Get Out! GAY Magazine – Issue 416 May 1, 2019

BY S. ASHER GELMAN
My Words on safeword.
When I first set out to write
safeword., my husband warned me that
I may be pigeonholing myself as the
playwright/director who only makes
work about sex. The truth is, safeword.
isn’t about BDSM, just as Afterglow
wasn’t about polyamory. Both plays
discuss those topics, but they are
ultimately plays about relationships.
While safeword. is an exploration of
power dynamics through BDSM and
food, it’s also about love - the love we
give give to each other and the love we
give to ourselves. BDSM is the device,
not the subject. This is a play about the
sacrifices we are willing (or unwilling) to
make for each other and for ourselves.
I’d be remiss to not mention the
extraordinary team that came together
to build this piece. Whereas Afterglow
was derived from my life experience,
safeword. is complete fiction. The team
was keenly aware of the necessity of
making this play as honest as possible.
I personally know a lot of people in the
kink community.
It is one of the most tender, loving,
and caring communities I have ever
encountered. It is also spectacularly
misunderstood, demonized, and,
ironically, fetishized. Popular culture
has not done the BDSM community
justice; most people’s exposure to it
has come through poorly researched
books and movies in which it is used
exclusively for its shock value and
whose creators clearly never bothered
talking to the very community they
were representing. In addition to doing
extensive and necessary research, many
members of our team are intimately
involved in the kink community; it was
important to all of us that we got this
one right. safeword. is a love letter to
the BDSM community.