COMIC ARITHMETIC
Arithmetic is the art or science of computing
bj numbers. It is national, political, military,
and commercial. It is of the highest importance
to the community ; because it pre-eminently
teaches us to take care of Number I. Our ministers
succeed according to their knowledge of the
science of numbers. Witness the skilful management
of majorities of the lower house.
He who understands the true art of Addition,
Subtraction, Multiplication^ and Division, as here
laid down, will not be considered a mere cipher in
tlie world; but will, in all probability, make a
considerable /^wre ; and in the figurative words of
Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in foenore
nummis."
Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection
of that god of honest men, the light-heeled
and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so to add
to our store by subtracting from the stores of
others, that we may add to our importance. Let
us so multiply our resources, by encouraging dimsion
among our contemporaries, that we may see
their reduction in the perfection of our own practice.
Arithmetic is the art or science of computing
bj numbers. It is national, political, military,
and commercial. It is of the highest importance
to the community ; because it pre-eminently
teaches us to take care of Number I. Our ministers
succeed according to their knowledge of the
science of numbers. Witness the skilful management
of majorities of the lower house.
He who understands the true art of Addition,
Subtraction, Multiplication^ and Division, as here
laid down, will not be considered a mere cipher in
tlie world; but will, in all probability, make a
considerable /^wre ; and in the figurative words of
Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in foenore
nummis."
Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection
of that god of honest men, the light-heeled
and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so to add
to our store by subtracting from the stores of
others, that we may add to our importance. Let
us so multiply our resources, by encouraging dimsion
among our contemporaries, that we may see
their reduction in the perfection of our own practice.
170 FIGURES FOR THE MILLION. by steam apparatus, to supply the astounding demand, and will be issued on Saturday next. " This extraordinary work is creating a sensation the most intense, as it completely daguerreotypes nature, penetrates the feelings like the electric shock, macadamises the heart, and cuts the soul to shivers." The Censor, New Novel by " Snivie." Written seven months after his decease, by the aid of the galvanic apparatus.—It having come to the ears of an experimental philosopher, La Fontaine, that this great author was no more, and it being justly surmised that a very large amount of Novel matter must remain in his system. La Fontaine undertook the task of extracting it by means of the mesmeric process, and has succeeded with wonderful effect. In performing his numerous experiments the flashes of wit were so intense as to overpower the anxious publisher, who, in the intensity of his admiration, has paid so large a sum for the copyright as to be enabled to add to the character of the work by charging double.
THE PUFF THEATRICAL. 171 THE PUFF THEATRICAL. It is with the most astounding rapture that the Manager of the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, has to announce that the new tragedy of " Chandos the Briber, or the Independent Potwalloper," which met with the most transcendent success on its first representation, has been recharged by the Author with pathetic scenes and tender situations, abounding with the most overpowering sentiment and overwhelming pathos. The Manager regrets that the cascades of tears which fell from the boxes and gallery during the last representation should have inconvenienced the " critics in the pit," and begs to inform them that, for the future, they shall not sit ankle deep in the " briny flood," he having, at a prodigious expense, and by the aid of a distinguished engineer, succeeded in forming a grand branch aqueduct, which will receive through the floor of the house "Nature's gentle droppings," and, by -an appropriate channel, transmit them to the back of the stage to a grand reservoir. Thus, the last scene of the tragedy, which represents the
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170 FIGURES FOR THE MILLION.<br />
by steam apparatus, to supply the astounding<br />
demand, and will be issued on Saturday next.<br />
" This extraordinary work is creating a sensation<br />
the most intense, as it completely daguerreotypes<br />
nature, penetrates the feelings like the<br />
electric shock, macadamises the heart, and cuts the<br />
soul to shivers."<br />
The Censor,<br />
New Novel by " Snivie." Written seven<br />
months after his decease, by the aid of the galvanic<br />
apparatus.—It having come to the ears of<br />
an experimental philosopher, La Fontaine, that<br />
this great author was no more, and it being<br />
justly surmised that a very large amount of Novel<br />
matter must remain in his system. La Fontaine<br />
undertook the task of extracting it by means of<br />
the mesmeric process, and has succeeded with<br />
wonderful effect. In performing his numerous<br />
experiments the flashes of wit were so intense as<br />
to overpower the anxious publisher, who, in the<br />
intensity of his admiration, has paid so large a<br />
sum for the copyright as to be enabled to add to<br />
the character of the work by charging double.
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