Angelus News | October 25, 2019 | Vol. 4 No. 36

VICTOR ALEMÁN
At-need funeral counselor Sunny Smith says constant prayer is key to her job.
Embalming is surgical. Blood and
other bodily fluids are removed to be
replaced with formaldehyde-based
chemical solutions. If the body has
minimal complications, the whole
embalming process takes about two
hours.
But for those who died from different
traumas, like car accidents, gunshots,
and drowning, it can be much longer,
ranging anywhere from five hours to
days.
Often, accidental deaths bring up
the question of a public or private
viewing.
When a body comes in with severe
trauma, workers at the care center do
a head-to-toe assessment of its condition.
A report is written up for the
funeral counselor before he or she
meets with the family. Sometimes it
reads, “Viewing not recommended.”
But if the family is adamant about
seeing the deceased one last time,
they must sign a waiver.
“We do everything we can to try to
make them look the best we can,” she
said.
“Sometimes we’ll just have the hands
showing. If there’s nothing we can do,
the family can come in and hold their
hand. What I recommend and tell
counselors is that perhaps you have
one chosen family member to go in
and see them first. And they make the
determination whether the rest of the
family should view.”
Sault has been at All Souls since
2001, and said she has no plans of
changing careers. “It’s very rewarding,”
said the embalmer and manager.
“And I’m really glad that I do what I
do.”
“My job is to try to make
what’s probably your
worst day in life the
easiest,” said Sunny Smith, an at-need
funeral counselor at All Souls. “That’s
how I look at it, because I don’t want
anyone to feel like I’m just business.
I want you to know that I care about
you, and I care about who you just
lost. Once I gain that relationship,
everything just flows. And, really, it’s
honestly day by day, case by case.”
The counselor usually meets with
three or four families every workday,
sometimes five during busy periods.
She makes all the arrangements,
including going over pricing, selecting
the casket or urn, designing the
headstone, as well as preparation for
interment. A lot of her time is spent
just listening to families share memories
about their dead relative.
“You connect with these people, and
they let you into their lives, and you
cherish it,” Smith said. “I know this
was one of the worst days in their life.
I know that, and I want to make them
laugh if I can. That’s my way to help
them get through it. For me — without
sounding silly — I do think that
God has given me the gift of empathy
and humor. I don’t know, but it seems
to work.”
Not all the time, however. A baby’s
or child’s death can be especially devastating
to a family, with the mother
or father simply shutting down, not
wanting to talk to anybody.
Gang funerals can be especially hard
to break through to parents, who are
grieving and angry at the same time.
Smith said part of the job is making
the family understand that she’s not
judging them for their tattoos, lack of
money, or limited English. In short,
gaining their trust.
Like the other workers Angelus News
spoke to, Smith believes there’s a fundamental
difference between Catholic
cemeteries and secular ones.
“There’s a sacred, spiritual aspect
that exists, and people know that,” she
said. “They feel more comfortable
when the place involves their faith.
And you don’t even have to be Catholic.
You just have to have a Catholic
connection like a husband or wife.
We would never separate them.
“Before I walk into a room and know
it’s a really tragic case like a child, I
pray to have the right words to say,”
she added.
“And it’s intimidating to walk into a
room like that. Here I am, a stranger.
And I’m going to start charging them
for this and that, which we have to do,
but you can do it in a certain way. I’m
able to absorb their emotion. That’s
the empathy part, which is wonderful
sometimes and horrible other times.”
Smith emphasized that the most fundamental
part of her job is praying.
“I’m constantly praying because
I need faith and strength to get me
through every day. And I’m always
praying for the families. Always. ‘Jesus,
take care of the mom whose baby
died. She’s not making it. She needs
you.’ I’ll say that in my head, and I’ve
seen it work.”
R.W. Dellinger is the features editor
of Angelus.
18 • ANGELUS • October 25, 2019