COMIC ARITHMETIC
Arithmetic is the art or science of computing
bj numbers. It is national, political, military,
and commercial. It is of the highest importance
to the community ; because it pre-eminently
teaches us to take care of Number I. Our ministers
succeed according to their knowledge of the
science of numbers. Witness the skilful management
of majorities of the lower house.
He who understands the true art of Addition,
Subtraction, Multiplication^ and Division, as here
laid down, will not be considered a mere cipher in
tlie world; but will, in all probability, make a
considerable /^wre ; and in the figurative words of
Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in foenore
nummis."
Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection
of that god of honest men, the light-heeled
and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so to add
to our store by subtracting from the stores of
others, that we may add to our importance. Let
us so multiply our resources, by encouraging dimsion
among our contemporaries, that we may see
their reduction in the perfection of our own practice.
Arithmetic is the art or science of computing
bj numbers. It is national, political, military,
and commercial. It is of the highest importance
to the community ; because it pre-eminently
teaches us to take care of Number I. Our ministers
succeed according to their knowledge of the
science of numbers. Witness the skilful management
of majorities of the lower house.
He who understands the true art of Addition,
Subtraction, Multiplication^ and Division, as here
laid down, will not be considered a mere cipher in
tlie world; but will, in all probability, make a
considerable /^wre ; and in the figurative words of
Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in foenore
nummis."
Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection
of that god of honest men, the light-heeled
and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so to add
to our store by subtracting from the stores of
others, that we may add to our importance. Let
us so multiply our resources, by encouraging dimsion
among our contemporaries, that we may see
their reduction in the perfection of our own practice.
1 144 FIGURES FOR THE MILLION. a bumpological love-letter. Divine Louisa, I need not remind you that last night I felt (not emotions, raptures, and soul-thrilling transports) but your bumps. On returning home I also felt my own, and I hasten to inform you that while 17 is throbbing like an earthquake, all my 33 is insufficient to describe my state, on finding that a kind Providence has ordained that for every hump on your beloved head, there rises a corresponding bump on mine. 118 you do not see them, and in 16 declare that my No. 11 only centres in you. I do not wish to give a ^alse 26 to what I say, but in the 30 of your becoming mine, my No. 1 will develop No. 2, and all my No. 3 will be directed to 14 for your 13. Dearest girl, need I say more ? Nos. 2, 3, 4, are so harmoniously protuberant in both of us, that I can have no doubt of either a large or a happy home. Your 23 and 24, and the 26 on your
SOLID MEASURE. 145 cheeks, are indeed divine. Sweet soul, do allow your ] 3 to name as soon as possible your 31 and 27, that no untoward 30's may cross our 17's. Yours, from 1 to 36, Bobby Bumpas. 17 Hope. 30 Eventuality. 14 Veneration. 33 Language. 1 Amativeness. 13 Benevolence. 18 Wonder. 2 Philoprogenitiveness. 23 Form. 16 Conscientiousness. 3 Concentrativeness. 24 Size. 11 Loveof approbation. 4 Adhesiveness. 31 Time. 26 Colour, 27 Place.
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SOLID MEASURE. 145<br />
cheeks, are indeed divine. Sweet soul, do allow<br />
your ] 3 to name as soon as possible your 31 and<br />
27, that no untoward 30's may cross our 17's.<br />
Yours, from 1 to 36,<br />
Bobby Bumpas.<br />
17 Hope. 30 Eventuality. 14 Veneration.<br />
33 Language. 1 Amativeness. 13 Benevolence.<br />
18 Wonder. 2 Philoprogenitiveness. 23 Form.<br />
16 Conscientiousness. 3 Concentrativeness. 24 Size.<br />
11 Loveof approbation. 4 Adhesiveness. 31 Time.<br />
26 Colour, 27 Place.