Counsels for the Church - Ellen G. White

It is not pure, holy love which leads the wife to gratify the animal
propensities of her husband at the expense of health and life. If she possesses
true love and wisdom, she will seek to divert his mind from the gratification
of lustful passions to high and spiritual themes by dwelling upon interesting
spiritual subjects. It may be necessary to humbly and affectionately urge,
even at the risk of his displeasure, that she cannot debase her body by
yielding to sexual excess. She should, in a tender, kind manner, remind him
that God has the first and highest claim upon her entire being, and that she
cannot disregard this claim, for she will be held accountable in the great day
of God.
If she will elevate her affections, and in sanctification and honor
preserve her refined, womanly dignity, woman can do much by her judicious
influence to sanctify her husband, and thus fulfill her high mission. In so
doing she can save both her husband and herself, thus performing a double
work. In this matter, so delicate and so difficult to manage, much wisdom
and patience are necessary, as well as moral courage and fortitude. Strength
and grace can be found in prayer. Sincere love is to be the ruling principle of
the heart. Love to God and love to the husband can alone be the right ground
of action.
When the wife yields her body and mind to the control of her husband,
being passive to his will in all things, sacrificing her conscience, her dignity,
and even her identity, she loses the opportunity of exerting that mighty
influence for good which she should possess to elevate her husband. She
could soften his stern nature, and her sanctifying influence could be exerted
in a manner to refine and purify, leading him to strive earnestly to govern his
passions and be more spiritually minded, that they might be partakers
together of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the
world through lust. The power of influence can be great to lead the mind to
high and noble themes, above the low, sensual indulgences for which the
heart unrenewed by grace naturally seeks. If the wife feels that in order to
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