Purpose Edition (January/February 2019)

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2019 OHBELOVEDONE.COM TRUST + FULL SURRENDER
As we enter the new year of 2019, I imagine most girls are re-evaluating their
goals from last year, making new ones for this year, and contemplating life
& futures. I cannot speak for the guys, but I do know girls tend to overthink,
over-worry, and overdo ALL the things.
For me, one particular subject revolves around the unknown future and
my humble purpose in life. I recall my junior and senior years of high school
and attempting to decide what I wished to do with my life after graduation:
college? no college? Full-time job? Part-time? Find a profitable hobby??
That general question STRESSED me out. And I suppose it’s because absolutely
everyone simply HAD to ask you what you’re plans were, thereby
adding pressure—however unintentionally—to my decisions for the future.
My answer was this: I’m taking at least one year and then perhaps I’ll decide.
Best decision ever! That one year gave me time to think, pray, learn more of
who I am, and actually learn to listen to my God and what He had to say. I
had absolutely no desire to go to college and spend money I didn’t have for
something I didn’t have a clue of studying for (and would probably never use
anyway). So, I stayed home. I worked on the family farm, got a part-time
job, and waited for God to direct my steps. I was no wallflower—no princess
waiting in my tower for rescue. I learned to be productive and diligent in my
time and efforts.
I suppose I knew it all along. But it was probably the year I turned eighteen
when my dream—my purpose—really sank in: I wished to get married,
become a wife and someday mama, and live my ministry of home-maker
with a husband and family. (Note: I didn’t have a boyfriend, nor had I ever
previously dated.) I was extremely insecure, anxious, and overly fearful of
my unknown future. I wrote poems during this time reflecting the burdens
of my heart, and often cried myself to sleep, until finally, I gave it all to my
gracious and merciful Savior. I still worried. So. Very. OFTEN. (And still
do!) But God gave me a peace to know He truly is in control; comfort, that
even if my dream to be a wife was never fulfilled, I would never be alone; and
contentment & patience to wait on Him.
Not long afterward, God opened the door to show me a young man, whom my
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