber bullying and online violence in your
own friends’ groups? In your community?
Conclusion
Most youth will encounter mean behaviour at some point in their digital lives (most often on
different social medias). For some young men and young women, this experience is a blip that's
easily forgotten, while for others it can have deep, long-lasting effects. For parents, teachers,
counsellors and youth workers, the key is staying involved in young people’s lives -- both
online and off -- so they can step in and offer help if necessary. With guidance from youth
workers, counsellors and educators, young person can learn how to dodge the drama and stand
up for himself/herself and others.
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Cyber bullying story – Resource sheet
Lucie’s story 5
In January, there was a big party at a place called LIFE that a lot of the girls and boys in my
grade were going to. I really wanted to go but had other plans made for that night. I was so
upset that I couldn’t go, I wrote a mean post on my spam account on Instagram that was
immature, angry and rude directed to some of the people going to this party. Rather than
accepting that I couldn’t go, I made it seem like I didn’t want to go in the first place. About a
month later, a girl in my grade somehow came upon this post and shared it with other kids in
our grade. People started to say terrible things about me while I was within earshot. Hearing
this, I decided to go up to 4 or 5 of the girls and apologized immediately for the post and tried
my best to make things right. They all said that they understood and that was the last I heard of
it for the time being.
Fast forward 6 months later and I posted a photo of myself on Instagram with the caption “Life
is good”. A bunch of people including a boy I previously was hanging out with attacked this
post with really mean and rude comments about me. I was so upset that I privately texted the
girl who seemed to be leading these comments asking her why she was writing these hurtful
things and she replied by saying “it’s a joke and we are just having fun.” She then continued to
write more mean things about me and even made a post about me on her spam account,
purposefully so I could see it. She threatened me saying “I deserved this” and that she would
hurt me and live stream it for other people to watch. I was scared and devastated when students
from my grade who I thought were my friends commented about how funny she was and how
annoying I was. People from other schools that I didn’t know even chimed in! I felt attacked
and all alone. My close friends tried to comfort me privately, but no one had the courage to
actually defend me on social media. I had this horrible sinking feeling of everyone hating me
and talking about me behind my back. Some of my sympathetic friends even wrote to me that
they would “hang themselves” if people were writing these kinds of things about them. I was
so confused and sad that I decided the right thing to do was tell my mom and my family. My
5
Text taken from https://www.cybersmile.org/blog/lucies-cyberbullying-story
Last accessed on 22/06/2018.
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mom reached out to my school advisor who reminded us that my school has a code of conduct
policy that includes a cyberbullying section that all student sign.
It states – “Definition – Bullying is the creation of a hostile environment by conduct or verbal
threats, intimidation or abuse that has or would have the effect of unreasonably and
substantially interfering with a student’s educational performance, opportunities or benefits,
or mental, or emotional, or physical well-being; or conduct, verbal threats, intimidation, or
abuse that reasonably causes or would reasonably be expected to cause a student to fear for
his or her physical safety. Cyberbullying, including electronic comments posted in e-mails or
instant messages, or on social networking sites such as Facebook or Twitter, or in blogs, etc.
The School encourages all members of the school community to report all incidents of bullying,
regardless of who the offender may be. The School will take prompt, reasonable action to
prevent, investigate, and remedy bullying. Any student who believes that he or she has been the
victim of bullying shall report the incident(s) to the Principal, Grade-Level Dean, Advisor,
Counselor, School Nurse, or School Psychologist.”
We all came to the decision that this was actual cyberbullying and decided to report this incident
to ensure my safety and to try and better our school community and educate others about
cyberbullying.
I then left for summer camp for 3 weeks without my phone and got to escape the toxic social
media world. When I returned, I learned that the school had contacted the mother of this girl.
She defended her actions by sharing with them a screenshot of the mean post that I had written
way back in January. Although I didn’t know it, what I had written came back to haunt me and
she said it is the reason she decided to write those terrible thing about me on social media.
I have thought about this a lot and realize now how important it is to be careful about what you
put online. I have learned that even though people forgive and forget, things stay on the internet
forever and can come back to haunt you later in life. It is my hope that my story will help other
people to understand that even if you feel like an innocent victim, there are always two sides to
every story. The internet is definitely not the right place to let your emotions and angry feelings
towards a person or situation out. I was very hurt by this experience and I know many of the
other people involved have also been hurt and upset. Recently, the girl who wrote all those
things about me and I got together. She apologized to me for the things she had posted and we
decided that moving forward we would both do our best to look out for each other and only
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spread kindness out on social media. To anyone going through this, remember you are not
alone. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and to share your story, look at your own actions and do
not say negative things on the internet and get caught in the moment. It can and will get better.
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Workshop 6: If you post it online, then everyone can see it
Duration of the workshop: 45-60 minutes
Materials needed: Workshop 6 handouts printed, projector for screening of videos,
flipchart paper, markers.
Aim
To learn and understand consequences of cyber bullying and internet violence.
Guide for facilitator
Important note to have in mind before planning the workshop
This workshop includes a guest speaker, someone who has experienced cyberbullying and was
able to overcome it. Youth worker/facilitator, who is organising the workshop, should plan in
advance on including one guest speaker for this workshop.
Step by step guide
Open with a discussion about what participants understand about cyberbullying, what
they have learned already during previous workshops. You can write down their answers on
part of flipchart paper.
Play short movies to participants from following links:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asTti6y39xI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWBvXRVMPDU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkG00Czb4ho
After the short videos, ask participants following questions:
1. What did you understood from these videos?
2. What is the message you can take?
3. How cyberbullying can happen in your school/faculty/local community?
Introduce the guest speaker and allow them time to talk about their experience. Facilitate a
question and answer session between the participants and the guest speaker.
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Give participants Workshop 6 handout and give them time to read it. Explain to them that
this handout can serve as a checklist in the future, to use it before posting online. Give
participants between 10 do 15 minutes to go through the handout. After they have finished with
this step, you can move on to the discussion questions.
Discussion
1. Have you ever asked yourself questions that you just read on the handout, before you
posted something online? What did you ask yourself?
2. Did you have a chance before to talk with someone who was a victim of cyberbullying?
Can you share?
3. Have you been sometimes posting something online that can hurt someone else’s
feeling? How did you feel after you posted?
4. What do you think, how does a victim of cyberbullying feels? How can you help
him/her?
5. What can we do in the future to prevent cyberbullying and online violence from
happening? How can we do it?
6. What can you take from this workshop and use in the future?
Conclusion
It’s easy to think sometimes that cyber/online world is something totally disconnected from real
world. We should always have in mind that whatever we do in online world, is influencing lives
of others. Before we post something online we should ask ourselves key questions from the
handout, which we had a chance to read during this workshop. How will I feel about the act I
do online? Why am I posting something and which consequences it can have on others? Am I
being kind to others if I post something?
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Workshop 6 handout 6
The cyber world is the real world with real consequences, so make sure you always ask yourself
the following before you hit send!
Will I feel good or different about it later?
Social media comes with one golden rule, don't post when you are angry. A split second of rage
can have permanent consequences.
Why am I posting?
Is this something you really want to post, does it really reflect your personality and values?
Don't follow the crowd or post just to gain attention, as you might not like the response you get
back.
Would I say this in person?
No? Then don't say it online. Social accounts are managed by real people with real feelings. If
you talk about someone online, think about whether you would feel embarrassed or ashamed
if you saw them in person. If so, you may want to ask again, why am I posting?
Can this be interpreted differently?
Sarcasm and irony do not often transfer well into writing, especially in a short social media
post. Think about how others may read it; could it be seen as offensive?
Am I being kind?
Treat others with the respect that you would like to receive. If you read it about yourself, would
it make you feel good?
Is it really private?
People often excuse inappropriate posts based on the idea that the conversation is private, as it
is on a private account. Consider how many connections you have, are all these people very
6
Rad, Dana & Dixon, Daniel & Deloyer, Jocelyn. (2018). KEEPING YOUTH SAFE FROM
CYBERBULLYING The toolkit.
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close friends? Can you trust that each one of them won't share or talk about your post with
others? Facebook statistics suggest that the average young user has up to 300 online friends.
This private profile suddenly doesn't seem so private at all.
Do I have permission?
You might find that badly angled photograph of your friend amusing, but the likelihood is that
they will not. Be respectful of other people's privacy; don't share photos or information that
will embarrass or humiliate someone.
Would I like me?
If you were a stranger looking in at your profile, what would you think? If most of your posts
are in some way critical, unkind, offensive or negative, how do you think you are being
perceived?
Is it legal?
In the eyes of the law, posting online is not the same as having an informal chat with your
friends. Posting is publishing, just the same as if it was written in the newspaper. Even if your
profile is private, you do not own what you publish – meaning anyone can use it as evidence.
Make sure you do not post anything that might get you into trouble with the law.
Harassment, hate speech, threats of violence, ruining someone's reputation and pictures or
comments suggesting illegal activity can all be used against you.
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Workshop 7: Understanding the cycle of violence
Duration of the workshop: 45 minutes
Materials needed: Flipchart paper, tape, markers, pens/pencils, and copies of Workshop 7
Resource Sheet or five small pieces of paper for each participant
Aim
To discuss the consequences of violence and the relationship between the violence that young
people suffer and the violence that they use against others.
Guide for facilitator
Introductory remark for facilitator
If a participant reports that she/he is suffering any type of violence or that she/he has recently
suffered any type of abuse – including sexual abuse or systematic physical abuse at home – and
is less than 18 years old, in some countries the facilitator/youth worker must report the fact to
the child and adolescent protection authorities. Before carrying out any task in this manual, the
facilitator/youth worker should consult her/his own organisation to clarify the relevant ethical
and legal requirements concerning violence against persons under 18.
Step by step guide
Before the session, tape five pieces of flipchart paper to a wall. Write each of the five
categories below on a piece of flipchart paper:
Violence used against me;
Violence that I use against others;
Violence that I have witnessed;
How I feel when I use violence;
How I feel when violence is used against me.
At the beginning of the session, explain to the participants that the purpose of this activity
is to talk about the violence they experience in their lives and their communities. Review
flipchart papers from Workshop 4 (definitions of different kinds of violence) and Workshop 5
(brainstorming about cyber bullying and online violence).
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Prevention and combating cyber bullying and internet violence among youth
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Give each participant a copy of the Workshop 7 Resource sheet or five small pieces of paper
upon which they can write out the categories above.
Review five categories from above and ask participants to reflect on them and then write a
short reply for each in the boxes on the Workshop 7 Resource sheet or on pieces of paper that
they have received. They should put one response in each box or paper, and they should not
write their names.
Allow about 10 minutes for this task. Explain to participants that they should not write too
much, just a few words or a phrase, and then tape it to the corresponding flipchart paper.
After they have finished taping their papers to the flipchart, read aloud some of
responses from each category.
Open up the discussion using the discussion questions below.
Discussion
1. What is the most common type of violence used against women? Who commits that
violence? Why do you think situation is like that?
2. What is the most common type of violence used against men? Who commits that
violence? Why do you think situation is like that?
3. What is the most common type of violence that women use against others?
4. What is the most common type of violence that men use against others?
5. Is there differences in sense of types of violence women use against others and types of
violence men use against others? Why is that difference there if yes? Why not if you
said no?
6. How do you feel when you use violence against others?
7. How did you feel if someone used violence against you?
8. Is there any connection between the violence you use and the violence that is used
against you? Can you explain that connection if you said yes?
9. Is any kind of violence worse than other?
10. How do the media (i.e., music, radio, movies, etc.) portray violence? (see “Do media
teach boys to be violent?” below)
11. What is the link between violence in your families and relationships and other violence
that you see in your communities?
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Prevention and combating cyber bullying and internet violence among youth
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12. Some researchers say that violence is like a cycle, that is to say, someone who is a victim
of violence is more likely to commit acts of violence later. Do you think this is true? If
so, how can you help to interrupt the cycle of violence?
13. Do you think that men have a role to play in preventing violence against women?
Explain.
14. What have you learned in this activity to help overcome violence? Have you learned
anything that can be applied in your own life and relationships?
Conclusion
Too many young men and women have experienced or witnessed violence at some point in
their lives, often at the hands of men. It is commonly assumed that violence is a “natural” or
“normal” part of being a man. However, violence is a learned behaviour – boys and men are
often raised to think violence is an acceptable means of maintaining control, particularly over
women, resolving conflicts, and/or expressing anger. And just as violence is learned, it can be
unlearned and prevented. In this way, it is the responsibility of all individuals, women and men,
to strive to raise boys and men, as well as girls and women, to understand how violence, be it
men’s violence against women, women’s violence against men or a parent’s use of violence
against a child, prevents individuals from building positive and loving relationships. (CARE
International, 2011.)
Does the media teach boys to be violent?
Some studies have shown that watching violent scenes in media can be linked to execution of
violence but causal links are not completely clear. Watching violence on television or in movie
theatres probably does not “cause” violence in boys but can lead to some boys’ impressions –
and our general impression as society – that violence by men is normal or even cool. What
about girls? Do they equally easy manifest anger? (CARE International, 2016.)
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Workshop 7 Resource Sheet
• VIOLENCE USED AGAINST ME:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
-
• VIOLENCE THAT I USE AGAINST OTHERS:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
-
• VIOLENCE THAT I HAVE WITNESSED:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
-
• HOW I FEEL WHEN I USE VIOLENCE:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
-
• HOW I FEEL WHEN VIOLENCE IS USED AGAINST ME:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
-
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Prevention and combating cyber bullying and internet violence among youth
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Workshop 8: Communication styles (aggressive, passive, or
assertive style)
Duration of the workshop: 90 minutes
Materials needed: Flip chart, marker, copies of Workshops 8 resource sheets 1 and 2.
Aim
To learn the difference between assertive, aggressive and passive communication.
Guide for facilitator
Note for facilitator
We recommend for youth worker/facilitator, who will lead the workshop, to go through this
workshop independently and to consider the way in which he or she expresses his/hers
emotions.
Step by step guide
Review with the participants different types of communication presented in Workshop
8 resource sheet 1. Be sure to review the definitions of aggressive, passive, and assertive and
the concepts of communicator, receiver, and bystander.
Optionally, you can have these definitions prepared and presented on flipchart table or with
use of projector.
2.
Divide participants into three groups. Distribute copies of Workshop 8 resource sheet
Tell the groups that they can complete Workshop 8 resource sheet 2 either by using
direct examples from their own lives, or by coming up with fictional scenarios. Allow the
groups 15 minutes to complete the task.
Ask the groups to pick one of their examples to present as a skit to the other groups. In
each group, one participant will take on the role of Communicator, one will be the Receiver,
and the others will be the Bystanders. Allow the groups 10 minutes to rehearse their skits.
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Open the discussion using the questions from Discussion segment of the workshop.
Discussion
1. What types of communication were presented in the skits?
2. Were these skits realistic?
3. What are the benefits of assertive communication?
4. Over time, what happens to people who communicate passively?
5. What types of communication do young people use most with each other? Why?
6. What types of communication do young men use most in their intimate relationships
with women? Why? What about young women?
7. Is there some difference between types of communication which are present in
heterosexual relationship and in homosexual relationship? Why yes or why not? Can
you explain the difference if you think that there is some?
8. How is aggressive behaviour related to violence?
9. What types of communication are linked to healthy relationships?
10. What types of communication are linked to unhealthy relationships?
11. What happens when aggressive behaviour is not confronted?
12. Are young women ever bystanders in your community? What about young men? When?
Why?
13. What have you learned from this exercise? How can you apply this in your own lives
and relationships?
Conclusion
Assertiveness involves clearly representing your thoughts and feelings in a respectful way that
does not employ guilt, infringe on others' rights, or use emotional blackmail. On the other hand,
aggressive behaviour can silence people. It is important to know how to identify and handle
dating and interpersonal relationship situations when behaviour is unhealthy.
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Prevention and combating cyber bullying and internet violence among youth
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Workshop 8 resource sheet 1 7
COMMUNICATION
SCENARIO
HOW DOES THE
HOW DOES THE
WHAT CAN THE
TYPE
COMMUNICATOR
RECEIVER ACT?
BYSTANDER DO
ACT?
OR SAY?
ASSERTIVE
The principal
Treating him with
Happy
Listen
Tending toward bold
or confident
declarations of
opinions and feelings
(Communicator) is
speaking to the student
(Receiver) in the hall
about the good job he
did on his science
respect
Acknowledging his hard
work
Paying attention to what
he is saying and what is
Wanted to share with
the principal how much
he liked the science
class and how he wants
to study science all the
Not interrupt
Offer words of
encouragement to the
Receiver
project.
going on in the hallway
time
Damir(Communicator)
and Jovana (Receiver)
Assess the safety of
have been dating for
Scared, unsure
confronting Damir
AGGRESSIVE
Tending toward or
exhibiting hostile,
forceful, or destructive
behaviour
about three months.
Damir gets angry when
Jovana has to go to class
without him and he
thinks other guys want
to get with Jovana. One
Superior and controlling
Like he owns Jovana
Without showing trust
or respect for Jovana
Silenced
Angry
Caught off guard
Unsure what to say but
wants him to stop
making a scene
Confront using “I”
statements such as “I
feel you are treating
Joavan poorly”
During or after the
incident, tell Jovana and
day when Jovana walks
Franja that you feel
back to her locker with
Damir treated them
Franjo (Receiver),
aggressively.
Jovana (arms folded, in
an angry voice) says,
“What exactly do you
two think you are
doing?
Ana (Communicator)
Not sure what Ana
PASSIVE
Receiving or enduring
something without
being active, open, or
direct
sits on the yearbook
committee. She works
on it after school and
over lunch. Ivana
(Receiver) offers to help
because she is supposed
Vague, unsure of
herself, seems a bit shy
Makes Ivana feel she
has to guess what Ana’s
needs are.
wants
Asking for clarification
Frustrated and wanting
to cut the conversation
short
As if Ana is
Listen
Try to assess what the
problems might be
Tell Ana that she
shouldn’t have to do the
work alone
to be working with Ana.
incompetent
However, Ana seems
aloof and just shrugs her
shoulders when Ivana
talks to her about it.
International
7
CARE International, 2011. M Manual: A Training Manual. Banja Luka, BiH: CARE
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Prevention and combating cyber bullying and internet violence among youth
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Workshop 8 resource sheet 2
COMMUNICATION
SCENARIO
HOW DOES THE
HOW DOES THE
WHAT CAN THE
TYPE
COMMUNICATOR
RECEIVER ACT?
BYSTANDER DO
ACT?
OR SAY?
ASSERTIVE
AGGRESSIVE
PASSIVE
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Prevention and combating cyber bullying and internet violence among youth
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Workshop 9: Assess the situation
Duration of the workshop: 90 minutes
Materials needed: Flipchart paper, regular pieces of paper, pens/pencils, tape, and copies
of Workshop 9 resource sheet.
Aim
Discuss and practice negotiation skills and skills for resolving conflicts that can be useful when
we talk about cyber bullying and online violence.
Guide for facilitator
Before the session, prepare two pieces of flipchart paper with data from the Workshop
9 resource sheet.
Conduct a brainstorming activity with the participants about usual conflict scenarios
that they face in their relationships and community, but in online world. Prompt participants to
think about different types of relationships such as between partners, parent/child,
boss/employer, neighbours, etc.
Divide the participants into small groups. Give each group one of the conflict scenarios,
which you have brainstormed in the previous step.
Display the flipchart paper titled “Ways to resolve a conflict” and explain that each
group should write a short skit to explain how they would use one of the methods from the
flipchart to resolve their conflict scenario.
Invite the groups to present their skit and ask the participants to identify different
methods of conflict resolution.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of different methods with the participants.
Display the flipchart paper titled “Four steps of successful negotiation with a positive
outcome for both sides (Win-Win)“.
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Prevention and combating cyber bullying and internet violence among youth
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Ask the participants to discuss in their small groups a negotiation example with a
positive outcome for both sides (Win-Win) and to create a role-play and present it.
Ask the groups to perform their role-plays.
Use the questions below to reflect on the workshop.
Discussion
1. Is it easier to resolve the conflict in real world or in online world? Why?
2. Why is it sometimes difficult to resolve conflict with negotiation, especially in the
online world?
3. What makes negotiation easier? What makes it harder?
4. What are situations in which you wouldn’t want to compromise?
5. What did you learn from this activity? How can you apply this in your lives and
relationships?
Conclusion
Negotiation is a fact of life and skill that can help us out in many situations. But it is not always
easy to use it, especially in online world. Learning and developing your negotiation skills can
help you resolve conflicts in different spheres of your life and build healthier relationships.
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Prevention and combating cyber bullying and internet violence among youth
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Workshop 9 resource sheet
Ways of Resolving Conflict
Avoid conflict: Simply withdraw from any conflict
Smooth it over: Pretend there is no conflict and everything is OK
Win at all costs: Get what you want; the other person loses
Compromise: Give up something you want to get something else that you want
Win/win negotiation: Use creative problem solving to give both people what they want or
need.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Four Steps of Successful Win/Win Negotiation
‣ State your position. Use “I” statements, say what you want or need.
‣ Listen to the other person’s position. Find out what the other person needs or wants.
Restate the other person’s position to be sure that you understand.
‣ Brainstorm win/win solutions. Take into account both partners’ needs and wants. Be
creative.
‣ Agree on a solution. Try it out. If it does not work, start the process over again
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Prevention and combating cyber bullying and internet violence among youth
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Workshop 10: Breaking the silence and getting help
Duration of the workshop: 45 minutes
Materials needed: Flipchart paper, tape, markers, copies of a list of local resources for
referral
Aim
To discuss the culture of silence that exists in relation to violence in online world, in families
and relationships and to reflect on what young people can do when they or someone they know
are abused and/or victims of violence.
Guide for facilitator
Note for facilitator
As with the other activities on violence, it is important to research existing support options in
the community to refer participants to in the event they are experiencing violence. The list
should include hospitals, clinics, social workers, psychologists, support groups that deal
specifically with the issue of gender-based, cyber bullying, domestic violence, and any other
available resources. If possible, create a handout listing these resources to distribute to all
participants at the end of the activity. During the activity, pay close attention to reactions of the
participants to assess whether anyone might need special attention due to the subject matter.
Step by step guide
Review with the participants some of the warning signs that someone might be in a
relationship that is violent, or potentially violent, warning signs that someone is bullied online
or bullied and victim of violence based on their look, attitude, behaviour etc. You can write
down some of the answers on flipchart table.
Ask the participants to imagine an individual who is experiencing violence online and
thinking about talking to someone about it. Tell them to think about the doubts or concerns this
person might have about “breaking the silence.” Ask them to imagine the challenges of reaching
out and supporting someone who is experiencing violence. Tell them to think about the doubts
or concerns that a person might have in reaching out and supporting a person, be it a friend,
family member, co-worker, or neighbour.
Open up a discussion using questions below.
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Discussion
Prevention and combating cyber bullying and internet violence among youth
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1. Why at times do young people not want to speak about the violence in their lives?
2. Is it considered acceptable for a girl to leave her abusive partner? Is it easy? What about
boy who has abusive female partner? What do you think about same sex relationships
and violence in them?
3. Why would someone remain in an abusive relationship? Are these reasons different for
young women and adult women?
4. In general, when you are violent or when you suffer violence (cyber bullying and
violence in real life), do you talk about it? Do you report it?
5. Do you talk about how you feel if you are victim of violence? If you do not, why not?
6. How does it feel to know that a friend or someone you know is suffering from violence?
7. How can you bring up violence if you are worried about a friend?
8. How can you support a friend who has suffered from violence or aggression?
9. What have you learned in this activity? Have you learned anything that can be applied
in your own life and relationships?
Following the discussion, ask the group to name all of the community resources that they are
aware of, which could be helpful for someone who is a victim of violence. You can ask the
question: “If you think your friend is a victim of cyber bullying or violence in real life, who or
where would you suggest she/he turn to for help?”
As participants offer names of resources, write them on the flipchart paper. The facilitator
should also mention any additional places where young people can go for help and distribute
the handout listing these resources.
Conclusion
It can be very difficult for young person who suffer violence (either online or in real world) to
speak out and seek help. Various factors influence a victim’s response to violence. It is
important not to judge people who do not report violence, but to think about how you can
support them, to understand the consequences of violence and the importance of creating
communities where people can live their lives free of violence.
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Prevention and combating cyber bullying and internet violence among youth
– manual for youth workers –
CARE International. (2016). A Training Manual: Program Y– Youth - Innovative
Approaches in GBV Prevention and Young Boys and Girls Healthy Life Styles Promotion.
Banja Luka, Sarajevo, B&H: CARE International Balkans
International
CARE International, 2011. M Manual: A Training Manual. Banja Luka, B&H: CARE
Definition and typology of violence. (2011, November 21). Retrieved from
https://www.who.int/violenceprevention/approach/definition/en/.
Homophobia. (n.d.). Retrieved from
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/homophobia.
Predstavništvo CARE Serbia in Belgrade. (2018). Educational Toolkit for Teachers.
Rad, Dana & Dixon, Daniel & Deloyer, Jocelyn. (2018). KEEPING YOUTH SAFE
FROM CYBERBULLYING The toolkit.
Solutions, M. W. (2017, August 24). Lucie's Cyberbullying Story. Retrieved from
https://www.cybersmile.org/blog/lucies-cyberbullying-story.
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