Static Live Magazine December 2019 Issue

To Clip or
Not to CliP
Behind the Mic:
2019 Superlatives
Sounds of
the Season
Chipmunks Rule Christmas Music!
DREAMING OF A HYPE CHRISTMAS

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“Anytime someone tells me
that I can’t do something, I
want to do it more.”
~ Taylor Swift
Oh My Goddess
A Day in the Life of a Gigging Musician
Chipmunks Rule Christmas Music!
Snap It
On the Block
Dreaming of a Hype Christmas
To Clip or Not to Clip
The Accompanist
Static Live Event Calendar
Rocktails
Artist Feature: Kelcie McQuaid
Mike Bloomfield: A Blues Tragedy
Sounds of the Season
Behind the Mic: Riggs
Metal Compost
Static Live Media Group, LLC
927 S. Ridgewood Ave., Suite A5
Edgewater, FL 32132
386-847-2716 www.staticlivemag.com
Sean Impara, Publisher
Billy Chapin, Co-Publisher
Jenny McLain, Editor
Nicole Henry, Graphic Artist
COVER ART BY GARY KROMAN
© 2019, Static Live Media Group, LLC. All rights
reserved. No part of this publication may be
reproduced or transmitted in any form by any
means electronic, mechanical, photocopying,
recording or otherwise without the prior written
permission of the authors.
STUDIOS
DREAM. CREATE.
Making great music since 1999
For scheduling, Contact Sean at (386) 847-2716
GG
Hey I’m GG and I am brand new with Premiere Model Management.
I love fashion, playing hockey, and listening to music. Right now, my
favorite artist is definitely Harry Styles! My friends and I love to road
trip to new places to see the bands we love, this summer we drove up
and down from Florida to Georgia to go to the Midtown Music festival
and see The 1975 in Atlanta!
One day, I’d love to travel all over the world. It would be a dream to
model and see my favorite artists in amazing places like Italy, London,
and more!
Photo credit: Mandy Lynn
Oh My...Goddess
5

y Adam Floyd
MISSION
To create competent expanded
functions dental assistants (EFDA’s)
that will be employable.
My experience and passion for
Dentistry is dedicated to teaching
the skills that I have enjoyed
and excelled for 28 years.
Most important of all reward of
helping others achieve their smile
SMILES WORLDWIDE!
NOW ENROLLING
RECOVERY from a long week of
concerts, gigs, and lessons is essential for a working
musician. The season is in full swing and I’ve got to
make hay while the sun shines. How to bounce back
and do it all again, day after day, with energy and
verve? Part of the bounce back needed is physical,
but some of it is mental.
On the physical side, I like to stick with the basics
and they are cheap or free: Sleep, water and walking.
Resting and napping, not just the old eight hours. I’ll
lounge around endlessly and chill out with no visitors
or social commitments. Hydrate to the extreme. It’s
even more important if you are a singer, but also if
you are doing nightclub work or enjoy a cocktail while
you perform.
Walking is low-impact and an excellent way to stretch
out and restore my energy.
Instrumentalists will benefit from yogic hand stretches
called Mudras. Take it slowly, especially at first: These
hand poses are strong medicine.
6
Mental rebuilding is a bit more tricky but just
as important for my career as a performer.
I use a variety of approaches, starting with
the afore-mentioned chillout. Meditation takes it to
the next level. Reading helps me quite a bit, and the
subject can be a mindless tripe. Sometimes you need
to go low brow and just vegetate. Binge watching your
favorite shows or hanging out at the beach, a long
chat with a lifelong friend can help. We all have things
that re-center us. The key is to find what works for you
and pursue it proactively.
I like to keep the music fresh and cycle in neglected
material while I learn new tunes. Why not have
some fun and invite new players in as guest stars?
Whenever a band member needs the night off, I see it
as an opportunity to expand my horizons. This time of
year with holiday parties and events is a great time to
collaborate with some new blood.
A positive mental attitude is the greatest asset I have.
While those in sales or corporate work are trained
in the practice, musicians sometimes have a more
difficult time. After all, we are often rewarded for
being pouty or punkish. The angry youth or snarling
malcontent from our stage persona can leak over
and become part of our real life. Keep it light with a
healthy dose of humility. Laughing at ourselves will
ensure a quick RECOVERY.

Chipmunks
Rule
Christmas Music!
To hell with Spinal Tap’s “Christmas With the Devil,”
Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas,” James Brown’s
“Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto” and the
Ramones’ “Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight
Tonight).”
The greatest Yule music ever created, at least since
Og the Caveman cut “I Want a Velociraptor for
Christmas,” is “Christmas with the Chipmunks.”
Alvin and the Chipmunks were an animated . . . ahem,
“singing group” created in the late 1950s by Ross
Bagdasarian Sr. (recording under the name David
Seville). In 1958, Bagdasarian got the ingenious idea
to speed up a recording of his own voice, so that it
sounded mega-high-pitched and squeaky-freaky --
just like he had huffed a six pack of helium balloons.
The resulting song, “Witch Doctor,” went straight to
No. 1 on the pop charts.
Soon after that, Bagdasarian somehow intuited
that his freak voice sounded just like chipmunks
would sound if they had human speech – and so
a phenomenon was born. Bagdasarian created
and released “The Chipmunk Song (Christmas
Don’t Be Late)” later in 1958, while magnanimously
forgoing vocal credits and instead giving them to the
Chipmunks. The cartoon band’s song snagged two
wins at the first-ever Grammy Awards that year: for
Best Comedy Performance and Best Recording for
Children. In 1960 the ’Munks won the Grammy for
Best Album Created for Children for “Let’s All Sing
with the Chipmunks.”
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As a lifelong rock music writer, I am required
to point out that, right out of the gate, the
Chipmunks scored one more Grammy than
Led Zeppelin ever did, and Zep’s wins didn’t come
until their Lifetime Achievement Award in 2005 and
their Best Rock Album honor in 2013 for “Celebration
Day.” Suck it, “Stairway to Heaven”!
If that doesn’t prove that the Chipmunks are
awesome, there’s this bit of scientific research that
makes me unequivocally state that the ’Munks
created the Greatest. Christmas. Music. Ever: Since
“Christmas with the Chipmunks” was released in
1962 and “Christmas with the Chipmunks Vol. 2” was
released in 1963, I have listened to these little freaks
way more than such Yule tunes as John Lennon’s
“Happy Xmas (War is Over)” or Paul McCartney’s
goofy earworm “Wonderful Christmastime.”
Of course, 7,673,213 of those listens came during
a 15-month period in my youth, when my younger
brother and I convinced our poor parents to let us
spin the Chipmunks’ Xmas tunes all the way from
December 1962 to July 28, 1963, and, after a threeday
hiatus from those joyous, glorious little bastards,
it was time to start spinning their Yule tunes on August
1 to get in the mood for Christmas 1963!
If you come across the dark-web rumor that the CIA
uses the ’Munks recording of “Silver Bells” to torture
captured Russian spies, ignore it! Yes, that rumor
probably has some degree of truth. But here’s another
handy, practical bit of scientific research: If you fear a
visit by Krampus, that goat-looking, demon dude who
punishes bad boys and girls during Christmas season,
the only way to ward him off and avoid getting
speared by his horns is to play the Chipmunks’ Xmas
music – 24/7.
Have a cool Yule.
by Rick de Yampert

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1. Photo Credit Tim Teuch - Alice Cooper 2. Photo Credit Reluctant Genius - Kelly Jarrard 3. Photo Credit Tim Teuch
4. Photo Credit Reluctant Genius - The Cyclones 5. Photo Credit Angela Bugarsky - The Transfers
6. Photo Credit Reluctant Genius - NW Izzard 7. Photo Credit Tim Teuch - Alice in Chains 8. Photo Credit Tim Teuch - Alice in Chains

Two Sides to Every Record
12
I grew up listening to my mom’s music, my dad’s
music, my friends and family members who
played or sang music and music I discovered on
my own. I’ve found a place in my library for a
certain amount of all genres and decades – Rock,
Pop, Blues, Alternative, Country, Indie, Metal,
Ska, Gospel. Some music appeals to me for
the memories it brings and not so much for the
music itself. I remember listening to the radio
on car trips with my Dad as we traveled around
North Carolina for his job. I remember the songs
my Mom would sing with
us and the songs she
would sing in beautiful
harmony with her sisters.
I remember trying to bond
with my brothers over
whatever was their music
of choice at the time and I
discovered a lot of things
about them by doing that.
I was an awkward teenage
girl many decades ago so
the variety is as vast as
the emotions of a teenage
girl in the late ‘70s and
early ‘80s.
Many people my age
and a little older are stuck in the ‘70s. There
are the typical “staples” that come to mind - the
Rolling Stones, the Grateful Dead, The Who, Led
Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, the Doors. I’m personally
a huge fan of Queen (and Freddy Mercury),
Meatloaf, CCR, Simon and Garfunkel, and the
Kinks but not so much a fan of other popular
artists of that time such as the Bee Gees and Rod
Stewart. I would do almost anything if given the
choice of that thing or going to a Fleetwood Mac
Concert. I saw Barry Manilow in concert once
because the tickets were free and, in the end, I
honestly would have paid for the tickets because
HE was having such a good time. I also saw
Willie Nelson with a free ticket and I would have
paid money NOT to be there. I’ve walked out of
concerts I paid a lot of money to see because I
didn’t want my memories ruined by the noise that was
coming from the speakers.
On the other hand, I listen to music that is not
necessarily my choice while I am at work and find
myself understanding the popularity of some of it and
even downloading songs that I find interesting. I’m
not sure whether I should be ashamed that I like the
remake of “Old Town Road”. I also like Panic! At the
Disco, Bastille, Bruno Mars, Luke Combs, Imagine
Dragons and The Script. I have recently become
aware that “Walk-Up” music is a thing even in Little
League (if that’s common
knowledge, keep in mind that
I don’t have children); I like to
learn what the kids choose for
their song. Because I work in
a fairly large medical practice
and my coworkers have great
demographic variety, I poll
them and ask things like,
“What was the first concert
you went to?”, “What is your
go-to playlist?” and “What are
your kids listening to?”
As a result, I have started
choosing playlists that include
current music I may not be
familiar with. I turn some of
it off pretty quickly and go back to my favorites but
more often than not, I find something I like in the mix
somewhere if I just keep an open mind. The same
goes for my weekend live music searches. Even if
I don’t know the artist that is playing as I pass by a
venue, I go in and listen for a bit, just to see what’s
new and who is venturing out. I’ve abandoned a drink
or two for the sake of my sanity, but I generally stay
and listen long enough to be respectful.
I’ve learned from my office polls that many young
people are “discovering” some of the music of my
decade(s) and I’m making the effort to discover new
things as well. After all, anyone who thinks the music
of the ‘70s was all golden and today’s music is all
trash should remember . . . the ‘70s also brought us
“Disco Duck” by Rick Dees and his Cast of Idiots.
On the Block
By Jenny McLain
13

Lately there’s been a lot of hype, both positive
and negative, when it comes to this month’s
featured artist. Whether you like her or not,
there’s no doubt that she’s made an impact
on the music world from everything like being voted
VMA’s Artist of the Decade to creating a huge amount
of controversy regarding music rights and publishing.
Taylor Swift started out as a country star but it wasn’t
long before she sold out and went where the real
money was - pop music. What most people don’t
know is that her parents spent millions of dollars to
make her famous. Coming from a very wealthy family
and having the right connections can definitely benefit
you in rising to the top in the music business.
On Friday, November 22, Scooter Braun - the man
behind buying all the music of the artist - directly
addressed Taylor on social media saying that his
family has been receiving “death threats” amid their
very public dispute. Seems silly, yet it’s true.
The lengthy Instagram post came hours after Braun
first broke his months-long silence on the matter
during a Q&A at the 2019 Entertainment Industry
Conference. In the letter, the 38-year-old music
manager asked Swift if they could work together to
find a “resolution” to their spat, which most recently
included Swift calling on her legion of fans last week
to put pressure on Braun and Scott Borchetta — the
owners of her masters — to allow her performance to
go forward at Sunday’s American Music Awards. After
much debate they agreed to let her perform some of
her previous hits.
It just goes to show, the power of fans and the
ability of a huge star to manipulate the system
sometimes, if not always, works. Perhaps if she and
her management had been a little more cautious
in protecting her music she wouldn’t be in the
predicament that is happening now. A similar thing
happened when in In 1985, Paul McCartney gave
the King of Pop a business tip: Owning the catalog
of famous songs from others it can be very lucrative.
What McCartney didn’t realize is that Michael Jackson
would play him at his own game. Later that year
Jackson did the unthinkable and purchased the rights
to 251 Beatles tunes.
One would think that people in the music business
would learn from the past, yet Ms. Swift
was doomed to repeat it. Maybe being a
billionaire just isn’t enough for her but it
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DREAMING OF
A HYPE CHRISTMAS
By The Reluctant Genius
seems she’s determined to be a Scrooge
and challenge what what was a legal
business transaction. While the future holds
many secrets, one thing is for sure; she’s
not hurting for cash this holiday. Here’s a
little more about Taylor Swift and what’s
she’s done to become one of the biggest
and now one of the most controversial
music stars in history:
Taylor Alison Swift was born on December
13, 1989. She showed an interest in music
at an early age and progressed quickly from
performing in children’s theater to singing
the National Anthem at a Philadelphia 76ers
game at age 11. When she was 13, her
parents sold their farm in Pennsylvania to
move to the Nashville, Tennessee area and
court nearby country music labels. At the
age of 14, she became the youngest artist
signed by the Sony/ATV publishing house.
She performed songs she had written at
venues in Nashville and was noticed by
Scott Borchetta at one such performance.
At age 16, Swift released a self-titled debut
album after her first single, “Tim McGraw”,
spent eight months on the Billboard country
singles chart. She toured with Rascal Flatts
and was certified platinum in 2007. In 2008
her second album, Fearless, courted both
country and pop fans, opened at number
one on the Billboard 200 chart. Her second
album, Fearless, won four Grammy awards
and made Swift the youngest Album of
the Year winner. She won the best female
video category at the MTV Video Music
Awards, where her acceptance speech was
interrupted by Kanye West, who claimed
the award should have gone to Beyoncé.
Later in the evening, when Beyoncé was
accepting the award for video of the year,
she invited Swift back on stage to finish her
speech.
Swift is one of the best selling artists of all
time and has received numerous awards as
a songwriter as well. Her other accolades
include 10 Grammy awards, one Emmy, 29
American Music Awards, 23 Billboard Music
Awards, six Guinness World Records, three
appearances on Time’s list of the
100 most influential people in the
world, among others.
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To Clip or Not to CliP
By Randy Pepper
About 15 years ago we started seeing these
little clip on things popping up on guitars.
Most people chucked them up to being a fad,
but to others, it was a revolution. What is this
I am talking about? The clip on tuner. Yes, you see
them on almost every guitarist’s headstock playing
solo or duo, and in many bands. You see players like
George Lynch even using one in his concerts.
So what is the best one to get? This is a very hard
question, as it’s a very crowded market. Makers
include Snark, who was the first to capitalize and
continue to dominate the market. Others have done
very well as well, like TC Electronics and Intellitouch.
Sirus Nascar, host of The Front Stretch and singer/
guitarist for the Pit Road Pickers said he likes to use
the Intellitouch because it’s very bright and he can
see even in the sunlight. Orlando guitarist for MP4, JC
Cova, said he uses the TC Helicon Polytune; super
accurate in loud situations, very readable and it is
sturdier than the Snark. Dave Lauber of the popular
AC/DC tribute band Thunder Jack Uses the Red
Snark ST-2. It’s VERY affordable, accurate enough,
and I can SEE it even when the sun is
beating me up. I can also tune with vibration
mode with my volume DOWN and the
audience thanks me for that. Between songs
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I can literally check my tuning in less than 5 seconds.
Also Paul Revere and Raiders bassist Ron Foos said
his using a Snark clip-on tuner for stage use and or
the built-in tuner, Logic Pro X in the studio.
Some players still prefer not to clip and instead use
pedal tuners to tune up with. The Boss TU-2 and 3
have been the king of this market for a long time but
there are some others that work very well. Nascar
competition director at Richard Petty Motorsports
and also a weekend warrior in the offseason Philippe
Lopez uses the Korg Pitchblack and puts it as the first
pedal in the chain to keep his signal clean. Nirvanna
guitarist Clayton Sturgeon uses both a Snark Clip
on for his acoustic shows and a Boss Pedal for his
electric stuff. There are so many other choices out
there but these are some of what the players are
using.
With Christmas coming, you can’t go wrong buying
your favorite guitarist or bassist a clip on tuner even if
they already have one. You can pick one up at places
like Guitar Attic in Holly Hill (shameless plug) and I’m
sure they will be very happy you did.
Randy Pepper is a freelance guitarist for hire and
the owner of the Guitar Attic in Holly Hill.
LIVE MUSIC
4 MARK MOORE
6 MIKE QUICK BAND
CASEY PICOU
7 MIKE QUICK BAND
ETC
11 WARREN BECK
13 DJ
ACOUSTIC INFERNO
14 DJ
RANDY WILLIAMS
18 BRADFORD BUCKLEY
20 SOCIETY
MARRY MCCARRICK
21 SOCIETY
THE VIBE
27 POP CULTURE POETS
PSYCOUSTIC
28 POP CULTURE POETS
ETC / AARON LIGHTNIN
*Music is subject to change
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THE ACCOMPANIST
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Much has been written about the allure of
music. You see its effects on toddlers who
hear a song with a strong rhythm. Suddenly
arms are flailing, knees piston-ing, faces
broadcasting unmitigated joy. Most of us
never grow out of this. Our outer reactions
change but the inner thrill remains. The
reasons for this likely lie somewhere beyond
our understanding so we accept the mystery
and let it carry us along. Those of us who
can’t leave well enough alone become
musicians. We who came of age before the
advent in popular music of spoken-word and
personal computers came of age in the era
of bands. Bands were cool. Before bands
there was Elvis. Bands were sleek and quick,
had inside jokes. Elvis was giving a handgun
to Richard Nixon. It was easy to take sides.
Many young bands got into the scene for
reasons other than music. Once it became
apparent that the Beatles were not born
into Beatle-dom, that they began to turn into
the Beatles only after several years of 20-
hour work days, many dropped out. Once it
became apparent that no matter how many
20-hour work days a band put in they were
not going to be chased by screaming girls
into a chauffeur-driven Rolls Royce, the rest
dropped out. Not entirely. There were a few
aspirants left, the ones in thrall to the sound.
The sound was the beginning, eternal. It
existed before during and after the comings
and goings of the outer world.
A successful band is the result of a fortuitous
confluence. They are few. We have our
favorites. We know what each member
contributes, how the interaction with other
members shapes the sound we love. Bands
who aren’t The Who or The Doors, that is,
most bands break up as the members begin
to enter adulthood, when they are faced with
deciding how to pay their way in the world.
One, sometimes more than one member will
want to continue as a musician. Now what?
This is where a million different stories begin.
I will attempt to outline one path, that of the
professional accompanist, or SIDE-MAN.
(“Side-man” was the original term. We will
now, respectfully, shift to “side-person.”)
“I need to work, to make money. I cannot
maintain a satisfactory level of instrumental
proficiency with a day job. Can I sing? Do
I want to? Am I entertaining?” Did you answer NO
to any two of the three questions? Well then, find
somebody who answered YES to all three and
go to work for them. If you do you can still pursue
ambitions, if you have them, of being an “artist”
yourself but you must keep them out of sight around
your employer and your employer’s fans. I realize
that I haven’t told you HOW to go about securing
employment with this artist. Here you will need to
employ a skill that you will continuously employ after
you get the gig: reading the psychology of the artist.
Artists are tremendously complex, walking a thin
rail that bisects terror and euphoria. If you have at
least a touch of an artist in you you stand a chance
of understanding your employer well enough to be
of benefit to them and to yourself. A common rookie
mistake is to try to take for yourself what the artist
you work for has achieved. DO NOT DO THIS. Do
not attempt to promote yourself to the connections
this artist has cultivated. Apply the adage once
applied to children: speak only when spoken to. While
engaged in your employer’s business, do not refer
to any of your outside efforts unless asked about
them. Whether you aspire to be an artist or your
goals do not extend past being an excellent sideperson
pay attention to what goes on around your
employer, what works and doesn’t work in the music
and presentation. Also learn what works and doesn’t
work in your communication with your employer.
Artists vary greatly in how much collaboration they
want. When offering suggestions be sensitive enough
to know how far you should go. Always be willing to
try to give the artist what they are asking for in their
music.
When you work for an artist you are in a relationship.
Most likely, with the obvious exception of family, there
is nothing more important to this artist than their
music. You will be expected to be supportive of this.
There is more at stake here than a job you walk away
from at 5 pm weekdays and forget about completely
on Saturday and Sunday. You, the side-person, can
put the job out of your mind when not actually on the
job, but your employer will be living with it 24/7/365.
This can be a tricky situation to navigate. Some
artists, because they are so immersed, may lose sight
of the fact that you have a life outside of their music.
They may need to be reminded. Remind them. If you
allow them to drag you into their degree of immersion
you may grow to resent it and begin the downward
slide into complaining and discontent.
However, if you are willing to be more immersed in
your employer’s career than the next guy it could
work in your favor. There are, working today, many
recording artists whose present-day status in the
music industry does not match the standing they
enjoyed during their heyday. Many artists who once
played arenas are now playing clubs and 250-500
seat theaters. In the past, record companies offered
tour support as a necessary investment toward album
sales. Most of these artists are no longer signed to
record company contracts and are self-producing their
records and selling them at their concerts. They are
paying all of the expenses of touring. A new breed
of touring musician/side-person has emerged. For
the chance to escape the bar band scene, these
musicians are doing extra work. When these stars
were on top they were paying for specific services and
assistants. Now, enter the bass player/booking agent,
the drummer/tour manager. Many of these musicians
are not charging for these extra services. The extra
work is worth the opportunity to join the band of a
legitimate rock star. For the rock star’s part, if he can
save money by hiring a bar band musician who will
do another job in addition to his own, who can blame
him?
I have attempted to give a brief overview of the role
and opportunities for the side-person. Cases vary.
There is no clear tried and true path. One thing is
certain: being a side-person can be rewarding to
the musician whose first love is music.
If you are living inside each note as it is
played you are in the best place that can be
reached in music.
By Dan Walters 19

www.StaticLiveMag.com
Crabby’s Oceanside - Cyclones Unplugged 12pm
Outriggers - Bradford Buckley 2pm
Tayton O’Brians - Casey Picou 8pm
Sunday, December 1
Bounty Bar - Jay Paski 7pm
Chase’s - Warren Beck 10am
Crabby’s Oceanside - Jonny Odis 12pm
Outriggers - Danny Dread 2pm
Tayton O’Brians - Hall Brothers 8pm
Tuesday, December 3
Grind/Kona - The Transfers 6pm
Wednesday, December 4
Grind/Kona - Are Friends Electric 6pm
Traders - Mark Moore 7pm
Thursday, December 5
31 Supper Club - Warren Beck 6pm
Flagler Tavern - Eddy Davis 5pm
Gind/Kona - The Click 7:30pm
Outriggers - Dustin Stock 6pm
Yellow Dog Eats - Claire Vandiver 6pm
Friday, December 6
31 Supper Club - John Rhodes 7pm
Bounty Bar - Adam Swari 7pm
Crabby’s Oceanside - Jay Paski 4pm
Grind/Kona - The Vibe 7pm
NSB Brewing - Warren Beck 6pm
Outriggers - Smokin’ Torpedoes 6pm
Traders - Casey Picou 6pm
Traders - Mike Quick Band 9pm
Yellow Dog Eats - The Evening Muze 6pm
Saturday, December 7
31 Supper Club - William Cintron 7pm
Bounty Bar - Hannah Wilson 7pm
Chase’s - Faith Hannon 4pm
Crabby’s Oceanside - Warren Beck 12pm
Crabby’s Oceanside - The Vibe 5pm
Grind/Kona - Ian Opalinski 7pm
NSB Brewing - Down River Duo 6pm
Outriggers - Brent Clowers 6pm
Tayton O’Brians - Bradford Buckley 9pm
Tortugas - The Cyclones 6pm
Traders - Etc 6pm
Traders - Mike Quick Band 9pm
Yellow Dog Eats - Gina Cuchetti 6pm
20
Sunday, December 8
Bounty Bar - The Evening Muze 7pm
Chase’s - Bradford Buckley 10am
Crabby’s Oceanside - Down River Duo 12pm
Flagler Tavern - Bradford Buckley 5pm
Outriggers - The Vibe 2pm
Tayton O’Brians - Casey Picou 8pm
Tuesday, December 10
Grind/Kona - The Evening Muze 6pm
Wednesday, December 11
Grind/Kona - Chuck Morel 6pm
Traders - Warren Beck 7pm
Thursday, December 12
31 Supper Club -Jonny Odis 6pm
Bounty Bar - Warren Beck 7pm
Flagler Tavern - Ian Opalinski 5pm
Grind/Kona - Luvu 7:30pm
Outriggers - Cory Shenk 6pm
Yellow Dog Eats - The Cyclones 6pm
Friday, December 13
31 Supper Club - The Jazz Team 7pm
Bounty Bar - Thom Blasberg 7pm
Crabby’s Oceanside - Danny Dread 4pm
Grind/Kona - Brent Clowers 7pm
NSB Brewing - The Vibe 6pm
Outriggers - Jimmy Z 6pm
Traders - Acoustic Inferno 6pm
Traders - DJ 9pm
Yellow Dog Eats - Jay Paski 6pm
Saturday, December 14
31 Supper Club - Brent Clowers 7pm
Bounty Bar - Brody Mullikin 7pm
Chase’s - Danny Dread 4pm
Crabby’s Oceanside - Mark Moore 12pm
Crabby’s Oceanside - Clint & Layla 5pm
Grind/Kona - The Cyclones 7pm
NSB Brewing - Seth Pause 6pm
Outriggers - The Evening Muze 6pm
Tayton O’Brians - James Ryan 9pm
Tortugas - Smyrna Erb 6pm
Traders - Randy Williams 6pm
Traders - DJ 9pm
Yellow Dog Eats - Adam Floyd 6pm
Sunday, December 15
Bounty Bar - Jeff Risinger 7pm
Chase’s - The Transfers 10am
Tuesday, December 17
Grind/Kona - The Transfers 6pm
Wednesday, December 18
Grind/Kona - Are Friends Electric 6pm
Traders - Bradford Buckley 7pm
Thursday, December 19
31 Supper Club - Cesar Romero 7pm
Bounty Bar - Austin Miller 7pm
Flagler Tavern - Ian Opalinski 5pm
Grind/Kona - Bradford Buckley Band 7:30pm
Outriggers - Dustin Stock 6pm
Yellow Dog Eats - Chuck Morel 6pm
Friday, December 20
31 Supper Club - Mark Raisch 7pm
Bounty Bar - Music Matt 7pm
Crabby’s Oceanside - Mike Quick Band 4pm
Grind/Kona - Adam Floyd 7pm
NSB Brewing - Sam Seas 6pm
Outriggers - Off the Road 6pm
Traders - Marty McCarrick 6pm
Traders - SocietY 9pm
Yellow Dog Eats - Down River Duo 6pm
Saturday, December 21
31 Supper Club - Rocker Jake 7pm
Bounty Bar - Faith Hannon 7pm
Chase’s - Smyrna Erb 4pm
Crabby’s Oceanside - The Evening Muze 12pm
Crabby’s Oceanside - Austin Miller 12pm
Grind/Kona - Cory Worsley Duo 7pm
NSB Brewing - The Evening Muze 6pm
Outriggers - Relief 6pm
Tayton O’Brians - Cody & Kyle 9pm
Tortugas - 5 Time Shag 6pm
Traders - The Vibe 6pm
Traders - SocietY 9pm
Yellow Dog Eats - Eddy Davis 6pm
Sunday, December 22
Bounty Bar - Jay Paski 7pm
Chase’s - Reed Foley 10am
Crabby’s Oceanside - Jessie Abbey 12pm
Flagler Tavern - Randy Williams 5pm
Outriggers - The Vibe 2pm
Tayton O’Brians - Pot Likkers 8pm
Tuesday, December 24
31 Supper Club - Warren Beck 6pm
Grind/Kona - The Evening Muze 6pm
DECEMBER
2019
Thursday, December 26
31 Supper Club - The Transfers 6pm
Bounty Bar - Jonny Odis 7pm
Grind/Kona - Trainwreck Trio 7:30pm
Outriggers - Cory Shenk 6pm
Tayton O’Brians - Eddy Davis 8pm
Yellow Dog Eats - Clint & Layla 6pm
Friday, December 27
31 Supper Club - Felix Deneau 7pm
Beacon - Jason Longoria 6pm
Bounty Bar - Warren Beck 7pm
Crabby’s Oceanside - Cory Worsley 4pm
Grind/Kona - Bradford Buckley 7pm
NSB Brewing - Brent Clowers 6pm
Outriggers - Gina & Mary Cuchetti 6pm
Traders - Psycoustic 6pm
Traders - Pop Culture Poets 9pm
Yellow Dog Eats - Jonny Odis 6pm
Saturday, December 28
31 Supper Club - Dana Kamide Band 7pm
Bounty Bar - Reed Foley 7pm
Chase’s - Jay Crosier 4pm
Crabby’s Oceanside - Jonny Odis 12pm
Crabby’s Oceanside - Jason Longoria 5pm
Flagler Tavern - Are Friends Electric 5pm
Grind/Kona - Jay Paski 7pm
NSB Brewing - Bradford Buckley 6pm
Tortugas - Cain 6pm
Traders - Etc 2:30pm
Traders - Aaron Lightnin’ 6:30pm
Traders - Pop Culture Poets 9pm
Yellow Dog Eats - Hannah Wilson 6pm
Sunday, December 29
Chase’s - Jonny Odis 10am
Crabby’s Oceanside - Warren Beck 12pm
Flagler Tavern - Adam’s Edge 5pm
Outriggers - Are Friends Electric 2pm
Tayton O’Brians - Casey Picou 8pm
Monday, December 30
Tayton O’Brians - Bradford Buckley 9pm
Tuesday, December 31
31 Supper Club -Rat Pack 7pm
Grind/Kona - Bradford Buckley 8pm
Outriggers – The Vibe 8pm
21

Rocktails
with Katie
Hey all you Static Live readers out there! It’s the most
wonderful time of year for some cocktail lovin’ from
your local Mixtress, Cocktails with Katie. This Rocktail
is made in honor of Deep Purple December! A month I
made up dedicated to those English Rock & Roll Hall
of Fame legends that drove hard-rock muscle straight
into the pop charts in the grooviest of eras, the ‘70s,
baby! So crank up Highway Star as you ride over to
NSB’s Flagler Tavern this month for The Bounty’s
beloved Christmas Cocktail list; make sure you don’t
forget to rock out with your cocktail out.
Naughty list, here we come! I was introduced to the
intoxicating sound of Deep Purple by my bad-ass
drummer/fiancee, Mr. Juliano Ciampaglia Rosa.
Juliano is a crazy talented, self taught drummer
that learned by listening to Deep Purple’s own
drummer, Ian Paice. Paice is Juliano’s drumming idol
and basically his greatest music influencer. While
listening to all of Deep Purple’s albums like Come
Taste the Band (‘75), Fireball (‘71), Burn
(‘74); Juliano followed Paice’s lead into
becoming a master of the sticks. Paice’s
swing-style drumming, solid work ethic
22
and status of being of the founding members of
Deep Purple; earned him the title of Rock & Roll’s
greatest drummers of all time. It was Paice’s powerful
drumming that served as an important ingredient to
Deep Purple’s new harder-rocking direction in the
early seventies. The band has seen members come
and go for various reasons, but Ian Paice has always
been a staple in Deep Purple. He is the only founding
member of the band still performing with the group.
Ian himself once said “How do you keep ninety people
together with one stick? I’ve got two sticks and I can’t
keep five people together.”
Smoke on the Water
2 oz Angel’s Envy Bourbon
1/2 oz brown sugar syrup
2 dashes Peychaud’s Bitters
2 dashes coffee bitters
Pinch of Jack Daniels Single Barrel Whiskey
Get out your favorite mixing glass; pour in Angel’s
Envy Bourbon, brown sugar syrup, Peychaud’s
Bitters, and coffee bitters. Fill mixing glass with ice.
Stir virtuously until nicely chilled. Strain the chilled
cocktail into a decanter. Then you’re ready to smoke it
up! With a culinary smoke gun, pack in whiskey chips,
place the smoking tube into a decanter, then ignite
to fill decanter with heaven smoke. Swirl cocktail into
the decanter to infuse the smoke flavor throughout
the libation. Pour over an ice sphere while singing
the chorus to Smoke on the Water. Garnish with a
luxardo cherry and orange peel. Drink while listening
to Deep Purple’s Machine Head ‘72 album and let
the Space Truckin’ begin. Also, be sure to check out
Juliano hitting the skins sometime around town with
the amazing Mike Quick Band!
Ian Paice Photo source: DRUMMERWORLD
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ARTIST FEATURE
24
KELCIE McQUAID
By Bartholemew Betelguese III
The art of drawing has been around since prehistoric
men and women used charcoal leftover from fires to
create mosaics on the walls of caves.
It’s progressed very little over the years and many
artists have found ways to accentuate the drawings
they create. This month’s artist does just that. Taking
what is already interesting and unique drawings, she
then adds watercolors and paints to make each piece
of work more beautiful and vibrant. Her eye for brilliant
colors and placement has helped her become a staple
mark among other painters in her community. Here’s
a little more about this month’s artist and what makes
her so special.
Awarded “Best Emerging Artist 2015” in Broward/
Palm Beach New Times, Kelcie McQuaid is a
Professional Artist, Curator, and Founder of ShangriLa
Collective. McQuaid’s mixed-media paintings
challenge emotional and creative boundaries by
layering bold illustrative portraits with vibrant abstract
painting techniques.
As a curator, Kelcie connects emerging and midcareer
artists with a clear creative vision who seeks
to explore the human experience through multimedia
exhibits. McQuaid was an early champion of local
developing art districts such as Mass District and Fat
Village and has worked with many cultural entities
including Broward County’s Cultural Division, Fort
Lauderdale’s Museum of Art, Pompano Beach’s
Cultural Center, Coral Springs Museum of Art,
ArtServe and many others. She curated and project
managed “Open Canvas Project”. a massive public art
project for the City of Fort Lauderdale and ArtServe,
winning Best Non-Profit Collaboration of the Year. Her
influence can be seen and felt throughout the Tri-
County area, where she was born and raised.
Kelcie’s paintings are inspired by a balance of
feminine energy, vulnerability, strength, and struggle.
She is largely influenced by relationships from past
to present and how people and our relationships
can evolve, dissolve or transcend. Her art strives to
capture how perspectives change over time. As we
grow and age, we see things in different contexts.
With this in mind, she uses the layering of paint, ink,
and other media to express her personal growth and
power. Each time she picks up a brush, McQuaid
revisits the paintings as a stronger person and she
passes her development on to her works.
954.336.6617 - KelcieMcQuaid.com -
KelcieMcQuaid@gmail.com - Instagram.com/
kelciemcquaid - Facebook.com/KelcieMcQuaidArt
ARTIST FEATURE

ARTIST FEATURE
Mike Bloomfield:
A Blues
Tragedy
By Hank Harrison
26
I
first met Mike Bloomfield when the Grateful Dead
were cutting a test track for Tom Donahue’s
Autumn records at Pacific-High budding studio in
San Mateo; that would be about Fall of 1965. We
had a few hours scheduled but got bumped because
Bloomfield had to do a Budweiser commercial and
man was he pushy. We got a bad vibe there, but I
loved his blues synthesis, especially when he hooked
up with a whole bunch of my friends from Big Brother,
and the Charlatans. Years went by until I got to know
him better, up close and strung out.
Bloomfield was - what some critics would call - a triple
threat. Not just a blues man but a tyro in jazz and
even folk and country music. When he was in high
school, learning how to finger pick, he had a revelation
that translated those twang and slide techniques to
electric blues. Mike went full blown gospel on “His
Holy Modal Majesty” album but ends the track with
a tribute to John Coltrane, so I guess he fulfilled that
high school vision.
Bloomfield was born into a wealthy Jewish family on
Chicago’s north side but preferred music to the family
catering business. By the way, Mike’s father designed
those little ceramic creamers in the shape of a cow,
where the milk pours out of the cow’s nose… who
knew?
Becoming a Chicago blues devotee in high school
and spending most nights haunting Nelson Algren’s
south side blues clubs, the dives that employed
Frankie Machine, the drummer from The Man with the
Golden Arm, really brought out Mikes talent.
According to B.B. King, “The guys Bloomfield sat in
with early on knew this was not just another white
boy from Cicero, looking for jive thrills.” Among his
early supporters were Muddy Waters, Bob Dylan and
Buddy Guy. Michael was quoted in Blues Magazine
saying: “Black people suffer externally and Jewish
people suffer internally. The mutual suffering is the
fulcrum for the blues.” So I guess he knew early on,
what it meant when the Thrill Is Gone.
During those trips to the south side blues
clubs, Mike ran into Paul Butterfield and
one night Butterfield took Mike over to meet
Elvin Bishop, who ran his own club, the
27

Fickle Pickle. After that it didn’t take long for Mike to
be discovered on stage. Soon after that, Mike’s 6 foot
plus skinny hulk, his afro and constant gigging landed
him an audience with the legendary talent scout John
Hammond. John was a jazz producer at Columbia
(see Miles Davis Kinda Blue) and, although Columbia
wasn’t into Blues per se, Hammond signed Mike up
on first sight.
Bloomfield’s work on Butterfield’s debut album, and
the subsequent East-West raga trip, made it a best
seller and a tour de force. In San Francisco, people
were dancing to it for hours, specifically to East-
West’s thirteen-minute title track, an instrumental
combining elements of blues, jazz, psychedelic
rock, and the classical Indian raga. Undoubtedly,
Bloomfield’s solos were turning people on. The rumor
became legend that Mike created East-West after an
all-night acid trip, but a subsequent anthology of the
Butterfield band included a booklet denying this.
Bloomfield also gained recognition for his work with
Bob Dylan during Dylan’s first explorations into electric
music. In fact, Bloomfield’s sound was a
major part of Dylan’s controversial change
of style, especially on Highway 61 Revisited
and as Dylan’s electrified back-up band
28
at the 1965 Newport Folk Festival, which garnered
many disappointed boos from the folkies.
Mike eventually got burned out on touring and
decided to relocate to San Francisco, but at the same
time he was deeply moved to create his own group
which turned out to be the Electric Flag in 1967 with
two old Chicago buddies, organist Barry Goldberg
and the multi-talented Nick Gravenites, who had
already moved to San Francisco. In fact, around that
time, Nick’s sister Linda, became one of Janis Joplin’s
best friends and made sure Mike met the ladies of the
foggy city. Stylistically, the Electric Flag - complete
with a horn section - sounded great. The inclusion of
drummer Buddy Miles gave Bloomfield and all-star
doo-wop and R&B throb.
The Electric Flag debuted at the 1967 Monterey Pop
Festival. The most critically REAL track put out by
Electric Flag was, Fine Jung Thing, a still listenable
synthesis that was way ahead of its time. More
important to me was the use of this track in the Peter
Fonda and Susan Strasburg film, The Trip, which I
showed on Beta video to my crisis counselors to train
them to sense what an LSD trip was like. You can
laugh now, but It worked.
By now you’ve figured out that for part of my life I
functioned as an alternative or underground therapist,
a radical shrink and one of the things that turned me
off was watching my blues singer friends like Pig Pen
and Mike Bloomfield die… one small chunk at a time.
The Pig Pen saga is another story but Bloomfield’s
death spiral started for me at New York Kennedy TWA
terminal; you know, the bird shaped building.
September, 1979. I just landed a job with the Irish
Government, feeling pretty damn smug. I’m taking
the SFO bound United and I see this drunk hippy
staggering around in the boarding area giving an
airline official a bad time. Two stewardesses were
giving me the eye, suggesting I do something. They
were denying him boarding even though he had a first
class ticket. The reason? He was staggering drunk
and smelled awful.
I took another look… shit man… it was Mike
Bloomfield trying to get back to Frisco. W T F? Wait!
No! This can’t be happening… this is Mike Bloomfield.
I felt a stomach punch, not because it was Mike but
because this massive rock star was wandering around
in an airport as if somebody just dumped him out of
the back of a truck.
I talked to him, “Hey Mike, what’s up man? It’s Hank
Harrison” He looked up from his grog head. “Oh, l
know you right?”
“Yes Mike, you know me, remember hanging out with
Linda Gravenites? at Janis’ house?” “Oh yeah
good times man…”
I looked over at the boarding agent, both hands on
her hips. I knew what that meant. When women get
fed up with something they put their hands on their
hips and glower at you, I got the message… “DO
SOMETHING!” The radical shrink in me kicked in,
“Yes Mike, but are you going to be good?” … “These
people want us to sit together, or they’re calling the
feds.
Mike sez, “Oh man I gotta get back to the coast… I
got a gig.”
“Well let’s get on the plane now and behave
ourselves, OK?”
The hands went down from the hips and all heads
nodded. I thought to myself, “This is an interesting
development, who the fuck left this savant-genius in a
gangway at Kennedy?”
Wheels up! Mike is strapped in. I can smell him but
nobody else in the plane gets the picture. The United
stew set him up with a club soda in his hand. No
booze. I asked him if he had to make a visit to the
boys room, he says no, mainly because he already
pissed himself in the waiting area. Mike took that odd
moment to tell me that he had just finished a book
collaboration with R. CRUMB on his blues mentors
in Chicago, titled ME and BIG JOE… a reference to
Big Joe Williams. I was impressed. Then, magically
the engines droned him to sleep. He crashes out the
whole way and we get home after dark. I have a rental
waiting.
I drove him home to his Corte Madera pad, because
nobody met him at SFO. Another WTF? moment.
But the story doesn’t end here. I stayed in touch
with Mike for a couple of visits, he looked okay for a
while, but sinister forces were in the stew. I had to go
abroad for a sabbatical and I lost track of Mike. I did
my research, and I now know the secrets but I can’t
even whisper them here… you have to figure it out for
yourself.
Eleven o’clock Sunday morning, February 15th. 1981.
Mike Bloomfield, the guy who talked Dylan into rock
& roll, the guy who put Bollywood into the blues,
was found mysteriously dead, in a car seat on the
100 block of Ulloa street, near the corner of Laguna
Honda Blvd. … no note, no explanation. Mike had
a small funeral with Bill Graham and his ex-wife in
attendance at the Jewish Community center and
then his remains were shipped to Los Angeles, by
his family, where he lies in repose in a high class
memorial with a plaque to mark his tomb. That’s all.

CROSSWORDPUZZLE
1. What is the name of the iconic musician, Prince’s studio?
2. What does the pop trio’s name, ajr stand for?
3. What was the title of Jonny Lang’s hit song that he released at age 16?
4. What is the title of the movie that pays to tribute to the band, Depeche Mode?
5. What state was American guitarist, Joe Bonamassa born in?
Answers on page 35
6. What 2000s Disney Channel TV show was Miley Cyrus apart of?
7. How did Miley Cyrus get the name “Miley”?
8. What year did the pop band, Maroon 5 form?
9. What was hit Disney Channel TV show was Selena Gomez featured in?
10. What is the title of Harry Styles’ upcoming album being released in December?
30
Answers on page 34
Answers on page 35

I’m a big fan of holiday music. I know it gets played
out, but there’s so much to love about these unusual
seasonal tunes. Whether Christian based, holiday
centric, or weather oriented most contain unifying
elements of love, peace, comfort and joviality
accompanied by the jingling of bells, and happy
harmonies. Some even hold the promise of hope and
holy salvation. Isn’t it funny that these rollicking songs
blast the airwaves yearly, overwhelming the rest of
the competition for a while? It’s our one universal
soundtrack. As I listen all day long to Music Choice’s
Holiday hits, old and new, I’ve realized a few key
things about this strange genre my sisters and I get
to be a part of. Holiday Music is the great equalizer of
the music industry! It’s also an archive of the beautiful
and the bizarre. Here are some of my findings:
1 Any mainstream or
independent Artist can remake
any holiday song and
put their own stank on it! Take
“Santa Claus is Coming to
Town”. Listen to Bing Crosby
and The Andrews Sisters
original version, then listen
to Bruce Springsteen’s and
Mariah Carey’s take on it. All completely different,
all completely awesome and unique to each’s
artistry. Holiday music differs from other genres
because it actively encourages a wide variety of
cover opportunities. According to Spotify, the top 3
Christmas covers of all time are: #3 Jingle Bells, #2
White Christmas and coming in at #1 Silent Night
with 137,315 versions! I would’ve thought Santa Baby
was somewhere in the top 10, but no. It’s the most
played-out cover in my book. You have Eartha Kitt’s
original vs Madonna vs Gwen Stefani vs Kellie Pickler
vs Ariana Grande vs Rupaul...the list goes on. Eartha
obviously wins this Santa Baby sing off, but the mass
re-make-a-thon can quickly turn into a “Battle of the
Indistinguishables” real fast when you are listening to
the Holiday station for hours. If any of you can tell the
difference between Ashley Tisdale’s “Last Christmas”
and the cast of Glee’s version, you get a
candy cane!
32
2 Any artist can put out a
brand new seasonal song
and hope it goes on to
become a modern Holiday
Classic. Example, Mariah’s
“All I Want For Christmas is
You”, Lindsey Buckingham’s
“Holiday Road” and “Mary
Did You Know” by Michael English. Honorary mention
goes to the Beu Sisters for “Dear Santa” and “Home
for Christmas”, soon to be Christmas classics! (Btw
I saw one copy of Disney’s Jingle Jams available on
Amazon recently! Grab it while you can! They’re flying
off the...interwebs.)
3 Fun fact: With only a hint
of holiday instrumentation
and some seasonal-ish lyrics,
you may get lucky and have
your song added to that
much sought after holiday
rotation. For example, the
Beu Sisters “My Christmas
was in June”, “My Favorite Things” from The Sound of
Music, Franz Schubert’s “Ave Maria”, Joni Mitchell’s
emotionally evocative “The River” and Leonard
Cohen beautiful “Hallelujah”. All great songs, but not
technically Christmas songs.
4 Pretty terrible songscan
still be super successful
holiday hits and get tons of
airplay, bringing lots of good
cheer during this time of
year, as long as its kitschy
and Christmas-y enough!
For instance, “I want a
Hippopotamus for Christmas” and “All I Want for
Sounds of the Season
By Candice Beu
Christmas is my 2 Front Teeth” by Spike Jones (not
the filmmaker) or “I’m Gonna E-mail Santa” by Billy
Gillman and Rosie O’Donnell. There’s a treasure
trove of “so bad they’re just bad” hits such as Bob
Dylan’s “Must Be Santa”, “Funky Funky Christmas” by
NKOTB, Hilary Duff’s “Santa Claus Lane”, “Christmas
Cookies” by Rupaul, the truly awful “The Christmas
Shoes” by Newsong, and the now classic “Grandma
Got Run Over By a Reindeer” by Elmo & Patsy. At the
top of my list of terribly tasty holiday treats are two
internet sensations with their most amozzing holiday
hits: “Chanukah Fever” by Mama Doni and the big
winner...Jan Terri’s “Excuse My Christmas”. Give em
all a listen this season...I double dog dare ya.
5 All Artists of holiday
music (even independents)
are almost always
guaranteed airplay for
at least an entire month
straight. There also seems
to be no discrimination
between artists of today and
yesteryear in the rotation. With virtually no hierarchy,
all are welcome! Everyone gets a seat at the table.
This presents a great musical buffet we often neglect
to ingest in our everyday listening diets. Where else
can you hear little Aaron Carter played side by side
the Trans-Siberian Orchestra? Boyz II Men and The
Beu Sisters in the same lineup as John Lennon and
Paul McCartney...Johnny Mathis following NSync...
Donny Hathaway after Elvis...Frank Sinatra before
a Faith Hill song...Michael Buble’ and Mariah Carey
sharing the same platform as Monica Matocha! I only
heard of Ms. Matocha because of her rendition of
“Holiday Road”. Her seasonal single was released
independently on iTunes in 2011. How cool is that!
She’s out there! We’re out there! Elvis is still out there!
And we all somehow made it to the same banquet.
Nowhere on earth, except during the holidays, is this
kind of musical smorgasbord EVER available to the
listener. I’m not saying this is the best idea in the
world...I’m just pointing it out. It’s pretty weird but it’s
also pretty cool.
6 Artists of old arerevere
for a time on holiday stations,
giving us older kids a chance
to recall our sweetest
childhood memories. Where
once the smooth voices of
Perry Como, Andy Williams,
Bing Crosby, Johnny
Mathis, Frank Sinatra, and Robert Goulet sang to
us thru scratched albums, now crystalline mixes of
these crooners holiday tunes have been preserved
and shared with our kids (tho I still prefer those
gritty recordings). When did any of these recording
giants last get airplay? Well, like all of us, LAST
CHRISTMAS! (lol) Due to the holidays, most artists
who’ve been relegated to the back bins, or put out to
pasture get resurrected (like Jesus and Frosty) for a
brief moment, one magical month per year.
7 We can put on holiday
songs at home or in the car
with our kiddos present and
not worry much about what
their little ears are absorbing.
For the most part we’re
hearing upbeat, positive
songs with good messages
and clean lyrics. Wait...I take that back. There are
those racy exceptions like Indi artist Danielle Car’s
“Save Your Cookies For Me”. With lyrics like “Let me
jingle your bells, You can play with my elves”...it’s
pretty spicy but still not as questionable as the ever
controversial, creepy yet unabashedly catchy “Baby,
It’s Cold Outside”. If you listen closely, you’ll find that
Naughty Santa Songs have been hidden
in plain sight going WAY back. Dissect
the lyrics of Ella Fitzgerald’s “Santa Claus
Got Stuck in My Chimney”, “I saw Mommy
33

Kissing Santa Claus”, Elvis’s “Santa Claus is Back
in Town”, Clarence Carter’s “Back Door Santa”, the
jazzy “I’ve Got a Present for Santa” and yes, good ole
“Santa Baby” and you’ll see what I mean. I personally
don’t get the fascination with sexing Santa or coming
down chimneys but I find it endlessly fascinating
that so many songs have been written in this vein. It
makes me want to write a sexy Santa song, since we
all know sex obviously sells, even at Christmastime.
version of the Nutcracker with a twist by Fred Waring
and his Pennsylvanians. It is the BEST thing I’ve
ever heard. Conceived by arranger Harry Simeone,
it combines this classic score with charming lyrics
written by Waring. Absolutely brilliant, weird,
humorous and simply enchanting. You can find it on
YouTube and thank me later. The 1940’s harmony
style is done in such a dynamic way that my sisters
and I would love to replicate this sound on our own
Christmas album someday.
CROSSWORD
PUZZLE answers
8 Super depressing
Christmas songs are the
worst. Why make shit
worse for those who are
having a hard enough
time during the holidays?
Blue Christmas...skip...I’ll
be home for Christmas…
skip...”Please Come home for Christmas”, “Another
Lonely Christmas”, “Someday at Christmas”, “Where
Are You Christmas”…all hard passes! For some
reason there’s this trend of sad “story” songs going
around including Nat King Coles “The Little Boy that
Santa Forgot”, “Toyland” by Doris Day, Skip Ewing’s
“Christmas Carol”, Hermann Lammers “Faith In
Santa” and Newsongs “The (mfing) Christmas shoes”!
Who needs it? I don’t. Whenever any of these come
on, I flip the channel as quickly as if a Spike Jones
classic came on.
9 Everyone loves
some Cool Yule! If you
are a treasure hunter of
hidden holiday gems then
you’ll find lots buried on
movie soundtracks. Vince
Guaraldi’s A Charlie Brown
Christmas is full of them. Check out the Home Alone
Soundtracks, The Snowman (short animated film)
and Harry Potters Hogwarts Christmas music. These
are some of the best wintery instrumentals around.
The “Elf” Soundtrack has a stellar playlist too with an
unbeatable, jazzy Nutcracker Suite. It’s a standard
in our home, as is the original Nutcracker. “National
Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” soundtrack is great
and if you are an R&B fan then Chris Browns “This
Christmas” is up there too. One of my favorites is
not from a movie but a classical piece by Emile
Waldteufel called “The Skaters Waltz”. Written in
1882, it’s one of the most famous wintery pieces
around. My final prize for you seekers is a 1947
10 Final consensus:
Nobody likes “The Little
Drummer Boy”. Do you?
Most hated boy, most hated
Christmas song. Who let this
kid approach Jesus’s crib with
a snare drum anyway? It’s the
last thing Mary and Joseph
need, and according to the
Internet, it’s apparently the
last thing holiday listeners want. Nationally, this song
has been voted most likely to make you get up and
change the station. The plot of the song reminds me
of a Bad Luck Brian meme: Shows up to babies party
with no gift, plays “sick” drum solo, annoys everyone.
At first glance, it’s a long, boring song about excuses,
but as my mom pointed out, the boys gift was his
song and what a powerful message for musicians that
is. There is some controversy around who the actual
composers are. You’d think no one would want credit
for this turd but with 220 versions in 7 languages,
those royalties do add up.
Holiday music is like the Snowman, eventually it melts
away but it is sure to return again next year! So enjoy
it while it’s here. On a side note, I’d like to share with
you some news my sisters and I recieved, making
this season all the more merry and bright. We just
found out that our original song “Home for Christmas”
is the opening song in a Shannen Doherty and
Antonio Sabato Jr. holiday movie called “All I Want
For Christmas”! This is what I love about our job.
Sometimes you unexpectedly find out that a song you
wrote 15 years ago has been placed in a movie that’ll
get shown every holiday. Who doesn’t love a good
old fashioned cringe-worthy holiday film after all?!
They’re our favorite. This news has truly been the “gift
that keeps on giving”. It makes me smile every time
I think about it. The film was released internationally,
but here’s hoping for a US release date in the coming
season and tidings of comfort and joy for all of us this
holiday!
answers
1. What is the name of the iconic musician, Prince’s studio? Paisley Park
2. What does the pop trio’s name, ajr stand for? Adam, Jack, and Ryan
3. What was the title of Jonny Lang’s hit song that he released at age 16? “Lie to Me”
4. What is the title of the movie that pays to tribute to the band, Depeche Mode? Spirit of the Forest
5. What state was American guitarist, Joe Bonamassa born in? New York
6. What 2000s Disney Channel TV show was Miley Cyrus apart of? Hannah Montana
7. How did Miley Cyrus get the name “Miley”? Her parents nicknamed her “Smiley” as a child and this
was then shortened to “Miley”
8. What year did the pop band, Maroon 5 form? 1994
9. What was hit Disney Channel TV show was Selena Gomez featured in? Wizards of Waverly Place
10. What is the title of Harry Styles’ upcoming album being released in December? Fine Line
35

Behind the Mic: Riggs
95.7 the Hog, Daytona Beach
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to you all!
Before we screw the cap on this 2019, I thought I
would run through some of the superlatives of the
year. This compilation is purely my experience,
opinion and product of my spotty and selective
memory. Grab a pen and some Post-it notes and
play along at home if ‘ya like!
Top Pizzas
1) Mellow Mushroom Standard Pepperoni pie -
Their crust is unmatched. I’ve had this pizza in two
states and I can’t get enough.
2) Little Caesars Extra Most Best Thin Pep - Pop
this crispy, cheesy, meaty flavor bomb in your trap
and GO!
Best Beers I Tried For the First Time
1) Stone Brewing Scorpion Bowl IPA - this brew is a
magical elixir that will make love to your taste buds
while poppin a stinger in your dinger. Awesome
beer.
2) Lucky Scars Wild IPA - Hoptacular fruit notes
and packs a solid punch
Top Gaffes Of The Year
1) Crushing a titanic drive off the 14th tee box and
then being told by a former Super Bowl winner that
I hit the ball in the wrong direction
2) My haphazard fantasy football draft execution
3) Answering an unknown phone call
Fave Concerts
1) IRON MAIDEN - 1st night of tour leg, only Florida
show. Spectacular lights and sound, props and
setlist. Perfection
2) TOM MORELLO - He played hits from his career
to tracks a DJ played, commanded the stage
alone & crushed some Rage Against The Machine
classics. The crazed crowd reaction must’ve help
lead to the 2020 RATM reunion
3) DISTURBED - The Chitown Crew whipped
Orlando with a multimedia show that featured
crushing riffs, suicide prevention PSAs and a
burning piano. Loved it!
* Honorable Mention - WINGER - This Daytona
Bike Week show was tragically underpromoted and
underattended but these 4 high level musicians tore
through a hits set that did justice to a great sound
system… in the parking lot of a high school football
stadium.
36
Best Things Found In My Driveway
1) A Big-Ass Turtle
2) Cash ($1)
3) An untainted, wrapped Kit Kat
3) Wild Mike’s Ultimate Pepperoni - The freezer
delight was a MUST on every one of my WalMart
runs. But they mysteriously disappeared from the
shelves and now I can’t taste the magic of a great
flavorful pie and giggle at the best logo in the game.
R.I.P., Wild Mike.
Hardest Material Losses
1) 20-year old Nikes that, while clean and in good
condition, apparently lost glue consistency and fell
apart at the soles.
2) My KISS 1984 tour shirt to the goddamn squirrel
3) My 1st Gen 32Gig IPOD Classic - I’ve been told
it could be the battery and I’d love to have all those
tunes back, but going to the Apple Store sounds
terrifying.
Oddest Things I Saw In Parking Lots
1) A big black bird holding a full Ritz Cracker in its
beak and squawking loudly, as if to say “This one’s
MINE, bitches!”
2) An oil stain that was shaped like the Van Halen
logo
3) Pedestrian Indifference
3) Naturdays - Flamingos, Strawberry Lemonade
& Beer. Go ahead, TRY not to have fun with that
party in your mouth.
Most Awkward Social Moments
1) My altercation with the emotional support goat
on the flight to Cali
2) The wave back to the stranger who was not
waving at me to begin with
3) That part where I put my Bealls Outlet card in my
pocket instead of my debit card and had to do the
walk of shame back to the car, leaving the $78 of
items I didn’t know I needed stranded on the belt.
Things I’ve Shouted In Front Of My Kids
1) Hold on to the fuckin’ ball!
2) Why would you wash a shirt with a cat turd in the
pocket?!
3) You don’t have to be wearing pants to make
sense!
* Honorable Mention - Who tried to flush pizza
down the toilet?
Fave Celeb Interviews On The Morning HOG
1) George Foreman - What a complete delight the
champ was. I spent many nights shouting at Pay
Per View fights, hoping to see Big George KO a
bum. He has moved on from pitching the grill and
is now spokesman for a pain relief product. His
best line in our chat was “your grandkids don’t want
to play with you if you smell funny”.
2) Olivia Newton-John - Her hypnotic Aussie accent
is the best. But when I told her that her role in
GREASE was part of my “leap into manhood”, it got
a little weird.
3) Diedrich Bader - He is the perfect guest, is
hilarious, has great pipes, and gives up some “Rex
Kwon Do” upon request.
Thanks for taking time to read thru these in 2019!
I will try to make them compelling and awesome in
2020.
If not, they’ll just be stupid and fun. That’s a Win / Win !
Cheers! RIGGS
Catch RIGGS, GUY, & INTERN STEVE
The Morning HOG / 95.7 The HOG, Weekdays
5-10am & SATURDAY NIGHT LOUD 9-midnight
@saturdayloud on Twitter The Morning Hog on fb
riggs@957thehog.com
37

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons
TED NUGENT - “The Motorcity Madman”
in Daytona at the Peabody Auditorium
Ted Nugent, better known as “The Motor City Madman” came
with guns a-blazing to Daytona Beach’s Peabody Auditorium on
Wednesday, August 21st. Terrible Ted wasted no time in opening with
fan favorite “Stranglehold” to get the almost packed crowd buzzing for
more. Political views aside, the trio jammed through gems “Gonzo”,
“Paralyzed”, “Free For All” and of course radio play standard “Cat
Scratch Fever”, as well as other rarities like “Fred Bear “. The Nugg
ended the evening with the classic “Great White Buffalo” while throwing
in a great rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner. America Rules!
New School Album of the Month
Candlemass - THe door to doom
s
For their 12th studio album “The Door To Doom”, Swedish doom
metal band Candlemass enlisted the help of legendary Black Sabbath
guitarist Tony Lommi for a little guitar solo action. This 2019 Napalm
Records release also reunites the band with original vocalist Johan
Langquist (from 1986’s Epicus Doomicus Metallicus). The end result?
By far, their best album in years. Founding bassist Leif Edling’s
grimly dark songwriting brings back that doomy goodness that made
Candlemass one of that genre’s masters of doom perfection. Opening
track “Splendor Demon Majesty” brings that Sabbathian sound that
old school fans of metal will really appreciate. It’s business as usual
as Candlemass rips through “Under the Ocean” and then into Lommi’s
mid- song electrifying solo on “Astorolus - the Great Octopus”. In the
end, all eight explosive jams will leave you searching for the key to “The
Door Of Doom”.
Old School Album of the Month
Xentrix - Shattered existence
Xentrix’ debut “Shattered Existence” may not have been a
groundbreaking thrash metal album compared to other bands of the
late ‘80s, but what it did offer was perfect sounding riffs along with
melodic undertones that were precisely executed. Compared to other
Aay Area thrash bands like Testament (singer/guitarist Chris Astley’s
voice is similar to early Chuck Billy’s ), this 1989 Roadrunner Records
release helped shotgun them to the top ranks of the British euro-thrash
scene. For those who love old school thrash, “Shattered Existence” is a
must have. Songs “No Compromise”, “Crimes”, and “Dark Enemy” will
send you into post-Metallica ecstasy.
LIVE MUSIC
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New Smyrna Location
December 5 - Claire Vandiver
December 6 - The Evening Muze
December 7 - Gina Cuchetti
December 12 - The Cyclones
December 13 - Jay Paski
December 14 - Adam & Farley
December 19 - Chuck Morel
December 20 - Down River Duo
December 21 - Eddy Davis
December 26 - Clint & Layla
December 27 - Jonny Odis
December 28 - Hannah Wilson
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New Smyrna Beach 32168
(386) 410-4824
DOG FRIENDLY
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(407) 296-0609

DECEMBER
6 th BAD SANTA &
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ELVES
7 th SHINE & THE
SHAKERS
8 th ANNUAL
CHRISTMAS
PARTY/FOOD
DRIVE
13 th CHUCK MAGID
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15 th DR BACON
21 st RIES BROTHERS &
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28 th TRAE PIERCE &
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JANUARY
25 th ERIC HUTCHINSON
BEACHSIDE TAVERN
6 7
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21 28 31
FEBRUARY
6 th G. LOVE AND
SPECIAL SAUCE
8 th WEDNESDAY NIGHT
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24 th JOEY CAPE
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All Music starts at 9pm
1/25 2/6
2/24 2/29
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690 E. 3rd St. New Smyrna Beach, Fl www. BeachsideTavern.com