Counsels for the Church - Ellen G. White

parents' word should be implicitly obeyed.
Unsteadiness in family government is productive of great harm, in fact is
nearly as bad as no government at all. The question is often asked, Why are
the children of religious parents so often headstrong, defiant, and rebellious?
The reason is to be found in the home training.
If parents do not agree, let them absent themselves from the presence of
their children until an understanding can be arrived at.
If parents are united in this work of discipline, the child will understand
what is required of him. But if the father, by word or look, shows that he
does not approve of the discipline the mother gives; if he feels that she is too
strict and thinks that he must make up for the harshness by petting and
indulgence, the child will be ruined. He will soon learn that he can do as he
pleases. Parents who commit this sin against their children are accountable
for the ruin of their souls.
Parents should first learn to control themselves, then they can more
successfully control their children. Every time they lose self-control, and
speak and act impatiently, they sin against God. They should first reason
with their children, clearly point out their wrongs, show them their sin, and
impress upon them that they have not only sinned against their parents, but
against God. With your own heart subdued and full of pity and sorrow for
your erring children, pray with them before correcting them. Then your
correction will not cause your children to hate you. They will love you. They
will see that you do not punish them because they have put you to
inconvenience, or because you wish to vent your displeasure upon them; but
from a sense of duty, for their good, that they may not be left to grow up in
sin.
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