COMIC ARITHMETIC
Arithmetic is the art or science of computing
bj numbers. It is national, political, military,
and commercial. It is of the highest importance
to the community ; because it pre-eminently
teaches us to take care of Number I. Our ministers
succeed according to their knowledge of the
science of numbers. Witness the skilful management
of majorities of the lower house.
He who understands the true art of Addition,
Subtraction, Multiplication^ and Division, as here
laid down, will not be considered a mere cipher in
tlie world; but will, in all probability, make a
considerable /^wre ; and in the figurative words of
Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in foenore
nummis."
Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection
of that god of honest men, the light-heeled
and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so to add
to our store by subtracting from the stores of
others, that we may add to our importance. Let
us so multiply our resources, by encouraging dimsion
among our contemporaries, that we may see
their reduction in the perfection of our own practice.
Arithmetic is the art or science of computing
bj numbers. It is national, political, military,
and commercial. It is of the highest importance
to the community ; because it pre-eminently
teaches us to take care of Number I. Our ministers
succeed according to their knowledge of the
science of numbers. Witness the skilful management
of majorities of the lower house.
He who understands the true art of Addition,
Subtraction, Multiplication^ and Division, as here
laid down, will not be considered a mere cipher in
tlie world; but will, in all probability, make a
considerable /^wre ; and in the figurative words of
Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in foenore
nummis."
Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection
of that god of honest men, the light-heeled
and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so to add
to our store by subtracting from the stores of
others, that we may add to our importance. Let
us so multiply our resources, by encouraging dimsion
among our contemporaries, that we may see
their reduction in the perfection of our own practice.
156 FIGURES FOR THE MILLION. The parties so fortunate as to draw a prize will have an introduction to the subject of it, and a match will be negotiated, if possible, without delay. Should the parties not suit each other, they will, upon the payment of another guinea, be privileged to draw again. But it is assumed, from a careful examination of matrimonial statistics drawn up by Dr. Lardner, that the matter of suitability will never be taken into consideration. To facilitate its objects, a Normal seminary will be attached to the society, and a registrar engaged to marry at a reduced price, " that is, by the score." Billy Blowmetight, Secretary.
STOCK, FUNDS, ETC. 167 RULE XX STOCKS, FUNDS, &c. The monetary system of England is the ideal philosophy of political economists, who, in the conviction that " nothing exists," think it no " matter" to found a variety of hypotheses to give tangibility to the intangible, substance to accident, and reality to the abstract ; in short, to personify " nothing." These intangible tangibilities bear various names, such as Consols, Bank Stocky Indian Stock, Long Annuities i Exchequer Bills, &c. The aggregate of these OO noughts are, by a peculiar process of national arithmetic, made to amount to Stock or Funds.
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156 FIGURES FOR THE MILLION.<br />
The parties so fortunate as to draw a prize will<br />
have an introduction to the subject of it, and a<br />
match will be negotiated, if possible, without<br />
delay. Should the parties not suit each other,<br />
they will, upon the payment of another guinea,<br />
be privileged to draw again. But it is assumed,<br />
from a careful examination of matrimonial statistics<br />
drawn up by Dr. Lardner, that the matter of<br />
suitability will never be taken into consideration.<br />
To facilitate its objects, a Normal seminary will<br />
be attached to the society, and a registrar engaged<br />
to marry at a reduced price, " that is, by<br />
the score."<br />
Billy Blowmetight, Secretary.
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