COMIC ARITHMETIC
Arithmetic is the art or science of computing
bj numbers. It is national, political, military,
and commercial. It is of the highest importance
to the community ; because it pre-eminently
teaches us to take care of Number I. Our ministers
succeed according to their knowledge of the
science of numbers. Witness the skilful management
of majorities of the lower house.
He who understands the true art of Addition,
Subtraction, Multiplication^ and Division, as here
laid down, will not be considered a mere cipher in
tlie world; but will, in all probability, make a
considerable /^wre ; and in the figurative words of
Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in foenore
nummis."
Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection
of that god of honest men, the light-heeled
and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so to add
to our store by subtracting from the stores of
others, that we may add to our importance. Let
us so multiply our resources, by encouraging dimsion
among our contemporaries, that we may see
their reduction in the perfection of our own practice.
Arithmetic is the art or science of computing
bj numbers. It is national, political, military,
and commercial. It is of the highest importance
to the community ; because it pre-eminently
teaches us to take care of Number I. Our ministers
succeed according to their knowledge of the
science of numbers. Witness the skilful management
of majorities of the lower house.
He who understands the true art of Addition,
Subtraction, Multiplication^ and Division, as here
laid down, will not be considered a mere cipher in
tlie world; but will, in all probability, make a
considerable /^wre ; and in the figurative words of
Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in foenore
nummis."
Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection
of that god of honest men, the light-heeled
and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so to add
to our store by subtracting from the stores of
others, that we may add to our importance. Let
us so multiply our resources, by encouraging dimsion
among our contemporaries, that we may see
their reduction in the perfection of our own practice.
46 FIGURES FOR THE MILLION. Examples of Beduction ascending are to be found in the following cases:—When a noodle is made a lord; 2. When Timothy Fig obtains a baronetcy ; 3. When Muggins keeps his " willa ; " and when a beggar gets on horseback. Reduction ascending for Females. — Mrs. General Swipes, Mrs. Colonel Trashee, Mrs. Major Minus, Mrs. Alderman Bumble, Mrs. Commonsergeant Sprigings, Mrs. Common-councilman Snigings, Mrs. Executioner Ketch, Mrs. Beadle Blowem-up, Mrs. Corporal Casey. Reduction ascending is to be seen in the manufacturing districts; when the body politic gets inflated, a " rising of the lights," that is, of the illuminati, may be expected. In these risings the scum always gets uppermost, and some political demagogue is ejected to parliament by a revolutionary eruction—to be reduced to his own level as a leveller. Reduction descending.— " Facilis descensus averni, Sed revocare gradum, superasque evadere ad auras Hie labor, hoc opus est,"
RED17CTI0N. 47 This is the " old saw " Alderman Harmer used when he cut the city — or Lord John in his " finality " speech—cut his own fingers. POUTICAL REDUCTION. There have been many examples of Political Reduction both in our last and present ministry. The reduction of postage, so that it paid less than the cost, was an exceedingly business-like act. The reduction of cats'-meat in the storehouses Plymouth, Woolwich, Portsmouth, and Chatham, from a penny to three farthings a-day, at was also an example of legislative wisdom, and proved the maxim, "Sparus at the speketas letouat the bungholeas." The reduction of paupers'* food to " doubly diminutive and beautifully less " than that of the felon, is also " wisdom wonderful ; " being a new way of offering a premium upon crime, at about thirty and a third per cent. It is presumed to have occurred with a view to the assistance of Old Bailey practice, and of the Poor Law
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RED17CTI0N. 47<br />
This is the " old saw " Alderman Harmer used<br />
when he cut the city — or Lord John in his<br />
" finality " speech—cut his own fingers.<br />
POUTICAL REDUCTION.<br />
There have been many examples of Political<br />
Reduction both in our last and present ministry.<br />
The reduction of postage, so that it paid less than<br />
the cost, was an exceedingly business-like act.<br />
The reduction of cats'-meat in the storehouses<br />
Plymouth, Woolwich, Portsmouth, and Chatham,<br />
from a penny to three farthings a-day,<br />
at<br />
was also<br />
an example of legislative wisdom, and proved the<br />
maxim, "Sparus at the speketas letouat the<br />
bungholeas."<br />
The reduction of paupers'* food to " doubly<br />
diminutive and beautifully less " than that of the<br />
felon, is also " wisdom wonderful ; " being a new<br />
way of offering a premium upon crime, at about<br />
thirty and a third per cent. It is presumed to<br />
have occurred with a view to the assistance of<br />
Old Bailey practice, and of the Poor Law
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