2020 Optimal Living Magazine Christian Women in Business Issue

When I first encountered my husband,
he was a freshly ordained minister and a
sophomore in college. At the time, he was
looking for a wife, which was why he began
a conversation with my girlfriend I was
walking with!
As I look back on that season of my life,
I laugh about how God worked in us, to
prepare us for each other. At the time, I
didn’t know that my soul was searching for
Jesus! Ernst was settling into His call as a
young Pastor. We became friends, bumping
into each other once a semester. We would
talk about many things, including Jesus
once he found out I wasn’t saved. I wasn’t
interested at first, trying to figure out my
own life. But, then one day it clicked and I
knew I needed Jesus to figure out my life.
My then friend led me to Christ.
Jesus began stripping me of unhealthy
relationships, establishing His love and
acceptance of me. I was excited about
trusting Him with my love life. As a newly
saved young woman, I was pleading with
God to get closer to Him and the very first
clear direction He gave me was to break
up with my boyfriend. One of the hardest
things I had to do was to break up with my
boyfriend of 5 years. I loved him. He was
a good guy but he wasn’t a saved guy. I
had to trust God with my love life, even if
that meant I wasn’t going to get married
at 25 (or so I thought). The breakup was
hard and emotional but despite the tears
and moments of loneliness, at the center I
felt the peace of God. I knew I did the right
thing and that sustained me. After a while I
was enjoying my single life. I was getting to
know my God better, no interruptions, no
hindrances.
Ernst was a good friend encouraging me to
press deeper into Jesus. Months went by
until the Lord showed me in a dream that
Ernst had the Lords approval. I remember
waking up from that dream thinking, “ Lord,
I’m not trying to get into a relationship”. I
was enjoying my single season with God.
But soon after my feelings started to change
towards him, and came to the surface, I
loved him and wanted to marry him. I knew
Ernst was different because I never had
the desire to be married or thought to stay
married to any other man.
One year after being friends, we were
courting. One and half years after courting
he proposed to me after a New York City
Broadway play, dinner and a limo ride.
One and half years later, we were married
at the tender age of 25. After 16 years of
marriage, I have learned one thing that
remains true. Let God lead you in your
marriage and your single life! There were
many things we needed to grow in and are
still growing in individually and together;
from communication to sex. Marriage is a
living breathing relationship that grows and
evolves with unique nuances in respect to
each couple. The Holy Spirit can show you
what to do and how, but we need to keep
our hearts constantly open and engaged to
hear him.
First Lady Cochy is a loving wife, mother
of 3 beautiful children and a native New
Yorker. She is a graduate of New York
business school at Baruch City University of
New York. Today, she co- pastors alongside
her husband Ernst Cochy at Life Church in
Brooklyn, NY, which they launched in 2010.
She will release her first book entitled “He
Sees You” in 2020.
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