Uberheroes: New Tide

This comic has been written because of the numerous requests on our post surveys to
cover bereavement; with the help of a young man from the North West of the Province
we bring you his personal experiences of losing his Father.
Approximately 30,000 children per year in Northern Ireland are affected by the death of
someone close to them. 1 in 29 children have experienced the devastating loss of a parent
or sibling. If you are aged between 4-18 you can get the additional support you need to
enable you to work through your grief in your own time, your own way and in a safe place
by contacting Hope Again, a website designed by young people for young people
The death of a parent is a significant loss for children and the rest of the family.
We all grieve differently and this is a process that can sometimes be difficult to deal with
as we have to deal with the shock of our grief, numbness, guilt and anger. Many people
are confused and surprised at how emotions and feelings can appear when least expected.
Sometimes we feel unable to share our thoughts and feelings with others as they won’t
understand or may treat us differently. There is no one way for families to deal with grief
and loss when your Mum or Dad passes away and sometimes we are so scared of letting
anyone know how we are really feeling that we can hide ourselves away and become
isolated from our family and friends, which is the worst thing we can do. The best way to
help us come to an acceptance of our loss and to practically deal with our grief; a good
place to start is to keep talking with family and friends. Sometimes keeping some of your
parent’s possessions, gifts, cards in a memory box is a good idea. Sometimes we need to
have the help that only organisations can offer; giving us the advice we need to overcome
some of these issues.
Hope 4 Life is committed to working with schools on programmes that will positively help
our children and young people to have a healthy and hopeful life.
Remember to look on our back pages for the additional support services as there are
many organisations able to offer you the help you need.
We’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this, our eighth issue.
You can do this by visiting us at .
www.uberheroes.co.uk
This comic is not intended as a substitute for medical advice of physicians. The reader should regularly
consult their GP in matters relating to his/her health and particularly with respect to any symptoms that
may require clinical diagnosis or medical attention.
Cover & Illustration by Cormac Hughes Copyright© 2017 by Uberheroes®
Cover design by Danny McLaughlin Copyright© 2017 by Uberheroes®
Comic editing by Danny McLaughlin & Dee Nixon Copyright© 2017 by Uberheroes®
Comic writing by Danny McLaughlin & Dee Nixon Copyright© 2017 by Uberheroes®
Copyright © 2017 by Uberheroes® owner Dee Nixon
All rights reserved. This comic or any portion thereof
may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever
without the express written permission of the publisher
except for the use of brief quotations in a comic review.
Printed in Northern Ireland. First Printing, June 2017
Hope 4 Life NI
North City Business Centre
Units 1,2 & 5
2 Duncairn Gardens
Belfast BT15 2GG
www.Uberheroes.co.uk

My dad
works in a
factory…
Oh that’s
exciting…
Uhh…
And what
does your
Daddy do,
Darren?
Uhhmm…
ahhmm…
…my daddy
is a bus
driver…
This was the
beginning of
my journey…
But…

6 Months Earlier...
Darren, I
don’t know
how to tell you
this but...
At the time it was so
confusing. It didn’t feel real.
It was like waiting for my
Daddy to open his eyes and the
whole nightmare to be over...
But that didn’t
happen…
I didn’t realise how much I
would miss him and the pain
that would come with that…

Ashes
to ashes…
dust to
dust…
People came up to
pay their respects
and offer their
condolences…
All I remember
is the sound of
everyone crying.
I remember not raising my head because
I didn’t want anyone to see my tears as
I cried for my Daddy as he was lowered
into the ground.
People where there to
say goodbye – but I didn’t
want to say goodbye!
It was too hard to say
goodbye while waiting for
things to go back to normal.
It just got harder… It hurt
all the more, when everyone
in the family started to act like
everything was normal, this was
when I felt lonelier than ever
It’s
begun…

When I was on my own,
that’s when my mind would
wander to thoughts of…
…these thoughts lead to a sort
of bargaining… asking how I
could have prevented it all!
I would remember the little
things – like my Daddy used to
drive me to school… but not
anymore as he’s gone…
His dad
died…
I couldn’t help but remember
those words that tore through
my mind and changed my whole
world forever…
I started to remember
more moments but one
stood out the most…
Just before he died, I didn’t
realise what was going on, but
my Daddy used to give me long
and lingering hugs…
…Extra tight
bear hugs!
It’s strange how even
the happy memories
also made me sad...

6 Months later...
And what
does your
Daddy do,
Darren?
Uhhmm...
…my daddy
is a bus
driver…
Some time had passed
but it never got any
easier to talk about…
Instead of talking about what
had happened it was easier to
pretend nothing had happened –
I used to pretend he was still
alive so I wouldn’t have to
think about it or deal with it…
It made me feel anxious and sad
and it stole any motivation I
might have had to do anything…
but all I did was to cover it up!
It was hard to cover up
my resentment towards
other children’s’ parents.
You’re the
best dad!
I hated that My Dad had
been taken from Me… this
made me really angry, I
was angry at everything…
Good work
team, we are
having the desired
effect on him,
soon we shall
destroy any hope
this little boy
ever had…
Things got tough… at home I was
alone. Maybe everyone was handling
daddy’s death in their own ways?
School was tough too. The only
thing I had was the memory of my
daddy giving me those hugs…
...extra tight!
We have him
isolating himself,
depressed, and full of
anger and hate! We keep
him in this process and
he will never heal!!

I remember I felt all alone
even when I was with my family
or even with my friends!
We never talked about
how we felt. The grief
was obviously
affecting all of us…
Any distraction we could
find was used to not think or
talk about the void left by
my father’s death… we were
doing this to ourselves…
Is
everything
okay at
home?
Yeah…
suppose
so, aye it’s
okay…
But one day a teacher began
to ask questions. At first I
was uncomfortable but having
someone talk with me helped
me to see that I wasn’t talking
about my father…
Hi Uberheroes. I want you to
look into something. This is a
young boy called Darren; he
recently lost his father and is
lacking any support.
He seems not to be able
to begin the process of
healing and accepting
that his father has died.
I think we may have some of
the usual suspects working on
this boy… I need you to look
into this and see what Villains
are ganging up on him?
We’re
on it,
Q!

Great
shot,
Darren!!
The teacher also coached the
football team and knew I used
to play football before my dad
died… before all my motivation
was zapped from me…
Your
dad liked
football?
Yeah – he
loved watching the
world cup, I remember
sitting beside him and
watching every
match on TV…
He talked to me about
my dad because I told
him once my father
liked football…
Right off
you go to get
changed or
you’ll be
late…
Darren,
c’mon – let’s
go!!
He helped me get motivated
again, and to begin to talk
about my dad in a way that never
felt painful… he helped me to
remember the good memories…
Focusing on the good memories,
especially the funny ones, made me
smile again, it made it easier to break
the ice on talking about my dad, even
with my family… it felt really good!
Remember
that time Da
fell into the
swimming
pool?
Nooo!!
Nooo!!
Nooo!!

I even became so strong emotionally that I
was able to talk to other friends about their
relationship with their parents. A good friend
told me about some trouble with their father…
as if his relationship had become non-existent…
Starting to learn to talk
about my Dad was like a
pressure valve releasing
in my head as this seemed
to help the tensions that
previously were there.
We never
really talk and if we
do actually try to talk
all we ever end up
doing is fighting…
You know
you’re still
very lucky?
You have the
chance to turn it all around
and have a good relationship
with your Dad! I wish I still had
my Dad, any relationship at all,
just to have him in my life… I’m
actually really jealous that
you still have your dad…
My reasoning with my
friend helped him build a
better relationship with
their Dad – better than
they would ever have
expected!
Helping others talk about
their issues made me feel
good; it helped me talk about
it all too… I still miss him …
very much… but I choose to
remember the good times.
You should
talk to him ya know?
You know you still love him,
so before you do anything
else go and make peace
with him…
We were
winning!
What has
happened?? He’s
moved on – that
wasn’t supposed
to happen!!
Our ally in
bringing down
this young
boy…
Technopath!!
Looking
forward to injecting
some malware into
darrens life!
I think those
nasty Uberheroes are
behind all this! Maybe we
need a new angle on this…
I’ve invited another friend
along to join us in our
cause…

Things were going
okay now for a while…
I had my motivation back; I didn’t
feel as anxious or as sad...
like those forces had
taken a step back…
…I began to heal… I felt
stronger and happier and…
Now,
Technopath!!
Let’s do
this!
That image – I wasn’t
prepared to see that image
of my dad and me…
...??...
Just when I was
feeling better...

Thats when it got
so much worse...

…It just seemed like all the
progress I’d made had just
slipped away, the rug was
pulled from under me and I
felt like I was falling…
I wasn’t prepared for that -
the image had been a massive
trigger flooding me with painful
thoughts and emotions…
I felt like I was drowning and that
a huge force was pulling me under
and I wasn’t able to break free!
Where is
Darren?
He’s off
again…
The whole thing stopped me in
my tracks. I stopped going to
school. I stopped going
training… I pretended to be
sick just so I didn’t have to
go out or face anyone…
I didn’t know what to do…
I couldn’t talk about my
feelings because I didn’t know
what to say… It felt useless.
Somethings
seriously wrong –
have you fully
investigated all the
villains in this
case?
Yes, he
seems to have
defeated Lamenter’s
attempts to stop
him grieving.
Well it looks
like they’re back
at it again…
Leave
it with us,
Q!

along with the depression
came bitterness and
anger, especially seeing
other people happy…
And when I wasn’t angry I felt as if life
was pulling me along, I wasn’t in control…
it was as if I was in autopilot…
…It was like I didn’t have the capacity to
even miss my dad anymore… I just didn’t
want to think about him or the pain this
caused as it felt like my heart was being
ripped out… I didn’t want to feel anything
anymore because it was ALL pain…
Darren –
is everything
okay?
My name
is...
Hello!
Veritas..!!
Yes I’m
veritas... And
this is...
We’ve
been asked to
look into what’s
happening with
there
you…
are people
who are really
concerned
about you…
you’re the
uberheroes!!
Wow!!
I know so
much about
you!
What are
you doing
here?
And we
believe you
need our
hel p…
evil beings
are making you
feel worse than
you should…
they’re
making sure you
never heal!

Heal? But…
but I’m not
sick…
I’ve just
been taking
some time off
school…
because,
well
because…
It’s
okay…
We know
it’s tough to
lose someone
you love.
We know
you are
grieving for
your Dad!
Grieving for Dad?
How can I still be
grieving? He passed
away a few years
ago now…
You
actually
never
stopped!
The whole
process of
grieving and
healing happens
in different
stages…
Yes – you
may know some
of them… such
as…
DENIAL
BARGAINING
ANGER
Depression
Have I been
through all that?
I’ve felt the
rollercoaster
of all those
stages…
what did
you call it..?
the process
of grief?
am I
over it
then?
What’s
after the
next stage?

…ACCEPTANCE!
But until we
help you, you’ll
never get
there!
it’s
not that
simple...
I’m going
to make sure I keep
you in a cycle of
denial, anger and
depression …
forever!!
LAMENTeR!
there
you are… We
knew it could
only be you
Lamenter…
And of
course, Relicta
and Saboteur…
And
Technopath!
Oh so you’re a new
recruit to this
campaign!?
And
invaluable into
bringing Darren
down,
if I
do say so
myself!
Well
that’s all about
to change!

You see, Darren!
The truth is Lamenter
has been hiding the truth
from you too; he wanted
to keep you locked in
the cycle of grief…
You
can’t stop us,
Uberheroes!!
We are
in control
of Darren
now…
He hides
the importance and
healing benefits of
remembering all the good
memories of your Dad…
But you did nothing
to cause this!
Now, Darren,
SEE THE
TRUTH!
and
in doing
so...
the love your
Mum and Dad had for
each other and for you,
remember the care they
had for you and
still do…
remember the
special place you have
in their hearts, how this
made you feel and
hold onto this!
Wow!
We must
defeat these
villains...
Veritas
is right…
Yeah, to
show strength
to keep you going,
making positive
choices, and…
And you
must focus on
the positive future
that you have in
front of you,
you have so
much life yet to
live; although your
father has passed
away,
you still
need to accept
that your Dad would
have wanted you to
live your life to
the full…
and being
physically and
emotionally strong
so you can bounce
back…
knowing
what your triggers
look like and what you
need to do to help you
cope should they
happen again...
...which
they will!

I agree,
fortress!
…taking
care of yourself
physically,
emotionally and
mentally will
help you...
you must
understand being
strong is a positive,
emotional strength
is something that
empowers you to
move forward…
It’s called
resilience and
you need this big
time!
we all
do!!
help you
to keep pushing
forward towards
a Hope filled
future!
I never
signed up
for this...
I’m
Logging
Off!!
Yes these
Villains have been
holding you back
from healing…
keeping you
from the final
stage of the
process…
...Acceptance!!
These were
the beings that
have been… ah...
haunting me?
Keeping
me depressed
and feeling
lonely?
But grief
is different for
everyone, how you
process this
takes time!
and
some people
heal quicker
than others!
but
that’s
okay…
Ha, you can’t
defeat me!
Take that,
Relicta!

Moving
forward, it’s best
to talk with your
family and close friends
or someone who
you trust and
respect.
You need
to keep yourself
physically and
mentally active.
do the
things you love
to do and don’t feel
guilty about how
much happiness
they bring.
Being
intelligent
and making wise
choices is part
but you
of the healing
also have to
process too,
understand that
none of this was
your fault;
there
was nothing
you could have
done to change the
circumstances
of your Dad’s
death,
But…
BUT??
We’re here
to support you,
but the truth
is...
we can’t
do it for
you…
Ha, you can’t
defeat me!
Yes I see
the truth and now
with your support…
I can finally face
my grief!
You have
to overcome grief,
and the best way to
do this is with Truth,
Strength, Resilience,
Intelligence
..and Hope... And you
know I’m right as
I can only speak
the Truth!
I’m not
afraid of
you!
Yeah, We
know you feed off
Darren’s pain, making
him only see the
negatives. but we’re He’s now
here now… aware of the
truth, seeing all
the positive things
in his life…

Knowing the truth and knowing that
the Uberheroes were supporting me
helped me have the courage to face
my fears and move forward.
You lost
your Father…
you are angry and
saddened...
You aren’t
strong enough
to defeat me...
Give me
that!!
I’ve had
enough!
I know that he lied, I
knew that the truth was
that I could defeat him…
They’re
all gone for
now!!
You did it…
Well done!
but we will
be here with you,
on the journey
towards a happier
future...
without any
interference
from unwanted
guests!

But there’s
still the road
that will need
travelled towards
acceptance.
We better
get off to the
match – we don’t
want to be
late!
I was happy now,
I didn’t wish for or
try and think how
things could be
different like I had
before! I’d finally
overcome my anger
and need for
bargaining!
I’d been on quite a journey and although I had still
some way to go I knew that I’d broken their hold on
me; I wanted to talk about Dad, sharing those stories
that meant so much of him was still part of me
Lets
Go!
I’d overcome so many negative thoughts and emotions,
it wasn’t an easy journey, but I knew that until my focus
changed from negative thoughts to positive ones would
life improve. I started talking again to my friends and
this really helped me to get back on track.
I’m better prepared for life’s triggers,
and the love and support our family has
for each other makes us stronger!
It would
have been your
Dad’s birthday
today…
Happy
birthday,
Daddy!!
It’s not a quick fix and it does take time but the more you work
through the process the better it becomes. The loss never fully
disappears, but then neither do the wonderful memories either!!
Well I
couldn’t have done
it alone! I have to
thank my family and
friends… and of
course you guys
too!!
Thank you
so much!!
Grieving
isn’t easy...
but you did
the right thing
in reaching out to
others to talk through
your worries and
concerns.
This has
helped you become
more resilient and
has protected your
wellbeing!
You are very
welcome, and
remember if you ever
need us in the
future, we’re never
too far away!

I realise that I’ve come through such a lot, and that
now I have peace in my heart, I can look back and
remember my father without sadness or pain anymore.
In fact, it
helps me now!
– I’ve now
been accepted into
my course at Uni, oh and
everyone loves the girl
I’m now dating… she’s
really lovely!
Oh and
more importantly
I scored the winning
goal last week against
our old rivals!
Result!!!
you’d
have been
so proud
of me, dad!
Things are
getting better
now, but it was
very tough for
a while,
but I
had help
from some
friends…
they helped
me through
some tough
times… they
helped me
remember
you…
the way I
wanted to before but
couldn’t as I wasn’t
emotionally strong
enough,
now I
am able to
talk about you
to anyone and
to chat to
you…
to say
the things
I want to
say…
I love
you… I will never
forget you Daddy,
it’s the memory of
you that makes me
stay strong.
I didn’t
understand it
all at the time
but I understand
it now…
I know
you loved me
and nothing can
or ever will
change that…
Sending
you big hugs,
Dad…
...Extra
tight!
...The End.

Further information
Like the characters in the comic you may feel that these stories have connected with you, or
that the content of the stories has given you a lot to think about!
You might want to know more about what help is available, or maybe you’re concerned
about a friend and want to know what practical help you can offer. Alternatively you might
want to speak to your parents or guardians but you’re nervous about how they might react.
The Uberheroes comic is a great stepping-stone to start these conversations with an adult
you trust about your fears, worries or concerns.
Whatever the situation, listed below are some of the many resources available in
Northern Ireland, Ireland and the UK :-
Support Services
Hope 4 Life NI – www.hope4lifeni.org.uk
Mental Health & Wellbeing programmes for Children, Young People and Adults
“Ask an Uberhero a Question” via our website - www.uberheroes.co.uk
“Ask an Uberhero a question” is our online support service for you to
connect with one of our team if you are worried or concerned about
anything; this is a great way to ask our heroes for their advice and support.
Helpline Numbers
Young Cruse
Bereavement care for children and
young people aged 4 to 18 years of age,
Hope Again is a dedicated website designed
by young people for young people,
or you can contact Young Cruse on
their free phone helpline: 0808 808 1677.
PIPS
For 1-2-1 Counselling Call 028 9080 5850
Helpline number call 0800 088 6042
Email: info@pipscharity.com
Call in for a chat – 281 Antrim Road,
Belfast, BT15 2HE
Childline
For 1-2-1 Counselling Call: 0800 1111
For info and advice go to:
www.childline.org.uk
Samaritans
Samaritans helpline Call: 0845 790 9090
Helpline Email: jo@samaritans.org
NSPCC
24 hour Child Protection Helpline Call:
0808 800 5000
Lifeline
Free Phone Lifeline: Call 0808 808 8000
Helpline Email: www.lifelinehelplineinfo.com
Talking to your friends, members of your family and teachers can help you start to better understand
what you’re going through; you may be surprised to find that others have had similar experiences and
are willing to share their experiences with you. Your friends or family may know of someone who they
trust, who would be willing to listen and offer you safe advice, having external support will help you to
see you’re not alone in thinking or feeling the way you do, it will also help rebuild your confidence,
self-belief and self-worth, which is the first step in healing and recovery.
Come follow us on our social media sites too...
UberheroesNI
www.uberheroes.co.uk

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