COMIC ARITHMETIC
Arithmetic is the art or science of computing bj numbers. It is national, political, military, and commercial. It is of the highest importance to the community ; because it pre-eminently teaches us to take care of Number I. Our ministers succeed according to their knowledge of the science of numbers. Witness the skilful management of majorities of the lower house. He who understands the true art of Addition, Subtraction, Multiplication^ and Division, as here laid down, will not be considered a mere cipher in tlie world; but will, in all probability, make a considerable /^wre ; and in the figurative words of Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in foenore nummis." Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection of that god of honest men, the light-heeled and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so to add to our store by subtracting from the stores of others, that we may add to our importance. Let us so multiply our resources, by encouraging dimsion among our contemporaries, that we may see their reduction in the perfection of our own practice.
Arithmetic is the art or science of computing
bj numbers. It is national, political, military,
and commercial. It is of the highest importance
to the community ; because it pre-eminently
teaches us to take care of Number I. Our ministers
succeed according to their knowledge of the
science of numbers. Witness the skilful management
of majorities of the lower house.
He who understands the true art of Addition,
Subtraction, Multiplication^ and Division, as here
laid down, will not be considered a mere cipher in
tlie world; but will, in all probability, make a
considerable /^wre ; and in the figurative words of
Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in foenore
nummis."
Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection
of that god of honest men, the light-heeled
and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so to add
to our store by subtracting from the stores of
others, that we may add to our importance. Let
us so multiply our resources, by encouraging dimsion
among our contemporaries, that we may see
their reduction in the perfection of our own practice.
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166 FIGURES FOR THE MILLION.<br />
and its object is to manufacture schoolmasters of<br />
a very superior character, at a cheap rate, from<br />
various " refuse " articles of all trades and professions—technically,<br />
the " unfit " or good-fornothing.<br />
In consequence of a profound investigation of<br />
the science of education, it has been discovered<br />
that those who are unable to conduct any other<br />
business, are the best adapted to " teach the<br />
young idea how to shoot ;" and therefore cast-off<br />
cobblers, tailors, teachers, and drapers, shop-boys<br />
and errand-boys, will be received into the establishment<br />
at the rate of a guinea a-week ; where,<br />
by the aid of educational galvanism, their misdirected<br />
faculties will be sublimed, their ideas<br />
topsiturvied, their moral and intellectual nature<br />
turned inside out, their understandings new<br />
vamped, soled, and welted, and their minds infused<br />
with a succedaneum of intellectual electricity,<br />
which shall evaporate itself in the mixed mathematics,<br />
pedagogicks, whackbackics, pancakeatics,<br />
tickletobyatics, and all other scholastic sciences.<br />
Candidates must bring personal recommendations,<br />
of a squint, a slouch, a leer, a game leg, a<br />
hump back, or any other accomplishments. Should
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