Angelus News | October 25, 2019 | Vol. 4 No. 36

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VICTOR ALEMÁN At-need funeral counselor Sunny Smith says constant prayer is key to her job. Embalming is surgical. Blood and other bodily fluids are removed to be replaced with formaldehyde-based chemical solutions. If the body has minimal complications, the whole embalming process takes about two hours. But for those who died from different traumas, like car accidents, gunshots, and drowning, it can be much longer, ranging anywhere from five hours to days. Often, accidental deaths bring up the question of a public or private viewing. When a body comes in with severe trauma, workers at the care center do a head-to-toe assessment of its condition. A report is written up for the funeral counselor before he or she meets with the family. Sometimes it reads, “Viewing not recommended.” But if the family is adamant about seeing the deceased one last time, they must sign a waiver. “We do everything we can to try to make them look the best we can,” she said. “Sometimes we’ll just have the hands showing. If there’s nothing we can do, the family can come in and hold their hand. What I recommend and tell counselors is that perhaps you have one chosen family member to go in and see them first. And they make the determination whether the rest of the family should view.” Sault has been at All Souls since 2001, and said she has no plans of changing careers. “It’s very rewarding,” said the embalmer and manager. “And I’m really glad that I do what I do.” “My job is to try to make what’s probably your worst day in life the easiest,” said Sunny Smith, an at-need funeral counselor at All Souls. “That’s how I look at it, because I don’t want anyone to feel like I’m just business. I want you to know that I care about you, and I care about who you just lost. Once I gain that relationship, everything just flows. And, really, it’s honestly day by day, case by case.” The counselor usually meets with three or four families every workday, sometimes five during busy periods. She makes all the arrangements, including going over pricing, selecting the casket or urn, designing the headstone, as well as preparation for interment. A lot of her time is spent just listening to families share memories about their dead relative. “You connect with these people, and they let you into their lives, and you cherish it,” Smith said. “I know this was one of the worst days in their life. I know that, and I want to make them laugh if I can. That’s my way to help them get through it. For me — without sounding silly — I do think that God has given me the gift of empathy and humor. I don’t know, but it seems to work.” Not all the time, however. A baby’s or child’s death can be especially devastating to a family, with the mother or father simply shutting down, not wanting to talk to anybody. Gang funerals can be especially hard to break through to parents, who are grieving and angry at the same time. Smith said part of the job is making the family understand that she’s not judging them for their tattoos, lack of money, or limited English. In short, gaining their trust. Like the other workers Angelus News spoke to, Smith believes there’s a fundamental difference between Catholic cemeteries and secular ones. “There’s a sacred, spiritual aspect that exists, and people know that,” she said. “They feel more comfortable when the place involves their faith. And you don’t even have to be Catholic. You just have to have a Catholic connection like a husband or wife. We would never separate them. “Before I walk into a room and know it’s a really tragic case like a child, I pray to have the right words to say,” she added. “And it’s intimidating to walk into a room like that. Here I am, a stranger. And I’m going to start charging them for this and that, which we have to do, but you can do it in a certain way. I’m able to absorb their emotion. That’s the empathy part, which is wonderful sometimes and horrible other times.” Smith emphasized that the most fundamental part of her job is praying. “I’m constantly praying because I need faith and strength to get me through every day. And I’m always praying for the families. Always. ‘Jesus, take care of the mom whose baby died. She’s not making it. She needs you.’ I’ll say that in my head, and I’ve seen it work.” R.W. Dellinger is the features editor of Angelus. 18 • ANGELUS • October 25, 2019
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Angelus News | October 25, 2019 | Vol. 4 No. 36

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