Kidney Matters - Issue 9 Summer 2020

23
the day, began to get to me. One day I had a melt
down at the hospital. I could feel my days turning into
a constant cycle of clearing up used dialysis bags and
living in what was rapidly beginning to resemble a badly
run nursing home. At this, Geoff who had been quite
passive about what was happening to him up to this
point, suddenly recognised that I was not coping.
This realisation had a profound effect on him and he
began to take responsibility for his own care.
It took us about four months to get used to the new
routine of daytime bags. At this point it was suggested
that Geoff should go on to the transplant waiting list.
Talking this through with the consultant, we were given
so many warnings about what could potentially go
wrong that we were puzzled when he said, “So you are
eligible. Isn’t that great! Let’s go ahead.” We mulled it
over for a while and decided to wait for six months.
Geoff’s transplant took place in April 2018. But alas,
it failed just under a year later. Between February and
July 2019 Geoff spent a total of 12 weeks in hospital
with a variety of complications. Six months on
(currently on haemodialysis), he is now awaiting surgery
for the re-insertion of a peritoneal catheter.
One thing that helped me during this difficult time was
writing poetry. The range of emotions that you feel as a
carer needs to be expressed and we sometimes find it
difficult to admit just how angry we are at what life has
dealt us. Poetry enabled me to express these feelings.
As a mother of three, I well remember how maternal
instincts develop when the first baby comes along –
the slightest sound wakes you up and you are intimately
attuned to every signal in order to care for that baby
and keep it safe. For me, this feeling of hyper-vigilance
is once again with me all the time.
If any of this resonates with you, I leave you with a
question…are you looking after yourself, as well as you
look after your loved one?
I am so thankful for all the support that I have had from
local friends and from family members (many of whom
are not local). I have been able to keep working, and find
that focusing on the needs of others completely outside
of my own family health problems, is also helpful. If you
are a carer, what do you feel that you need in the way
of support? It might be time out to walk, spend time on
a favourite hobby, or simply find a listening ear. When
you are ‘in it for the long haul’ your own self-care must
become a part of your care plan for your loved one.
As the spring flowers brighten the countryside, think
about what would make your life brighter and see what
small steps you can take today.
Article by
Jennie Cummings-Knight
“I could feel my days
turning into a constant
cycle of clearing up
used dialysis bags and
living in what was
rapidly beginning to
resemble a badly run
nursing home.”