The Good Life – May-June 2019

MAY-JUNE 2019 

FREE TO A GOOD HOME

FATHERS | MR. FULL-TIME DAD 

A Hundred Ways to Say No 

WRITTEN BY: BEN HANSON 

Walking into the house on an early 

Saturday afternoon from a routinely 

wonderful trip to Fleet Farm, I was 

greeted by the cheerful sounds of a 

humming KitchenAid stand mixer 

and a giddy three-year-old sous chef. 

The sun had finally broken through 

that weekend — the weekend after 

the snowpocalypse that wasn’t — and 

everyone was happy to feel the first 

real signs of spring. 

We had spent the majority of the day 

cleaning the house, and now Macklin 

and Mama were busy making use of 

the mostly spotless counter tops to 

make homemade pasta for dinner… 

because there’s no better time to 

prepare an elaborate meal than when 

the kitchen is fresh and decluttered. 

As I was about to dump the fresh bag 

of dog food into Lucy’s bin, I spotted 

2 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com 

potential disaster out the corner of 

my eye. 

“No, no, no, no, no! STOP!” I shouted 

at Mack, as I saw his perfect little 

fingers get dangerously close to the 

grinding, metal jaws of the pasta 

maker. “You can’t put your fingers in 

there, buddy, or you’ll lose them. You’re 

not in trouble,” I assured him, “I just 

don’t want you to get hurt.” 

I had said the same line countless 

times before. You’re not in trouble, 

but… I don’t want you to get hurt; I 

don’t want the toilet to flood; I don’t 

want you to burn yourself; I don’t want 

you to die an early death! Fill in the 

blank with whatever your imagination 

can think of, chances are I’ve said it. 

I returned to replenishing the dog 

food, but I lingered on the prior scene. 

While I reassured myself that I was 

just being a good parent in providing 

an explanation to my strongly spoken, 

finger-saving intervention, it struck me 

that all I was doing was saying no… 

albeit with context. The more I thought 

about it, the more I realized that I had 

developed yet another new skill thanks 

to the challenges of parenting. 

I can say no, teach a quick lesson 

and avoid tears with the deftness 

of a tightrope walker navigating 

the one and only straight-line path 

to self-preservation. Any misstep 

is an irreversible mistake. For me, 

one poorly chosen word, a decibel 

louder or an octave higher and all 

is lost. If I stray too far to the gentle 

side, the learning moment may get 

marginalized. If I’m too forceful, no 

amount of logic or reason can break 

through a flood tears.

I’ve gotten so good at this, the word no often doesn’t 

even enter the conversation. I may use some classic 

redirection when Mack starts to test boundaries a bit too 

much. “What if we took the baseball game outside where 

there’s more room to hit the ball… isn’t that a good idea?” 

I’ll ask before he winds up to pitch a fastball destined for 

a hanging picture frame. 

If it’s something he knows he probably shouldn’t be doing 

— or, more likely, has been busted doing before — it might 

only take a look. A look and a slow “don’t even think about 

it” shake of my head. He always knows the answer in this 

scenario, but he loves the reaction and his sneaky grin 

assures me his sense of humor is developing quite well. 

Sometimes, I’ll say no hours or even days ahead of time. 

How? Well here’s another secret: all parents can predict 

the future. For example, if I buy myself half a pecan pie 

with no intention of sharing it, I avoid having to say no to 

Macklin by hiding it in the downstairs fridge, which he 

knows is only stocked with “grown-up drinks.” Problem 

not just solved, but averted. 

I’ve come up with a hundred different ways of saying 

no to Macklin. Usually on the spot, too. It’s a real feat of 

creativity. Nobody likes being told they can’t do something, 

especially when it’s pure, innocent curiosity that’s driving 

the undesirable action. 

Why am I being told I can’t touch the fire? Fire is awesome! 

Yes, fire is super duper awesome. But now that I’m done 

shout-saving your life, allow me to explain just how not 

awesome third-degree burns feel. • 

NO 

NO 

NO 

urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 3

CONTENTS 

MAY-JUNE 2019 

VOLUME 6 • ISSUE 6 

24 

ASK 30 WOMEN 

THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T 

ASK, SAY OR DO ON A 

FIRST DATE? 

2 

8 

FATHERS 

A HUNDRED WAYS TO SAY NO 

LOCAL BAND 

GO MURPHY 

26 

30 

RIDES WITH JAY THOMAS 

EVERY RIDE HAS A STORY 

LOCAL HERO 

WOUNDED WARRIOR PROJECT 

FIGHTING FOR A CAUSE 

12 

HOW TO NOT 

BE CREEPY 

SO WOMEN DON'T 

RUN IN THE OTHER 

DIRECTION... 

14 

HAVING A 

ROOT BEER WITH 

BERNIE DARDIS 

18 

ON THE COVER 

FARGO INVADERS 

4 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

PUBLISHED BY 

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Darren Losee 

darren@urbantoadmedia.com 

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dawn@urbantoadmedia.com 

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS 

Meghan Feir 

Alexandra Floersch 

Brittney Goodman 

Ben Hanson 

Krissy Ness 

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The Good Life Men’s Magazine is distributed six times 

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Magazine accepts no liability for reader dissatisfaction 

arising from content in this publication. The opinions 

expressed, or advice given, are the views of individual 

writers or advertisers and do not necessarily represent 

the views or policies of The Good Life Men’s Magazine. 




LOCAL BAND 


It’s a Generational Thing 

WRITTEN BY: KRISSY NESS • PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA 

It’s not always obvious what influences a band to make 

the music they do. They could be interested in music from 

many different genres and create something totally unique. 

Go Murphy is so much more than that. 

The sound they create is what they categorize as Indie 

Rock, but their influences aren’t always in that genre. From 

Primus to the Foo Fighters they pull from everywhere, 

especially ‘90s rock, where their roots are. 

Go Murphy, like most bands, got their name from a totally 

random and somewhat humorous place. 

“I woke up after a night of partying to my friend's fiancé 

yelling, ‘No Murphy’ at their dog because he ate her brand 

new shoes. I thought it had a cool ring to it and changed it 

to Go Murphy and the guys liked it so we went with it,” said 

Marcus. 


LOCAL BAND 

“Dave Grohl said it best – The Foo Fighters is the dumbest 

name and I’m in it and I picked it. It’s just what it is,” added 

Tom. 

Go Murphy is made up of four guys in the Fargo-Moorhead 

area. Two of the original members Ryan Dahl (bass/vocals) 

and Marcus Rondestvedt (guitar/vocals) have 3 full albums 

and an EP under their belt while Tom Hill (drums) and 

Jason Forthun (guitar) have been playing with Go Murphy 

for roughly four years. All four of them are featured on the 

albums Buildings and Dakota. 

I always make it a point to listen to whatever band I am 

writing about while I write my articles because I hope it 

helps shape how I write about each band. With this being 

said, it is very obvious which generation these guys grew 

up in and where they are pulling from. There is a very 

mellow yet exciting tone in their music. 

“We all grew up in the ‘90s and the older I get I kind of look 

back to that noise rock and stuff and some of that kind of 

starts to come through,” said Ryan. “ I think we all kind of 

share a little of that soft spot for the good old days.” 

The ‘90s weren’t always about grunge rock and boy bands, 

there is this sound that is unique to ‘90s rock that can’t 

really be explained, it’s more of a feeling. You know the 

one where your arm hairs stand on end and your tummy 

flutters and it’s exciting and leaves you wanting more; that 

feeling shines through in their music. 

“I think for everybody the formative teen years is where 

you hear what you used to listen to and get that feeling all 

over again,” said Ryan. 

Today's music isn’t what you would call rock forward, but 

more electronic and some pop. So how does a band whose 

influences are mainly rock-n-roll get inspiration from 

current music? Manchester Orchestra, Silversun Pickups, 

Alt-J are just some of the band that intrigue Go Murphy. 

“Music has become so accessible that you can just drown 

in it – you really can,” exclaimed Ryan. “I mean that’s the 

beauty of it because there is so much content there, but a 

lot of the trouble is…” “It just kinds of stems back to when 

MySpace was getting huge, and all of a sudden every band 

had a voice, which isn’t a bad thing, but when you are trying 

to put your name in a melting pot of 8,000 other indie rock 

bands – how do you stand out?” interjected Marcus. 

Standing out in today’s world where social media, and 

music apps run the world isn’t easy and the internet age 

has really changed the way music is bought and listened 

to. 


“I remember record store day and I would go to Discontent 

and new albums would come out at like midnight – and 

I remember like honestly lining up for White Pony from 

Deftones and there was a line around the block for a CD,” 

said Tom. “And everybody was listening to it in the parking 

lot because nobody had heard it before, and that kind of 

magic is gone.” 

“I hold down my thumb print to download the album, it’s 

not the same feeling,” added Marcus. 

The guys of Go Murphy enjoy music on a passionate level 

and they do it for themselves. 

“I think we all get the best satisfaction from the writing,” 

stated Marcus. 

“We do this kind of for ourselves,” stated Ryan. “As soon 

as we get done we are like ok, what’s next?” 

The most recent albums Buildings and Dakota, as I 

mentioned before, included Tom Hill and Tom has worked 

with some pretty talented people on his musical journey. 

“I have been a part of like seven different bands in my 

adult life and, if you don’t put his name in this article I’m 

going to be [expletive], but Sean Murray has recorded 

every one of them,” Tom said, half kidding. “The guy is 

amazing, super down to earth and talented, and when he’s 

recording and producing our albums he involves us in 

every step of the way.” 

It is not always about the band when it comes to making 

music, it is people like Murray that can add some pretty 

incredible “tweaking” to an album to perfect it. 

If you haven’t had a chance to check out Go Murphy you 

are sorely missing out. Head over to their Facebook page 

and click the link in their “About” section to find their 

music on Bandcamp. 

For Go Murphy the good life is being able to include those 

you love in pursuing your passions in life together and 

sharing the experience with everyone. • 

DAKOTA: BY GO MURPHY 


HOW TO NOT BE CREEPY 

SO WOMEN DON'T RUN IN THE OTHER DIRECTION... 

WRITTEN BY: MEGHAN FEIR 

Life can be hard for a man trying to woo 

a woman. I understand that as well as 

a straight, female-born female can. 

I’ve had many male friends come off as 

creepy right at the dire moment they 

were trying to be alluring. I’ve also had 

more than my fair share of unsettling 

male encounters — experiences that 

could scare a ghost. 

People are complicated. What’s 

disturbing to one woman may be 

enticing to the next, but as with most 

things, it’s often best to steer clear of 

anything deemed inappropriate by the 

masses early on in your friendship. 

According to one study done by Knox 

University called, “On the Nature of 

Creepiness,” creepiness is “anxiety 

aroused by the ambiguity of whether 

there is something to fear or not and/ 

or by the ambiguity of the precise 

nature of the threat (e.g., sexual, 

physical violence, contamination, etc.) 

that might be present.” 

Here are some general guidelines to 

follow, especially until you know the 

person and the situation well enough. 

The following 10 scenarios are taken 

directly from real-life experiences, so 

before you roll your eyes, realize there 

really are men doing these kinds of 

things — all while being oblivious as to 

how their actions are being received. 

1. Don’t write her romantic poetry until you know she’s interested 

2. Don’t write her romantic poetry when she’s already turned you down 

3. Don’t try to put the moves on her in your grandmother’s basement, especially when she keeps moving farther away on 

the couch 

4. Don’t make her a mixed tape/CD/vinyl/playlist of your favorite weird songs right after you meet, unless she’s shown 

some actual interest 

5. Don’t text her every day asking if she’s listened to said “mixed tape” 

6. Don’t proceed to get angry and call her derogatory names if she hasn’t listened to it yet 

7. Don’t pressure her into a walk after you get coffee and lead her into alleys and poorly lit areas 

8. Don’t call a woman you barely know when you’re drunk, lonely or both, especially between the hours of 11 p.m. to 

9 a.m. 

9. Don’t bike quietly behind her as she walks, just so you can check her out, be near her, and touch her head to feel the 

texture of her hair 

10. Don’t monitor her whereabouts. That’s called stalking.

Since most of you probably aren’t weird enough to think 

any of the above scenarios are normal, here are some 

less oddly specific suggestions for you to improve your 

interactions. 

1. Don’t stand close enough to where you could easily 

detect what sort of supper or digestive issues you each 

have. Unless you’re in an extremely loud setting, you don’t 

need to crane your neck toward her when you’re chatting. 

2. If you’re interested in someone, don’t have two 

completely different versions of yourself when you’re 

online vs. in person. People are much more likely to bare 

their heart and soul when they’re behind a protective 

screen. If you can’t stop dishing out details about yourself 

online, but you barely have a Midwestern weather 

comment to make in her presence, it’s time to reevaluate 

your approach and confidence. 

3. If you don’t have an established friendship, lay off 

the hugs, shoulder touches and such for awhile. This is 

especially true when you’re in a working environment. 

When guys go around hugging female coworkers, it’s 

often just plain ol’ creepy, especially when the hugs linger. 

4. If you’re interested in someone, don’t just stare. 

Gather up some confidence, put it in your pocket, think 

of your introduction and some possible conversation 

starters, take a deep breath and approach them. This will 

undoubtedly throw women off guard because we’re used 

to passivity or arrogance in this day and age, but as long 

as you’re genuinely acting nice and not just standing there 

staring, I can pretty much guarantee she’ll appreciate the 

effort. 

5. When you’re thinking of things to say to a woman, 

don’t be overtly sexual. Telling a lady she has a nice rack 

isn’t going to win you any points. 

6. If you have a strange hobby (e.g., doll collecting), I’d 

save mentioning that information for the 12th date. 

7. Just because you bought a lady a tequila sunrise, 

doesn’t mean she’s obligated to hang around you until the 

tequila sun rises in the east. Make your gifts be a gift and 

take the nos as a no. 

8. Don’t make comments comparing her to your ex. 

9. Don’t go to her Instagram and like all her beach 

photos in one burst. 

10. And lastly, since this is an article, not a book: Ask 

yourself whether you’d like your sister to be treated the 

same way you’re about to treat a woman... • 


HAVING A BEER WITH | BERNIE DARDIS 

HAVING A ROOT BEER WITH 

WRITTEN BY: MEGHAN FEIR • PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA 

Before West Fargo Mayor Bernie Dardis won the election in 

April 2018, he was a successful businessman. After being 

vice president (20 years) and president (3 years) of Cook 

Sign Company and CEO of Indigo Signworks (15 years), 

he’s still a consultant, along with his mayoral duties. 


Dardis grew up in the hills of Killdeer, N.D., where 

his father was the county sheriff. Campaigning for his 

dad was his first introduction to politics, and he’s been 

active ever since. After graduating from NDSU, Dardis 

even had a stint in law enforcement before coming 

back to West Fargo. Now, 42 years later, Dardis is still 

living in and loving his life in “the biggest small town in 

North Dakota.” 

Dardis and I met up over a pint of root beer in the halls of 

Drekker’s Brewhalla. We talked a lot about West Fargo 

and his long history with the city, reveled in our love for 

Minnesota lakes, and talked about his wife’s awesome, 

red hair. However, I saved the real humdingers for you 

below, so read on, friend. 

Good Life: What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? 

Bernie Dardis: This is going to tell a lot about me. 

French vanilla. I do like cherry every once in awhile. 

I have two daughters-in-law that live and die for Cass 

Clay Rocky Road. I have two cartons at our lake home 

and our house for them. 

GL: When you’re feeling down, who or what is your 

biggest go-to? 

BD: My wife — my Louise. She is the world’s best, 

biggest optimist. She has been my ballast for 43 years 

this fall. 

GL: That’s awesome. Are you a pretty optimistic guy, 

too, or do you kind of balance each other out? 

BD: I’m a worrier. Louise isn’t. If my wife reads that I’m 

worrying, she will walk up and say, “We’re FaceTiming 

our grandchildren.” She’s a heck of a nurse. Seven 

years ago, I had open-heart surgery. I didn’t have any 

grandchildren at that time. I’ll never forget what one of 

my sons said as he held my hand before I went in for 

surgery. My boy said, “Dad, you have grandchildren you 

haven’t met yet.” Jennifer, his wife, was pregnant with 

the first one. He said, “Fight through this. You have to 

meet your grandchildren.” And I did. It changed my 

lifestyle and I’m healthier than I’ve been in many years. 

Family did that. 

“I love AC/DC, and bass fishing 

is my absolute passion. I don’t 

care if I never catch another 

species, but boy, do I love 

bass.” – Bernie Dardis 


HAVING A BEER WITH | BERNIE DARDIS 

GL: What’s one thing people would never know just 

by looking at you? Any strange hobbies or bands 

that you like? 

BD: I love AC/DC, and bass fishing is my absolute 

passion. I don’t care if I never catch another species, 

but boy, do I love bass. I either listen to AC/DC or 

classical music when I’m fishing. 

GL: When did you start getting into politics? 

BD: I’ve been active in politics my whole life. I 

started for my dad as sheriff when I was 12. When 

I was the state FFA president at 18, I got to meet 

Richard Nixon. He took me into the Oval Office and 

had me sit in the president’s chair at the desk. As I 

continued being involved in politics, I had dinner at 

a table of 12 in the White House with Ronald and 

Nancy Reagan and then another time with George 

H. and Barbara Bush. Barbara once invited me to 

sit in the president’s box at the National Convention 

with their family. What a matriarch she was. I will 

value those experiences my entire life. 

GL: What’s one thing about your personality you 

like? 

BD: I think I’m a good listener. 

GL: What’s your best friend like? 

BD: I have a couple, but one in particular is Pat. I 

grew up with him. I’m a day older than he is and he’ll 

never let me forget it. Pat is the one person in the 

world who knows me better than I know myself. He’s 

never missed any major event in our lives, whether it 

was my kids playing in state championship football 

games, graduating from high school or college, or 

getting married. 

GL: What was your first job? 

BD: I was a gravedigger. I was 12 years old the first 

time I ever got paid cash to do a job, and it was for 

our friend Jim. He would dig graves, but he was too 

big a man to clean up the graves, once he started 

digging them. We had a 6-foot ladder and I’d crawl 

down and shovel. 

“I was a gravedigger. I was 12 

years old the first time I ever 

got paid cash to do a job, and 

it was for our friend Jim.” 

– Bernie Dardis 


GL: What’s your favorite 

book? 

BD: I’m going to give you a 

real sappy answer: Photo 

albums of my family. That’s 

my favorite book. 

GL: What’s your favorite 

quote, line of poetry or 

sentence that sticks out? 

BD: Shortly after Reagan 

had been shot, he was 

speaking at an event 

and someone dropped 

something. It was very 

loud, so he turned right at 

it and said, “Missed me.” 

That was so like him. 

GL: What’s your biggest 

pet peeve? 

BD: Mean people that say 

or do things just to hurt 

other people. I don’t have 

time for that in my life. 

GL: Have you ever had 

a laugh attack while in a 

serious meeting? 

BD: Absolutely. There are 

things that just tickle the 

heck out of me, and other 

people don’t get it. 

GL: What does living the 

good life mean to you? 

BD: Family. It’s as simple 

as that. If I can be around 

my grandkids, my sons, 

their wives, my wife, and 

my dear friends — that’s 

what life is about. Each 

day I can spend with the 

people I love is a gift. • 


ON THE COVER | FARGO INVADERS 

SEMI-PRO FOOTBALL 

INVADES FARGO 

‘Invaders’ Let Players Keep Playing, 

Fans Keep Cheering 

WRITTEN BY: BEN HANSON • PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA 

Some of the best stories start out in the oddest of 

places. Like a rented 15-passenger van, for example, 

on a sleepy stretch of highway heading to Minot, 

N.D. That’s where Matt Petznick and his thenteammate 

Shane Stephenson first started dreaming of 

establishing their own semi-pro football team here in 

Fargo. 

Back in 2013 when this road trip took place, the two 

were members of the FM Lumberjacks football squad, 

an offshoot of a semi-pro team based out of Brainerd, 

Minn., where Petznick got his start. 

Within his first season, it became apparent that the 

business side of the team wasn’t being operated with 

the kind of efficiency several felt 

it needed. So, as Petznick and 

Stephenson were driving their 

teammates and equipment 

northward for an away game 

in Minot, the two started 

seriously considering 

their options and 

taking control for the 

betterment of the 

team and their fellow 

players. 

“My first memory [of 

what would become the 


Fargo Invaders] was that trip to Minot,” Petznick 

recalled.“Shane and I were in one of the vans talking 

about what our colors should be. At that time, it was all 

conceptual. We knew we needed to be in a league, so 

we decided that was the first step. Based on if we could 

get into the league we wanted, that would determine if 

we could make this a go. We really made the decision 

to take the shot during that van ride.” 

Semi-Pro Success in Fargo 

In January 2013, an article ran in a local Fargo 

publication, announcing tryouts for a new semipro 

football team forming in Fargo. Petznick was 

immediately intrigued and decided to look into the 

opportunity to play the game he loved. He learned the 

Fargo team would start playing in the fall, founded by 

someone who already owned a team in Brainerd (which 

played during the summer months). Not wanting to 

miss out, Petznick joined the Brainerd team to play 

that summer. 

“We had a core group of about 40 players on that team,” 

Petznick said. “Pretty early on we were interested in 

starting our own team in Fargo. We figured if this guy 

could do it for several years and make it on his own, 

there’s no reason why we – as a team and a board – 

couldn’t do the same thing. We took it and ran with it.” 

As Petznick explained, there are two basic types of 

organizations in semi-pro football – teams set up like a 

business and operate like an NFL team, and the more 

rec league organization. Petznick and his teammates 

were determined not only to be competitive on the 

field, but run the organization with high standards and 

a commitment to the community. 



“Our team and the league are business-focused and trying 

to make a viable product,” Petznick said proudly. “When 

we started this up, we wanted to set it up as a nonprofit 

business so if someone leaves, the team can continue. 

Since Shane left, I’ve been the president of the 

team, and I’m confident that based on the model 

we have set up, the team could continue if I left.” 

With the gears in motion, all that was left was to 

find a league. In October of 2013, Petznick and 

Stephenson – the two original co-founders of the 

Fargo Invaders – submitted their application to 

join the Midwest Premier Football League (later 

renamed the Northern States Football League). 

The very next month, the league welcomed the 

Invaders, who make up a six-team league 

that would compete against each 

other starting May 2014. 

“We held our first tryouts 

in December, won our 

first game that May 

(49-0) and went on to 

a 6-2 record in league 

play. We also won the 

league championship 

our very first year,” 

Petznick said. 

After a blistering hot 

start their first year 

in action, the Fargo 

Invaders returned 

to reality just a bit 

during their second 

season. The team 

ended 2015 with 

a 5-6 record, losing 

the north division 

championship game to 

the Mid-America Fighting 

Orioles. As a team founded 

on sheer determination, the Invaders 

bounced back in 2016, completing a 

perfect 12-0 season and earning their 

second championship in three years. 

In 2017, The Invaders decided the time was 

right to move up a class to find stronger 

competition and continue making a name 

for themselves in semi-pro football. The 

team joined the Northern Elite Football 

League, and went about their winning 

ways by beating the seven-time defending 


champions, The St. Paul Pioneers, and tying for the 

conference championship. 

Community-Focused Competition 

In recent years, with all the attention focused on the 

damage that years of playing football can inflict on the 

human body, some naturally question the need for a 

semi-pro team in the frozen Midwest where no salaries 

are paid and players actually 

pay a fee to compete. It’s an 

objection Petznick welcomes, 

as it gives him the opportunity 

to tell the full story of the 

Fargo Invaders. 

“No one on our team gets 

paid, coaches, players, board 

members… players actually have to pay their own $150 

player fee and provide pads and helmets,” Petznick 

explained. “But we’re not here to get paid. I’d say half or 

more of our players do it for the love of the game. And 

one of the biggest reasons we wanted to be a nonprofit 

is to be more community based – almost like the Green 

Bay Packers, where everyone has a tie-in or a sense of 

ownership.” 

"We’re not your standard 

nonprofit, but we still want 

to offer opportunities to our 

players and area youth, along 

with other organizations.” 

– Matt Petznick 

This is where the real passion in Petznick’s eyes started 

to shine through. The moment he started to talk about 

his team’s community-driven mission, it was easy to see 

the game was perhaps just a means to give back and 

open up opportunities for his players as well as the fans. 

Lately, the Invaders have been partnering with another 

local nonprofit called Down Home that serves families 

in Cass and Clay counties who are transitioning from 

homelessness into permanent 

housing. For a team of big, 

strong athletes, helping these 

families during move-in days 

was a natural and rewarding 

fit. The Invaders are also 

involved with Big Brothers 

Big Sisters, Kamp KACE, 

Special Olympics and Giving 

Hearts Day. Last year, the organization hosted its first 

youth camp and plan to make it an annual event. 

“We’re not your standard nonprofit, but we still want to 

offer opportunities to our players and area youth, along 

with other organizations,” Petznick explained. “We’re 

also not shy about giving away tickets to our games, 

especially to benefits and silent auctions.” 

Name: Fargo Invaders 

Established: 2013, 2014 first season 

Championships: 2014 Midwest Premier Football League 

(MPFL), 2016 Northern States Football League (NSFL) 

[2016: Undefeated 12-0, Outscored Opponents 418-24] 

Current League: Northern Elite Football League (NEFL) 

Colors: Orange / Scarlet 

Home Field: Shanley High School, Fargo South 

(2 games in 2019) 

2018 Record: 10-3 

Lifetime Record: 41-15 

42 former college players on 53-man roster 



GAME PHOTOS SUBMITTED BY: FARGO INVADERS 

As a nonprofit, raising money to keep the operation 

running is a constant challenge. The team's biggest 

revenue source is its yearly raffle. They're currently 

selling $10 tickets for a chance at more than $12,000 

in total prizes at the drawing in May. 

Netting about $10,000, the raffle helps cover the $2,000 

game costs the team incurs every time it takes to the 

field. The Invaders also accept team sponsorships and 

are always on the lookout 

for potential donors 

looking to share 

in the team’s 

success and 

get a little 

exposure 

along the 

way. 

“We have an endowment fund set up as well,” Petznick 

explained. “Not much is in there yet, but if people 

are looking for ways to help or get involved, they can 

donate or talk to their business to sponsor or donate 

through the endowment. We’ve set these things up with 

the bigger picture in mind. We want to be here and stay 

here.” 

Recruiting For a Chance… Maybe a Second Chance 

Football is a grueling, difficult sport, so you may think 

to recruit for a semi-pro team (where you have to pay 

to play) would be next to impossible. But Petznick and 

the Fargo Invaders promise a chance to keep playing, 

whatever the reason may be. Players in the team's 

history have had NFL and CFL ties, including former 

Bison and arena football players. 

“Our recruits may have been on a college team and 

didn’t get as many reps as they wanted, or they could 

have been starters” Petznick said. “Some are looking 

to take it to the next level –maybe they’re done playing 

college football and want more film to show recruiters. 

The next step may be an indoor league or the CFL in 

Canada.” 


"For others, it could be a stepping stone to college… 

maybe their life didn't align perfectly, so this gives them 

the chance to get more film to send to college recruits," 

Petznick added. "We don't get a lot of players right out 

of college, but a couple of years after that burning desire 

gets them back in the game." 

That desire is what makes for a quality product on the 

field, as well. Petznick said all the games on this year’s 

calendar promise to be good match-ups against teams 

both in and out of the league. 

“Previous years we had some obvious mismatched 

games where we’re up so much by halftime we start to 

lose some fans,” he said. “One thing with our league is 

we have four powerhouse teams, including us, so we’ll 

have six very good games, along with three non-league 

games scheduled so far.” 

That desire is also what the good life means to this 

organization, a nonprofit set up to give players a chance 

to play, coaches a chance to coach and fans a chance to 

cheer and be a part of a game so many love. 

“The way things are set up,” Petznick said, “The Invaders 

aren’t going anywhere. Ten years from now, we’re going 

to be here. That’s the good life we’ve strived to create on 

and off the field.” • 

MATT PETZNICK 


ASK 30 WOMEN 

THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T ASK, 

SAY OR DO ON A FIRST DATE? 

First dates. They can be incredible life-changing events 

or they can be an epic failure – resulting in a life of 

everlasting bachelorhood. 

The results, in part, are up to you gentlemen. 

We asked 30 random women what 

things you shouldn't ask, say or 

do on a first date. If all else 

fails, let her do most of the 

talking. Yes, you may be 

able to throw a football 

over a mile, but your 

date doesn't care. 

DON'T ASK 

Will you marry me? 


THINGS YOU 

SHOULDN'T ASK 

1. Will you marry me? 

2. Do you want kids? 

3. Can I kiss you? Be confident. 

Just do it. If you have to ask, 

you probably shouldn’t. 

4. Don’t ask me anything sexual. 

5. Never ask who will be 

paying the bill. 

6. Do you want to meet 

my parents? 

7. Don't ask if you can touch my 

hair…to see if it is real or fake. 

8. Never ask for a second date 

before the first date is over. 

THINGS YOU 

SHOULDN'T SAY 

9. I’m going through a divorce. 

10. I still live at home. 

11. Never talk about ex’s or 

how many you’ve had. 

12. Don't talk about your 

“extensive” collection of katanas. 

13. Don’t talk about going to the 

gym or how much you 

can bench. 

14. Don't talk about how much 

money you make. 

15. Don't talk about the last girl 

you were with. 

16. Don’t run down the list of 

things you don’t like about 

yourself, or the list of changes 

you wish you could make. 

17. I think I love you. 

18. I don’t want to hear 

about your high school 

football career 

or that you were a 

state wresting champ. 

THINGS YOU 

SHOULDN'T DO 

19. Don't get drunk. 

20. If you want there to be any 

hope at all… DO NOT fart, 

belch or pick your nose 

in front of your date. 

21. Don't keep your phone 

on the table. 

22. Don’t bring me to the jail 

to register your ankle bracelet 

before we go out to eat. 

23. Don’t be rude / intolerant 

to people around us. 

24. Don’t bring your kids 

on a first date. 

25. Don't show up late. 

I thought he stood me up. 

Although we got married, so 

maybe it wasn’t a deal breaker. 

26. Don’t invite me to your 

house that has black garbage 

bags over the windows 

for curtains. 

27. Don’t show up in a 

baseball cap, unshaven and 

in a t-shirt. C’mon man… 

make an effort. 

28. Don’t text or answer calls. 

29. Don’t be overly affectionate. 

I’m still getting to know you. 

30. Don’t demonstrate poor 

listening skills. 

NO PHONES 

She doesn't want 

to see 89 photos 

of your new truck. 


EVERY RIDE 

HAS A STORY 

WRITTEN BY: BRITTNEY GOODMAN 

PHOTOS BY: CODY ROGNESS / CLICK CONTENT STUDIOS 

Jay Thomas, host of the Jay Thomas Show on 

WDAY 970 AM and 93.1 FM, is a well-known 

figure in the area. To many, he is known as Mr. 

West Fargo. He is also a major automobile 

fan, spending time with Toppers Car Club and 

the West Fargo Cruise Nights. Having a love 

of anything with a motor since an early age, 

hosting “Rides with Jay Thomas”, an online 

video series – soon to become a television show 

ABC TV – is a natural fit for this enthusiastic 

talk radio personality. 

"Rides with Jay Thomas" was Thomas' idea: "I 

came up with the idea three years ago. Forum 

Communications was looking to expand its 

platform. And I have always been a big car guy 

– participating in Toppers Car Club and West 

Fargo Cruise Nights. I started thinking about 

all of these local hunting and fishing shows, but 

there was nothing local when it comes to cars.” 


Thomas presented the idea over lunch to Bill 

Marcil, Jr., and he said, "I love this!" Some other 

priorities came up for a couple of years, but one 

day “Bill Marcil, Jr., reached out to me and said, 

‘Let’s do it.’” 

Thomas explained, “We started filming the video 

series with the help of Click Content Studios, a 

part of Forum Communications.” Sean Kelly from 

Click Content, who has done work with ESPN, is 

Thomas’ executive producer for the show: “They 

do a fantastic job with producing it.” Thomas 

mentioned the hard work of Cody Rogness at Click 

Content: “He sits down after every shoot and is the 

guy who puts all of the episodes together. He does 

an amazing job.” 

Thomas explained: "The cool thing about ‘Rides 

with Jay Thomas' is that from the beginning, I 

did not want it to only be about cars. We feature 

trucks, motorcycles, etc. If it has a motor and can 

move, it can be on the show. Plus, the vehicle has 

to be more than cool, there needs to be a good 

story behind it.” 

When asked about how he finds the interesting 

vehicles and stories to feature, Thomas said, 

“People call or email me or private message on 

Facebook, but the preferred method is to email 

your idea to rides@wday.com ." 

They are moving the series to television, hoping to 

premiere the series on WDAY ABC TV sometime 

in June, with a ten-episode initial run. Segments of 

the show will still be viewable after the television 

show begins at inforum.com. 

"The cool thing about 

‘Rides with Jay Thomas' is that 

from the beginning, I did not 

want it to only be about cars. We 

feature trucks, motorcycles, etc. 

If it has a motor and can move, it 

can be on the show." 

– Jay Thomas 


The videos and new television series feature stories from the region. Seeing 

the collections people have in the area has been eye-opening for Thomas: 

“I cannot believe the collections people have – tractors, snowmobiles – 

collections that nobody knows about. I’m a big car person and have been for 

a long time. How do I not know about these things? You just shake your head 

when you walk into some of these collections and say, ‘My God… how did I 

not know about this?’" 

One of Thomas’ favorite episodes was about Bison tailgating rigs: "it went 

absolutely viral, especially with the Bison fire truck." Another episode 

featured a Hudson Hornet collection and Thomas said: "People went crazy 

for that." 

One episode featured the collection of 

Steve Volla, near Mayville, with a Dodge 

Challenger done in the 1970s: “This thing 

was sick. This guy’s collection of Mopars 

is unbelievable – every one of them is 

stunning and rare. The buildings he 

has his collection in, are amazing – jawdropping. 

We went in to film and were 

all like ‘Are you freaking kidding me?'" 

Volla’s collection will soon be featured 

on the television series with a big Chevy 

Avalanche done as a tribute to Cheap 

Trick’s “The Dream Police.” 

Another episode featured “The Mutt 

Truck," a truck with 2,000 horsepower. 

This truck has also been featured on 

national television on Street Outlaws on 

the Discovery Channel. 

"I cannot believe the 

collections people have 

– tractors, snowmobiles – 

collections that 

nobody knows about." 

– Jay Thomas 


Thomas thanked Toppers Car Club for their help on the 

video series and upcoming television series: "They helped 

out so much with this – with their collection and with 

making connections to people." 

Thomas grew up in Hibbing, Minnesota. A gear-head 

from early on, Thomas said, "In the Iron Range, it is just 

the culture to like cars. As a boy, all my friends were into 

it. We all had friends whose dads owned a body shop or 

were mechanics, so we had access to tools. We would go 

cruising on Friday and Saturday nights and it was like a car 

show – we could see who had done what to their vehicle 

over the week." 

In Thomas’ personal collection he has a 1968 Camaro 

SS of which he is particularly proud. He also mentioned a 

1974 Barracuda and a Dodge Challenger. Also, "Rides with 

Jay Thomas" has a sponsored "Rides Truck". 

When he is not hosting the Jay Thomas Show, something 

he has done for nearly eleven years, Thomas spends time 

at car shows and also has been a promoter, supporter and 

competitor in the annual Derby for the Vets Adult Pinewood 

Derby at the Fargo VFW for the past six years. 

Thomas has been in the Fargo-Moorhead-West Fargo area 

for 24 years. He started working in radio while still in high 

school in 1982. He did his time being a radio disc jockey all 

over the country, but is happy to be doing talk radio: “Doing 

talk radio is a blast.” 

When asked what “The Good Life” means to him, Thomas 

said, “To me, doing what I’m doing right now, having the 

family that I have, that is the good life.” • 


LOCAL HERO 

FIGHTING FOR A CAUSE 

Wounded Warrior Project Promises Veterans a Path and Purpose 

WRITTEN BY: ALEXANDRA FLOERSCH • PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA 

Each veteran carries with him his own book of harrowing 

stories, but the pain points often overlap. Some face 

physical disabilities that prevent them from doing everyday 

tasks like tying their shoes – efforts the rest of us often take 

for granted. For others, the memories are hidden deep in 

their mental reserves and often surface without warning. 

Looking back on May 2015, Benjamin Watkins was 

unaware that his marriage was on the rocks. “I didn't 

realize there was a lot of mess happening in my life, and I 

was really distancing from my wife and my kids," he says, 

recalling. 

But thanks to Wounded Warrior Project (WWP), Watkins 

and his family spent four days bonding at Hiawatha Beach 

Resort in Walker, Minn. – an activity that would prove to be 

his saving grace. 

"I got to connect with my wife and really engage with my 

son and daughter. It literally changed my life," he says. 

"Coming home, my wife and I were in tears in that we 

were having conversations we hadn't had in years. It was 

so beautiful." 

Inspired by Experience 

Like so many others, 9/11 was the spark that started the 

fire in Watkins’ innate servant heart. Just 22 years old – 

and in his last year of college – he watched in terror as the 

second Twin Tower erupted in fire on television. That very 

afternoon, Watkins called his friend, an Army recruiter, 

and asked where he would fit in. 

“His suggestion did not disappoint,” Watkins says. 

Joining the Army Reserves, Watkins became a training 

non-commissioned officer (NCO) under the 13th 

psychological operations (PSYOP) battalion – the only 

enemy prisoner of war battalion in the entire military. 

Though now dissolved, the battalion was deployed in the 

initial push in 2003 and stationed at the infamous Camp 

Bucca prisoner camp in southern Iraq. 

"When I came home, I trained soldiers to do what I 

did – basically copying myself and downloading my 

consciousness into other soldiers," says the now 40-yearold. 


"I signed up, because I needed help." 

– Benjamin Watkins 

In 2014, a friend introduced Watkins to WWP, a charitable 

organization that helps veterans and active duty service 

members. When he watched the organization’s series 

called “Wounded: The Battle Back Home” and could relate 

to the post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) stories, he 

knew it was time to reach out. 

"I signed up, because I needed help,” he says. Watkins 

became so involved, in fact, that he was appointed a peer 

leader for two years where he was able to help other 

warriors as they faced the challenges of everyday life as 

veterans. 

"Your rank is left at the door. You're able to dig in and 

say, ‘This is what's going on in my life,’ ‘This is what 

happened’ or "I'm having trouble transitioning into this," 

he says. "It's an open format where you're not going to 

be judged." 

When a full-time position opened up at WWP, Watkins 

knew he had to apply. Hired in July 2018, he now holds 

the title of Outreach Specialist (covering North Dakota, 

South Dakota, Minnesota and Iowa) for an organization 

that changed his life. 

BENJAMIN WATKINS, DAVID COLEMER, JUSTIN SABO

LOCAL HERO 

PHOTOS SUBMITTED BY: WOUNDED WARRIOR PROJECT 

"I get paid to make sure my brothers and sisters are 

being taken care of,” he says. “I interact with people 

who – this is the last day they want to live – and I get 

to hear, 'This conversation changed my life... literally.' 

That's what I love about this job." 

Programs That Save 

Today, Watkins’ mission is to make sure Fargo-Moorhead 

area veterans know they’re not alone in their struggles. 

"I know there are veterans here, but we have less than 

200 people in the whole state of North Dakota signed 

up for Wounded Warrior Project benefits," he says. 

“There's so much Wounded Warrior Project has to offer 

them and it's completely free for soldiers and their 

families." 

Soldier Ride 

Soldier Ride is arguably one of WWP’s most powerful 

events. Whether on a standard, upright bike, recumbent 

bike or hand-pedal bike, veterans join in a three-day, 20- 

mile ride where they pedal only as fast as the slowest 

person on their team. 

It’s not surprising that the experience is an emotional 

one. 


"We're honoring that veteran and empowering them to get out and 

experience life again." – Benjamin Watkins 

"You can see the tears running down their faces,” Watkins 

says. “They’re so engaged because they have wind flapping 

in their hair, and they can feel it. They have the camaraderie 

they missed, and they're part of an event where they're 

taken care of.” 

Wounded Warrior Project Talk 

Simply put, WWP Talk is a free mental health support line. 

In reality, it’s so much more than that. 

"If a family support member calls to say, 'I don't know how 

to handle my veteran in this, that or the other thing,' we can 

advise them and give them some tools to move forward in 

the healing process for the veteran," Watkins explains. 

Independence Program 

Independence Program was designed to help warriors 

suffering from moderate-to-severe brain or spinal cord 

injuries or neurological conditions. Staff help warriors and 

their families set goals and build individualized plans. 

"It's giving them empowerment,” Watkins says. “We're 

honoring that veteran and empowering them to get out 

and experience life again." 


LOCAL HERO 

Warrior Care Network 

Warrior Care Network is a partnership with four top 

academic medical centers and Veterans Affairs (VA) 

to help service members and veterans deal with posttraumatic 

stress. Through the program, veterans receive 

world-class mental health treatment. 

“Families are part of the healing process,” Watkins 

explains. “They are vital in a warrior’s recovery.” 

Community Partners & Resource Center 

Furthermore, WWP actively partners with other 

organizations to fulfill needs they cannot. For example, 

Team Rubicon continues the mission to serve by taking 

veterans to help where disasters have happened. 

Through a partnership with CompTIA, veterans interested 

in information technology (IT) careers receive free 

training. Team Red, White & Blue encourages veterans 

to get active through running, rock climbing and other 

activities. 

But that’s just a start. From international support, finding 

jobs and preparing resumes to receiving the benefits each 

veteran has earned, WWP covers it all. 

Restructuring for Good 

In 2016, media reports accused WWP of wasting 

donations on salaries and events. The organization has 

worked hard since then to rebuild public trust, including 

naming a new CEO, Lt. Gen. (Ret.) Mike Linnington. 

“When Linnington was in the service, he was a soldier 

general. He was on the field talking to soldiers," Watkins 

explains. “When I was going through my onboarding 

during the first week of work, he was in the room the 

whole time and taking questions. Seeing that first-hand 

now – being behind the curtain – makes me love this 

organization even more." 


Day after day, hearing veterans stories 

is testimony of the lives being changed 

by WWP’s efforts. 

"People always say, 'I want to leave a 

legacy’ or ‘If I could just change one 

person's life..." and they question if 

they're even doing that," Watkins says. 

"For me, in this job, I know that I am. I 

have the fulfillment in that I know I've 

changed a life, or two lives or three." 

Watkins admits that the work he does 

for his full-time job undoubtedly fills 

his bucket. "Because of what this 

organization has done for my life, 

I want other people to experience 

that," he says. "It's a cathartic release 

knowing, ‘I don't have to live in 

yesterday. I can be something different. 

I am something different.'" 

When asked what the good life 

means to him, Watkins took a breath, 

looked back on his life and career 

and said, “The good life is being able 

to abundantly bless people at any 

moment – without delay, without 

hindrance." 

And he smiled, knowing he was doing 

just that. •

The Good Life – May-June 2019

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