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Reviews of Gates of Bronze
‘I intended to hold off reading this book until I had completed some
other work but could not resist and, once started, could not put it down.
It is a compulsive and inspirational account of how a tragedy became a
powerful force for good, turning around not just one life, the one most
immediately affected, but hundreds of others in a different continent.
‘Anyone who has suffered a bereavement, particularly a suicide,
or seen depression at close hand and wants to make sense of the
unimaginable should read this extraordinary and poignant book to find
inspiration and hope. It’s about loyalty, redemption, extreme suffering
and abuse as well as carrying a torch for a departed loved one. It also
contains much advice about ordinary life including helpful information
regarding setting up a charity, mixed religion marriages and moving not
just home but continents.
‘But do not read it as a self-help volume this is far more inspiring
and moving.
‘Philip Holmes is a natural storyteller but also a fighter with
endless enthusiasm which shines through these pages. It’s impossible not
to read this book without believing that some people have the power to
move mountains. He may be one of them.’
- Anne Sebba, journalist and historian biographer most recently of That
Woman, A life of Wallis Simpson and Les Parisiennes, How the Women
of Paris lived loved and died in the 1940s – www.annesebba.com
‘A heroic, heartfelt journey through personal loss to the salvation of a
thousand children on the other side of the world: caring, compassionate
and inspirational.’
- Rory MacLean, bestselling author of Stalin’s Nose, Falling for Icarus
and Gift of Time – www.rorymaclean.com
‘Over the years, Nepali Times reporters have accompanied Esther
Benjamins Trust and ChoraChori on many stories to do with children's
welfare. Some of those collaborations are mentioned in the manuscript.
It was not until I read the manuscript of Gates of Bronze that I learnt
about the background to Philip’s total commitment to the cause of
children. I never knew that side of the story: of his wife's tragic passing,
her love of children, her despair at not being able to have them herself,

Philip's affection for Nepal through his neighbours at Church Crookham,
and how the activities evolved as time went on and as the need of
children changed.
‘This is a very important book, and in a lot of ways a piece of
investigative journalism. It chronicles in meticulous detail, in an intimate
and personal way, the vulnerabilities faced by Nepali children. It exposes
the predators, their political protectors and the cross-border nature of
trafficking. This book is important because it will alert governments,
charities, international child welfare groups, as well as potential dogooders
and donors about the need to be careful with where they put
their money.
‘Gates of Bronze will also be a high profile expose of the security
agencies and powers that be that profit from the abuse and exploitation
of our children. It also needs to be translated into Nepali and local Indian
languages for fuller impact.’
- Kunda Dixit, Editor of English language weekly The Nepali Times –
www.nepalitimes.com
‘Philip’s account is a raw insight into an underworld in Nepal. An honest
narrative of his own journey towards establishing ChoraChori, it is an eye
opener to the power of human resilience. Proud to be an Ambassador off
Philip’s charity, Gates of Bronze was my introduction to the years of work
he has put into empowering the lost children of Nepal and equipping
them for a future. Having visited his centre in Kathmandu myself, I have
seen first-hand how much has already been done by the strong team
Philip has built. I know Philip’s account will pique interest and more
awareness towards the unspeakable horrors children are going through
and what it takes to help them.’
- Amrita Acharia, Ukrainian-Nepalese actress,
of ITV’s Good Karma Hospital and HBO’s Game of Thrones

Philip Holmes was born and brought up in Northern Ireland. Immediately
after qualifying as a dentist from Queen’s University, Belfast in 1982 he
joined the British Army, seeing service in UK, Germany and Belize. He was
promoted to Lieutenant Colonel in 1995. In response to the suicide of his
first wife, Esther Benjamins, in January 1999 Philip resigned his
commission to set up a charity for Nepalese children in her memory. He
married Beverley in September 2002 and in 2004 the couple moved to
live in Nepal so that Philip could lead his charity’s anti-child trafficking
operations on the ground. Philip and Bev returned to UK in 2012 with
their adopted Nepalese children, Alisha and Joe. Their life’s work in Nepal
continues through the UK registered charity ChoraChori which they
founded in January 2015. ChoraChori is currently at the forefront of the
fight against child rape in Nepal.
The Holmes family now live near Kingsbridge in Devon, UK.

GATES OF BRONZE
One man’s journey from heart-breaking loss to finding
redemption and purpose in Nepal
Philip Holmes

GATES OF BRONZE
Published in the United Kingdom by Philip Holmes through Juntara Ltd
Visit our websites at www.juntara.co.uk and www.gatesofbronze.com
First Edition: April 2019
Copyright © Philip Holmes, 2019
The right of Philip Holmes to be identified as author and illustrator of this
work has been asserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the
Copyright Designs and Patents Act 1988
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or used in
any manner without written permission of the copyright owner except
for the use of quotations in a book review.
The events and conversations in this book have been set down to the
best of the author’s ability, although some names and details have been
changed to protect the privacy of individuals. Every effort has been made
to trace or contact all copyright holders. The publisher will be pleased to
make good any omissions or rectify any mistakes brought to their
attention at the earliest opportunity.
Cover photographs © Dermot Tatlow and Graham Uden
Cover design by Simon Avery at www.idobookcovers.com
Line illustrations by Philip Holmes
Printed and bound in UK by Biddles, King’s Lynn, Norfolk.
Photo credits:
Graham Uden (Hong Kong) Images 5 – 10
Herbert Grammatikopoulos (Germany) Images 14 - 15
Min Bajracharya (Nepal) Images 13, 27-37
Tom Bell (Nepal) Images 21 - 22
Philip Horgan (UK) Image 23
Mark Robson (Inept Gravity) Image 50
ISBN: 978-1-912804-81-8 (paperback)

AUTHOR FOREWORD
Through Gates of Bronze I have tried to distil and unite highlights from
over three decades of my life into some 260 pages. Inevitably, I have had
to sacrifice detail in the interests of brevity and flow of the narrative. The
content is derived from contemporaneous notes but also from memory.
Of course memories fade and my perceptions may on occasions have
been distorted by the episodes of extreme emotion that I experienced.
These ranged from the depths of despair and heartache to moments of
sublime triumph and absolute jubilation. Therefore, I offer apologies for
any errors and omissions that may have crept into this memoir; I am
happy to amend and include any facts in subsequent editions if I agree
their authenticity and import.
I must point out that, through the need to respect privacy and
anonymity, some names and identities have been changed, events might
have been compressed and dialogue has been recreated. Most
importantly, in the interests of child protection I have changed children’s
names. Some of the children’s stories that are interspersed between
chapters should be read as being illustrative of actual children’s
sufferings that I have witnessed after family life disintegrates in Nepal or
when criminals descend to prey on vulnerable people. These vignettes
represent a fusion of experiences and do not relate to specific,
identifiable children and their families but are nonetheless totally realworld.
Within these constraints this is entirely a true record of one-off
activities and human endeavours
which I have been privileged to join
and lead. I feel honoured to document
and indeed salute achievements by
remarkable people who would
otherwise go unrecognised - and
before memories fade further. Most
importantly, I assert the authenticity of
the synchronicities that I record. These
might seem far-fetched or fanciful,
and, frankly, I would not have believed
these accounts had I not experienced
them personally. They spanned the
gulf with the divine and ensured that
mine would be a very spiritual journey.

To Bev, Alisha and Joe, with all my love

Contents
Acknowledgements 1
Prologue 3
Part 1
Chapter 1 Return to Groningen 10
Chapter 2 A Downfall Observed 19
Chapter 3 Unbearable 27
Chapter 4 Dreams 36
Chapter 5 Tsedekah 47
Chapter 6 Coast to Coast 56
Part 2
Chapter 7 The Yam Between Two Boulders 78
Chapter 8 Gates of Bronze 93
Chapter 9 Alpha and Omega 108
Part 3
Chapter 10 Circus Children 118
Chapter 11 Raid and Rescue 134
Chapter 12 A Bad Day at Gonda 143
Chapter 13 No Man’s Land 152
Chapter 14 Alisha 171
Part 4
Chapter 15 Changing Strategy 182
Chapter 16 Joe 193
Chapter 17 Shailaja’s Wager 206
Chapter 18 Feet of Clay 215
Chapter 19 Journey’s End 237
Epilogue 247

Acknowledgements
In spite of the dreadful personal trauma and loss that I experienced in
January 1999 and subsequent challenges, I consider myself to have had a
blessed life. Unlike so many of the children in Nepal whom I would come
to meet, I enjoyed a happy and stable childhood and every opportunity in
my upbringing, education and career. I have been happily married twice
and am the proud father of two wonderful children. My life and work has
purpose and above all I have found myself spiritually. Therefore, I could
write paragraphs in gratitude to the family members, friends, charity
supporters who have helped me along life’s path. However, I hope they
can forgive me if, in the interests of brevity, I confine my appreciation to
those who have helped me write and produce this memoir.
Encouragement has been for the most part gentle, but one
individual in particular, Els Horst, has been more robust than the rest and
I am deeply grateful to her for a directness that jolted me out of a certain
degree of literary inertia. My main reader has been my wife, Bev, who
has not only supported and sustained me, as ever, but has superb editing
skills. I recognise how well she has performed this role, one that will have
been particularly challenging for her in the early chapters of the book.
My other main readers have been my wonderful, ever-loyal, big
brothers, Tom and Willie, church ministers Willie McNaughton and
Graham Dear, and friends Angela Sherman, Abha Karki, Grace
Mulchrone, Neal Gillespie, Simon Boyd and Susie Wren. I am particularly
indebted to literary consultant Victoria Roddam for her transformative
input.
I would like to thank those whose photographs have been
reproduced, namely Dermot Tatlow, Graham Uden, Herbert
Grammatikopoulos, Tom Bell, Philip Horgan, Mark Robson and Min
Bajracharya.
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Prologue
‘Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school
an intelligence and make it a soul?’
- John Keats, letter to George and Georgiana Keats
2

4
Kingsbridge, Devon. January 2019.
Dear Esther,
I
t’s been 20 years since you passed over and here is my belated
response to the one-liner you left me on the day of your death. How
those stark words of yours have haunted me ever since in their
pathos, their excruciating brevity.
At the end you had convinced yourself that you’d become worse
than worthless, a liability who stood to ruin my future. I couldn’t
persuade you otherwise or help you to shake off this false perception.
Ultimately it dragged you under. Through this memoir you will realise
that, on the contrary, you were my inspiration not just in life, but also in
death. Although I can’t imagine taking a greater, more traumatic, body
blow, your loss didn’t become my nemesis. On the contrary, I became
stronger, more focussed and resolute. Your death proved to be my
redemption. It’s tough for me to make such an observation, but it is
undeniably true. For I found a professional and personal fulfilment that
undoubtedly wouldn’t have happened if our marriage had continued
beyond those first, sublime, ten years. While you were at rest I lived life
in abundance, on a bizarre and remote path that neither of us could have
anticipated.
Do you remember how I used to joke with you that you’d never
find a job with the KGB as you were too secretive? I laughed at the
methods you adopted to protect your privacy, flushing shredded
paperwork down the loo or encoding your diary notes into Hebrew. I
hope you will understand and forgive my candour, some of which relates
to our private life. Actually, intimate details have already been in the
public domain, cruelly so, and there’s no privacy to lose. But this is a
memoir that I believe is worth sharing in tribute to you and to document
what has been essentially your legacy.
I have no idea how much of all this you know already. It felt as if
you remained with me for a while following your death but after a year
or so I sensed you’d moved on. Did you stay around in those first few
months to make sure I was okay? If so, thank you, it helped, for I seemed
to absorb some of your strength and wisdom and that sustained me
through eight years of living in Nepal. Yes, Nepal – somewhere that you
once told me you’d love to visit. It’s not the Shangri La you’d visualised,
and not all the locals are as decent and endearing as the Nepali
neighbours we knew in England. But Nepal is never boring, ever

challenging, and the country I was always destined to adopt. It continues
to draw me back, a lodestone and second home that has taken
possession of my soul. When I’m there I meet up with special people that
I can’t wait to tell you about.
Is that persistent blue tit tapping at my bedroom window
anything to do with you?
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