COMIC ARITHMETIC
Arithmetic is the art or science of computing
bj numbers. It is national, political, military,
and commercial. It is of the highest importance
to the community ; because it pre-eminently
teaches us to take care of Number I. Our ministers
succeed according to their knowledge of the
science of numbers. Witness the skilful management
of majorities of the lower house.
He who understands the true art of Addition,
Subtraction, Multiplication^ and Division, as here
laid down, will not be considered a mere cipher in
tlie world; but will, in all probability, make a
considerable /^wre ; and in the figurative words of
Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in foenore
nummis."
Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection
of that god of honest men, the light-heeled
and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so to add
to our store by subtracting from the stores of
others, that we may add to our importance. Let
us so multiply our resources, by encouraging dimsion
among our contemporaries, that we may see
their reduction in the perfection of our own practice.
Arithmetic is the art or science of computing
bj numbers. It is national, political, military,
and commercial. It is of the highest importance
to the community ; because it pre-eminently
teaches us to take care of Number I. Our ministers
succeed according to their knowledge of the
science of numbers. Witness the skilful management
of majorities of the lower house.
He who understands the true art of Addition,
Subtraction, Multiplication^ and Division, as here
laid down, will not be considered a mere cipher in
tlie world; but will, in all probability, make a
considerable /^wre ; and in the figurative words of
Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in foenore
nummis."
Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection
of that god of honest men, the light-heeled
and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so to add
to our store by subtracting from the stores of
others, that we may add to our importance. Let
us so multiply our resources, by encouraging dimsion
among our contemporaries, that we may see
their reduction in the perfection of our own practice.
20 FIGURES FOR THE MILLION. RULE II.—TAKE CARE OF NO. I. No.1.—O ! since the world was made from 0, And 'since old Time began. The maxim was, and still must be, Take care of No. I. Look at the " Times," our oracle. As sure as any gun. With hand upon the dial-plate, It points to No. I. * AH men are fond of him, and for His sake round earth will run. And bustle, turmoil, rub, and scrape For goodly No. I. The soldier, who so gallantly Hath battles nobly won. Though bravely fighting, ever still Takes care of No. I. * Any one wishing to observe this great lesson to all mankind set forth by the leading journal of Europe, has only to look at the little vignette at the top of the leading article of the "Times."
ADDITION. 21 The mouthing prigs of Parliament, With long yarns nightly spun, Watch well for place and patronage, And all for No. I. And those who preach of charity. Enough your ears to stun. In making up their long accounts. Take care of No. I. One follows law, one physic serves. As shadows serve the sun But briefs, and draughts, and boluses All make for No. I. And those that oft make love more sweet Than cakes of Sally Lunn, In all their ardour ever have An eye to No. I. In short, mankind, both young and old. When serious or in fun. From hour to hour, from day to day. Take care of No. I.
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ADDITION. 21<br />
The mouthing prigs of Parliament,<br />
With long yarns nightly spun,<br />
Watch well for place and patronage,<br />
And all for No. I.<br />
And those who preach of charity.<br />
Enough your ears to stun.<br />
In making up their long accounts.<br />
Take care of No. I.<br />
One follows law, one physic serves.<br />
As shadows serve the sun<br />
But briefs, and draughts, and boluses<br />
All make for No. I.<br />
And those that oft make love more sweet<br />
Than cakes of Sally Lunn,<br />
In all their ardour ever have<br />
An eye to No. I.<br />
In short, mankind, both young and old.<br />
When serious or in fun.<br />
From hour to hour, from day to day.<br />
Take care of No. I.