THE FIGHT CALIFORNIA'S LGBTQ MONTHLY MAGAZINE APRIL 2020

APRIL 2020 | THE FIGHT 1

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2 THE FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com

APRIL 2020 | THE FIGHT 3

THECONTENTS
ON THE COVER
& ON THIS PAGE
TOM GOSS
COVER PHOTO, CONTENTS PHOTO
& FEATURE PHOTO
BY DUSTI CUNNINGHAM
FEATURES
11 RENT RELIEF
MORATORIUM ON EVICTIONS
12 COPING WITH COVID
LOCALS RESPOND TO THE PANDEMIC
16 FEELING PRODUCTIVE
AN INTERVIEW WITH TOM GOSS
18 CALL ME BY YOUR NAME (AGAIN)
A SEQUEL IS IN THE WORKS
22 MENTAL HEALTH SURVIVAL GUIDE
JAMES GUAY’S COPING TIPS
24 JOB OFFERS
WHO’S HIRING RIGHT NOW
29 VIRTUAL PRIDE
NEW LIVE-STREAM EVENT
DEPARTMENTS
08 THE TALK
10 THE CITY
14 THE ROSTOW REPORT
22 THE SHARE
26 THE ART
30 THE FINAL FIGHT
4 THE FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com
4 THE FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com

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APRIL 2020 | THE FIGHT 5

THEEDITOR
“COVID-19 has transformed our
world. Not only has it led to spiked
infections, it’s also instilled mass hysteria,
global grief, worldwide trauma
and a huge stop to our everyday
normal routines,” writes THE FIGHT
contributor James Guay, LMFT
(“Mental Health Survival Guide,”
pages 20-21).
One of Guay’s tips for coping with
a worldwide pandemic is to “spread
compassion.”
“We are all in this together, even if
we have differences in how it affects
us given our specific circumstances
and vulnerabilities.” writes Guay.
“… Some of us are on the front
lines providing essential services.
Others are in self-quarantine to prevent
spreading this infection. There
are still some of us who are denying
the gravity of all this or not caring
about the impact of our exposure to
others in our communities. It brings
out the best and the worst in us.
This moment can magnify our
soft spots and increase our anxiety,
depression, loneliness, suicidal
>> IN THIS ISSUE

The Fight ad.indd 1
2/18/2020 4:20:52 PM
APRIL 2020 | THE FIGHT 7

THETALK
TERRANCE
MCNALLY
FEEL
INVISIBLE
“He somehow makes
people who feel
invisible in the world
feel like they have a
place in our canon.”
—Kerri Washington, in an interview
with The New York Times
in 2019, profiling playwright
Terrance McNally, who died of
complications from the coronavirus
last month.
NATHAN
LANE
THEIR
LIVES
“I love it when I
know something
I wrote softened
the parents who
had banished their
son and daughter
from their lives
when they came
out to them as
gay and lesbian.”
—Playwright Terrance
McNally (Love! Valour!
Compassion!, The Spider
Woman) in a speech
accepting the lifetime
achievement award at the
2019 Tony Awards. McNally
died of complications from
the coronavirus last month.
He was 81. RIP.
KERRI
WASHINGTON
OUR
GREATEST
“I just think he
is one of our
greatest American
writers.”
—Nathan Lane, in an interview
with The New York
Times in 2019, profiling playwright
Terrance McNally,
who died of complications
from the coronavirus last month.
>> WHAT THEY’RE SAYING

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APRIL 2020 | THE FIGHT 9

THECITY
>> BY PAULO MURILLO

MORATORIUM ON EVICTIONS

SOCIAL DISTANCING

LGBTQ COMMUNITY

THEROSTOWREPORT
>> BY ANN ROSTOW

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>> WHAT HAPPENED? • MUTING THE SOUND •IN GOD THEY TRUST • SPUD STATE • AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH

FEATURE INTERVIEW

APRIL 2020 | THE FIGHT 17

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APRIL 2020 | THE FIGHT 19

“IT’S A RESET TO
COME BACK TO
OUR COMMON
HUMANITY AND
ADDRESS DESTRUC-
TIVE OTHERING OF
EACH OTHER. IT’S A
TIME TO WAKE UP
TO OUR INHERENT
GOODNESS, WORTH
AND VALUE.”
20 THE FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com

An abridged version of THE FIGHT contributor
James Guay’s online feature on dealing with the pandemic.
For the full version visit: www.livingmorefully.com
BY JAMES GUAY, LMFT
has transformed our world. Not only has
COVID-19 it led to spiked infections, it’s also instilled
mass hysteria, global grief, worldwide trauma and a huge stop
to our everyday normal routines. So, how do we cope with a
worldwide pandemic given our fears of infection and spread?
How can we practice greater compassion at a time when we fear
limited resources? How can we take into account the impact of
our actions on others who may be more vulnerable than us?
Increase Self-Awareness
The first step to managing our COVID-19 stress better is
getting ourselves off auto-pilot by increasing our self-awareness.
Let’s call this what it is, again. We’re experiencing collective
trauma and grief on a worldwide level. We’re responding
to this with panic, fear, disbelief, hopelessness, numbness, denial,
hoarding behaviors, and a wide variety of other thoughts,
feelings and behaviors.
We first need to know what we’re dealing with internally and
the best way to do this is to bring a sense of curiosity, without
judgement. When we criticize ourselves for our reactions, it’s not
safe for those things to come into conscious awareness. If we
don’t create enough safety for us to feel what we feel, think what
we think, and sense what we sense, then they will operate at the
mercy of our unconscious, out of our awareness. Unaddressed,
they’ll wreak havoc on our lives, like this coronavirus has. Mindful
curiosity, without judgement, is the first step to treat what is bothering
us mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Attend to Thoughts, Feelings
& Body Sensations
Attending to our internal landscape, we need to acknowledge
what’s there, allowing for whatever exists without trying
to force it to be different. When we reject what we find or
judge it, it often gets more intense and lasts longer than it
otherwise would. Next, by naming what we find we get closer
to identifying it and attending to it in ways that are needed.
We then need to be with what we find in a balanced way,
not denying/minimizing/ignoring but also not overindulging/
obsessing/ruminating. We need to give it the space and time
it deserves to inform us of what’s going on so that we can
take appropriate actions, if any, and let it flow through us into
something different.
Take Mindful Action
Before we take any actions, let’s ask ourselves, is
this the best course of action right now? Sometimes we’re
doing something just to do something, and it’s not actually
what we need. Other times, we are in producing mode in an
attempt to justify our worth and value. I’ve had to even pace
myself in writing this and take longer than I’d like to, because
I recognized that I needed my own downtime first in order to
process everything that’s going on and take care of myself in
the ways I’m encouraging you to do here.
There are lots of great lists out there about what kinds of
activities we can do while staying at home. We don’t have to
do any of these things but rather whatever feels supportive
and nurturing right now.
Create Down Time
We are at an opportune time for a global reset on
how we manage our time. For far too long, and really since
the Industrial Age, we have promoted production and DOING
at the expense of balance and BEING. Both doing and being
are essential in living a full life but when they’re out of balance
we’re more likely to experience illness, burnout, boredom and
overall dissatisfaction in life.
We need to slow down to do more. If we’re over-producing and
over-working, there comes a place of diminishing returns. We can
lose our creative spark, concentration and focus. We lost connection
with our life force that replenishes us and keeps us inspired.
For a more balanced life, we need to be clear about what’s
most important to us, take action based on these goals, take
in the nourishment from doing this, and then rest in order to
recuperate. When we circumvent this process and don’t allow
enough down time, especially during crises like we’re currently
experiencing, we increase our suffering.
Spread Compassion
We are all in this together, even if we have differences
in how it affects us given our specific circumstances
and vulnerabilities. We’re all in this together despite our responses.
Some of us are on the front lines providing essential
services. Others are in self-quarantine to prevent spreading
this infection. There are still some of us who are denying the
gravity of all this or not caring about the impact of our exposure
to others in our communities. It brings out the best and
the worst in us.
This moment can magnify our soft spots and increase our
anxiety, depression, loneliness, suicidal thoughts/actions, and
relationship conflict including domestic violence and abuse. It can
engender harmful racism, discrimination and xenophobia. There
are many LGBTQ youth and adults that are not in safe homes
during all of these stay-at-home orders. This moment in time
highlights our wealth inequality and the systems that support it.
Hyper-capitalism, hyper-individualism and extreme religiosity are
systems that make it difficult to adapt appropriately to a pandemic.
Mindfulness WITH compassion is the antidote for what ails
us. When we increase our awareness in the present moment
with curiosity, instead of judgement, and bring compassion to
whatever we discover, we can navigate our response to reallife
threats, like pandemics. We honor our organic response,
get to know it, be with it and create space inside for how we
can care for it with gentleness, grace and even fierceness. It
takes both tremendous courage and vulnerability to do our
internal work, especially at a time like this.
APRIL 2020 | THE FIGHT 21

THESHARE
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APRIL 2020 | THE FIGHT 23

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APRIL 2020 | THE FIGHT 25

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28 THE FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com

PRIDE

THEFINALFIGHT
The Mirror
In The Entrance
In the entrance hallway of that sumptuous home there
was an enormous mirror, very old; acquired at least
eighty years ago.
A strikingly beautiful boy, a tailor’s assistant, (on
Sunday afternoons, an amateur athlete), was standing
with a package. He handed it to one of the household,
who then went back inside to fetch a receipt. The tailor’s
assistant remained alone, and waited.
He drew near the mirror, and stood gazing at himself,
and straightening his tie. Five minutes later they
brought him the receipt. He took it and left.
But the ancient mirror, which had seen and seen again,
throughout its lifetime of so many years, thousands of
objects and faces—but the ancient mirror now became
elated, inflated with pride, because it had received
upon itself perfect beauty, for a few minutes.
—Poem by C. P. Cavafy, written in 1930.
Translated from the Greek by Daniel Mendelssohn.
30 THE FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com
APRIL 2020 | THE FIGHT 29

APRIL 2020 | THE FIGHT 31

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32 THE FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com