Grrrl Couch Vol. #6: Love & Sex

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ENJOY.
ENJOY.
ENJOY.
ENJOY.
ENJOY.
ENJOY.
ENJOY.
ENJOY.
ENJOY.
ENJOY.
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CONTENTS
ARTICLES & POETRY
HYPERSEXUALITY…………………………….………………………...…….6
D DO YOU HAVE SPS?..................................................................14
RETROUVALLES…………….………………………………………...………20
FAREWELL……………………...………………………………………………28
HOW POSTING MY NUDES LEAD ME TO DEEPER SELF
LOVE…………………………………………………..…..………………………..30
ART & PHOTOGRAPHY
STOGINATRIX…………………………………………………..……………….8
THE FIRST THING……………………………………………...……..…….10
CUPID………………………………………………………….…………………12
CONSENT IS KEY…………………………………………..…………..……20
CRAVINGS……………………………………………….……………………....22
LET’S TALK…………………………………………………………...…………..26
A KISS IN THE BACK SEAT………………………….……...…………....32
M
PLAYLIST
LET’S GET TOASTY……………………………………...………….……….34
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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR:
Thanks for taking the
time to pick up this zine. It’s
been a minute since I
released another zine, and
since then I’ve moved off the
island, started college, broke
my laptop, and a million
other excuses for not having
released something sooner.
But Grrrl Couch Vol. 6 is
here, and she’s ready to
party.
All pages are written,
edited, and photographed by
me, unless stated otherwise.
I’m trying to include more
and more submissions on
each issue, so don’t be afraid
to reach out over Instagram,
email, anything. I would love
to include your work in the
next zine.
Xoxo,
Ruby Rañoa
AND ALOHA TO…
CONTRIBUTORS:
MC Kane
Quirk
Phil Kam
Hannah Siddiqui
Vincert Bercasio
Sophia Marie
Sam Herrera (IG:
@_satanswifey)
Ellee Wood (IG:
@definellee)
Laurel (IG:
@flaurelise )
Danielle
Kira Rosen
Liam Lawless
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White feminism, especially
found online, has focused so much
on hypersexuality as
“empowerment.” What’s really sad
is that this deeply affects young
girls, putting them into situations
they believe will be “empowering”
when really, I’ve only began to
process these experiences years
later.
I was young and naive and took on
this idea too quickly. I had sex
when I didn’t actually want to and
wasn’t mentally ready to. I wasn’t
actually enjoying it, I was using it
as a method of self harm in a way.
Our culture gives us no
choice, either you’re a
“prude” or you’re
hypersexual.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely
love sex. I think reclaiming your
sexuality and feeling comfortable
in it is vital, especially if you were
raised as a woman in our culture.
The issue is here that I thought
being hypersexual would be an act
of “reclaiming my sexuality”
because of what I read online,
when really, in my experience, it
was harmful to my mental health.
There’s a lot of female emphasis on
hoeing around, which I think is an
amazing push towards not judging
women for their sexualities and
sexual needs. But I think it is a
good idea to reflect on it. Do you
really want to have sex or do you
feel pressured to? Are you doing
this for your own pleasure?
What’s a healthy relationship to
sex look like? To me, it’s having
sex in a situation that I feel safe in.
I know that it is respectful to
myself and the other person, and I
know that I could say no to certain
things if I felt like I needed to.
I’m not writing this to tell you not
to have sex. I’m just trying to share
my own personal experiences and
hopefully comfort others who have
experienced this too, and possibly
help others make sure they’re
checking in on themselves to
ensure they’re having mentally
healthy, safe sex.
Model: Quirk
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STOGINATRIX—PHIL KAM
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PHOTOGRAPHY: ELLEE WOOD (@DEFINELLEE)
MODELING: @MAURI.HAZE & @SIGHDALI
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Do you have SPS?
Article by
MC Kane
Art by
Sam
Herrera
This is not a legitimate medical
diagnosis, it is merely a theory I
have created to quickly and
informally explain an aspect of
human behavior that I have
noticed in recent years.
Slim Picking Syndrome
(SPS) is a psychological
hindrance provoked by a limited
pool of individuals that we deem
to be somewhat worthy of our
attraction. SPS is most common
within smaller groups of
individuals that share similar
interests, colloquially referred to
as “cliques.” This is especially
true if the gender and/or
sexuality ratio is unbalanced (i.e.
Three “straight women” to two
“straight men.”) There are many
factors that may further the
complexity of such “clique”
dynamics among each
individual, a few to be
considered are: aesthetic
preferences, age, and
personality. However, it is
important to note that once an
individual has succumbed to
SPS, their judgement of an
individual based on these factors
is skewed, and in some cases,
completely disregarded.
SPS is a detriment to the
psychological health of an
individual as it creates a negative
feedback loop of insecurity. It is
common knowledge that many
of us prefer to be desired by
another individual whether we
act on it or not. If we believe that
the amount of attention we are
receiving from those around us
is indicative of our
attractiveness, then we are
telling ourselves that if no one is
voicing their attraction for us, no
one ever will. This is false.
Additionally, the pool of
individuals that may be voicing
their attraction may not be
appealing, which causes us to
fool ourselves into thinking that
we cannot do better. Further
limiting ourselves to an even
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smaller range of people, by only
paying attention to those that
reciprocate such desperation.
I once read a fan theory
about Courage The Cowardly
Dog; It explained that the
reason it seemed like Courage
lived in the middle of nowhere,
was because we were perceiving
the show through the mind of
Courage, and since he had no
sense of the outside world he,
therefore, could not imagine its
existence. Living with SPS is
very similar, in that it
squanders any hope that there
could be “more fish in the sea”
because we are only perceiving
who is around us as viable
options for a relationship.
SPS creates a scenario in
which we are limiting ourselves
and our outlook on life by
regressing to our primitive ways
of picking partners based on
convenience. Both parties are
usually affected negatively by
this because there is most likely
and imbalance between them.
Each imbalance plants their own
seeds of insecurities that each
partner must deal with. For
instance, a person who feels that
their partner is conventionally
more attractive than themselves
will feel insecure, fearing that
they are only dating them
because they have no other
option. While their partner may
disagree, there is very little in
this case that they can do to
convince them otherwise, which
inflicts damage on the
relationship. Furthermore, it
creates situations in which an
individual may forgo their
morals, or overlook normally
detrimental aspects in their
partner for the sake of
maintaining their relationship,
this is commonly referred to as
the “Honeymoon Phase.” I have
noticed that the time it takes for
one or both individuals in a
relationship to realize their
incompatibility is significantly
longer in SPS relationships
because there is less of an
inclination to abandon it, since
their alternative options are slim
and they have already,
sometimes unknowingly,
convinced themselves that they
cannot do better.
This is not to say that all
relationships that blossom from
SPS are doomed. I have
witnessed many cases of what
some might call fate that result
in long-lasting and healthy
relationships. I am merely
stating my findings over the past
few years as a young adult who
has experienced SPS myself, to
remind people that there ARE
plenty of fish in the sea, and that
you should consider your
relationships carefully. You don’t
have to settle for someone just
because it’s convenient, or you
fear that your options are
limited, because they probably
are, and you can do better.
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PHOTO BY @FLAURELISE
A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM GRRRL COUCH MAGAZINE
MODEL @MEG_MOON
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TEXTS PROVIDED BY DANIELLE
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RETROUVALLES:
(French), The happiness that fills your heart when you
meet someone after a very long time.
Written by Liam Lawless
As we drive aimlessly into the night, music
blaring, I can’t help but reminisce about the day I first
met you. No, I don’t mean the college tour we so
effortlessly romanticize. I mean the day you came to
visit. Before then, I knew you and you knew me, but we
hadn’t really met, no. I can picture it now…
No matter how many times I pinched myself, I
still couldn’t believe you were here. You were actually
here, sitting right in front of me. You really drove
hundreds of miles, just to see me. Oh how naive I was
back then; convincing myself I wasn’t fiercely in love
with you while simultaneously having thoughts like
that. We sat across from each other, sipping iced coffee
and smiling uncontrollably. God, how I adore your
smile. Nothing warms my heart more than seeing you
grin and giggle.
Before long, we were parading through that art
museum like we owned it, commenting on paintings
like connoisseurs when in reality we knew next to
nothing. We imitated the silly poses of each of the
sculptures, and caught quite a few sideways looks from
security guards and other patrons. Yet we shrugged
them all off, because we were enjoying our time
together and nothing else seemed to matter. There we
were, young and stupid, basking in the warm glow of all
the ever-romanticized tropes than bring life to every
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teen romance, and loving every second of it. It was as if
we knew how cliché we were. Even in the museum,
though, we hadn’t completely met. We saw glimpses,
shimmers of light breaking through and shining on the
other ever so softly, ever so gently.
Only after a day full of art, food, and exploration did we
truly meet one another. When we sat in near darkness,
looking at one another so fondly. In those fleeting
moments, I met you. That was when I first saw you as I
do now; the way your green eyes invite me to get lost in
their brightness, with an expression of boundless joy
and excitement glued to your face, and with the safety
that comes when we hold each other. Every little detail
leaves me breathless. In the moment we met, I felt more
loved and cared for than I have ever been in my entire
life, and I carry those feelings with me to this day. That
was when we met, when the intense love for one
another became utterly transparent for us to revel in
unhindered.
I often find myself replaying those moments over
and over in my head. They bring me comfort in the
most frightening of times and I cherish them deeply. I
cherish you deeply. Those feelings have only grown
stronger in the years since then. After everything we
have been through, my heart still races around you. You
know, I don’t view the wrongs I’ve done in my life as
mistakes anymore, because they put me on the path
that lead to you. And I wouldn’t change that for the
world.
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Self love…
Self love is like a cool stream of water
A gentle shower of sunlight in the late afternoon
A sweet warm breeze wrapping around your
shoulders
Self love is summer rain
Is the deep blue ocean
Is the sparkle when the sun hits the horizon
Self love is a shapeshifter
Blending itself into different moments, different
forms
Braiding itself in between my words, my touch, my
gaze
Self love is a salve to the ache in my chest, to my
tired back, to my heavy eyes
Self love heals
Self love nurtures
Self love rebirths
- Kira Rosen
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gently.
Now treat it
heart,
You have her
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cv
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MODELING:
@MAURI.HAZE
PHOTOGRAPHY:
ELLEE WOOD
(@DEFINELLEE)
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-farewell-
If you’re reading this or hearing this
Then I suppose I’m already gone
I’m going to force my hurt to rhyme
Put simply you were the one I wanted
You’re the one that could stand the test of time
I write this several months in advance
Need to thank you for giving me a chance
Your love has made me stranger and wiser
You gave me space to grow, realize I was
never a ‘Her’
Most never find or receive
Unconditional positive regard for another
Selfishly I don’t want to let go
You are mine and I’ll mark you so
Without knowing, you’ve made me yours
Every touch chained me
Kiss broke me
I am yours and yours alone
- Quirk
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Photo by Hannah Siddiqui
Model: Chloe Beresford-Wood
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How posting my nudes lead to
deeper self love..
WRITTEN BY KIRA ROSEN.
The love I feel for this body is
absolutely unprecedented. It deeper than
aesthetics. It’s deeper than confidence. It’s
deeper than functionality. It’s not something I
made, it’s something I have access to. It’s a
deep love rooted in the center of my being, it
feels inherent like the love a parent feels for a
child. I never knew what it would mean to
love my body, I didn’t have a clue what that
would feel like in actuality. I didn’t know that
loving my body doesn’t mean that I like what
it looks like all the time. I didn’t realize that
loving my body would extend to all of the
smells, textures, functions, and feelings of my
body. I didn’t know the feeling of absolute
comfort, fluidity, and expansiveness that
nudity would bring me. I didn’t quite grasp
the sensuality and the deepened connection
to nature and all living things I would access. I
didn’t understand how the value of touch
would increase to one of the most meaningful
methods of communication for me. I didn’t
predict the clearer pathway to my emotional
existence. I didn’t know any of it.
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FEATURED PHOTO BY VINCENT BERCASIO
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A
KISS
IN
THE
BACK
SEAT
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A collection of songs about love and
sex, as submitted by Grrrl Couch
Supporters
For when you're all lovey dovey...
I Melt With You—Modern English
Sad Fuzz—Ty Segall
Someone—Depeche Mode
He Likes Me—Violent Femmes
He’s So Fine—The Chiffons
I Was Made for Loving You—Kiss
Someone New—Hozier
Love on the Brain—Rihanna
I’d Rather Be With You—Bootsy Collins
Nothing Takes the Place of You—Prince
Buster
Art by Sophia Marie
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Love? Tell Me, Is It Easy?—Hala
You Bet I Stare—Bane’s World
Dreaming of You—Cigarettes After Sex
I Only Have Eyes for You—The Flamingos
For when you’re feeling that typa way...
My Neck, My Back (Lick It)—Khia
Deepthroat—cupcakke
Fuck the Pain Away—Peaches
Gucci Coochie—Die Antwoord (ft. Dita Von
Teese)
Get Ur Freak On—Missy Elliott
Candy Shop—50 Cent
Sex to the Devil—Icky Blossoms
Bedrock—Young Money
Closer (Deviation)—Nine Inch Nails
Your Teeth In My Neck—Kali Uchis
Pussy is God—King Princess
Like a Prayer—Madonna
I Wanna Sex You Up—Color Me Badd
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GRRRL COUCH VOL. #6
RELEASED JUNE 2019
INSTAGRAM: @grrrlcouch
ISSUU.COM/GRRRLCOUCH
GRRRLCOUCH@GMAIL.COM
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