COMIC ARITHMETIC
Arithmetic is the art or science of computing
bj numbers. It is national, political, military,
and commercial. It is of the highest importance
to the community ; because it pre-eminently
teaches us to take care of Number I. Our ministers
succeed according to their knowledge of the
science of numbers. Witness the skilful management
of majorities of the lower house.
He who understands the true art of Addition,
Subtraction, Multiplication^ and Division, as here
laid down, will not be considered a mere cipher in
tlie world; but will, in all probability, make a
considerable /^wre ; and in the figurative words of
Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in foenore
nummis."
Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection
of that god of honest men, the light-heeled
and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so to add
to our store by subtracting from the stores of
others, that we may add to our importance. Let
us so multiply our resources, by encouraging dimsion
among our contemporaries, that we may see
their reduction in the perfection of our own practice.
Arithmetic is the art or science of computing
bj numbers. It is national, political, military,
and commercial. It is of the highest importance
to the community ; because it pre-eminently
teaches us to take care of Number I. Our ministers
succeed according to their knowledge of the
science of numbers. Witness the skilful management
of majorities of the lower house.
He who understands the true art of Addition,
Subtraction, Multiplication^ and Division, as here
laid down, will not be considered a mere cipher in
tlie world; but will, in all probability, make a
considerable /^wre ; and in the figurative words of
Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in foenore
nummis."
Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection
of that god of honest men, the light-heeled
and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so to add
to our store by subtracting from the stores of
others, that we may add to our importance. Let
us so multiply our resources, by encouraging dimsion
among our contemporaries, that we may see
their reduction in the perfection of our own practice.
104 FIGURES FOR THE MILLION. lappets himself ; he looks on all sides for an halfidiot heiress, or infatuated widow in a state of fatuity, and marries. Thus he jumps into his bishopric, makes religion a " good spec," till it is found out he has had " two wives " before, and a variety of miniature portraits of himself:—and thus ends his Practice. PRACTISING FOR THE OPERA.
BARTER. 105 RULE XIII. BARTER— BUYING AND SELLING—PROFIT AND LOSS. Man is a " forgiviDg animal," and this is a better definition of him than Plato's "biped without feathers," which the plucked cock demonstrated. Man is the only animal which strikes a bargain. A dog does not exchange a bone with another dog and however skilful he may be at a steak, he is not at all clever at this sort of " cAc/?." " Our chops are our masters," says Hobbes ; and it is all " a matter of wittles," says Sam Weller. Hence arise the art and mystery of swapping, buying, and selling, and the notion of trade and commerce, England is per se a nation of shopkeepers—we do every thing upon the principle of small profits and quick returns. To barter the national honour F 3
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104 FIGURES FOR THE MILLION.<br />
lappets himself ; he looks on all sides for an halfidiot<br />
heiress, or infatuated widow in a state of<br />
fatuity, and marries. Thus he jumps into his<br />
bishopric, makes religion a " good spec," till it is<br />
found out he has had " two wives " before, and<br />
a variety of miniature portraits of himself:—and<br />
thus ends his Practice.<br />
PRACTISING FOR THE OPERA.
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