Counsels for the Church - Ellen G. White

careful study to the following instruction: Wives, submit yourselves unto
your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the
wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.... Therefore as the church is
subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave
Himself for it." Colossians 3:12; Ephesians 5:2, 22-25.
Marriage, a union for life, is a symbol of the union between Christ and
His church. The spirit that Christ manifests toward the church is the spirit
that husband and wife are to manifest toward each other.
Neither husband nor wife is to make a plea for rulership. The Lord has
laid down the principle that is to guide in this matter. The husband is to
cherish his wife as Christ cherishes the church. And the wife is to respect and
love her husband. Both are to cultivate the spirit of kindness, being
determined never to grieve or injure the other.
My brother and sister, both of you have strong will power. You may
make this power a great blessing or a great curse to yourselves and to those
with whom you come in contact. Do not try to compel each other to do as
you wish. You cannot do this and retain each other's love. Manifestations of
self-will destroy the peace and happiness of the home. Let not your married
life be one of contention. If you do you will both be unhappy. Be kind in
speech and gentle in action, giving up your own wishes. Watch well your
words, for they have a powerful influence for good or for ill. Allow no
sharpness to come into your voices. Bring into your united life the fragrance
of Christ-likeness.
Before a man enters a union as close as the marriage relation, he should
learn how to control himself and how to deal with others.
My brother, be kind, patient, forbearing. Remember that your wife
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