Magazine Final Draft

WHISPER

ING

EYE

WHISPERINGEYEWHISPERINGEYE


1


1

SEX

2

EDITORS

NOTE

I started this magazine because I felt a longing to bring about the

conversation of sex among young women across the UK. I felt the need

to bring this topic in discussion, as the taboos that exist even today

around women and sex need to be broken. Each issue will talk about

various different topics; within this issue it covers safe sex, myths around

vaginas, coming out stories and your first time.

I never remember receiving sex education at school, we were told about

our periods and what that meant biologically but never about the pains,

the mood swings, the breakouts and all the other joys that came along

with it. Never mind being taught about actually having sex and the

motions attached to it or all the different ways to have sex beyond PIV

(penis in vagina). These were things that I had to just figure out myself

as I went along and I wish there had been a platform where I could have

learnt all this, so now I’m creating one.

With special thanks to each one of our contributors, who without, we

couldn’t have made this magazine. We hope you enjoy reading each

article they have supplied us with and take some educational value out of

it all.

Many Thanks

Danielle

3 3

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

CONTRIBUTORS

9

JASMINE GARDOSI

14-15

MUFF BUSTERS

18-25

THE RAINBOW PROJECT

26-27

CUMING OUT

30-31

THE FIRST F*CK

32-33

WOMEN AGAINST RAPE

36-37

SEXY FACTS

40-41

SAFE IS SEXY

44-45

THE “C” WORD

46-47

CINTA TORT CARTRO

50-57

FREEDA

58-59

FUMBLE UK

62-63

HELPLINE INFORMATION

68

CONTRIBUTORS PROFILES

72-73

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

5



C


O


Jasmine Gardosi

N

TRIB

U

T

O

RS

7


The Rainbow Project


Fumble UK


Women Against Rape


Freeda UK


Cinta Tort Cartro


Foxanne Designs


Hannah Andrews


David Cowan


Ellie Comac

6





7

8

9 9

RAISEYOURHANDRAISEYOURHANDRAISEYOURHAND

RAISEYOURHANDRAISEYOURHANDRAISEYOURHAND

Raise Your Hand

Raise your hand if you sometimes feel

If you do get the hype about love then, shrug.

uncomfortable talking about sex.

If you don’t understand why people won’t leave

I’m glad we got that out the way.

partners that hit them,

If you carry that awkwardness around like a bad that’s easy -

Jasmine

habit

take off your hand,

drop it.

and give it to me.

Show me both your palms if you remember your If you think homosexuality is an illusion

first kiss

make me disappear.

and you were awful.

If you’re still working out how to be happy on your

Yeah. Weren’t sure what to do with these, were own

you?

touch someone on the shoulder -

If you’ve watched an explicit love scene with a even if that someone is yourself.

parent

If you know someone who was forced

and now you don’t talk about it,

and they didn’t know what to call it

show me your teeth.

breathe deep.

If you’ve ever got period blood on your clothes If you’ve realised that transphobia is still accepted

and it showed

bigotry

curl your toes.

sit up in your seat.

If you’ve had more wet dreams than you care to If you’ve held a pregnancy test in your hand,

Gardosi

reveal,

clench it.

scratch your nose. Nonchalantly.

If you’ve waited more than an hour at the sexual

As if you did that unconsciously too.

health clinic

If, one Christmas, you were basting the turkey bang your head a little bit.

when you realised

Nod it

‘this is the nakedest thing I’ve handled all year…’ if there is something you have not told your family

Blink.

and close your eyes if you worry sometimes

If someone has said to you in bed

about how we define masculinity.

‘I appreciate the gesture though’

If you only learnt what sexual consent was in your

hang your head.

late teens

If you’re single and you fucking despise Valentine’s then grip your knees

Day

and if you’ve ever felt pressured

cross your arms.

then don’t do anything for me.

If you have a partner and you fucking despise If there are things you wished you talked about

Valentine’s Day

more

cross your arms.

look at your hand.

Then hug yourself.

If you can find a way to start the conversation

Hate and love can look the same sometimes. raise it.

If you don't get the hype about love yet, shrug.

AISEYOURHANDRAISEYOURHANDRAISEYOURHAND

AISEYOURHANDRAISEYOURHANDRAISEYOURHAND

11

10 1 1

YOU CAN

NOT BE

EMPOWERED

IF YOU ARE

NOT

INFORMED

12 13

13

EDUCATIONEDUCATION

EDUCATIONEDUCATION

EDUCATIONEDUCATION

MUFF

BUSTER

The Vagina Museum London

hosted the exhibition “Muff

Busters” which seperated the

myths and facts the exist around

women and their vaginas. Here

are some of the myths vs the

facts.

Myth: It’s called a vagina

Fact: Not quite

It is a word that many use to describe the entire

external genitalia, but the vagina is just one of

several parts of the gynaecological anatomy.

There are two main defined areas of the

gynaecological anatomy – one being the vulva

(external) and the other being the vagina

(internal). The vagina, or vaginal canal as it is also

referred to, is the area between your external

vulva and cervix, leading to the uterus and

reproductive organs.

The vulva is all the bits of the genitalia you can

see on the outside – this includes your labia

minora, labia majora, clitoris and urethra (where

you urinate from).

The vagina has become one of the more widely

used terms for the anatomy of the vulva and

vagina combined die to the word vulva being lost

within public discussion. Many do not know what

the word vulva even means, and this was

illustrated in a recent YouGov survey (March 2019)

as over half of the British public surveyed could

not describe the function or visibly identify the

vagina (25%), the labia (47%) or urethra (58%).

Many used euphemisms to label their diagrams

such as “lips” for labia and “wee hole” for

urethra, not knowing the correct terminology for

the anatomy.

When analysed by gender, 45% of women who

completed the survey could not label the vagina,

55% couldn’t locate or label the urethra and 43%

could not name or locate the labia.

Myth: The clitoris is

impossible to find

Fact: What you see is just the

tip of the iceberg

It may be fair to say that one of the most

common myths about the gynaecological anatomy

is the clitoris, and it isn’t even a myth! For as long

as any of us can remember there have been jokes

about not being able to locate the clitoris –

something perpetuated by the patriarchy in

response to not actually knowing what they were

looking for.

The fact is that in the grand scheme of the vulva,

the visible clitoris is a small part of a much larger

anatomy, however there is much more to the

clitoris than meets the eye. Less than one quarter

of the clitoris can be seen externally – the glans

clitoris, which we can usually identify in popular

culture just as “the clitoris” – is the only part

of the organ visible and can vary in size person

to person. However, the overall clitoris is around

8-10cm in length and is made up of multiple parts.

Myth: Periods are dirty

Fact: Periods are perfectly normal

and not dirty

Almost half the world’s population will have a

period at some stage in the lives. On average a

person who menstruates will have approximately

400+ periods in their lifetime between the ages of

12 years old to 50 years old.

Yet there is a cloud of shame and stigma that

has been put over periods that has led society

to condition individuals to be discrete about their

period. Hiding tampons and pads up jumper sleeves

or in trouser and skirt pockets is commonplace, as

is not discussing it with friends or family – recent

figures form the Eve Appeal published in 2019

highlight that 1 in 4 young menstruating people

did not know what a period was until they had

one.

The stigma of toxins and cleanliness linked to

periods has come from a lack of discussion about

what a period actually is. A lack of understanding

and information means that throughout history

women have been told to be discrete about their

period, hide it away from the people around them

and it has been linked with out toilets and going

to the bathroom – but your period is nothing like

urination or having a poo!

Period blood isn’t the body’s way of flushing out

toxins or waste like going to the toilet. Period

blood also isn’t just 100% blood; it is made up of

several elements such as blood, mucus, bacteria

and uterine tissue. The thickness and consistency

of a period bleed can also vary from person to

person, as can the volume of blood within a period

bleed.

14 15

The lack of gynaecological education has left many

without basic understanding of their anatomy,

leading them to ignore or disengage with certain

areas of the body.

15

Myth: Vaginas are dirty

and smelly – they need to be

washed

Fact: Vaginas are not dirty

There is a huge misconception within popular

culture that you need to clean your vulva and

vagina regularly or even daily, to make it ‘clean’.

The vagina is self – cleaning

It doesn’t need any additional help form soaps or

deodorants, especially ones that are perfumed or

scented. In fact, by doing this it can cause more

harm than good.

Douches, cleanses, deodorants, steams,

vinegar and pH balancing products all can harm the

good bacteria that lives in your vagina. Ironically,

it can CAUSE odour due to increased levels of

bacteria growing in the vagina to compensate for

everything washed away. If you alter the levels of

vaginal flora (bacteria) this can lead to infections

such as thrush and bacterial vaginosis, which more

often than not show symptoms though smell and

itching.

A healthy vagina will produce a number of smells,

but it’s never going to smell of a ‘floral scent’ or

‘ocean air’ – nor should it. The vulva and vagina

are unique to each individual. We all have our own

unique body odour and smells – it is important

to understand what is normal in order to assess

changes in our own bodies. If there is a pungent

or overpowering smell being given off by a vagina

it could be a sign of infection and shouldn’t be

masked with products, but looked at by a medical

professional

16

Myth: Discharge means there

is something wrong

Fact: Its perfectly normal

Discharge is a form of mucus that the body

produces from the cervix, the opening of the

uterus. It is a completely normal occurrence and

is the natural way the vagina keeps itself healthy

and clean.

Vaginal discharge is usually completely normal if

it is clear or white, thick and sticky, slippery and

wet, and the amount of it your body secretes can

vary person to person. Some individuals may never

notice their vaginal discharge, yet others may see

it daily. It is also common to get heavier or more

frequent discharge when pregnant or sexually

active.

If for any reason your discharge appears to

change in texture or is unusually discoloured from

what you are used to it is always worth consulting

a medical professional, especially if it is paired

with any itching or burning sensation.

Myth: If you use a tampon

you’re no longer a virgin

Fact: This is incorrect for many

reasons

A common myth that has circulated about using

inserted sanitary products is that it affects your

status as a virgin. Concerns about breaking a

hymen or insertion meaning you have been

penetrated and therefore no longer a virgin have

led to the avoidance of using tampons and

menstrual cups by menstruating people for

decades. To really interrogate this, we have to

break this down into two ideas – firstly what is

the hymen and secondly what virginity is defined

as.

What is a hymen?

The hymen is a thin membrane tissue that

surrounds, and in some cases can partially cover,

the external vaginal opening and is part of the

vulva.

It is a popular misconception that a tear or break

in the hymen is a physical signal of a loss of

virginity. Newsflash – like the majority of skin over

your body the hymen stretches and in fact doesn’t

ordinarily cover the entire vaginal opening, so

you would not need to be “broken” to allow for

penetration. If it did this would affect other bodily

functions such as discharge and menstrual blood

exiting from the body and would require surgical

intervention. Because it is a stretchy membrane,

the hymen wouldn’t be affected at all by the

insertion of a tampon or other menstrual product,

if properly inserted.

Why is virginity so interlinked with the hymen?

Virginity is a social construct. When an individual

has sexual intercourse for the first time there is no

physiological or biological change that takes place

within the body, meaning that the idea of virginity

has been instigated by society, not science. The

myth that first-time vaginal sex almost always

results in pain and bleeding is not intrinsically

linked with the hymen and the hymen tearing.

These symptoms most often occur because a

person is not sexually aroused or is anxious, therefore

the vagina is not self-lubricating or prepared

for penetrative sex.

EDUCATION

EDUCATION

EDUCATION

EDUCATION

EDUCATION

EDUCATION

EDUCATION

17

EDUCATIONEDUCATION

EDUCATIONEDUCATION

EDUCATIONEDUCATION

Myth: Pubic hair is dirty and

unhygienic

Fact: it’s actually more hygienic

to have it

Firstly, a disclaimer: your pubic hair is your own

business.

There is no judgement to anyone who chooses

to groom their pubic hair, or in fact remove it all

together, if that is your personal choice. However,

it is important that you are doing so for the right

reasons and are properly informed.

Pubic hair exists to protect the genitals from

friction and infection, a natural barrier that has

developed throughout human evolution to stop

bacteria and other nasites from entering the vulva

and vagina. However, society and its history have

depicted the vulva and the pubis hair-free for

almost a millennium.

Pubic hair isn’t unhygienic or dirty, much like the

hair on the rest of your body isn’t. It is in fact

more often less hygienic to shave or wax your

pubic hair as through removing the hair many

individuals will get cuts, grazes or ingrown hairs

that led to inflammation and an increased chance

of infection. The use of blunt razors and incorrect

application of waxing products can also lead to

skins infections and more serious damage to the

hair follicles on and around the pubis and

hyperpigmentation of the skin.

Myth: If you have lots of PIV

sex your vagina will get loose

and your labia will get longer.

Fact: The amount of PIV sex

you have has no impact on the

size and shape of you anatomy.

The shape and size of your labia is in no way

affected by the amount of sexual activity you

partake in. No one shape or size labia is more

normal or abnormal than another – it is perfectly

normal for them to be different in colour from

your skin tone as well as not being symmetrical.

Like other parts of your body, your labia also grow

and change throughout your adult life – this is a

completely normal and in no way a reflection of

your sexual activity. You can often notice a slight

change in the shape or size of labia during and

just after sexual activity as the labia, as many

other parts of the vulva, swell when aroused. They

will, however, return to their former shape/size

within a short amount of time with no long-lasting

effect.

We can often point the finger as to why such

myths about the vulva and vagina exist at

patriarchal ideals of small, neat vaginas that are

perpetuated through free mainstream pornography.

It is also due to lack of representative examples in

education and even daily interactions such as shop

mannequins and swimsuit adverts.

The ideal of virginal, clean vulvas being small,

discreet and tight is also worryingly being

distributed through formal education.

Myth: If you have a vagina

then you are a woman

Fact: Not in all cases

Not all women have a vagina, and not all

individuals with a vagina identify as a women.

When discussing the links between anatomy an

gender it is important to first identify the two

main terminologies used when identifying an

individual – one being sex, and the other being

gender.

18 19

Your Sex

An individual’s sex is usually assigned at birth

and is determined through your hormones and

chromosomes, as well as your internal and external

anatomy. Individuals can be identified as male,

female or intersex.

Females will typically present with a vulva, vagina

and uterus (anatomy) and XX chromosomes,

referred to as homogametic.

Males will typically present with a penis, testicles

(anatomy) and XY chromosomes, referred to as

the heterogametic.

Intersex is when a person’s sex characteristics are

not what is presented in typical male or female

individuals and isn’t always understood at birth,

potentially highlighting itself later on in life and

during puberty.

Your gender

Gender is how an individual identifies themselves

and leads us to use the terms boy or man, girl

or women, gender fluid or non-binary to describe

ourselves. The terms gender fluid and non-binary

refer to individuals who do not identify themselves

as male or female.

It is important to understand that gender is

spectrum and people can identify themselves at a

number of points along this spectrum between the

binary gender norms of man or woman.

Transgender individuals are people whose gender

does not correspond with their birth sex. A person

can present female sex characteristics but identify

as a male, or present male sex characteristics

but identify as a female. Transgender people may

choose to medically transition through hormones

and surgery to change their sex, but many choose

not to or are unable to. In order to express their

gender, the use of pronouns, name and dress can

also enable an individual to express their identity

with or without surgery.

It is also important to reference that there are

many individuals who do not express their true

gender identity due to fear of persecution and

violence.

Labelling all people with a vagina as a woman, as

female or determining that in order to be a woman

or identify as female you must have a vagina, you

label the lived experience of many individuals as

invalid or untrue. This is particularly damaging to

those who do not associate with their birth sex,

who are severely unrepresented in society and

fight daily to live their lives as their true self.

We must learn to understand that our identities

are not tied to our biology and/or anatomy, and

learn to be more inclusive and understanding of

every individual’s beliefs and choices regarding

their bodies and their identity.

19

Myth: You can’t get pregnant

if...

There are literally hundreds of myths surrounding

contraception – most are hearsay that have been

passed down form generation to generation, but

others have historically been circulated as fact but

are just not true! Here are just a few examples

The women doesn’t orgasm

This urban legend has been around since Ancient

Greece! Victorian doctors specifically advised men

not to “titillate” their wives should they not want

a child, as the likelihood of pregnancy

apparently increased tenfold if a women enjoyed

sexual intercourse.

This myth has been delivered simply from the fact

that the male orgasm is interlinked with

ejaculation of sperm. Whilst people with penises

must ejaculate to produce sperm, most people

with uteruses release an egg each month as part

of their menstrual cycle. This happens whether

they are sexually active or not, therefore orgasms

have no link to pregnancy in women.

You shower, urinate or douche

right after sex

NOPE. Sorry but none of these are an effective

contraception against pregnancy.

After ejaculation, any sperm that has reached

and entered the cervix is well out of reach if any

cleaning solution or water, and if you urinate this

doesn’t enter your vagina at all, so has no bearing

on anything that has been left inside the internal

anatomy.

It is, however, thought to be good to urinate after

sex to avoid UTI infections.

20

If your parent pulls out before

they ejaculate

It is a common misconception that is a person

with a penis uses a withdrawal method before

climax that this means no sperm has been left in

the vagina.

It can be a common occurrence in certain

individuals to release some ejaculate (the fluid that

contains sperm) before they even begin to climax,

and many who rely on the withdrawal method

often do not withdraw in time.

Recent studies have shown that for every 100

people attempting to use this as a method of

contraception, 22 have has unintended pregnancy.

If this is my first time having

sexual intercourse

You can get pregnant any time ovulation occurs,

even if you have never had PIV (penis in vagina)

sexual intercourse before. Pregnancy does not have

any link to the number of times an individual has

had intercourse, it is linked with the biology of

that individual and whether or not their ovulation

cycles have begun.

If you have sex standing up

Some people believe that gravity is so powerful it

will literally pull the sperm right back out again!

Unfortunately, not… positions have nothing to do

with whether or not fertilization occurs – sperm’s

natural instinct is to move upwards, through the

cervix, immediately after ejaculation. In fact, the

speed which ejaculation occurs often means that

sperm can make it to the cervix immediately after

climax. Much like douching or showering, standing

up will not get rid of any of the semen that has

already made it past the cervical opening.

EDUCATION

EDUCATION

Yes – some believe if you have sex in a hot tub

If you have PIV sex in a hot

tub

that the hot, bubbling waters will simply kill off

any sperm left inside of you, acting as a

spermicide. Thus is absolutely not the case! As

previously mentions, if a penis ejaculates inside a

EDUCATION

vagina there is nothing that can wash away sperm

that has passed through the cervix.

Additionally, we would like to clarify that

EDUCATION

you also

cannot get pregnant simply by being in a hot tub

that an individual may have had PIV sex in… whilst

they may not kill sperm, these are not pools of

living sperm!

EDUCATION

You are breastfeeding

Biologically is it possible to get pregnant anytime

from three weeks after giving birth. You do not

have to have had your period – many regain

fertility weeks before any physical signs of a

period, and breastfeeding alone is not a

contraceptive from becoming pregnant.

EDUCATION

EDUCATION

pregnancy. These are the gonadotropin releasing

hormone and luteinising hormone. However, these

EDUCATION

hormones are temporarily reduced during breastfeeding,

not removed completely. They will also

The belief that breastfeeding acts as a

contraceptive have circled in popular culture due to

breastfeeding reducing certain hormones within the

body that are needed for ovulation and

vary in level depending on a variety of factors

such as how often a baby feeds and if you have

started to have your period again.

EDUCATION

EDUCATION

21

THE

RAINBOW

PROJECT

The Rainbow Project is a health organisation that

works to improve the physical, mental & emotional

health and well-being of lesbian, gay, bisexual and/or

transgender people in Northern Ireland.

It is quite common for an LGBT+ person to come

out at college - but what if you are still not really

sure what sexual orientation and/or gender identity

you are? Many LGBT+ people we speak to worry

about not having the correct label for themselves

from the start - what if they come out as an

identity that later turns out to be incorrect?

Remember that many identities can change or

evolve over time, not just sexual orientation and/

or gender identity! If the label you use to describe

yourself changes that’s not because you are a

liar or an attention seeker, just that you’ve found

something that fits you better now!

Labels can help us find other people who have

lived through similar experiences so we can learn

more about ourselves, get support and make

friends. It’s not like a box that you have to fit

yourself into, it’s just words – so use whatever

words make you feel confident and happy being

you. Whether that’s just one word like

'bisexual’ or a whole bunch of words like

'biromantic demi-sexual genderqueer person’ - it’s

your identity and however you want to describe it

is up to you and no one else!

But where do you start when you’re questioning

your sexual orientation and/or gender identity?

The best advice I can give is to meet other LGBT+

people (either online or IRL) to find out about

other peoples’ experiences with their sexuality and

identity so you can learn what ones best suit you.

Find a safe space like at The Belfast Trans

Resource Centre, HereNI, Cara-Friend or The

Rainbow Project where you can comfortably learn

and try on different identities or orientations until

you find the fit that’s right for you now. You

university or college may have an LGBT society

too!

Just like labels meaning different things to

different people, coming out is not a ‘one-size fits

all’ experience. Many people start by coming out

to close friends and when they feel more

confident or comfortable within their identity then

they might come out to family. However, it’s

important to note that not everyone wants to

or can come out to everyone, (perhaps for their

safety or due to housing security or financial

issues) but whatever the reason - please respect

their decision and never out someone without their

express permission.

Most of the time parents have a neutral to

positive reaction to their children coming as LGBT,

but sometimes parents need support to learn how

to accept and celebrate their child’s ‘new’

identity. We have a peer-led support group for

parents or guardians of LGBT+ children called

Family Ties that meets in Belfast regularly, which

creates a safe space for parents or guardians to

talk to one another about their concerns and an

opportunity to attend informational workshops to

help answer their questions or allay their fears.

Discovering your sexual orientation or gender

identity and coming out can be quite stressful,

awkward and uncomfortable as much as it is

liberating – if you’re feeling overwhelmed

emotionally remember that there is help out there

for you! The Rainbow Project offer free counselling

for LBGT people and those questioning their sexual

orientation or gender identity. You just have to

contact us by phone (028 90 319 030) or e-mail

(leo@rainbow-project.org) to arrange an

appointment.”

22 23

23

SEXUALITY IS NOT

STATIC

SEXUALITY IS NOT

STATIC

SEXUALITY IS NOT

STATIC

24

25

CUMING

OUT

I was in the popular group at school and always

around such ‘straight’ people. They would have

made fun of others for being gay/lesbian and I

hate to admit that often I had to join in so I would

‘fit in’.

I was around 15 when I knew I wasn’t completely

‘straight’ but I never ever thought I would or even

could act upon it. However, watching things such

as ‘The L Word’ and ‘Orange is the New Black’

didn’t make it any easier to hide my sexuality. I

tried to

conceal my sexuality and did what I think a lot of

girls who are confused do… get a boyfriend. That

way, people wouldn’t question my sexuality.

If I could go back and give myself any advice, it

would be to stay true to myself. Don’t just make

decisions to ‘fit in’ and please everyone else.

Make decisions based on my happiness and not the

happiness of others.

I was 18 when I came out to my friends and

family and honestly it was like a weight had been

lifted off my shoulders. In the start, I did lose

friends and my family were confused, it was a

confusing time for everyone including myself.

However at 19 when I met my now girlfriend of

almost 4 years, I knew it was all worth it. Although

it took time for people to come to terms with the

‘new’ me, I think a lot of my friends and family

LGBTQ

LGBTQ

LGBTQ

LGBTQ

LGBTQ

LGBTQ

LGBTQ

LGBTQ

LGBTQ

would agree that the ‘new’ me was a more true

version of me because I was now so much happier.

LGBTQ

I always say, time is the greatest healer. I did lose

a few friends, but gained SO many. The friends

I have around me now understand me and give

me the confidence to live my life the way I want.

My family are now also super supportive, even

my granny who took the longest to come around

has me and my girlfriend over for lunch regularly.

Things I never thought possible are now possible

such as if I wanted to marry my girlfriend in

Northern Ireland, I now can.

So never give up on yourself, give things time and

ALWAYS do what makes YOU happy, not to make

others happy.

Hannah, 21, University Student

Northern Ireland

At a young age I always knew I was different just

by the way I acted or the way I went about things

it was just a very peculiar way for a young boy to

get on, I wasn’t interested in typical boy things

I was always more interested in what was going

on with people and their lives and in somewhat

always acting that bit older than my age which

I put to the fact my brother and sister where

like on average 12 years older than me. I always

found myself even when I was so small I was very

reserved when I was near any boys whether it was

family members or friends I just felt like I was on

the other team if you want to put it that way, I

just couldn’t bond with them or click in anyway. It

was as if my underdeveloped young mind perceived

myself as a young girl as I latched on to every

female within the family and always had an interest

in what they were doing and felt that common

ground when surrounded by them.

On going problems at home sort of left me with

my older brother and sister, but my brother sort

of fought and resented me at times as he was

a lot younger than my sister so I guess this

led me to sway and lean towards my sister for

guidance. Doing this meant this is where most of

my influence and learning was coming from in my

main years of emotional and physical development.

So, I was picking up a lot of female habits and a

lot of knowledge based around the typical female

lifestyle, this is where a seed was planted around

my sexuality at a very young age, whether it is

voluntarily or genetically who knows but I felt it

Skipping more so into high school the continued

feeling of being fake and disgusting continues, and

more of my great cover up plans began to unfold

but this time at the cost of others feelings. I

found myself becoming more in the loop with older

people as I had family members older within the

high school, so I decided great new plan, let’s get

David a little girlfriend. This soon made me a lot

of guy friends which was new to me, but I wasn’t

complaining, and did I mention I loved sport now,

like REALLY loved it, because I was one of the lads

now, new school who dis. So anyways I was very

young and had actually convinced myself of all

these things as I was so desperate for change and

for the old me to be a thing of the past. I got a

girlfriend and for a while this was a brilliant thing

it was all for show and all great as I was the guy

with the girlfriend. Until things began to get more

serious and feelings got deeper and sexually

education became a thing, even though I was

aware of the birds and the bees or as I knew the

bee’s and the bees. Long story short I lost my

virginity to a girl at a very young age. This had

totally sealed the deal; I was straight I had just

done the business and I wasn’t going to be

convinced otherwise. Until a guy who knew a lot

about the bee’s and the bee’s lets just say came

along and threw a spanner in the works, this led

me to venture from my sealed deal of straightness

into this mystery mans arms and test out how

curious I was, yet again at a very young age

I finally came out and told my brother and sister

everything at 19 as I felt I had no choice. I was

soon to find out they already knew as they found

old valentine’s cards and sexual gifts from previous

relationships in my old room from home when they

were cleaning it out. This was MASSIVE I felt like

a new person. Very damaged but a dark cloud left

the early hours of that morning. So, I finally felt

like I could come home and be myself, my brother

and sister didn’t treat me any differently and were

always supportive of me and continue to be

Although it was an awful dark journey at times I

don’t think I would change any of it as I’m living

in the best city studying what I love with the best

bunch of people and it wouldn’t be like this if it

wasn’t for the lessons no matter how awful they

were. Although some family members are in the

shadow of my sexuality due to protecting their

mental health, I know they love me unconditionally

just like all my family and friends. I am proud of

who I am and how far I’ve come, although we all

have our insecurities, I can say I am feeling

confident, happy, successful and brand new

compared to a year or two ago. Despite the

stereotypes and partial hate in the world I love

being me and wouldn’t want to be anybody else, I

am proud of me. Stay blessed not stressed. X

David, 22, University Student

Liverpool

26 27

27

THE FIRST

F*CK

My first time having sex was just after my 17th

birthday with my boyfriend. I feel like I was more

excited than nervous for having sex for the first

time, I think this was mainly because it was with

someone who at the time I loved and it was also

his first time too so that put me at ease.

Obviously I had all these expectations of what it

was going to be like and I thought it would be

super easy and everything would just sort of fall

into place naturally, but I was wrong. Neither of

us had a clue what we were doing so it took us a

while to figure out where to put everything. It hurt

to begin with, but we were never taught about

using things like lube to make it easier, but by the

end it was really enjoyable and we high-fived each

other when it was over. Overall my first time

having sex was a great experience and I knew it

was something that I absolutely loved doing.

My first time was the April before my 17th

birthday. Me and my boyfriend at the time had

been dating for just over a month. As a young

female teen, losing my virginity and having sex for

the first time was something that I was always

curious about. It seemed to be the ‘thing’ at that

age. If I am honest I couldn’t wait to do it. Me

and my boyfriend where watching a movie in his

room and one thing lead to another. Looking back

I remember feeling safe and it was completely

consensual. I would have to admit to being nervous

as I didn’t exactly know what to expect as I had

never really spoke to anyone about having sexual

intercourse. During my experience I definitely

enjoyed myself and am very grateful that I did not

have a bad first experience. We both took the

necessary precautions and used protection which

was highly important to me. Although many

people believe that your ‘first time’ is a huge deal,

at that age I never looked at it that way it just

felt right at the time and I trusted him. After it

happened I remembering feeling closer to my

boyfriend and we both had a positive experience.

My first time having sex wasn’t a very good

experience for me. I lost my virginity when I was

very young to a girl mainly because I was confused

about my sexuality and felt like having sex would

definitely confirm that I was straight. I was wrong.

In fact it actually made me more confused because

I didn’t hate it completely but I knew there should

have been something more too it. I guess virginity

to me at that point didn’t mean as much as it

does to other people, it was just something that

I wanted rid of and to say that I had done almost

in a sense to prove my masculinity. It was both of

our first times having sex so we were as confused

as each other on what to do or how to act which

made the whole situation a little easier despite the

confusion as to whether or not this is what I really

wanted.

Looking back, I wish I had been true to my feelings

and myself and held off. I didn’t need to rush

into sex the way I did, although I don’t regret any

of it and still am in contact with the girl I had my

first time with.

David, 22 University Student

Liverpool

have it when you want

too and feel ready

F*CKF*CKF*CKF*CKF*CKF*CKF*CKF*CKF*CKF*CK

Danielle, 22, Univesity Student

Ellie, 20, University Student

Northen Ireland

Liverpool


28


29


30 31

31

WOMEN

AGAINST

RAPE

23% (almost 1 in 4) of

all women in the UK (over

16) have been raped

There is no excuse for rape or sexual violence.

Whatever you did, it is not your fault. If you have

been sexually harassed or attacked, seek help from

someone you trust. You may want to speak to a

friend or relative. You are stronger when you are

not alone.

Social acknowledgement of sexual assault (such as

prosecution or compensation) is an important step

towards healing. In deciding whether to report to

the police, bear in mind that’s the only way to get

your attacker arrested and prosecuted. If you’re

unsure about reporting, and the attack was very

recent try to get medical evidence collected by a

professional, as it will be lost within a few days.

You can find out more and get help from victim’s

rights organisations like us https://againstrape.

net or email war@womenagainstrape.net, or a local

rape crisis centre (see https://rapecrisis.org.uk/

get-help/ for a local service near you or helpline).

Organisations can help you work out what to do,

no matter when something bad happened.

32

WARWARWARWARWAR

WARWARWARWARWAR

WARWARWARWARWAR

33

WARWARWARWARWAR

PERIOD

34 35

35

SEXY FACTS

SEXY FACTS

Sex is good for your heart

People who have sex feel

healthier

It could be that people who feel healthier have

more sex, but there seems to be a link between

sexual activity and your sense of wellbeing.

A study of 3,000 Americans aged 57-85 showed

that those who were having sex rated their

general health higher than those who weren't.

And it's not just sex – it's love, too. People who

were in a close relationship or married were more

likely to say they felt in "very good" or

"excellent" health than just "good" or "poor".

It seems that emotional and social support can

boost our sense of wellbeing.

Sex can be a stress buster

Sex could help you beat the stresses of 21st

century living, according to a small study of 46

men and women.

Participants kept a diary of sexual activity,

recording penetrative sex, non-penetrative sex and

masturbation.

In stress tests, including public speaking and doing

mental arithmetic out loud, the people who had

no sex at all had the highest stress levels.

People who only had penetrative sex had the

smallest rise in blood pressure. This shows that

they coped better with stress.

Anything that exercises your heart is good for

you, including sex. Sexual arousal sends the heart

rate higher, and the number of beats per minute

reaches its peak during orgasm

Weekly sex might help fend off

illness

There's a link between how often you have sex

and how strong your immune system is,

researchers say.

A study in Pennsylvania found students who had

sex once or twice a week had higher levels of an

important illness-fighting substance in their bodies.

Immunoglobulin A (IgA) was 30% higher in those

who had sex once or twice a week than in those

who had no sex at all. The lowest levels were in

people who had sex more than twice a week.

A hug keeps tension away

Embracing someone special can lower blood

pressure, according to researchers.

In one experiment, couples who held each other's

hands for 10 minutes followed by a 20-second

hug had healthier reactions to subsequent stress,

such as public speaking.

Compared with couples who rested quietly without

touching, the huggers had:

lower heart rate

lower blood pressure

smaller heart rate increases

So give your partner a hug – it may help to keep

your blood pressure healthy.

Similar effects have been found for non-sexual

stroking, although this appears to only reduce

blood pressure in women who are stroked, not

men.

FACTFACTFACTFACTFACT




36 37

37

38 39

39

SAFE IS

SEXYAnal penetrative sex

Facts and stats on safe sex

from the NHS, safe is sexy.

Vaginal penetrative sex

If a condom is not used, there's a risk of

pregnancy and getting or passing on STIs,

including:

Chlamydia

Genital herpes

Genital warts

Gonorrhoea

HIV

Syphilis

Infections can be passed on even if the penis

doesn't fully enter the vagina or the man doesn't

ejaculate (come). This is because infections can be

present in pre-ejaculate fluid (pre-come).

Even shallow insertion of the penis into the vagina

(sometimes called dipping) carries risks for both

partners. Using a condom can help protect against

infections.

This is when a man's penis enters (penetrates)

his partner's anus. Some people choose to do this

as part of their sex life, and others don't. Men

and women can choose to have anal sex whether

they're gay or straight.

Anal sex has a higher risk of spreading STIs than

many other types of sexual activity. This is

because the lining of the anus is thin and can

easily be damaged, which makes it more vulnerable

to infection.

STIs that can be passed on during anal sex include:

Chlamydia

Genital herpes

Genital warts

Gonorrhoea

HIV

Syphilis

Using condoms helps protect against STIs when

you have anal sex.

If you use lubricants, only use water-based ones,

which are available from pharmacies. Oil-based

lubricants such as lotion and moisturiser can cause

condoms to break or fail.

SEXYSEXYSEXYSEXYSEXY









40 41

Oral sex

Oral sex involves sucking or licking the vagina,

penis or anus. Some men and women (gay and

straight) choose to do this as part of their sex

life, and others don't.There's a risk of getting or

passing on STIs if you're giving or receiving oral

sex. The risk increases if either of you has sores

or cuts around the mouth, genitals or anus.

This is because viruses and bacteria, which may be

present in semen, vaginal fluid or blood, can travel

more easily into a partner's body through breaks

in the skin.

Generally, the risk of infection is lower when you

receive oral sex than when you give someone oral

sex. However, it is still possible for STIs to be

passed on.

STIs that can be passed on through oral sex

include:

Chlamydia

Herpes – type 1 and type 2, which can cause cold

Sores around the mouth and on the genitals or

anus

Genital warts

Gonorrhoea

Hepatitis A, hepatitis B and hepatitis C

HIV

Syphilis

If you have a cold sore and you give your partner

oral sex, you can infect them with the herpes

virus. Similarly, herpes can pass from the genitals

to the mouth.

The risk of passing on or getting HIV during oral

sex is lower than anal or vaginal sex without a

condom. However, the risk is increased if there are

any cuts or sores in or around the mouth, genitals

or anus.

You can make oral sex safer by using a condom

as it acts as a barrier between the mouth and the

penis.

Fingering

This is when someone inserts one or more fingers

into their partner's vagina or anus. It's not

common for fingering to spread STIs, but there are

still risks.

If there are any cuts or sores on the fingers, no

matter how small, the risk of passing on or getting

an STI increases.

Some people gradually insert the whole hand into a

partner's vagina or anus, this is called fisting. Not

everyone chooses to do this.

Again, the risk of infection is higher if either

person has any cuts or broken skin that come into

contact with their partner. You can lower the risk

by wearing surgical gloves.

Sex toys

This covers a wide range of items, including

vibrators and sex dolls. Any object used in sex can

be called a sex toy, whether it's designed for this

use or not.

It's important to keep sex toys clean. If you're

sharing sex toys, make sure you wash them

between each use and always use a new condom

each time.

Sharing sex toys has risks, including getting and

passing on infections such as chlamydia, syphilis

and herpes. If there are any cuts or sores around

the vagina, anus or penis and there's blood,

there's an increased risk of passing on hepatitis B,

hepatitis C and HIV.

41

THE ‘C’

WORD

Where to get contraception

Contraceptive services are free and confidential. This includes services for people under 16, as long as

they're mature enough to understand the information and the decisions involved.

You can get contraception for free from:

Most GP surgeries (talk to your GP or practice nurse)

Community contraception clinics

Sexual health clinics (these offer contraceptive and STI testing services)

Some young people's services

Contraception aims to prevent pregnancy.

A woman can get pregnant if a man's sperm reaches one of her eggs (ova).

Contraception tries to stop this happening by keeping the egg and sperm apart stopping egg production

stopping the combined sperm and egg (fertilised egg) attaching to the lining of the womb.

Contraception is free for most people in the UK. Condoms can also be bought in

pharmacies and supermarkets.

With 15 methods to choose from, you can find one that suits you best.

Barrier methods, such as condoms, are a form of contraception that help to

protect against both sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and pregnancy.

You should use condoms to protect both your sexual health and that of your partner, no matter what

other contraception you're using to

prevent pregnancy.

Many of these services also offer information, testing and treatment for STIs. If you have had unprotected

sex and think there's a chance you might get

pregnant, you're also at risk of catching an STI.

Before you make an appointment, try to find out as much as possible about the contraceptive options

available.

Your choice of contraception may vary over time, depending on your lifestyle and circumstances.

The 15 methods of contraception

Don't be put off if the first type you

use isn't quite right: you can try

another.

Different methods of contraception:

Caps

Combined pill

Condoms (female)

Condoms (male)

Contraceptive implant

Contraceptive injection

SAFESEXSAFESEXSAFESEXSAFESEX


42


43


Contraceptive patch

Diaphragms

Intrauterine device (IUD)

Intrauterine system (IUS)

Natural family planning

Progestogen-only pill

Vaginal ring

There are 2 permanent methods of

contraception:

Female sterilisation

Male sterilisation (vasectomy)

43

TABOO

“SEX IS DRIVING

FORCE ON THE

PLANET. WE

SHOULD EMBRACE

IT, NOT SEE IT AS

THE ENEMY”

- HUGH HEFNER

44 45

45

ZINTETA

CINTA

TORT

CARTRO

Her colourful depictions of stretch marks,

period blood, and the female anatomy aim to foster self-love in the hearts of girls

who may feel ashamed of their bodies. Cartro’s creative awakening was inspired by

her own difficult path to self-love, which makes the message of her work all the more

powerful.

“Stretch marks are part of our essence, our moments, our lives, our stories and us,”

Cartro writes on Instagram. “To accept all this is to accept your roots, your history,

everything in it and, after all, accept yourself.”

46 47

47

48 49

49

50 51

51

52 53

53

FREEDAFREEDAFREEDA

FREEDAFREEDAFREEDA

FREEDAFREEDAFREEDA

FREEDAFREEDAFREEDA

FREEDA

FREEDAFREEDAFREEDA

FREEDAFREEDAFREEDA

FREEDAFREEDAFREEDA

FREEDAFREEDAFREEDA

FREEDAFREEDAFREEDA

FREEDAFREEDAFREEDA

FREEDAFREEDAFREEDA

FREEDAFREEDAFREEDA

FREEDAFREEDAFREEDA

Behind every great woman

is a group of other great

women

It is super important to remove the stigma around

this. Thankfully, discussions around sex are being

brought to mainstream conversation more and

more, but there’s still a lot of work to be done.

At Freeda, we encourage the celebration of female

power, and that includes female sexuality. Sex

should be a consensual, enjoyable experience.

SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX

SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX

FREEDAFREEDAFREEDA

55

FREEDAFREEDAFREEDA

54

SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX

SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX

55

“SEX IS A PART

OF NATURE.

I GO ALONG

WITH NATURE.”

- MARILYN MONROE

PORN

56 57

57

SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX





FUMBLE





issues, etc).




We are a digital media non-profit for sex and

relationships education

Fumble’s aims

To create highly relevant, shareable and interactive

digital sex and relationships content for young

people.

To be a 'Buzzfeed for relationships and sex

education'.

To be an irreverent and trustworthy voice, offering

a happy and healthy alternative to the dominant

voice of porn in the digital landscape.

To have the widest possible reach among our

target demographic, with the best possible

content.

To cater the to the reality of what young people

are facing, rather than anything else (we don't

restrict ourselves by legal ages for sex, social

taboos, ideological or religious

Fumble’s target demographic

Any young person curious about sex, gender,

identity and relationships. 20 and under.

How we do it

We work in close partnership with other groups,

while retaining a distinct identity of our own. We

work with celebrities, popular bloggers, existing

media organisations and relevant charities or

similar, in any way that will help us to meet our

aims. We work closely with the young people’s

sexual health and wellbeing charity Brook, the

leading sexual health charity in the UK. We’re

backed by the Great Initiative, the Women’s

Equality Party and Shape History.

Who we are

The team is currently a talented group of 30+

volunteers who are passionate about the project.

We are health, education and media professionals,

all in our early- to mid-twenties. We’re conscious

of the need to be a diverse group, most

importantly across ethnic backgrounds, genders,

and sexualities. We need to have a robust and

varied spread of voices to make this a credible,

representative and viable project.

58 59

59

SELF

LEASURE

60 61

61

62 63

HELPLINE

INFORMATION

British Pregnancy Advisory Service (bpas)

– provides advice and support about contraception,

abortion and sexual health; call the helpline on

03457 30 40 30, open 24 hours a day, 7 days a

week, or email info@bpas.org

Brook – the young people's sexual health charity

for under-25s provides advice, support and

information about your nearest sexual health clinic

FPA – provides information about individual

methods of contraception, STIs, pregnancy choices,

abortion and planning a pregnancy

Switchboard: the LGBT+ helpline – provides

an information, support and referral service for

lesbians, gay men, bisexual and trans (transgender,

transsexual, transvestite) people; call the helpline

on 0300 330 0630, open 10am to 11pm daily

Terrence Higgins Trust – provides information,

support and advice about HIV and sexual health;

call the helpline on 0808 802 1221, open 10am

to 8pm Monday to Friday

64 65

65

66 67

67

CONTRIBUTOR

PROFILES

Jasmine Gardosi

Jasmine Gardosi is the current Axis

Slam Champion and former

Cheltenham Poetry Festival, Mix

It Up Midlands and International

Pangaea Poetry Slam winner. She

has appeared on BBC Radio 3’s

The Verb, BBC Asian Network and

at Glastonbury Festival. A recent

BBC Slam Finalist, she has also been

shortlisted for the Outspoken

Poetry Prize for Performance

and for Birmingham Poet Laureate

2018/20

The Rainbow Project

The Rainbow Project is a health

organisation that works to improve

the physical, mental & emotional

health and well-being of lesbian, gay,

bisexual and/or transgender people

in Northern Ireland.

David Cowan, Hannah

Andrews & Eliie

Comac

All three are univeristy

students studying thorughout

the UK.

Cinta Tort Cartro

A artist and activist based in

barcelona. Cinta’s artwork displays

the female body in a beautiful

light, highlighting areas of

the body most find unattractive

and makes them something to be

adored.

Fumble UK

Freeda UK

Women Against Rape

Foxanne Designs

Fumble is a non-profit digital

platform creating relevant,

accessible and inclusive sex ed

content for young people. It covers

puberty, bodies, identity, pleasure,

gender, relationships, mental health

and more.

Freeda is a global sex positive and

female empowerment platform that

uses social media (Instagram) to encourages

the celebration of female

power and sexuality.

Offers support, legal advocacy

and information to women and girls

who have been raped or sexually

assaulted. Supports survivors

when they report to the police, seek

protection from further attacks, or

are preparing for court; applying for

compensation; or claiming asylum

from rape.

68 69

A UK based freelance artist who

designs imagery surrounding

female empowerment and offers

sex education and discussion

through the use of Instagram.

69



FIND US AT











70


WWW.WHISPERINGEYE.CO.UK


APP STORE - EYE


71



72

Magazine Final Draft

Create successful ePaper yourself

Delete template?

Save as template?