Island Grandparent Spring 2020

island
GRAND
parent
Age Is Just
a Number
SPRiNG 2020
Gone But
Not Forgotten
Helping kids deal
with the death of a
beloved grandparent

strollers • cribs
shoes • books
toys • clothing
car seats • carriers
maternity • sleep aids
diaper bags
high chairs
skincare • bedding
1581 Hillside Ave
Victoria
778•265•5651
Across the street from Hillside Centre
SHOP ONLINE AT
MOMEASE.CA
2 Grand IslandParent.ca

Swan Lake
christmas hill
n a t u r e s a n c t u a r y
3873 Swan Lake Road, Victoria, B.C. Canada, V8X 3W1 | www.swanlake.bc.ca | 250-479-0211
IslandParent.ca
Spring 2020 3

SPRING 2020
tABLeoFCONteNts
5
Welcome
How grandparents are setting the pace.
SUE FAST
6
Grandkids say the darndest things
…so listen hard and have your pen ready.
LORRAINE STEPHENS
7
Who said What?
tools to record memories.
8
A Grand Adventure
Sailing solo around
the world…at 77!
RACHEL DUNSTAN MULLER
10
Gone But Not Forgotten
Helping kids deal with the death
of a beloved grandparent.
JACQUI GRAHAM
12
Bridging the
Generation Gap
…and smashing stereotypes.
TIM COLLINS
14
Learning through Play
Setting the foundation for language,
thinking and communication.
16
simple Pleasures
it’s the simple things that are
often most memorable.
SUSAN GNUCCI
18
Art With Nature at Heart
Accessible to everyone—
and outdoors.
EMMA JANE VIGNOLA
20
Make the Most of Mealtimes
eating is about more
than just nutrition.
JANE BARCLAY
22
Age Is Just a Number
How grandchildren keep you young.
SUSAN GNUCCI
Grand’s cover, shot by Katrina Massey, is of her daughter, Aletheia, and her mother, Debbie Esselink, who sadly, passed away on February 3.
The words quoted below accompanied a series of photos Katrina posted on @katrinajmassey in a tribute to her mom.
“M
y mom had a plan. First, my birthday. Then, my sister’s birthday. Then, my brother’s honours ceremony. Then, then it was high tea for my sister and my
birthdays. Celebrated in style with our grandmother and Aletheia as well. All four generations.
Even though my dad was visibly upset and pacing (and sat in the room adjacent the whole time). Even though it took four people to lift her in her
wheelchair up the stairs to the tea room (her head held high, like an Egyptian Queen on her palanquin), even though she barely had sound left in her voice. Even
though the whites of her eyes were alarmingly yellow and she couldn’t stand. She put on her finest warmest clothes, she wore her make up (and praised me for my
choice in lipstick for her at Christmas—‘wasn’t it lovely?’) and donned a pretty headband. She gave the air that everything was fine. She was not gravely ill. She was
just out to tea with her daughters, her mother and her granddaughter. And ‘wasn’t it just perfect?’ And it was. And it wasn’t. We all knew. But we all put it off for just
those hours. We talked about the garden, about how delicious the tea was, how beautiful the tea house was, all the new and funny things Sybil was doing. Aletheia
made some art. My sister smeared flourless chocolate cake all over her teeth and asked my mom ‘Mom, is there something in my teeth?’ We all laughed. The next
day we met for our weekly lunch at my parents house and she smiled and hugged us all and then drifted in and out of consciousness. The ambulance took her to
the hospital where we will love on her until the end.” • @katrinajmassey
Aletheia (5) and
In Memory of
Debbie Esselink
(Dec 5, 1964 –
Feb 3, 2020)
ONtHeCOver
island
GRAND
parent
Gone But
Not Forgotten
Helping kids deal
with the death of a
beloved grandparent
Age Is Just
a Number
Photo
(of her daughter
and mother) by
Katrina Massey
katrinamassey.com
Jim Schneider Publisher publisher@islandparent.ca
Sue Fast Editor editor@islandparent.ca
Linda Frear Account Manager/Office Manager linda@islandparent.ca
Kristine Wickheim Account Manager kristine@islandparent.ca
Katie Derion Account Manager katie@islandparent.ca
Grand, published by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a biannual
publication that honours and supports grandpparents by providing information
on resources and businesses for families and a forum for the exchange of ideas
and opinions. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher.
No material herein may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher.
Grand is distributed free in selected areas. ISSN 0838-5505.
Island Parent Magazine
250-388-6905 islandparent.ca
4 Grand IslandParent.ca

Grandparents these Days
Not only are grandparents keeping
up with their grandchildren these
days, they’re often setting the pace.
Hike up Mt. Finlayson, grandkids in
tow?
No problem.
Cycle the Galloping Goose?
Love to!
Skydive over the Cowichan Valley?
You betcha!
Er, okay, maybe not skydiving.
But maybe…
Forget rocking chairs and knitting
needles, grandparents these days are more
likely to reach for their hiking boots or a
bike when it comes to spending time with
their grandkids. Sure they’d likely be happy
sitting and knitting, too, but grandparents
now are more active than ever.
Take, for example, Guinness World Record
holder, Jeanne Socrates, the 77-yearold
grandmother who recently completed
a non-stop, solo, unassisted circumnavigation
around the world (profiled on page 8).
According to the Statistics Canada
report, Family Matters, there were 7.5 million
grandparents in Canada in 2017—the
highest number since the data started being
collected. With more of us, being more
involved and active than ever, grandparents
and grandchildren benefit.
Grandparents can act as “stress buffers,
family watchdogs, roots, arbitrators, and
supporters,” according to The Legacy
Project. “Grandparents can be a major
support during family disruptions, such as
divorce, illness or death (see Gone But Not
Forgotten on page 10). They are also historians—teaching
values, instilling ethnic
heritage and passing on family traditions.
They’re very often role models and mentors
for younger generations (see Bridging the
Generation Gap on page 12).”
According to a 2010 Oxford University
study, there is a significant correlation between
a grandparent’s involvement and a
child’s well-being: A grandparent’s interest
in a child’s hobbies was associated with the
grandchild having fewer peer problems;
being involved with their schooling was
associated with fewer behaviour issues;
and grandchildren who discussed future
career plans with their grandparents had
fewer emotional issues.
And the benefits spill over to the grandparents,
too. Studies show that having
grandchildren can help boost your health
in a variety of ways—and keeps you young.
In 2014, Australian researchers found
that spending time with grandchildren
could sharpen cognitive skills. Not only
that, but having grandchildren keeps you
more active, lowers your risk of depression,
keeps you learning, strengthens your
immune system, helps you rediscover a
sense of purpose, and motivates you to
take care of yourself.
And they make us laugh (see Kids Say
the Darndest Things on page 6).
So time together with our grandchildren
is a win-win for all of us.
Just like the time you spend with your
grandchildren, we hope you enjoy every
minute—and every page—of Grand.
IslandParent.ca
Spring 2020 5

Grandkids Say the Darndest Things
Grandma—or “Mimi”—to seven grandchildren, Lorraine Stephens is always ready
with a camera and notepad to record her grandkids’ funniest comments and
observations. Here is a small sampling:
Noah puts on his flip flops and says
“Hey, I sound like mom!”
Three-year-old Micah looks at his mom
and says: “Your hair is wild—did you
have a nap?”
I show Micah his mom’s wedding photo
and say, “Isn’t your mom beautiful!”
He says: “She is there, but not at our
house in the morning!”
5-year-old Micah tells me that if I am
feeling sad to just look at him or to
someone else I love and I will feel better.
When Mae first met her newborn
brother, she looks him over and says
“he got no shoes!”
Hollis and I are on a sidewalk and an
ant crawls along and touches his bare
foot. He puts is hands up and says:
“They are trying to kill me!”
Micah always refers to our house as
“Mimi’s house.” Papa asks why and
Micah very patiently says “Papa, you
don’t have a house—Mimi let’s you live
with her.”
Micah at 7: “I don’t know if I will marry
a boy or a girl, I just know they will be
kind.”
Noah and I are shooting a Nerf gun at
targets and I am not doing very well.
Noah says: “Watch and learn, sister, I’ll
show you how its done!”
While driving Lucia says: “Mimi I saw
a cop. Good thing I’m buckled in, I
wouldn’t want to go to jail…I’m just a
kid.”
We are in a restaurant and I ask Micah
what kind of sundae he would like,
chocolate or? And he says: “My favourite
day is Saturday, not Sunday!”
Three-year-olds Micah and Logan are
arguing. Micah to Logan: “I don’t want
to say yes.” Logan to Noah: “Don’t say
no Micah—only mommy says no!”
Papa is stretching, Micah asks why and
Papa says it makes him limber. Micah
says: “It makes you a limper, why
would you want to be a limper?”
4 1 ⁄2-year-old Hollis says “Mimi I’m hungry,
I don’t want something healthy, I
want a chunk of chocolate.”
5-year-old Noah is listing off everything
he does—goes to school, karate,
etc and ends with: “I am such a busy
man.”
I am talking with 5-year-old Micah
about my dad who passed way. I put
my hand on my heart and tell him it’s
okay, I hold him in my heart. His eyes
widen in horror and says: “You ate
your dad?”
I say to 5-year-old Noah and 3-year-old
Logan that they are the greatest. Logan
stamps his foot angrily and says: “I
am not the greatest, I am Logan!”
4 1 ⁄2-year-old Logan was cold. He says:
“Mimi…I’m a goosebump!”
It’s a beautiful sunny day in Vancouver.
Hollis gets out of the car, puts his hands
on his hips and says “I’m just going to
stand here a minute and look at the
Alps.”
Lorraine Stephens is a mom of three and “Mimi” to seven grandkids who light up
her world with their many antics and words of wisdom. She feels no day is better spent
than wandering the trails and beaches with her crew—it’s entertainment at its best.
6 Grand IslandParent.ca

Who Said
What?
The Kiddies Store
SINCE
1978
Dedicated to providing
Vancouver Island families with
high-quality infant and toddler
products at affordable prices
for over 25 years
Strollers
Safety
Car Seats
Playtime
Furniture
Baby Carriers
Bedding
Bath &
Health
Feeding &
Kitchen
Nursery
Apparel
One way to keep track of the darndest
things our grandkids say is in the
journal, My Quotable Grandkid. Filled
with roomy pages for grandparents to
record the hilarious and unexpectedly
wise things their grandchildren say, this
keepsake features a photo window for
personalizing the journal, and a ribbon
marker. Each page has a place for the
quote, along with places to enter the
grandkid’s name, age, and other details.
3045–C Douglas St.
Victoria, BC
tjskids.com
250-386-2229
Douglas St.
Finlayson St.
Entrance off
Larch St.
Larch St.
T.J.’s
Classes,
Community
& More!
Another way to keep track of memories
and wisdom—yours and your grandkids’—is
with 12 prompted letters that
offer a way for grandparents to give the
gift of a lifetime to their grandchild of
any age. Seal your favourite recollections
with the included stickers and postdate
the letters for future opening. This paper
time capsule becomes an heirloom for
future generations. •
Classes
Ÿ Childbirth Preparation & Refreshers
Ÿ Baby Care & Infant First Aid
Ÿ Siblings - Grandparents
Yoga & Fitness
Ÿ Prenatal & Postnatal
Ÿ Yoga for Toddlers
Groups
Ÿ Baby Groups
Ÿ Pregnancy Happy Hour
Retail Store
Ÿ Nursing bras and tops
Ÿ Breastpump sales & rentals
Ÿ Baby Carriers
Ÿ Baby Clothes, Books and Toys
975 Fort Street, Victoria
motheringtouch.ca - 250-595-4905
IslandParent.ca
Spring 2020 7

Grand
a
adventure
eanne socrates isn’t your typical grandmother.
On September 7, 2019, the 77 year-old retired mathematician
sailed past Ogden Point and into Victoria’s Inner Harbour,
completing a non-stop, solo, unassisted circumnavigation of
the globe. The voyage earned her a second Guinness World
Record. In 2013 she became the first woman to sail solo nonstop
around the world from North America, and the oldest
woman to sail solo nonstop around the world. As of now, she
is the oldest person to sail solo nonstop unassisted, eastabout jaround the world.
8 Grand IslandParent.ca

If the summary of Socrates’ story is impressive, the details
are astounding. A year before her most recent departure,
Socrates fell 15 feet from the deck of her sailboat onto
concrete while she was working in dry dock. She sustained
serious injuries to her neck and ribs, which forced her to
postpone her launch date by a year. The injuries may have delayed
her departure, but they didn’t deter her from her goal.
On October 3, 2018, she sailed out of Victoria.
The voyage was supposed to take seven or eight months,
but the wind gods sent a number of challenges. She’d been
at sea for just over 11 months when she finally returned to
Victoria, and hadn’t set foot on land in all that time. In fact,
she’d only been able to see land for a few days of her journey.
To satisfy the official record requirements, Socrates sailed by
herself, without any assistance or shore-based support team.
Her engine was sealed and inspected upon her return. She
carried all the food she needed for the voyage—no provisioning
along the way—and her fresh water came from a desalinator
which ran off solar and wind-powered batteries.
Socrates did her own weather routing, avoiding storms by
using information she gained via radio and satellite. When
problems arose—and there were many—Socrates had to deal
with them herself, using tools and spare parts that were already
on-board. A fair bit of improvising was required. By
the end of her voyage, she’d seen damage to her mainsail,
backup sail, radar dish and steering system, and her solar
panels had disappeared altogether.
I can’t imagine a more inspiring role model, so I asked
Socrates if she’d be willing to be interviewed for Island
Grandparent. She had already sailed down to Mexico when
I reached her, but graciously agreed to speak with me via
Skype.
Q&a…
you are a grandmother, and i understand that you
keep in touch with your family via satellite phone
while you’re away at sea. What do they think of
your adventures?
I have three grandchildren in England: my grandson is 14
and my two granddaughters are 16 and 18. They came down
to help me name my boat back in 2009. It’s the SV Nereida,
named after the Nereids, the handmaids of Poseidon
(the Greek god of the sea). My son follows my blog and
my grandson is interested in what I’ve been doing, but they
aren’t sailors so I don’t think they really understand what
I’ve been getting up to.
you must be aware that you’re a role model, both
as a woman and as a 77-year-old. What role does
that play in your decision to take on such big goals?
It doesn’t affect my intentions, but it’s certainly very nice. It
makes me feel that I’ve achieved something, that I haven’t
been completely selfish. I love hearing that I’ve encouraged
other people to try to do something.
Were you born brave, or have you become more
courageous over time?
I don’t feel I’ve been particularly courageous. It’s about experience:
the more you do, the more you find you can do.
My first solo overnight sail was from Colón in Panama north
to Providencia. The conditions were bad and the weather
forecaster was telling me to abort and go back, but I was already
committed. It was an exhilarating experience to arrive
in one piece. My confidence was really boosted by that. Now
I’ve come to know what to expect. I have total confidence
in my boat; it’s pretty difficult in the middle of the ocean for
the boat to sink under you. When conditions are deteriorating,
I stay calm and keep safe by doing what I have to do.
you’ve survived a number of serious setbacks and
losses along the way: the death of your husband
George from cancer in 2003, the loss of your first
boat in 2008, and a nasty fall in 2017. Where does
your resilience come from?
My father died when I was five weeks old, and my mother
struggled to bring me up. I was in an orphanage from age
five to nine as a result. I learned pretty early on that if I
wanted to achieve anything I had to make it happen myself.
And I think there’s some determination in my genes. My
mom’s sister lived in New Zealand and was a very go-for-it
person. And when my mom joined a seniors’ group in her
latter years, she would march right at the front, leading.
Do you feel changed by each adventure?
I certainly changed initially, as I got more confident. Each
little step is actually a big step. You find that you’re coping,
and so you keep taking bigger steps. Now an ocean crossing
is almost nothing. It was a big thing initially, but I don’t really
think much about it now.
What’s next?
I’ve got a literary agent in London waiting for the first pages
of my book. And the Cruising Association of England is flying
me back for their 2020 Flag Officers’ Lunch, so I’ll be
able to visit my kids and grandkids. But my next big trip is
touring Australia for four months in a motorhome.
Where is home now?
Theoretically it’s in Britain, but I’ve been in B.C. so much
and I’ve got so many friends and so much support here that
I call B.C. my home-from-home. I’m happy to be adopted as
a Victorian!
Rachel Dunstan Muller is the mother of five, and a children’s author.
Her previous articles can be found at islandparent.ca.
IslandParent.ca
Spring 2020 9

Gone
But Not Forgotten
Grandpa is dead.
Our beloved husband, father, and grandfather was stolen
from us by a sudden and unexpected illness. A twinge in April.
A funeral in August.
Half a year later, we are still struggling to accept the reality of
a world without “Grandpa G.”
This man who delighted in his grandchildren: cuddling the
babies, playing “horsey”and “Big Bear” with the toddlers, taking
the big kids to cool places like the dump and the driving range,
and letting them ride “shotgun” in his classic Corvette. Gone.
How can that be?
Three years ago my husband and I moved to Courtenay to
be closer to our large family—six kids, four spouses, eight
grandkids—who all reside on Vancouver Island and in the
Lower Mainland. Our eldest daughter’s family lives in nearby
Union Bay. When Bill became ill the rest of the family all came
to stay, squeezing into our two houses, sharing meals, stories,
tears, and laughter. Although we had to cancel our annual
summer gathering at a Rathtrevor Beach family camp, those
three weeks together brought us closer than any vacation
could ever do.
The grandkids, who range in age from 2 1 ⁄2 to 13, witnessed
their parents dealing with the caretaking, the grieving, the finality
of death. They visited their grandfather in the hospital, and
later, in hospice. They drew pictures to decorate his room. Our
eight-year old granddaughter Maysa, who has cystic fibrosis
and is all too familiar with hospitals, made a card that read
“Dear sick Grandpa, I love you more than ever now, and I wish
you couldn’t die. I hope you are feeling OK, I know how you
feel in the hospital.”
The day came when, one by one, the children were brought
in to say goodbye to Grandpa G.
In accordance with his wish to be buried in a simple pine box,
two of the uncles built a plain, yet elegant, pine casket. An hour
before the funeral, six-year-old Julia asked if we could tie a red
ribbon around it “so Grandpa will be wrapped in love.” (This
sent her mother on a frantic last-minute search for several yards
of three-inch wide red ribbon; a local florist came to the rescue.)
10 Grand IslandParent.ca

The family graveside service took place on a hot, sunny August
day. Bill’s best friend, a retired pastor, led a short service.
Family members read psalms, played guitar, and sang songs.
Two-year-old Charlotte joined in lustily, undeterred by the fact
that she didn’t know any of the words.
Afterwards, the children chased one another around the huge
grassy field, while Charlotte played a game of her own invention:
running from one grave marker to the next, then yelling
“I win!”
The grandchildren were told that Grandpa was in heaven—
presumably playing golf with God and hanging out with all the
dogs, cats, guinea pigs, and gerbils we had ever owned—and
that someday they would see him again. One of the mothers
read them a story book about a magic thread that connects us
to those we love, wherever they may be.
I wondered just how much Charlotte understood of all this,
and whether she would even remember her grandfather. I need
not have worried.
Two months later we gathered at my house for our traditional
Thanksgiving dinner. It was a gloomy affair without “the
Patriarch” presiding at the head of the table. The eldest son
said grace, referring to our dear, departed Dad. In the poignant
silence that followed, Charlotte pointed to the ceiling and hollered,
“HEY GWAMPA! GET DOWN HERE! WE EATING!”
She could not understand why everyone burst out laughing.
After all, people are supposed to come to the table when dinner
is ready!
The other day I looked after Charlotte and her brother Max
while their mother took their older brother Oscar skiing at
Mount Washington. Charlotte turned three in December, of
which she is inordinately proud. We were eating cereal together
when she spotted a framed photo of Grandpa on the wall.
“My daddy really misses Gwampa,” she remarked.
“I miss him too,” I said, “but I know I will see him again
someday.”
“Can Gwampa see US?” she asked, looking up at the ceiling.”
“What do YOU think?” (My standard response to difficult
grandkid questions.)
She thought he could.
Then came the question I dreaded.
“Why did Gwampa die?”
I took a deep breath (and a good-sized slug of coffee) and
plunged in.
“Charlotte, how old were you before your birthday?” She
held up her index and second finger.
“And how old are you now?” The ring finger refused to join
the other two. She surmounted this difficulty by raising her
thumb instead.
“And how old will you be when you have your next birthday?”
“Four!” Up went all the fingers.
“Are you sure? Maybe you’ll be two again.”
“No, silly Gwamma. I be four.”
“You’re right! People grow up, not down. That’s the way
things are. And soon you’ll be going to school, and one day
you’ll be a teenager, and before you know it you’ll be a grownup,
and maybe you’ll get married and have babies.”
Her eyes grew wide. “LOTS of babies!” she crowed.
“And your babies will turn into kids, and go to school, and
grow up and get married and have their own kids, and when
they do…” I paused for dramatic effect. Her eyes grew wider.
“You’ll be a grandma!”
“Like YOU!”
“Exactly! And someday, when you’re a very old lady with
white hair like Grandpa’s, God will say “Well, Charlotte,
you’ve had a good, long life down there, but now I need you up
here.”
“AND THEN… I SEE GWAMPA!” She tilted her head back,
aimed a big smile at the ceiling, and waved.
“SEE YOU LATER, GWAMPA!”
Yup. She gets it.
Jacqui Graham has six grown kids and eight delightful grandkids age
6 months to 11 years. If she had known how much fun grandkids would be,
she would have had them first!
IslandParent.ca
Spring 2020 11

Bridging the
Generation Gap
boomer.”
I suppose that I shouldn’t
“OK,
have been surprised when I
overheard my 10-year-old granddaughter
and her friends use the phrase recently
as they discussed a rule that an elderly
teacher (actually, one not quite my age)
had imposed at school.
After all, the refrain had spread like
wildfire in our ever-connected world and,
given that my granddaughter and her
friends are no strangers to social media
and are surrounded by older pre-teens
and teenagers, it was bound to happen.
The funny thing is that boomers once
espoused the same sort of views.
We were convinced that our elders
could never understand our positions on
civil rights, wars (the Vietnam War at
the time), women’s and gay rights and,
in general, a counter-culture approach to
addressing those challenges.
As teens (myself included), the boomer
generation pushed social conventions
about dress, sex, drug use, music, and
general decorum to make our point.
We questioned materialism and conspicuous
consumption, never realizing that
Pick up your
copy of the
Family
Resource
Guide 2020
Still, even though I’m relatively
certain that they don’t have any deep
understanding of the collective eyeroll
that the phrase represents,
I’m pretty sure that
they have an instinctive
understanding that it’s a
way of delivering a verbal
eye-jab to an older generation.
And as much as I struggle
to contain my innate tendency
to step up to lecture
anyone using the phrase about
their need to respect their elders
and realize that they would be better
served by listening to some of the
experiences of the boomers they dismiss,
I realize that initial reaction to be a mistake.
I have, instead, been thinking, with a
weird sort of fascination, about the fact
that our society keeps getting the same
things wrong.
Today’s youth, at least some of them,
are convinced that the tastes, values and
lived experiences of baby boomers have
little value to their world and that the
ills of society—everything from climate
change to racial injustice to the unfair
distribution of wealth—are the fault of
boomers.
it was the postwar economic boom that
allowed us the freedom to do just that.
But in doing all of this, we made the
same mistake that today’s teens are now
repeating.
Climate change, economic disparity,
social and political problems are not the
fault of an entire generation. There are
lots of boomers (again, myself included)
who are just as upset about climate
change, for example, as Greta Thunberg
and are just as passionate about trying
to address that existential challenge to
mankind.
12 Grand IslandParent.ca

The real divide that separates society
is the same one that separated young
boomers from the establishment that they
challenged.
“The man” of the 1960s wasn’t really
everyone over 30. That was never the
divide.
What we were fighting, and today’s
teens should be standing up against, had
more to do with power than age.
As teens (myself
included), the boomer
generation pushed
social conventions
about dress, sex,
drug use, music, and
general decorum
to make our point.
In fact, by highlighting age we made
the same mistake that teens are making
today.
Make the mistake of pitting one generation
against another and the discussion
about power will get lost on a narrative
about a generational gap.
A better approach for teens, and one
that’s a lot tougher to understand and act
upon, is to realize that the very boomers
they dismiss can be their greatest allies.
At the end of 2019, Greta Thunberg,
did just that when she spent time talking
to, and listening to, David Attenborough,
the 93-year-old icon of journalism and
environmentalism.
She realized that it wasn’t an older generation
with whom she had a problem,
but those in power who were sending us
into an unimaginable future if climate
change is not addressed.
She realized that pegging a problem to
a generation alone is misguided and only
serves this in power who are contributing
to whatever problem we want to address.
As boomers, we made that mistake.
Ironically, it was Peter Townsend’s ’60s
anthem that might still offer the best advise
to today’s teens.
He sang “Don’t get fooled again, no,
no.”
Just a little advice from a boomer.
Tim Collins is a writer and freelance journalist
living and working in Victoria.
SUMMER
CAMPS
PLAY YOUR WAY TO:
SKILL FUN, TEAM WORK &
CONFIDENCE RESPECT INCLUSIVITY
DEVELOPMENT COOPERATION
pise.ca/summer-camps
Spring programs also available!
Visit pise.ca/kids-programs for more information.
IslandParent.ca
Spring 2020 13

Learning Through Play
Family members are the first teachers
children encounter. While you
are spending precious time with
your grandchildren, you can incorporate
simple methods to help them become
familiar with words and numbers. These
skills will set them up for success in
school and beyond.
Below, librarians from the Greater
Victoria Public Library share ways you
can help young children practice using
words and numbers. These tried and true
methods—popular at the GVPL’s storytimes
and other free programming at the
library—set the foundation for language,
thinking and communication.
Storytelling
Encourage your grandchild to create
stories with action figures, dolls and
puppets. Grandparents can engage in the
storytelling using the CAR method: Comment,
Ask, Rephrase. Comment on what
the child is doing; ask a question about
the action; and rephrase what the child
said and add something more. “I see you
have a toy giraffe and a bird; what is the
giraffe doing with the bird?” “What are
they going to do next?” “They’re going
to the playground? Are they going to use
the swings or the slide first?”
teach your grandchild to prepare food.
Make something from a recipe passed
down through the generations or borrow
a cookbook from the library.
I Spy
This classic game helps little ones notice
colours, textures and details in the
world around them. When it’s their turn
to say “I spy with my little eye,” don’t
be afraid to ask for hints to keep your
grandchild engaged and talking. Taking
turns creates a conversation and gets kids
chatting, listening, observing and having
fun with you, and all the while, they’re
building communication skills.
Alphabet Game
Take a walk around the block, in the
mall or through the library, and, letter
by letter, go through the alphabet finding
things that start with each letter. Some
letters are trickier than others; if you
can’t think of a word, look for the letter
on a sign or license plate. Not only does
this activity build literacy skills, it makes
kids more aware of their surroundings.
Kitchen Time
Cooking and baking provide myriad
opportunities for developing literacy. Following
a recipe teaches food and kitchen
vocabulary and helps kids practice math
concepts while measuring and learning
about quantities. They’ll also build fine
motor skills by handling utensils and
ingredients. Plus, time in the kitchen is
time spent building memories and learning
about family and nutrition as you
Counting
Count the boats on the water; the
driftwood at the beach; the swings at
the park; the roses in grandma’s garden.
Compare the quantities and use them to
bridge into a new topic of conversation.
“Why do you think there is only one
slide but there are four swings?” “Why
did Grandma plant 12 tulips and only
one rose bush?”
14 Grand IslandParent.ca

Family Stories
Pull out photo albums and tell stories
of the people in it. Young children are especially
interested in stories of themselves
as well as stories about how they are like
or unlike their parents, siblings and other
close relatives. Children love learning about
where they come from and where they fit
in the family tree. Ask open-ended questions:
“Why do you think X happened?”
“What do you think happened next?”
Sing Songs You Love
“This was your dad’s favourite song
when he was a baby.” “I remember my
mother singing this lullaby to me.” Sharing
songs that are meaningful to you
will get you singing together and enjoying
each other’s company. Plus, singing
builds vocabulary and teaches the rhythm
of language, which will help your grandchild
read and write.
Write Letters
Become pen pals with your grandchild.
Not only will their parents model reading
when your letter arrives in the mail, but
the kids will also get a chance to interact
with words in your handwriting, and
then write back, choosing which words
and thoughts to communicate. They can
practice writing their name at the end of
the letter and draw a picture.
Active Reading
There is nothing like cuddling up and
enjoying a book. To help your grandchild
engage with the book’s content, take your
time with reading, and teach through observations:
point out features like rhyming
words and alliteration; ask your grandchild
to identify letters and look for that letter on
every page; point out elements of the pictures
and talk about them; identify expressions
on faces; or imagine what a situation
might feel like. Visit a library near you to
find new books to love together.
A library card is your passport to learn
through play with books, movies, games,
music and more. You are welcome to join
us with your grandchildren for free yearround
programming at a branch near
you. Visit gvpl.ca today or find a library
branch near you at change-your-mind.ca.
For Greater Victoria Public Library’s complete
list of 100 exceptional picture books for
babies, toddlers and preschoolers, visit
gvpl.ca/100books.
Culture &
Recreation Passes
In partnership with local organizations, GVPL offers cardholders the
opportunity to enrich mind and body with hands-on experiences at
the cultural institutions and recreational centres.
• Art Gallery of Greater Victoria
• Craigdarroch Castle
• Maritime Museum of British Columbia
• Royal BC Museum
• Bateman Foundation Gallery of Nature
• Saanich Recreation
• Victoria Butterfly Gardens
Passes for Craigdarroch Castle and Victoria Butterfly Gardens are offered
through an e-pass. Learn how you can use an e-pass, and reduce your
wait time to visit these two attractions.
All of the passes are very popular, so be ready to wait. For information,
visit gvpl.ca.
SOCCER CAMP
IslandParent.ca
Spring 2020 15

Simple Pleasures
I
recently baked a birthday cake with my four-year-old grandson,
and after we had iced it, I offered one of the beaters to
him. Because he has always been on a sugar-restricted diet,
he gave me a quizzical look as if to say, “Really?” I had cleared
it with his mother of course, so when I told him that, he readily
accepted my offer and trotted off with his treat as if he couldn’t
quite believe his good fortune.
He sat with that beater for the better part of 15 minutes, his
little tongue manoeuvring in exquisite concentration. When he
returned it, it was spotlessly clean and he beamed at me with
an icing-rimmed mouth. He did not ask for the other beater; he
was satisfied just to have experienced one. The contented expression
on his face as he scooted off made me think that every
little kid should enjoy licking a beater at least once in their
childhood! I have no doubt he will remember the experience for
a long time.
As I have aged, I realize it is the simple pleasures in one’s
childhood that come to mind the easiest and still hold meaning
even after many decades and life experiences have passed by. In
my own childhood, I vividly recall diving and huddling under
my bed covers listening with a mixture of both trepidation and
awe at the frequent thunderstorms that seemed to shake the
entire house. I can still feel the goosebumps that rippled my
young flesh just thinking of the power the heavens released during
those storms.
I can also easily recall riding my bike for the very first time
without training wheels, my dad jogging alongside just in case I
toppled over. It felt like a moment of profound accomplishment
16 Grand IslandParent.ca

to a seven-year-old child, and I can still
savour the sense of pride and accomplishment
I felt that day.
And how could I ever forget our annual
family road trips? Our trusty station
wagon was packed to the brim with
books, games, blankets, and pillows
with which my siblings and I spent hours
amusing ourselves.
Perhaps my fondest memory is that of
cuddling with my mother; I can still recall
the sense of warmth and security I sought
from her and the feeling of belonging her
closeness instilled in me. I would often
interlock our pinky fingers—I remember
that distinctly.
With my own children, I’m sure they
can easily recall our own family camping
trips where they learned the art of
toasting a marshmallow over a campfire
without torching it, or how to fashion a
walking stick. Equally memorable, I’m
sure, were all the camping weekends
when we played board games hunkered
around a picnic table in inclement
weather!
No doubt, my sons can easily call to
mind all the afternoons we spent feeding
ducks at Beacon Hill Park—and how to
do so without getting mobbed, no less.
Perhaps one of their most enduring
memories is picking berries in the long,
lazy days of summer vacation. As I’m
sure they can attest—I took berry picking
season very seriously as I stocked our
freezer for the winter months with what
we picked. Equipped with an ice cream
bucket that they were supposed to fill, my
sons spent their time instead eating their
fill of berries, playing tag or hide and
seek amid the rows of bushes, or pelting
each other with the berries they found on
the ground (as boys are wont to do). In
short, they were no help at all, but they
loved those outings in the countryside as
much as I did and they eagerly agreed to
“help” me every year.
The universality of favourite childhood
memories is not surprising. Who could
forget tossing coins in a fountain and
then pestering a parent to empty their
pockets for more change? Or splashing
in puddles—with or without boots on?!
Or jumping on the bed despite parental
admonishment not to? It’s hard not to
think of these memories without the tug
of a smile. They are so simple and yet so
memorable.
It is the time we invest in these simple
pleasures that make them so precious;
time with our children, grandchildren
and loved ones. A good friend of mine
who ran an in-home daycare for many
years, told me once about a little boy
who upon learning that his grandmother
was going to pick him instead of his father,
asked: “My grandma who buys me
things or my grandma who plays with
me?” When my friend told him which
grandmother was coming, he was happy
it was the grandmother who played with
him.
So when I think of all the things I’d
love my grandson to see and do, I try to
keep in mind that it is often the simplest
of pleasures that will truly hold the most
meaning for him in the years to come. I
have no doubt he will fondly reminisce
about his sleepover weekends with
Nonna (complete with pancake making),
afternoons spent at the beach digging for
buried treasure, and visits to the library
for that next favourite book.
Susan Gnucci is a local author and a proud
“nonna” to an adorable five-year-old grandson.
She enjoys sharing her experiences as a firsttime
grandparent.
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IslandParent.ca
Spring 2020 17

Sing with us!
Prelude Choir
Non-auditioned, fun and engaging.
Registration opens April 1
Ages
7 – 9
Ages
10 – 12
Recital Choir
Sing great music and build wonderful friendships.
Auditions May 2 & 9
art with
Nature
at Heart
Concert Choir
Share your singing passion in rehearsals, camps,
performances & tours. Build lifelong friendships.
Auditions May 2 & 9
CONCERT
Glorious World of
Song: Best of the VCC
Monday, June , 2020 • 7 pm
Alix Goolden Performance Hall
Ages
11 – 17
Join us as we celebrate the best of the VCC
from the past 19 seasons under the
leadership of Madeleine Humer.
Registration opens April 1:
250-721-0856
VictoriaChildrensChoir.ca
When you think of art, you likely
think of paintings in an expensive
gallery or sculptures that
have taken hours to make, but art can be
accessible for everyone when it’s made
outdoors. Art can be about connecting
to your surroundings in a new way and
slowing down to notice things you might
have otherwise overlooked. A fun, easy,
cost-effective and environmentally-friendly
way to incorporate art in you and
your family’s life is to make art in nature,
using materials you find outside. Not
only will you be able to express your creativity,
but you will also get outside and
connect with your natural environment,
which has been shown to have numerous
physical and mental benefits. Making art
in nature also allows you to see familiar
places with a new lens. Here are some
activities that focus on shape, colour and
texture to get you started.
Shape: Nature Mosaic
Explore shape by using natural items
around you to create a mosaic on the
ground. Create images of animals, places,
a favourite cartoon character, or even
a self-portrait. Breaking the items into
pieces allows you to isolate what shapes
go into making an image. If you want to
create something more abstract, arrange
objects in a geometric pattern while
experimenting with repetition of similar
shapes and objects of different sizes. Use
your imagination and the opportunities
are endless!
Colour: Value Bar, Colour
Wheel & Colour Hunt
Make a value bar, a gradient of the
same colour from light to dark, by arranging
natural items in a line. If there
are a lot of different colours around,
make a colour wheel by arranging objects
of every colour of the rainbow in
a circle and transitioning gradually between
shades. If there aren’t many items
on the ground that you can pick up, try
doing a colour hunt. Bring some small
pieces of coloured paper (paint colour
samples from a hardware store work
18 Grand IslandParent.ca

Photo: Emma Jane Vignola.
well, or you can make your own with coloured markers or
construction paper) and try to find items in nature that match
the shade on each piece. Repeat these exercises at different
times of the year to experience the seasonal changes in colour.
Texture: Crayon Rubbing
Document the variety of textures in nature by making a
rubbing. All you need are some pieces of printer paper cut
into whatever sizes or shapes you would like and a few wax
crayons (with the paper removed). Simply place your paper
over the item and lay the crayon flat over the paper. With
firm pressure, rub the crayon over the paper and watch the
textures emerge onto the page as you go. Good items to make
rubbings with include dead leaves, tree bark, western red cedar
branches, fern fronds, or anything relatively flat. Nature
rubbings make great cards or decorations for recycled giftwrap.
With these activities in your arsenal you’re sure to experience
nature in a new way, express your creativity, and connect
with your family at the same time! Please remember that you
can help ensure our natural spaces stay healthy when making
art in nature. Please stay on designated trails to protect habitat.
When looking for materials to use in your nature art, use
loose items you find on the ground and avoid picking living
plants. Instead of removing items from nature, you can take a
picture of your creations to take home. The best approach is
to take only memories and leave only footprints.
Looking for nature programs the whole family will enjoy?
Join CRD Regional Parks naturalists for free guided walks
and drop-in events for all ages. For more information, visit
crd.bc.ca/about/events.
KALABANTE:
AFRIQUE EN CIRQUE
A stunning evening of extraordinary Guinean
drumming and acrobats, suitable for all ages.
“Amazing and breathtaking.” “A real crowd pleaser!”
kalabanteproductions.com
tickets.uvic.ca | 250-721-8480
SATURDAY
APR 11
7:30 PM
Emma Jane Vignola is a CRD Regional Parks naturalist.
Shopping for
Winter Fun!
Toys, games and puzzles for all ages
koolandchild.com
#102 – 2517 Bowen Rd, Nanaimo 888.390.1775
IslandParent.ca
Spring 2020 19

Healthy Families, Happy Families
Child, Youth
& Family
Public Health
South Island Health Units
Esquimalt 250-519-5311
Gulf Islands 250-539-3099
(toll-free number for office in Saanichton)
Peninsula 250-544-2400
Saanich 250-519-5100
Saltspring Island 250-538-4880
Sooke 250-519-3487
Victoria 250-388-2200
West Shore 250-519-3490
Central Island Health Units
Duncan 250-709-3050
Ladysmith 250-755-3342
Lake Cowichan 250-749-6878
Nanaimo 250-755-3342
Nanaimo 250-739-5845
Princess Royal
Parksville/Qualicum 250-947-8242
Port Alberni 250-731-1315
Tofino 250-725-4020
North Island Health Units
Campbell River 250-850-2110
Courtenay 250-331-8520
Kyuquot Health Ctr 250-332-5289
‘Namgis Health Ctr 250-974-5522
Port Hardy 250-902-6071
islandhealth.ca/our-locations/
health-unit-locations
Make the Most
of Mealtimes
If you have ever watched babies eating
their first foods, it’s clear that eating
is about more than just nutrition. It is
about smelling, feeling, tasting and experiencing
the food for all its sensory glory.
Babies explore the food unhurriedly,
eating what they want and leaving what
they don’t.
Offering first foods is a developmental
milestone that parents and grandparents
anticipate with excitement. If we could
just retain the joy of those early meals
through our lifetime! Too often, as children
get older, meals become an inconvenient
need that takes a back seat to other
priorities in a busy and hurried life.
strong connection with family. Grandparents,
who may have more time than
harried parents to spend preparing and
eating meals with their grandchildren,
can play an important role in maximizing
mealtime opportunities.
Grandparents can help to keep culture
and food traditions alive by sharing them
across generations. Talk about your own
experiences with food and memories
from your own childhood. Have your
grandchildren help you prepare a traditional
dish or family favourite meal. Talk
about where foods come from and where
you can get them. Invite other family
members or friends, set the table and
Changes with BC Medical Services Plan
premiums mean that families eligible for partial
payment of some medical services and access
to some income-based programs now must
apply for Supplementary Benefits through the
Government of BC. Applications can be done
online and take approximately 15 minutes.
Families who previously qualified for MSP
Premium Assistance should not need to re-apply
if taxes are completed yearly. It is advised to
confirm coverage before proceeding with
treatment to avoid paying out of pocket.
For more information, visit gov.bc.ca/gov/
content/health/health-drug-coverage/msp/
bc-residents/benefits/services-covered-bymsp/supplementary-benefits
The Canada Food Guide expands the
definition of healthy eating to include
the where, when, why and how to eat.
It urges us to take time to eat, notice
when we’re hungry and when we’re full,
to enjoy our food and to eat meals with
others. Mealtimes should be about more
than just staving off hunger.
Making the most of mealtimes can
have a life-long impact on a child’s wellbeing.
Mealtimes offer children a chance
to develop a healthy relationship with
food, be heathy eaters, learn social skills,
improve language skills, and build a
sit together. Not only does this expose
children to new foods, it helps them learn
about family history and fosters a sense
of belonging.
Meals can be a chance to learn literacy
and social skills. Studies have shown that
children who eat together with their family
have improved language skills in the
preschool years and improved school performance
in the school age and teenage
years. Family meals can include a grandparent
eating with their grandchildren.
Use mealtimes as a time to communicate.
That means turning off the TV, put-
20 Grand IslandParent.ca

ting away the phone and talking to each
other. Grandparents can use the time to
tell stories about their own childhood or
ask questions that can get the grandchildren
talking about their own experiences.
Use fun, open-ended questions and keep
the conversation lively and positive.
Start questions with “Tell me about…”,
“What would you do if…”, “Why do
you think…”
If you are stuck for things to talk
about, there are tools available online to
help stimulate conversation. Check out
the “Let’s Talk….Mealtime Conversation
Cards for Toddlers and Preschoolers”
available at BetterTogetherBC.ca. There
are conversation starters for older children
online as well. You can help bring
back the art of conversation before it is
lost to the world of technology.
Mealtimes offer an opportunity to help
your grandchildren develop and maintain
a healthy relationship with food, a
job that’s easier than it might sound. All
you have to do is offer meals and snacks
at regular times and offer a variety of
foods, including foods they’ve never tried
before. That’s it! Resist the urge to coax,
bribe or force them to eat or try new
foods. Some children will need to be offered
a new food 10 to 15 times before
they will try it. The best thing you can do
is eat it yourself.
Children learn to eat and try new foods
by watching the adults in their lives. They
should have the freedom to choose what
they eat and how much. Children are
very good at self-regulating how much
food they eat. The less we interfere, the
better. And don’t rush. Make meal times
a pleasant and positive experience.
Eating together with family helps children
develop social skills and can lower
the risk of adolescent mental health problems
and addictions. Research shows that
children who eat at least one meal a day
with an adult are less likely to smoke or
use drugs or alcohol. They are less likely
to be bullied, and have lower risk of depression
and suicide in the teen years.
Family meals help children feel more
secure and stable, with a greater sense of
belonging. A strong bond with grandparents
can widen the circle of support and
increase a feeling of family connectedness.
Enjoy the company and conversation,
as well as the food.
Grandkids visiting?
Make their stay easy by renting gear from
B a b y E q u i p m e n t R e n t a l s
Vancouver | Toronto | Victoria
weetravel.ca 1.800.933.0810
Ballet Victoria……………………………………… IFC
Challenger Sports………………………………… 15
Cinecenta……………………………………………… 21
The Farquhar at UVic…………………………… 19
Island Circus Space……………………………… 12
Island Health………………………………………… 20
Kool & Child…………………………………………… 19
Momease…………………………………………… IFC
AdvertisersDirectory
Mothering Touch……………………………………… 7
Pacific Christian School………………………OBC
PISE………………………………………………………… 13
Shannon Oaks……………………………………… 17
Swan Lake Nature Centre……………………… 3
TJ’s The Kiddies Store……………………………… 7
Victoria Children’s Choir……………………… 18
Victoria Symphony…………………………………… 5
Wee Travel…………………………………………… 21
Jane Barclay is a Registered Dietitian and
Public Health Nutritionist with Island Health.
IslandParent.ca
Spring 2020 21

age is Just a Number
One of the funniest recollections from my teaching days
goes back to something a little Grade 1 boy named Christopher
said to me. He was the type of student that teachers
adored, studious, well-mannered, biddable. This child bent to
every task asked of him with a single-minded purpose, his little
tongue wedged squarely between his teeth in avid concentration.
So you can imagine my surprise when he came to school one
day with I could only describe as “ants in his pants.” He couldn’t
sit still long enough to focus on anything. By the end of the day
when he couldn’t even stay in the line-up for dismissal, I finally
took him aside and asked him what was up.
He beamed at me and answered in a flurry of excitement, the
words tumbling from his mouth in one long-winded explanation:
“Today is my dad’s birthday and he has the day off work and
he’s picking me up and we’re going out for supper and there will
be cake and I have a present for him!”
I had to suppress the tug of a smile as I nodded. “I see. I see.
Well, that answers things then.” The bell rang and as Christopher
exited the class, he paused and said, “I don’t know how old
my dad is, but I know he’s less than a hundred.”
When I saw his father in the hallway, I wished him a happy
birthday. “And I hear from Christopher that you’re less than a
hundred!”
When I asked my little grandson recently how old he thought
I was, he pursed his lips in contemplation. I gave him a hint by
admitting that I was a lot older than he was. A logical child, he
replied with the largest number he could count to: 20.
The look on his face as I counted past that to my actual age
was priceless. It was a mixture of wariness—was Nonna pulling
his leg?—mixed with fascinated disbelief, as I’m sure he had no
idea numbers went that high.
When I was a young adult, I never feared aging; back then it
felt like I had all the time in the world. That was before children.
After I had my sons, I didn’t have time to worry, let alone think
about aging! Those early years were a blur of diapers, teething,
and sleepless nights. Typical of most new parents, I slogged my
way through, oblivious to the passage of time other than to survive
from one day to the next.
Once over those initial hurdles, the school years were no less
hectic with playdates and a myriad of school functions; my
time was taken up with bake sales, costume making, homework
checking, lunch packing, and innumerable soccer and softball
practices. The years simply flew by, and before I knew it, I was
turning 40. Even then, I wasn’t phased; after all, 40 was the new
30, right?
Over the years, I’ve come to understand that age is really a
relative term—I try to keep in mind that I am older than some
and not as old as others. And besides, age is just a number anyway.
I may not be as nimble as I once was and I forget the occasional
thing now and then, but I still play cars and trucks on my
hands and knees with my grandson, run through the sprinkler
with him on a hot summer’s day, and toboggan with him on the
rare snow days in Victoria—over jumps no less!
When I look in the mirror, the face that stares back at me has
succumbed to the inevitable ravages of time. I note with dismay
the greying hair, the deeply lined furrows, the slackening of muscle
tone, and yet despite all of that, I still feel like the same young
girl inside. The eyes that look out at me have the same mischief
lurking in their depths in spite of the sorrows and burdens they
have witnessed.
Now that I’ve reached middle age—and then some—I can truly
understand and appreciate the old saying that grandchildren
keep you young. Their blessing is that they free the young person
inside each of us. They remind us of the simple joy of just living,
of not dwelling on what has been or worrying about tomorrow,
but of living fully and completely in the moment. When I am
with my little grandson, I feel quite simply—ageless.
Susan Gnucci is a local author and a proud “nonna” to an adorable
five-year-old grandson. She enjoys sharing her experiences as a first-time
grandparent.
22 Grand IslandParent.ca

has been to
the spa and is
back refreshed!
islandparent.ca
IslandParent.ca
Spring 2020 23