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Uncovering one family's secrets:
Where are the grown-ups? by Ruth Badley
age.
Where are the Grown-ups? is a true story that takes the
reader through three generations of an East End Jewish
family. Part history, part memoir, Ruth's search to
uncover long-buried secrets brings understanding and
acceptance to what was a complex and often painful
mother-daughter relationship. It deals with family
dynamics, and how misunderstandings can shape
us and leave their indelible mark to linger long after
we've become adults.
The book 'begins at the end,' as Ruth's mother
lay dying in hospital, with Ruth reflecting on their
fraught relationship and her childhood in 1960's
Stepney. As often happens in these situations,
she feels a need to delve into her family history to
answer unspoken questions, and the book travels
back to the 1930's, where family secrets are
buried. Ruth's maternal grandmother had died in
childbirth, yet no one talked about it. Why? The
details are sketchy and now, there's no one who
remembers what happened, or, if they do, they
aren't saying.
The characters are sharply etched and keenly
observed, and there is a poignancy and rawness in the way Ruth
describes her childhood, in particular, depicting the angst that accompanies one's coming of
Ruth's search to uncover the mysteries of her family history takes the reader back in time to an East
End that is very different from today, yet her story will resonate with those who have had difficult
family relationships. It reminds us that our parents are not one-dimensional, as we so often assume,
and that they have their own demons to conquer. It's also a testament to familial love, however
convoluted that can be, and that, alongside age and the wisdom of experience, forgiveness and
understanding often come late in the day.
RUTH BADLEY
W: ruthbadley.com
T: @RuthBadleyPR
I: @ruth.badley
FB: @wherearethegrownups
Where are the grown-ups? is available at the Brick Lane
Bookshop and Newham Bookshop as well as online.
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