KALTBLUT-HONK! 03 The Divas

216
WITHQUEENS
BEARDS
by Christo Mitov
Illustration Ango The Meek Dead
still on the market. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is
a gay edition of REVENGE OF THE NERDS focusing
on sexcapades, roosters and other animals.
I am frustrated. Before I dropped the pink bomb at
my mother at the age of 19, I thought that the worst
part of my life would be coming out of the closet.
Well obviously I was wrong. I finally no longer had to
answer the dreaded question “Do you have a girlfriend?”
and I was granted my gay single amnesty.
The details of my sex life scared most people and only
my closest friends were brave enough to ask me if I
were top or bottom. Everything was perfect until the
day my mother asked me again - “So are you seeing
anyone?” I started to scan through the memories of
one-night stands, fuck buddies and meaningless sex.
It made me realize that the gay scene in Berlin is no
different than the cape of the lotus-eaters Odysseus
goes to on his way back from Troy. Except for the fact
that instead of lotus flowers, people pop pills and play
with the disco snow. I know making this statement
sounds tedious, but read till the end before you call
me a conservative fanatic or brand me as boring.
You know the drill - you go to Möbel Olfe (Maybe one
of Berlin’s most popular gay bars on a Thursday night)
and you get the feeling that you just walked in one of
those new naked scanners you find at airport security.
You get so many looks that you start to wonder if you
turned into a QR code. But this is nothing new if you’re
somewhere between the ages of twenty and forty and
In Berlin there’s always a new fuck. There is
always something better waiting around the corner.
That’s why you never settle, never decide to invest
your energy in one person and keep your options
open. That’s why you actually enjoy the market
and the naked scanner in Möbel Olfe. Don’t get me
wrong - it’s not like I would never set foot in this
bar again or would have never had sexcapades.
That’s also what Steven Bereznai
( http://www.stevenbereznai.com/portfolio.html )