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Exit Zero Classic V2 N16 August 27, 2004

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August 27, 2004

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Page 38 Exit Zero<br />

August 27, 2004 August 27, 2004 Exit Zero<br />

Page 39<br />

TRADE<br />

WINDS<br />

JEWELRYARTCULTURAL<br />

You’ll<br />

see it<br />

here first<br />

503 Lafayette St.<br />

884-6720<br />

Nonesuch<br />

Beads<br />

& Beautiful Things<br />

Classes for all ages<br />

<br />

Beaded Bags, Shawls,<br />

& Blouses from<br />

Kashmir, India<br />

<br />

Jewelry<br />

<br />

Beads from around<br />

the world<br />

315 Ocean Street,<br />

Washington Commons<br />

(Next to Acme)<br />

(609) 884-2500<br />

Heat up your kitchen,<br />

Spice up your life...<br />

Gourmet foods, items & accessories<br />

404 Washington St. Mall, Cape May<br />

(609) 884-9292 www.lovethecook.com<br />

Also at 272 96th St., Stone Harbor, (609) 967-5252<br />

BALLET ON THE BEACH<br />

Not to be outdone by the high-jinks of the twirlers and flippers who pose<br />

for our photographer, Ashley Fargnoli shows some mean ballet moves<br />

PHOTOGRAPHS BY BRIAN MCMAHON<br />

HAVE they no manners? In my day,<br />

which was a Monday, I recall, and<br />

hot and sunny, though the month<br />

and indeed decade escape me totally, as<br />

does the reason why I recall I was wearing<br />

a pair of velvet loon pants, though I am<br />

sure it was for perfectly sound motives.<br />

Well, in my day, a gent could go walking<br />

down the street in his Sunday best and<br />

not be treated as an exhibit in the world<br />

famous Madame Tussauds Waxwork<br />

Museum in London.<br />

There I was, out for my Sunday constitutional,<br />

dressed as always in my spats,<br />

tweed suit and with a jaunty titfer with a<br />

peacock feather in the brim, while Young<br />

Albert trotted alongside in his matching<br />

tweed doggy coat and his cone. The cone<br />

is admittedly unfortunate, and came about<br />

after he was pecked on the ear by a seagull<br />

he had brought down in mid dive. I think<br />

possibly his reflexes, once tiger-fast, are<br />

slowing. Certainly the look he gave me<br />

when the injury was inflicted was one of<br />

some embarrassment.<br />

Obviously, as his friend and a gentleman<br />

I looked the other way and whisted<br />

a favourite old tune of mine from The<br />

®child<br />

THE OLD FOGEY<br />

THOSE GOOD OLD CAPE MAY DAYS... BY JACKSON D’CATUR<br />

Great War (“Knees Up, Mother Brown,<br />

or You Won’t See My Yukelele”) while he<br />

dispatched the seagull. Anyway, the peck<br />

necessitated a trip to the vet, an old friend<br />

of mine and fellow member of The Cape<br />

May General Lee Volunteers. We chatted<br />

about the old favorites – how Gettysburg<br />

might have come out differently, why<br />

Yankees are by nature morally unsound<br />

and how many paces a chap should pace<br />

when dueling before turning and firing at<br />

one’s opponent.<br />

Anyway, I digress. Albert’s ear needed<br />

to be freed from his incessant scratching,<br />

so the vet put a fetching plastic cone<br />

around his neck, giving him something<br />

of the appearance of an ice cream cone.<br />

As if that was not bad enough – and he<br />

is as unhappy as you might imagine – we<br />

were strolling along the boardwalk when<br />

suddenly a Shoebie of alarmingly obese<br />

proportions stepped in our path and took<br />

a photograph. He distinctly said “Gee!”<br />

which marked him as a Yankee to boot.<br />

I, of, course instantly rapped him over<br />

the knuckles with my silver-topped walking<br />

cane and Albert made a game attempt<br />

to savage his ankles, though sadly the cone<br />

acted as a barrier and the obese Shoebie<br />

looked like he had stepped in a wastepaper<br />

bin as he ran off down the street with<br />

Albert and his cone attached to his foot.<br />

The damage has been done though – a<br />

part of my soul has been stolen and I fear<br />

any day soon I will see myself on the cover<br />

of Newsweek, something that has not happened<br />

since that incident in 1945 with<br />

Stalin. But enough of that here and now.<br />

Jackson D’Catur<br />

LABOR DAY SPECIAL!<br />

care<br />

GOOD FROM NOW UNTIL SEPTEMBER 7 TH<br />

GET AN ENTIRE YEAR FOR $288!<br />

(& discounted processing fee of $29, for a total of $317)<br />

OR Do the Dues: No FEES at all!<br />

Only $39 per month<br />

®tanning<br />

salons<br />

3860 Bayshore Rd., North Cape May (next to Bayshore 8 cinema)<br />

Call today at (609) 886-4842 & Visit us at www.northbeachgym.com

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