COMIC ARITHMETIC
Arithmetic is the art or science of computing
bj numbers. It is national, political, military,
and commercial. It is of the highest importance
to the community ; because it pre-eminently
teaches us to take care of Number I. Our ministers
succeed according to their knowledge of the
science of numbers. Witness the skilful management
of majorities of the lower house.
He who understands the true art of Addition,
Subtraction, Multiplication^ and Division, as here
laid down, will not be considered a mere cipher in
tlie world; but will, in all probability, make a
considerable /^wre ; and in the figurative words of
Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in foenore
nummis."
Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection
of that god of honest men, the light-heeled
and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so to add
to our store by subtracting from the stores of
others, that we may add to our importance. Let
us so multiply our resources, by encouraging dimsion
among our contemporaries, that we may see
their reduction in the perfection of our own practice.
Arithmetic is the art or science of computing
bj numbers. It is national, political, military,
and commercial. It is of the highest importance
to the community ; because it pre-eminently
teaches us to take care of Number I. Our ministers
succeed according to their knowledge of the
science of numbers. Witness the skilful management
of majorities of the lower house.
He who understands the true art of Addition,
Subtraction, Multiplication^ and Division, as here
laid down, will not be considered a mere cipher in
tlie world; but will, in all probability, make a
considerable /^wre ; and in the figurative words of
Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in foenore
nummis."
Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection
of that god of honest men, the light-heeled
and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so to add
to our store by subtracting from the stores of
others, that we may add to our importance. Let
us so multiply our resources, by encouraging dimsion
among our contemporaries, that we may see
their reduction in the perfection of our own practice.
106 FIGURES FOR THE MILLION. is legitimate policy; to sell up our enemies has been a practice since the days of the Plantagenets. " Jocky of Norfolk, be not too bold, For Dickon thy master is bought and sold." Hence we can always buy our enemies, if we cannot beat them. Buonaparte, according to the radicals, was sold at Waterloo ; we have been recently sold to the Russians ; and thus British gold has been always more powerful than British steel. D'ye buy, d'ye buy, d'ye buy, A sheep's head or a lamb's eye. Ten thousand thanks will be given to any influential gentleman who will procure the advertiser a place of commensurate value under government an under lord of the treasury, a commissioner of excise, a distributor of stamps, a head clerkship, or any other situation, in which the principal duties are to receive the salary. Here is your lolly pops and real Wellington brandy balls, sixteen a penny As long as there is any.
BARTER. lOT Appointments in the army secured without risk, loss, or trouble to the purchaser. Cornetcies, Ensigncies, Lieutenancies, Colonelcies, to be disposed of, at the lowest possible prices. Also a few cast-off ribbons, stars, spurs, and garters, to be had a bargain. One a penny buns. Two a penny buns One a penny. Two a penny. Hot cross buns. The next presentation to a valuable rectory, to be had for a song. A title for orders, " cheap as dirt." Degrees may be obtained of A.M., LL.D, D.C.L. and D.D., on reasonable terms; and livings wholesale, retail, and for exportation. Apply at the " Bottle-nose Head," York ; or at the " Frigasseed surplice," Canterbury. Here's your spiced gingerbread. All hot, all hot Taste 'em and try ""em. Before you buy 'em ; All hot, all hot, all hot.
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106 FIGURES FOR THE MILLION.<br />
is legitimate policy; to sell up our enemies has<br />
been a practice since the days of the Plantagenets.<br />
" Jocky of Norfolk, be not too bold,<br />
For Dickon thy master is bought and sold."<br />
Hence we can always buy our enemies, if<br />
we<br />
cannot beat them.<br />
Buonaparte, according to the<br />
radicals, was sold at Waterloo ; we have been recently<br />
sold to the Russians ;<br />
and thus British gold<br />
has been always more powerful than British steel.<br />
D'ye buy, d'ye buy, d'ye buy,<br />
A sheep's head or a lamb's eye.<br />
Ten thousand thanks will<br />
be given to any influential<br />
gentleman who will procure the advertiser<br />
a place of commensurate value under government<br />
an under lord of the treasury, a commissioner of<br />
excise, a distributor of stamps, a head clerkship, or<br />
any other situation, in<br />
which the principal duties<br />
are to receive the salary.<br />
Here is your lolly pops and real<br />
Wellington brandy balls, sixteen a penny<br />
As long as there is any.