7 Day Spirited Self-Love Challenge

"If You Can't Love
Yourself How In The
Hell Are You Gonna
Love Somebody Else?"
- Ru Paul
7 DAY
SPIRITED
SELF-LOVE
CHALLENGE
A guide to getting back
to loving yourself daily

7 Day Spirited Self-Love Challenge
WELCOME
Welcome My Friend to the 7-Day Spirited
Self-Love Challenge. Thank you for making
a decision to acknowledge yourself and
what you need in your life. This 7-day
challenge was created for you to
conceptualize what it means to “Love
Thyself” and with great hopes that you will
add to the list and create your own daily
practice of Spirited Self-Love. Our 7-Day
Spirited Self-Love Challenge is different
than most because it requires you to sit
down, open your journal, and dive deep
through writing. Yes, you can complete the
challenge on your cell phone, however the
impact is so much greater when you allow
your brain and soul to process your feelings.

Day 1: Self Compassion Inventory
Self Compassion Inventory:
Self-Compassion Inventory: Let’s
begin this challenge with a selfcompassion
inventory exercise.
What is self-compassion you may
ask? Let’s start with what it means
to have compassion. Compassion
involves the recognition and
understanding of suffering. It
involves feelings of kindness
for people who are suffering, so
much that the desire to help end
suffering emerges.
Self-compassion by definition has all these qualities. The only difference is
self-compassion requires you to recognize your own suffering. Many times,
we go through life not connected to our own feelings. Often times we cannot
be emotionally moved by our own pain because we are unable or unwilling
to acknowledge the feelings in the first place. More often than you might
think we don’t recognize our own suffering. Often when faced with
difficulties or stressful situations, we rarely take time to step back, reflect,
and recognize how hard it is in that moment. This is why a self-compassion
inventory is necessary to gauge where you are with your own
difficulties/challenges you may be experiencing currently. So, grab your
journal and let’s start with writing to engage more of your senses. The brain
is more active when we are writing, so the learning process is enhanced. The
more you write, the more likely you are to receive the clarity that you need.

Day 1: Self Compassion Inventory
I typically judge and criticize myself in the areas of (ex: appearance,
career, relationships, parenting, and so on). This judgment and criticism
come from____.
When I am up against life’s challenges, I tend to feel...
I feel unworthy when…
I feel unlovable because…
I feel most lonely when…
I often find myself comparing myself to….
When I am overly critical, I harm myself in the following ways,
I spend this ___ amount of time in the day checking in on myself.
The following are consequences of being too hard on myself:
Now that you have completed this exercise, let’s take it a step further. Imagine
a friend came to you with the responses your provided above. Imagine that
friend coming to you for help. How would you respond to them? What would
you say to your friend about their own suffering? How would you convey deep
compassion to your friend? Lastly, as your write to your friend, try to infuse
your letter with a strong sense of acceptance, love, compassion, and desire
for their health and happiness. Once completed, step back for a little while.
Then come back to the letter with understanding that you are your own best
friend, and really let the words of unconditional love sink in. It is important
that we recognize our own suffering and challenges we face in life. By bringing
awareness to this area, one is able to create a daily plan to grow stronger in
the areas of self-love and acceptance.

Day 2: Putting Yourself First
Putting Yourself First is an important part of maintaining self-love. Putting yourself
first does not mean that you say, “screw the world” or “it’s all about me”. Putting
yourself first means to tend and cultivate your own life. Putting yourself first means
addressing your own needs and working on healing your own wounds. I always like to
use the example of the flight attendant’s briefing on the airplane when they talk about
safety concerning the oxygen masks. The flight attendant always advises to breath in
the oxygen mask first, before trying to help a child or another person. If you do not
follow this protocol you might end up causing more harm, then actually helping the
person next to you. This is no different from your current reality. Which leads to our
next writing exercise, are you putting yourself first? Let’s do an inventory of this area
in your life!
How do you put yourself first?

Day 2: Putting Yourself First
If in this moment you
realize you do not put
yourself first, where
can you improve in this
area?
1) What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
2) Do you spend time checking in with yourself? (ex: Am I feeling, sad, happy,
anxious? Am I experiencing any pain in my body?)
3) How often are you on social media?
4) Can you see any harm that comes from you engaging in social media?
Are there any positive or negative emotions that come up for you? (ex: do you
love receiving likes, do you seek validation from followers, etc.)
5) How would you rate yourself on caring for your needs over others? Why that
rating?
6) Would you call yourself a people pleaser? If so, what do you gain from being
a people pleaser?

Day 2: Putting Yourself First
So, how did this
inventory go for you?
Are you making time for
yourself? Are you taking
the time necessary to
care for your own soul?
If not, look at your
answers and create a
plan on changes you can
implement right away.
A good idea for putting yourself first is doing a breathing meditation, writing
in your journal, or being silent in prayer. Cut out the noise in your life any way
you can. Create peace in the morning which is a great way to create peace
during your day! Here is a brief example, if you find yourself focusing too much
on the people on social media and comparing your life to theirs, take a break
from social media. If your notice the first thing you do when you wake up is
check your email or daily news, create a plan where the first thing you do is
read something positive and uplifting. Schedule a time during the day when
you read emails and catch up on news. I promise that email will be there, and
the news will still be there if you take the first 15 minutes of your day putting
yourself first!

Day 3: Boundaries
Ahh, one of my favorite subjects BOUNDARIES, how
many of us have them, Boundaries ones that you can
depend on!
(Insert Dance) What are boundaries? I easily define boundaries as a
way to make yourself feel safe and keep you safe. Maya Angelou
once said, “you teach people how to treat you.” This is such a
powerful statement and ties directly into boundaries. So, think about
how you have taught people how to treat you. Is it affirming? Is it
with respect? Or have you taught people it is okay to walk all over
you? Have you taught people it is okay to manipulate your time?
Have you taught your coworkers, friends, and family that you are a
living breathing doormat? Maintaining healthy boundaries in
relationships are so important to our growth and development as
human beings. Creating a space to recognize your own feelings and
when you are moving out of bounds into negative territory is critical.
Many people have a difficult time setting boundaries in fear of
hurting someone else through a firm “no” or by making someone
“mad.” Someone once said, “The only people who get mad when you
set boundaries, are the ones who benefited from you having none.”
Every time I quote this, people often go “yes, so true.” You know who
the people are that cross boundaries in your life on a regular basis.
You know the things you want to say “no” too, but you don’t want to
disappoint, so you say “yes” anyways. Often times this leads us to
having resentment towards ourselves and the people we are allowing
to cross boundaries.
So, let’s take time to reflect on boundaries.

Day 3: Boundaries
How often do you feel pressured to do things you do not like to do?
Think about work, family, friends, significant others, etc.
What are the reasons behind your fear to set boundaries?
What is the worst thing you believe will happen if you say “no” to
that person(s)?
Who are the people you wish you had enough courage to set
boundaries with? What do you wish you could say to them?

Day 3: Boundaries
Without thinking of any fears listed previously, think about how it
would feel to set boundaries with this person(s).
What is uncomfortable about recognizing your own feelings and
setting boundaries around them?
How can you begin to practice saying “no” to requests that make
you feel uncomfortable or put you in position to betray yourself?
How is setting boundaries part of putting yourself first?
Now that you have completed this exercise, how do you feel?
This topic is very overwhelming for many people. To get you one
more step closer to setting firm boundaries to make you feel safe
and stay safe here are some easy ways to say “no.” Keep in mind
that “no” is actually a complete sentence.
No, I will be unable to do that for you.” “Naw Fam, I’m good.”
“Nope” “I am unable to do that; however, this is what I can do”
“No, I have already committed my time to something else.” No,
I am unable to, however maybe ___ would be more fit to help you
with that…”
Start with practicing these sayings with yourself, get
comfortable with these words, and sprinkle in a bit
of courage. I promise, you will survive, and it will get
easier over time.

Day 4: Self-Acceptance
Day 4, Yay! You have
made it half-way through
the challenge. How are
you feeling? Any new
clarity and insight?
If you have made it to this point you should be able to properly evaluate your
relationship with yourself. We move even deeper to the subject of selfacceptance.
This is a tough one for many people because a lot of folks host solo
pity parties where no one else is invited. I like to think of self-acceptance as
cheering for the self that is awesomely great and showing grace to the part of
self that we may not be the proudest of at times. For my Star War fans think of
Kilo Ren and Ben, or the not so Star War fans think of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
Both are singular individuals with two sides to them both exhibiting what
society calls “good” and “bad.” My questions is could one exist without the other?
Look, we all have things we have said or done that we are not proud of, but is
that reason enough to not love ourselves? By being unkind to yourself what
does it prove and how does it make you feel? We all must understand that selfacceptance
is not a forever process (do it once and you are done), it is a daily
process. It is a process that requires connection in the present moment. Let’s
take time to write about things that you need to forgive yourself for and how to
accept what has passed. Let’s journey to self-acceptance and moving forward.

Day 4: Self-Acceptance
What are the things that you cannot accept about yourself?
How is non acceptance of who you are serving you in life?
If the things you are not willing to accept are keeping you from greatness, are
you willing to let them go? Why or Why not?
If your unwillingness to self-accept is because of a particular act or behavior,
are you willing to forgive yourself? Why or Why not?
How can you cultivate more self-acceptance into your daily practice?
Write a letter to yourself with kindness and forgiveness. Be genuine, truthful
about the pain, and how you can better learn to love this area of who you
are.

Day 5: Self-Care
Lately on social media and practically everywhere you go you have seen
the term self-care. Some might associate self-care with facials and other
expensive activities, but what is self-care really? Well, to each person, that
is an individual choice and decision. And, if you have the financial means
to pamper yourself then by all means go ahead. I like to think of selfcare
as anything and everything that is healing to the soul. It is
important to start thinking of ways to incorporate self-care on a daily
basis. Here are a few ways for you to develop a daily practice for
yourself.
Here are a few ways for you to develop a daily practice for
yourself.
- Going for a walk.
- Journaling your feelings and emotions.
- Seeking therapy.
- Hanging out with friends.
- Reading a good book.
- Exercising.
- Eating healthy foods.
- Making sure you take your breaks and lunches at work.
- Paying attention to your body for aches and pains.
- Going to the doctor when in pain.
- Cutting back on consumerism.
- Practicing gratitude.
- Waking up to meditate, pray, or sit in silence in the morning, versus
checking social media or emails.

Day 5: Self-Care
These are just a few activities to help identify ways you can enhance self-care
in your life daily. Once you have come up with ways to better incorporate selfcare,
make a commitment to yourself. Take the starter commitment below and
add what you want to do to incorporate self-care daily. Also, use your calendar
and schedule time for yourself. Let your phone be your life assistant and
remind you daily that self-care is non-negotiable.
I, ______ commit to myself to implement more self-care and love into my life
for myself. I make a commitment to myself to make time to love myself deeply
and check in with myself daily. I need this time for me, to reconnect with my
soul. In the process of self-care, I learn to listen to myself and my body. In this
process I get to learn to trust myself. I love myself, no matter what. I
love me!

Day 6: Gratitude
“Be thankful for what you
have, you’ll end up having
more. If you concentrate on
what you don’t have, you will
never ever have enough.”
-Oprah Winfrey
The Mindfulness Awareness Research Center of UCLA stated that gratitude changes
the neural structures in the brain and makes us feel happier and more content.
Feeling grateful and appreciating others when they do something good for us
triggers the ‘good’ hormones and regulates effective functioning of the immune
system. Scientists have suggested that by activating the reward center of the brain,
gratitude exchange alters the way we see the world and ourselves. In the powerful
words of THEE Oprah Winfrey, “Be thankful for what you have, you’ll end up having
more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never ever have enough.”
How does gratitude relate to self-love? In every way, if one cannot be grateful for
what they have regardless of challenges faced, how will they be able to fully love
themselves? Gratitude requires one to look beyond the ego and look at what is inside
them and around them.
So, let’s look at who and what you are be grateful for
and adding this to your self-love love practice.

Day 6: Gratitude
People I’m Grateful For:
Who has helped you to this point? Write the names of those you are grateful for
and why. And then, do something about it. Thank them for the specific things they
helped you with or inspired in you. Gift your people with those words. You never
know what good it might spark. List other things you are grateful such as your
health, food, water, etc. Try to create the habit of noting daily what you are grateful
for so you can look back at the reminders when life becomes challenging. You can
document your gratitude by journaling daily or you can go to your App Store and
download Gratitude Apps to remind you daily to input your thankfulness. Try it out
for 30 days and see how good it makes you feel.
Now, you may be saying 30 days is a lot to commit to however go
back to Day 5 on self-care and read your commitment to yourself.

Day 7: Have a Love Affair With Yourself
In honor of all the hard work you have done this week to cultivate
self-love, why not end this challenge by having a love affair with
yourself.
It is time to honor yourself by being in love with your own life in love with the
possibilities of growth and the ability to experience joy; and in love with the
process of self-discovery and not being afraid to learn deeper about yourself.
Just like you would meet an ideal partner, all the energy you would put into
being kind, generous, curious, loving, fun, spontaneous, compassionate, and
happy, now you get to put that into yourself. Go on, you don’t need permission
to love yourself 100%. It is not being conceited or arrogant to love yourself. In
the famous words of RuPaul, “If you don’t love yourself, how the hell you going
to love somebody else.”
So no you get to write a
love letter to yourself.
Remember there is no right or
wrong way to write this letter. It
is to you, every part of you! Take
what you have learned and put
it into a love letter to yourself.
And once completed put it
somewhere you can refer to
when you are feeling challenged
by life. Have fun with this
exercise. Even if all you can say
is “I love me” write it down!
Enjoy!

7 Day Spirited Self-Love Challenge
Thank you, friends, for completing this 7-Day Spirited Self-Love
Challenge. Spirited By Truth would love to hear your feedback about
the challenge in order to continue to provide content that is helpful
and beneficial to your growth and development. You will receive a
follow up survey in 24 hours that is brief and will take no longer
than 2 minutes to complete. We appreciate any feedback you can
provide, and we look forward to continuously serving you in the
Spirited Community!